Bullying In Schools :(

[OdessaStud]

My vent for the day sorry people but if i wrote what I feel at the moment id be banned for life for sure.
I have 2 kids aged 9 and 10 attending a school with a total student number of 37 (my whole class was that many) the scholl has one principal (leaving at the end of term) only a temp and 5 other staff members.My youngest son is train mad and is constantly beign bullied by the other kids, he retaliates,does the right thing and tells the teacher and it still goes on.Parents bully the not so active parents in the community and pass on their words for their kids to use against the other kids, Im so MAD have rang the school principal yesterday and my son was victimised for the call and he didnt know we had rang so it had to have come from the principal.I know this goes on in all schools but this is a tiny school with a teacher to student ratio far above most and yet the kids are still getting picked on.My son will not take any train stuff to school for show and tell, wont use his train lunch boxes or bags.Has anyone got any ideas on how to deal with bullying without causing a riot and having my kids victimised.
Odie

 

[Den from Den Pythons]

Put you boy into some boxing classes, After a few months his confidence will build. When the bully pics on him he gives the bully a hiding! He may get detention for a bit but hey, beats getting picked on and teaches the other kid a lesson!

May not be everybody's idea of a solution but sometimes violence IS the answer.....

All the best, hope it goes well.
Den

 

[herpie boy]

im with den boxing is a great idea not only for confidence but also fitness.get your 2 boys training,come to think of it i should really get training again myself and loose a few kgs.good luck

 

[mummydolittle]

I agree with boxing. Not only is it a confidence booster, it scares other kids when they know that you box. We have a punching bag set up under our patio so our boys (4 & 5) can let opf steam without bottling it up.
Another idea even though it may not work it to call a school meeting (as the schools so small) and let all parents have their say and work out some solutions. You could have a authority figure there (police?) so things don't get out of hand.

I don't know what else to say but I hope it all works out VERY soon.
Tell your boys to keep their chins up and know they are the best they can be.

Cheers
Tam

 

[PilbaraPythons]

Don't take any crap from the principle or the teacher. Make him aware that he is responsible in fixing this problem and if nothing is done you will be making a complaint with the Minister of Education.

 

[Den from Den Pythons]

Boxing Tournament - Kingaroy
The Kingaroy Boxing Club will be holding a boxing tournament at Kingaroy RSL in Kingaroy St, Kingaroy from 1:00pm this afternoon until early this evening. A large number of local boxers will be taking to the ring to slug it out with one another in an enthusiastic celebration of the puglistic arts and admission is $12 for adults or $6 for pensioners and children. More details? Phone the RSL on (07) 4162-1755

Can't find a local club but try the RSL.

Den

 

[Kirby]

but what happens to the 'quite kid' when he bursts out of his shell and bashes another.. he becomes the quite angry 'crazy' bashign kid. which they then mock him for.. havent you all been to school? lol

i say, take him comewere to make him happy. a train show (do we even have these) or something. get involved with his 'hobby' and show some interest. it kills kids when there parents hate or dislike there 'love' for pets or toys. but at the same time, try get him 'skate boarding' or something more 'accepted' and teach him to say 'so what?'. nothing kills a kids bullying stride than a quick shut down to 'who cares? 'so?'

im sure theres nothign wrong with him. the school is small, probably has thick 'clicks' or 'freinship groups' that he hasent fallen into one, because he doesnt have a common interest with any one.. trains.. flourish his favourite (trains) but get him involved with 'cool' hobbies, skating, surfing, etc.

OR

bring in a python to school, let him hold it.. show it off.. small kids will think he's COOL as.. get mummies reptile in for show and tell. let HIM hold them, and show them off, let him tell everybody the snakes/dragon/skinks name and what it eats (small girls scream, 'EWWW' boys mutter 'coooool' ..)

well i hope this helps... i wish i had a snake for show and tell !!!!

 

[bitey]

That second part sounds great Kirby.
Sounds like a great idea to me.

 

[Bung-Eye]

I agree with both Den and Kirby. If he's interested in reptiles get him to take one or two of mums snakes in for show & tell.

The boxing is also a great idea. Will teach him discipline, assertiveness, confidence and keep him fit as well. It worked well for me when I was a kid, I wasn't overly picked on, but I was a runt (had a really late growth spurt at the end of year 12 ) and there was always one guy who'd have a go at me for everything. After boxing for a few years i'd had enough and told him to put up or shut up, he had all his mates around and thought he was cool.... he copped a huge hiding and ended up never coming near me again, much less poking fun at me.

Good luck with it anyway Odie, hope you can find a solution that's suitable for you all. Sounds like the school is poorly run.

 

[Den from Den Pythons]

but what happens to the 'quite kid' when he bursts out of his shell and bashes another.. he becomes the quite angry 'crazy' bashign kid. which they then mock him for.. havent you all been to school? lol

I've been in this childs exact situation! I was (and still am) the VERY quite and small kid. I was picked on by relatives kids constantly. My parents tried alot of different things but nothing was helping. Eventually they put me into classes, i was around 6 or 7yrs old. Afer a short time my confidence grew. When i was approached by one of the bully's i kicked him in the face before he had the chance to hit me first. After that he pulled his head in and we became good friends. It took a little longer with the second bully and we never realy got on afterwards but atleast he never hurt me again! I NEVER became the "crazy" bashing kid, i actually made more friends!

I can speak from experience that kids MUST stand up for themselves. It will help his confidence which will intern affect his outcome in life! All Bully's need a flogging to pull them into line! I'm by no means a big violence pusher, just trying to help through personal experience.

 

[slim6y]

Increase confidence decrease bullying - simple as that....

Unfortunatley some kids will never learn and will bully regardless, but increased confidence decreases the overall effect of bullying. It's the clearest easiest option in my mind.

Confidence doesn't have to be in the form of martial art of physical sport - though, clearly this is a suuitable option. It can be in the form of public speaking, acting, role playing etc. You have many options in a small community. But the best of them is to have friends on your side and then continue to develop the social skills on the side and the bullying disappears.

The added advantage of course to the physical confidence is the boy can a) defend himself and b) does something to keep himself active which these days is way more important than anything else with our modern lifestyles.

Good luck, let us know how you get on...

 

[Wrasse]

My daughter has been learning Martial arts since the age of 3. Her father is an instructor.

During her 5th primary year she was getting a lot of hassle from a group of boys, pushing her around and hurting her. She reported this to teachers and us and we in turn reported this to the headmaster, but nothing was done about it.

One day she came home with a huge bruise in her back and grazes on her face and when asked, informed us a boy had pushed her to the ground and knelt on her back. Yes, she had reported it and nothing had been done.

Her Father gave her permission to retaliate with martial art moves as she saw fit.

Two days later saw her Father and I being called into the headmasters office and he started to give us a dressing down about our daughter attacking a kid in the playground.

Her Father informed the headmaster that he had given her permission to defend herself against the bullies as she saw fit, and if the headmaster didn't like it, then perhaps he had better do something about these boys before she seriously hurt them.

She never had another problem.



Odessa, get your child into some sort of fitness/skill class and allow him to build some confidence. Even having just the confidence to stand up to the bullies can often be good enough.

 

[teddybear]

Hi

I have four children and an expert my no means. Every school has a district supervisor (probably a new name by now) ring education queensland and find out who looks after the school in your area and go straight to them. School principals and teachers have a duty of care - if they haven't helped go over their head and don't muck around with them. They will then see that you mean business.

The above comments are great too. Sport gives kids great confidence - the support you and your family are giving your children is invaluable and knowing that you are there for them is the best you can do for them.

Take care
Beth

 

[Miss B]

Definately try to nip it in the bud, some of the above suggestions I think are very good.

My older brother was bullied at school when he was about 7 or 8 years old, and I know it absolutely broke my mum's heart dropping him off every day - she felt like she was sending a lamb to the slaughter. He was picked on for the most ridiculous things, the colour of his hat for example. Bullies will find any reason to pick on other children. One child even grabbed him and smacked his head into the port racks when he was in Year 3, and another stabbed him in the stomach with a lead pencil as he walked by (the piece of lead broke off and could be seen lodged in his skin for years afterward). Being treated like this has long-lasting effects on bullied kids. My mum eventually transferred him to another school which was a major turning point for him, but I understand not everyone can do this.

My mum also put my brother and I into karate classes for confidence building.

It's really sad that your son is too scared to use his train stuff for fear of being bullied even further. The teaching staff do not sound very supportive at all - when my brother was having a hard time in school, my mum went to talk to the teacher and principal many times, only to discover that the teacher was also involved in the bullying :shock: :evil: For her, this was the straw that broke the camel's back and she removed both he and I from the school immediately.

Taking a snake to school is a really cool idea - I'd imagine most of the other boys would be fascinated by all things creepy and crawly. Certainly can't hurt to try, anyway.

I really hope it works out for you and your son. Let us know how he goes.

 

[ari]

Easily fixed.......get your solicitor to type up a letter.....do copies of the letter ( have them legal certified as copies)....send one to the Principle & get the other letters to be given to the parents of the bullies. That will fix it instantly as bullying, harrassment or victimisation in both the work place and school is illegal.

Furthermore it is very important as a parent to action these issues as what tends to happen is that the child will become withdrawn, lack motivation & may even feel sick at the thought of going to school......do not leave this and think it will sort its self out as sometimes it continues by the child says nothing. It can produce anti-social behaviour into adulthood also.

You are already doing the right thing by asking for advice.....go get them.

 

[Oldbeard]

Taking a snake or a bearded dragon to school is a great idea. Will give your boy a bit of confidence and some interest from other kids. It might not stop the bullying though. Any type of self defense is great as well. Teaching your son to stand up for himself with words is the best thing though. Give him some things to say. not name calling because that just brings him down to their level. Say things that an adult would say in that situation, things to make the bully think about what he is doing. Always have self defense to back it up though just in case
My daughter was having troubles at school and she yelled at the bully 'what is your problem. are you having issues at home are your parents fighting or do you just want some attention, everyone is having problems you don't have to take yours out on me. If picking on me makes you feel better than I am happy for you but I just feel sorry for you, and I hope you get some help soon.'
The bully didn't know what to say and ran off. he doesn't pick on her anymore but he is very quiet. She is trying to make friends with him and he is being a lot nicer to everyone. This might be a one off thing that something like that would work. She was in year 5 so its prob no help with younger ones.
Taking a reptile to school will definitely help with confidence though.

 

[Luke1]

geez, teach him teakwondo, and parkour

 

[Wrasse]

parkour

That way, when he runs away, it will look pretty...

 

[inthegrass]

Don't take any crap from the principle or the teacher. Make him aware that he is responsible in fixing this problem and if nothing is done you will be making a complaint with the Minister of Education.

it should be the responsibility of the school, being a small school it should be able to be fixed easily. does this school have a bullying program?. if not it should!!!!.
cheers.

 

[firedragon]

Some kids these days.....My daughter is 5, 6 tomorrow (yay) and she gets bullied by another girl in her class, it's been happening for the last 6mths, their solution is, put them in seperate classes next year... I dont see how that fixes the behaviour, this girl will always be a bully if they dont do something about her now