# Test anxiety - any advice would be appreciated



## pixie (Oct 22, 2010)

So, i had driving test #2 today, same deal as last time, got into the car with the tester, freaked out, cried, didn't leave vicroads and subsequently failed the test.

I have been seeing a psychologist since august to address my anxiety (which she 
believes I don't have) and have tried that flower rescue remedy stuff... clearly they didn't help. 

I was wondering if anyone had similar anxiety and what they did to address it
thanks
Kirsten


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## Teamsherman (Oct 22, 2010)

What are you anxious about? 

What symptoms do you feel when anxious? 

What do you fear could happen if you do get out on the road for your driving test?


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## Kristy_07 (Oct 22, 2010)

See a different psychologist. One that believes you. You had an anxiety attack, and probably lack basic life coping skills, and need some cognitive behavioural therapy to address this. 

It probably isn't a clinical disorder. It's a behavioural issue. 

Alternatively, you could see a psychiatrist, who can prescribe medications to help calm you in important moments like a driving test. 

Unfortunately, with anxiety, the solution to fixing it, eventually, is learning how to suck it up, and get on with the job anyway. It's a sucky answer, I know. But with time, you can get there with the right help. I'd suggest finding a better psychologist, and give yourself some time.


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## pixie (Oct 22, 2010)

I don't have any fear of doing the test, its the tester in the backseat who is watching me that makes me anxious, however, i chose not to do the test after i freaked out cause I did not feel like i'd have driven safely while crying and shaking, THEN the tester ended the test cause "i had taken too long"


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## Teamsherman (Oct 22, 2010)

Can you not have someone you know in the backseat or passenger seat too? Or is that against the rules?


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## pixie (Oct 22, 2010)

i had my instructor in the passenger seat, but the instructor is the only other person you can have in the car, if you go without an instructor the tester sits on the front seat


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## Kristy_07 (Oct 22, 2010)

You just have to make yourself think that if you can drive with your mum in the car, who is infinitely more important than your tester (, you can do it with him in the backseat. And even if you go with the tester, make a mistake, and fail, it doesn't make your situation worse because, if you don't take the test, you still don't have a licence 

I'm not trying to sound either harsh or condescending. It's just that it's about your head space, and getting it under control. Writing down positive affirmations, "I am a good driving and will pass the test", can be helpful, too.


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## Teamsherman (Oct 22, 2010)

Anxiety = Fear. 

Fear = False Emotions Appearing Real.

Head down, **** up, get the job done! Confidence is your best friend! ect ect.


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## pixie (Oct 22, 2010)

its so ****, i know i can drive, my instructor wont take me for lessons anymore cause she says i don't need them, i just can pass the test. My mum suggested my identical twin do the test for me, but thats not really addressing my issues at all...


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## nazza (Oct 22, 2010)

A few years ago I went through periods of really bad panic attacks related to driving. I have now taken a learner through their 100 hours (which I never thought I would be able to do) and ride a big motorcycle  
Part of what helped me get through it was to develop a set of coping mechanisms. These usually end up being unique to each person and often sound weird to others. It about working out tricks in your head that make you feel calmer. For instance I had a lot of trouble on the highways, the car always felt small and vulnerable. So I would pretend I was driving a truck lol. I would assume a posture and attitude and everything. It helped heaps. Hill starts were my other main issue.. I found singing helped. Plus even though I have never really believed in crystals I had a haematite stone I kept on my dash and would play with it when I was nervous. Its supposed to be relaxing and I talked myself into believing it.
There were other underlying issues that also made it worse which I dealt with but maybe something there will help.


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## Kristy_07 (Oct 22, 2010)

Again, sorry, but you'll just have to suck it up. You know you have the skills. Just spend the next week getting your head in the right space


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## pixie (Oct 22, 2010)

i wish i could just suck it up, i really do, but, its easier said than done and i'm far more anxious thinking about it now, knowing they can fail me for 'taking too long" while i'm having an anxiety attack...


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## Defective (Oct 22, 2010)

hey pixie!
i can completely understand what your talking about with the exception i'm never allowed to drive because i'm a epileptic. 
I to have a severe anxiety problem and here's how i see it: i over think to much. my anxiety comes from my fear of failure and satisfying everyone all at once...just not possible.

ill pM u


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## Snowman (Oct 22, 2010)

My wife suffers from anxiety. She went to a few shrinks, but in the end it was the GP who sorted her out. She takes a tablet in the morning, same as people who suffer from the chemical imbalance known as depression. Made a massive difference and she doesn't get anxiety attacks anymore... She has noted no side effects and I've noted that she is alot happier and anxious free 

Check this link 
http://www.anxietyaustralia.com.au/treatment/medication.shtml


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## Fantazmic (Oct 22, 2010)

I think you need to find yourself a new therapist. There are therapists and therapists....some good...some not so good...and sometimes you need to shop around until you find just the right person.

Look for someone who can take you through some mindfulness training....it is absolutely wonderful for anxiety.

it might be worth an internet search to find someone

Elizabeth


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## pixie (Oct 23, 2010)

Today has just gotten progressively worse, thanks for all your advice & support  kinda wish i could go home and be a kid again and not have to worry about any of this,


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## Stara (Oct 23, 2010)

I have anxiety issues to the point I've been off work for the last 3 months because I'd freak out every morning at the thought of going out in public! I take lamotrigine and it's been a huge help, going back to work next week yay!! 
I think you'd be better off finding a new psych though, you know the cause and just need someone to help you learn some coping strategies to get through it. A therapist who doesn't believe you is going to be of no help and it's a waste of time but trust me they're all very different, just keep trying til you find the one who makes you feel really good about yourself and positive that you'll get better


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## xxMelissaxx (Oct 23, 2010)

Kristy_07 said:


> Again, sorry, but you'll just have to suck it up. You know you have the skills. Just spend the next week getting your head in the right space


 
Easy for some to say...not the best advice going around.

Pixie: there are good psychologists and there are some that aren't so good. However, if your psychologist is stating that it doesn't appear to be an anxiety disorder, even after hearing all of your symptoms, then they should have some justification for this. They may be working towards something, so ask him/her all the questions you can to determine what they're thinking and how they plan to help you deal with it all.

If you find that you can't communicate effectively with them, then see someone else. There are many people out there suffering from this, and many people out there able to help you control it. You just have to find the right person.

If you need a good contact or anything, I may be able to help find someone in your area - shoot me a PM if you think about looking for another psychologist.

Good luck, I genuinely feel for you.


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## redbellybite (Oct 23, 2010)

go and get a funny party mask wether its an animal or character, ask the tester to put it on,(explain your nervousness,and tell them you will be most grateful)you will see them in the back and instead of crying and getting shakeeeeyyyyyyy .You can take one look have a laugh and get on with getting your test done and PASS ...its not that hard to do ..it just feels like it in the beginning ,you'll look back and think how silly was I ...goodluck and dont worry ..


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## pixie (Oct 23, 2010)

I think I'm going to go the "drug me to the eyeballs" method. my next test is 17th November and I NEED to pass it.


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## redbellybite (Oct 23, 2010)

pixie said:


> I think I'm going to go the "drug me to the eyeballs" method. my next test is 17th November and I NEED to pass it.


well thats even better add the mask with it and you can be ALICE IN WONDERLAND


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## pixie (Oct 23, 2010)

I really really didn't want drugs, I feel like I can manage most of my anxiety without them, BUT, theres only so many times friends will pick you up from work at 10:30 at night, and i seem to be spending half my wage on Taxis


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## Kristy_07 (Oct 23, 2010)

xxMelissaxx said:


> Easy for some to say...not the best advice going around.
> 
> Pixie: there are good psychologists and there are some that aren't so good. However, if your psychologist is stating that it doesn't appear to be an anxiety disorder, even after hearing all of your symptoms, then they should have some justification for this. They may be working towards something, so ask him/her all the questions you can to determine what they're thinking and how they plan to help you deal with it all.
> 
> ...


 
Melissa, sorry, but at the end of the day, anxiety is just a feeling, an indicator, and is caused by the perception of threat or danger. Why people have anxiety attacks is because they perceive a threat that isn't real - whether that be a driving test, getting in an elevator, going out in public, etc. The threat isn't real, but that doesn't mean that the anxiety isn't. At the end of the day, the methods a psychologist will give you to help overcome anxiety attacks all lead to the same conclusion - realising that the threat isn't real, and even if you feel the anxiety, you need "suck it up" and get on with the job anyway. That's how you ultimately conquer anxiety (unless you go down the drug path). At least, that what 6 years of therapy for anxiety attacks has taught me 

You'll notice I gave pixie the exact same advice about finding a different shrink that believes her and communicates more effectively, as well. 

Pixie, I think your psychologist maybe isn't doing their job, or the other possibility is that you've only been seeing her since August, and yours sounds like a fairly serious or acute case of anxiety atm. It takes time for therapy to work, and IMO, a couple of months isn't enough to fix this, so it makes sense that you're still struggling with it.

If you have to do your next test in Nov, ask your GP about a mild sedative to help you through it. No harm in that. But you don't want to get into the cycle of relying on benzos to help you through each and everyday, so I'd recommend continuing to see a counsellor, as well. I'd see her at least weekly or even twice a week until your next test, and discuss what you can do to calm your state of mind when you start to have an attack, and "precisely" what to be thinking when you get in the car to do your test 

I know it's tough, and I'm sorry if my previous came across as harsh, but at the end of the day, conquering anxiety comes down to YOU being in control of your state of mind, and even if that's in a state of mild fear, "sucking it up" and doing the job, anyway. Feel free to PM me for more info - I've got heaps 

I like RBB's idea, too


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## Snowman (Oct 23, 2010)

Link: View attachment 169215


What a load of CRAP kristy. Researchers have been studying the effects of anxiety on the brain and have found much insight into how it effects us. Modern studies indicate that as a result of past, present or perceived circumstances that occurred to an individual, a chemical imbalance may have occurred in the brain. The emotions we feel are based on the release and reuptake of neurotransmitters in the brain. This is how cells within the brain communicate. Feelings off anxiety are triggered by an imbalance of specific 'neurochemicals' in the brain. The specific neurotransmitters that may be affected include serotonin, norepinephrine, GABA and dopamine.

When it's the result of a chemical imbalance, saying "it's just a feeling get over it" is very ignorant and you may as well be telling a diabetic not to take insulin. I've had a family member kill themselves as a result of anxiety and depression, and it could have been avoided with the right medication. However like you, they were anti drugs for their problem. Their son suffers from it too and being put on meds has changed his life and fixed the imbalance. People llike you are what the anxiety and depression support groups are trying to change. That sort of negative mind set to what is really a physical problem with psychological symptoms. Anyone who knows someone who has been through this kind of thing would understand. There has been so much media coverage trying to get people to understand, perhaps google 'beyond blue'.... Your advise is dangerous to say the least. I'm not attacking you as a person, no doubt you are awesome, but your advice is vomit! Medication isn't like it was when people took prozac. It's come a long long way and the side effects are barely noticeable. Do doubt prozac is why so many people are negative about anti anxiety and depression medicine. 
beyondblue: the national depression initiative - What is an Anxiety Disorder?


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## Megzz (Oct 23, 2010)

pixie said:


> i had my instructor in the passenger seat, but the instructor is the only other person you can have in the car, if you go without an instructor the tester sits on the front seat


Maybe you should go without the instructor, just the assesor guy? Less audience the better.


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## xxMelissaxx (Oct 23, 2010)

Snowman said:


> Link: View attachment 169215
> 
> 
> What a load of CRAP kristy.




+1. Snowman, I agree that such opinions are totally ignorant, and people should not comment on topics such as these if they have no idea what they're talking about.

Kristy, you've stated a few times that you have done "half a psychology" degree. You're way off the mark with this one, so not sure what you actually studied, but telling someone suffering from this to "suck it up" is quite silly and certainly not productive or helpful.


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## Kristy_07 (Oct 23, 2010)

Snowman said:


> Link: View attachment 169215
> 
> 
> What a load of CRAP kristy. Researchers have been studying the effects of anxiety on the brain and have found much insight into how it effects us. Modern studies indicate that as a result of past, present or perceived circumstances that occurred to an individual, a chemical imbalance may have occurred in the brain. The emotions we feel are based on the release and reuptake of neurotransmitters in the brain. This is how cells within the brain communicate. Feelings off anxiety are triggered by an imbalance of specific 'neurochemicals' in the brain. The specific neurotransmitters that may be affected include serotonin, norepinephrine, GABA and dopamine.
> ...


 
Snowman, sorry to hear your family's predicament, and obviously, that experience would encourage you to have, and entitle you to have, strong feelings on the subject. I can't argue with those feelings, but even if we disagree, we're both allowed to have an opinion.

Your argument is very clinical, scientific, and chemically based. I'm well aware of the chemical causes of emotions and the reactions it can cause people to have. You're right, some people that suffer depression and anxiety certainly do so because of chemical imbalances in the brain, and the best option can be to take appropriate prescribed drugs. For others, anxiety and depression, even to the point of anxiety attacks, are because of a lack of coping skills and self-control of emotions and how they affect your behaviour. This can effectively be treated by cognitive behaviour therapy, and without the use of, or with very minimal use of anxiety medication or anti-depressents. 

My advice comes from a CBT background. Anxiety isn't a BAD emotion - it's a survival tactic. Anxiety is the emotion that allows us to perceive threats and dangers around us, which at times we need. In the "wild" world, it would be the precursor to, say, a fight or flight response. Anxiety itself isn't bad - it helps keep us alive! However, there are times when we perceive there to be a threat when there really isn't one, and therefore respond to it inappropriately. The anxiety/the emotion is still real, even if the threat isn't. This is the kind of situation where people can go into an "anxiety attack" - where the fear of a situation outweighs the threat itself. 

From a CBT perspective, the general idea in conquering an anxiety is to, a) recognise you are feeling anxious and acknowledge what you're feeling anxious about, b) recognise that the "threat" isn't actually a threat at all, but the you are wrongly perceiving it to be one, and finally (and the hardest bit!), c) behave accordingly to the threat (which isn't really a threat at all), despite the fact that you feel anxious. It isn't a matter of saying, "it's just a feeling, get over it", but if dealt with through CBT, it is a case of realising that you are able to feel an emotion like anxiety, recognise that that feeling may be misplaced or inappropriate, and behaving productively DESPITE the emotion. I can't be expected to put 6 years of learning into a post, so this as in depth as I'm going to go into it for now.

Taking mild sedatives or medication can initially make this new behaviour/thinking pattern easier to handle, for sure, which is why I told pixie that talking to her GP about this before her next driving test might be a good option. But, medication doesn't have to be the only way to treat depression/anxiety, and without tests done, it's impossible for any of us on here to tell whether pixie's anxiety is caused by a chemical balance or lack of coping skills. 

Pixie, if your anxiety is to the point where it is effecting you to the point that you can't function in your everyday life, then I would certainly recommend getting the necessary tests done to find out how you should treat it. 

In the meantime, I'm not going to be the one to tell you to go on benzos or zoloft, but I can tell you how anxiety can be treated effectively from a CBT point of view. As with all forums, it's up to you what you take from it or what you don't. 

Again, Snowman, I'm sorry to hear about your family situation, and I'm sorry that my differing opinion has offended you on a sensitive topic. Fair enough. All I can say in my defence is that my family has a history of acute anxiety/depression as well, and we have dealt with it effectively through CBT and naturopathy, as opposed to drugs.


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## Chris101 (Oct 25, 2010)

Hey Pixie,

Best of luck with your upcoming test.

I have been diagnosed with severe depression, GAD, social anxiety, panic attacks and OCD. 

I had tried CBT, talk therapy, and meds relating to my OCD and depression in the past. Other than the medication (SSRI's in particular prozac for depression and anafranil for ocd), nothing seemed to really help.

Up until a few months ago, I never experienced any anxiety other than from OCD. I found my self unemployed and struggling to find work. Even I managed to get an interview, I rarely showed up due to the intense pressure I felt. 

I came to the conclusion that I obviously need help and after going to a few psychologists got a referral to great psychiatrist. She discontinued the prozac and put me on to desvenlafaxine for the depression and alprazolm for the panic attacks and anxiety.

Within a week, alprazolm solved the majority of my anxiety issues. It does however come with quite a few side effects. That said, drugs were always my last resort but truly believe that they are beneficial.

You should obviously seek a doctors opinion and discuss the issues with them in detail. Your more than welcome to PM me if you want further details. 

Chris


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## anntay (Oct 26, 2010)

best of luck in November with your test. i also suffer PTSD, anxiety, and depression. i work in the disability field also. when doing your test get into the car take a couple of deep breaths look at your instructor and say right this is another lesson i can do this, forget about the person in the back or think of that person as a learning instructor that your teacher is teaching their job to. the peron in the back is not the tester. it may work. i had to pretend that my mum was not sitting beside me for a few times. 
this crap suck it up dont work. on the high way now i destract myself with music or the kids talking to talk my mind off my fear which causes the attacks. remember your not alone with this condition it is hard but treated right you will learn to control it and your pattern of thought. behaviour my ###. the behaviours are what we do because we have not fully got control of our condition. ive been to the lowest darkest parts of this disorder and got myself out and ask for help its hard long road but there is light at the end and happiness. practice your test sitting on your bed put objects in the positions of the other people talk your self through it every time you feel anxiety coming deep breaths talk through it again. anyways good luck you know you can do it your instructor knows you can do it so do it you can do it you can do it you can do anything hope these help


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## pixie (Oct 26, 2010)

chris101, I know your pain with Job interviews, the only time i'd go to a job interview was when my ex fiance drove me there and told me he wouldn't drive me home until i did it.. i was more afraid of being stuck there than i was facing strangers,.... I even asked him to come with me on my drive test, to make me do it


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## LullabyLizard (Oct 26, 2010)

Try acupuncture. That fixes everything!


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## pixie (Oct 26, 2010)

I had a really good acupuncturist/chinese herbalist, but I think he's left australia


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## Kristy_07 (Oct 26, 2010)

pixie said:


> I had a really good acupuncturist/chinese herbalist, but I think he's left australia


 
Maybe get onto one of the medical forums and see if anyone can point you in the right direction for another good one in your area?


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## pixie (Oct 26, 2010)

i kinda want to find mine and kidnap him. my mum used to drive from lorne to melbourne (2-3 hours each way) specifically to see him, we saw a few in geelong, but they weren't quite as good


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## Crystal..Discus (Oct 26, 2010)

pixie said:


> i kinda want to find mine and kidnap him. my mum used to drive from lorne to melbourne (2-3 hours each way) specifically to see him, we saw a few in geelong, but they weren't quite as good


 
If you're anything like my sister, then you're not going to do it unless there's a catalyst to get over those panic attacks. (then again, my sister is pathetic. She drove _in the wrong lane for 10 damn seconds before realizing it _and then started _crying._) 

What you can try doing is talking to your local Naturopath about the local acupuncturists and meditation/Qigong speciaists. Sound body, sound mind


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## Dipcdame (Oct 26, 2010)

Pixie, I had issues with strangers at the time I did my test, and would have freaked out if not for my doctor writing me a letter, allowing me to have a friend in the back seat. I could see her in the rear vision mirror the whole time, which helped. But a naughty tip I could give you, which I used, and worked for me, was to envisage the tester as though they had absolutely no clothes on............ let the imagination run wild, it sounds awful, but it takes away all the authority of the person, and the way my tester looked, he'd have been better suited to an undertakers job, long sombre face, which made the imagining all the more hilarious. My friend was in on the joke, and we giggled like a couple of schoolgirls for ages, even in front of him!!!!! Luckily he had no idea what was going through our minds!! LOL


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## pixie (Oct 26, 2010)

i can't have a person in the car with me, i have already asked vicroads about that, they are not willing to offer any way to make the test less likely to cause anxiety and would not even let me talk to my tester first. and I have tried the picturing people naked thing, but, it doesn't work, and i am still extremely anxious with them in the car, I have been prescribed valium for the next test and am doing it in a friends car so the tester is in the front seat, so they can't stare as much.


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## silatman (Oct 27, 2010)

Sorry for being an ignoramus, but is it legal to drive while under the influence of valium? Surely this would effect your response time and general alertness?????


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## nazza (Oct 27, 2010)

Not positive on Valium but with most prescription drugs it just says don't drive if you feel it may affect your driving.


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## pixie (Oct 27, 2010)

I'm gonna fiddle with the amount i have so that i am still able to function. and i've only been prescribed a TINY TINY dose. but at this stage it is looking like the only way for me to get my licence (aside from bribing my identical twin to commit fraud)


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## pixie (Oct 27, 2010)

If Vicroads had some kind of support in place for people with social anxiety I wouldn't be in this situation, I have explored all the options for getting my licence, sadly vicroads are being completely unreasonable about my situation and leaving me no option...


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## Ingrid (Oct 27, 2010)

Not meaning to sound disrespectful, but I think Vic Roads not bending their rules to allow you to have another person in the car during your test is a really good thing and ensures other people's safety on the road.

Sure, it may help alleviate your anxiety at the time of the test, but really.. what happens when you're in the next stressful situation on the road alone after you've passed your test? 

Perhaps until you can overcome your anxiety and address it to the point you can drive safely under pressure, you shouldn't have a license anyway. 

All the best with it though, hopefully it will all be sorted out for you in the near future!


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## jordo (Oct 27, 2010)

Pixie if your psychologist doesn't believe you then she isn't doing her job, see someone else (as the previous 20 posters before me have also suggested).

Kirsty and Snowman: You're both right. There are lots of different forms of depression and other mental illnesses and a scale of there severity. Every case needs to be treated individually and tailored to the individual person. As well as the chemical processes in our bodies our mental health is also effected by our upbringing and life-style. To put it simply some people just aren't taught to look after themselves and put others first all the time. I have a mate with severe depression and he is given simple steps to get his mind back on track, simple things like get out of bed in the morning, have a shower, go for a walk, eat breakfast. These simple steps just to train him to look after himself (whilst also taking pills as well). So treatment can often be both the drugs and addressing the behavioural and mind side of things

*At least that was what I thought you were arguing about :lol:

Given 1 in 5 people will suffer some form of mental illness in their lifetime it baffles me that institutions like Vic Roads aren't willing to accommodate for these people, it's discrimination... I know it's not your priority, but if you have the time submit a complaint on their service and treatment of you outlining what you had to go through to get your licence. You will get it! 

Disclaimer: I have no psychology degrees, or family history of mental illness. Feel free to shoot me down


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## Snowman (Oct 27, 2010)

Nope you are spot on Jordo. I know people taking meds are encouraged to also get the required councelling to help cope with their individual situations. Also exercise is a must for anyone suffering from depression... Though getting the energy to go for a run is a problem if you cant even get yourself out of bed.


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## PhilK (Oct 27, 2010)

Ingrid said:


> Perhaps until you can overcome your anxiety and address it to the point you can drive safely under pressure, you shouldn't have a license anyway.


 Exactly what I was thinking... if you get so anxious and stressed should you be on the road?

It really is all in your head though.. you've just got to "man up" and get over it (excuse the harshness). Just ask yourself what's the worst that can happen? The worst that can happen is you fail and try again later.. no big deal. Chill.


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## Kristy_07 (Oct 27, 2010)

Ingrid said:


> Not meaning to sound disrespectful, but I think Vic Roads not bending their rules to allow you to have another person in the car during your test is a really good thing and ensures other people's safety on the road.
> 
> Sure, it may help alleviate your anxiety at the time of the test, but really.. what happens when you're in the next stressful situation on the road alone after you've passed your test?
> 
> ...



Ingrid, I think that the anxiety pixie is suffering is related to being "watched" and under "test condition", as opposed to the actual driving part, which I would interpret to mean that she isn't a danger on the roads, even in a high pressure situation, because that's not what her anxiety is about. It's about fear of failure (I'm guessing, pixie  ) or at least, the fear of someone watching and judging what she's doing. So, it's a bit like comparing someone with a fear of heights vs someone with a fear of spiders. I understand where you're coming from, but if the anxiety isn't actually based on her driving on the roads or any of those skills involved, then it shouldn't affect her abilities to drive on the road safely. 



jordo said:


> Pixie if your psychologist doesn't believe you then she isn't doing her job, see someone else (as the previous 20 posters before me have also suggested).
> 
> Kirsty and Snowman: You're both right. There are lots of different forms of depression and other mental illnesses and a scale of there severity. Every case needs to be treated individually and tailored to the individual person. As well as the chemical processes in our bodies our mental health is also effected by our upbringing and life-style. To put it simply some people just aren't taught to look after themselves and put others first all the time. I have a mate with severe depression and he is given simple steps to get his mind back on track, simple things like get out of bed in the morning, have a shower, go for a walk, eat breakfast. These simple steps just to train him to look after himself (whilst also taking pills as well). So treatment can often be both the drugs and addressing the behavioural and mind side of things
> 
> ...



Agree with you, jordo. I think Snowman and I were simply arguing the two sides of the same coin. 



Snowman said:


> Nope you are spot on Jordo. I know people taking meds are encouraged to also get the required councelling to help cope with their individual situations. Also exercise is a must for anyone suffering from depression... Though getting the energy to go for a run is a problem if you cant even get yourself out of bed.



Snowman, as above - I think we are just looking at the same problem from two different pathways to a solution. I totally agree with you about the exercise, though, and about the difficulties of getting into a routine when you are in the cycle of depression. Hard - no other way to put it. 



PhilK said:


> Exactly what I was thinking... if you get so anxious and stressed should you be on the road?
> 
> It really is all in your head though.. you've just got to "man up" and get over it (excuse the harshness). Just ask yourself what's the worst that can happen? The worst that can happen is you fail and try again later.. no big deal. Chill.


 
Watch out, Phil! I said this on page one - but Snowman's original post made me realise that it isn't a very sensitive solution in this case. "manning up/sucking it up" (same same?) is at the END of the road of someone suffering anxiety. As in, they know what they need to do behaviour/medication-wise etc to stop the anxiety attack from accelerating, and behave through the emotion and stay on track. When someone knows how to do that, they are the audience that can be told that what they're anxious about isn't real, "suck it up", and do the job, anyway. But, if someone ISN'T at that stage, then telling them to "man up" doesn't actually help them, and probably just makes them feel really sucky. 

I know this is totally contradictory to what I said to pixie originally, but after talking to her a bit further, and really considering Snowman's post, I realised that even I wasn't taking into account the scale of emotional health people can be on and that's there are different solutions for different people at different points on the scale. Ta, for opening my eyes that bit further


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## Dipcdame (Oct 27, 2010)

I think whats happening here is that a few seem to be confusing anxiety with depression. Pixie asked advice on how to overcome the anxiety they feel when undergoing their test. All the rhetoric about depression and medications arent going to do them one iota of good. 

Sorry to hear about your reltive Snawman, can't be a good thing. But all this is through depression.

Anxiety attacks are more superficial, although so very real and overwhelming at the time, but can be overcome by taking a deep breath, counting to three, gritting the teeth and just doing it, perhaps that what you were talking about Kirsty? 

Pixie, however you get through this, don't let this thread put you off and make your problem seem more than it is, it isn't, try some form of mediTation, not mediCation, you'll find it can help a lot too. Good luck.


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## Snowman (Oct 27, 2010)

Anxiety can be very closely related to depression. That is why beyond blue addresses both. It's okay not to be informed about such things. But have a read of their web site if you have the time http://www.beyondblue.org.au/index.aspx?link_id=89.578
Pixie did say that she thinks that she suffers some form of depression. Which isn't surprising since 1 in 5 females and 1 in 8 males will get depression in their lifetime....


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## pixie (Oct 27, 2010)

just to clarify. I am NOT anxious about driving, i have issues with strangers, especially strangers who are judging me, 9 out of 10 job interviews I have been offered I never went to because I can not handle strangers, I don't have housemates cause when they brought their friends over I ended up in tears in my room.. my depression is made worse by the fact that when I need to go grocery shopping etc I have to rely on friends to find time for me and a lot of the time i feel very trapped where I am. I'm also very good at getting myself so worked up about the lack of independance, the fact if i dont get my licence i can't go to uni, etc that I sometimes don't see a point to anything. 

I am seeing a psychologist and having CBT - but in the meantime my GP and I both think that in the scheme of things 1-2mg of valium before a drive test is no big deal...

and Dipcdame - I have tried deep breaths and counting to three, but by the time i had calmed myself down to the point of feeling like i'd drive safely, the vicroads chick said i had taken too long and she had to end the test.


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## pixie (Oct 27, 2010)

Maybe you're all right, and i just shouldn't drive at all...... Might cancel the next test


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## PhilK (Oct 27, 2010)

That's really upsetting for you Pixie.. sounds like you definitely need a shrink - a NEW one. How do you go to uni? Isn't the uni full of strangers? What about just generally going out in public? Meeting new friends? These aren't smart a*** questions I'm quite curious.

PS: I only meant you shouldn't drive if you are prone to anxiety but if it isn't related to driving go for it.


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## pixie (Oct 27, 2010)

PhilK, I will probably freak out at uni, and have no doubt i'll end up in tears when faced with a prac test, but i'm having CBT so hopefully by the time i start uni i'll have some coping skills. Going out in public isn't too bad, except if its really crowded... I don't really make new friends, I really struggle talking to people I don't know.


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## Dipcdame (Oct 28, 2010)

Snowman said:


> Anxiety can be very closely related to depression. That is why beyond blue addresses both. It's okay not to be informed about such things. But have a read of their web site if you have the time beyondblue: the national depression initiative - Types of Depression
> Pixie did say that she thinks that she suffers some form of depression. Which isn't surprising since 1 in 5 females and 1 in 8 males will get depression in their lifetime....


 
Maybe so, but Depression is NOT a symptom of Anxiety. A lot of the time, anxiety is just that, anxiousness, just like Pixie just said. A number of people are talked into believing they are depressed when they aren't.

Yes, it's ok not to be informed, but I hope that wasn't a reference to myself. I speak from 33 years of experience with these debilitating ilnesses, probably a lot longer than you have lived, and certainly far longer than Beyond Blue has existed. I have read their site many times, but found better resources on other websites. It's not the be-all and end- all of everything to do with mental illness Snowman.

Now, so as not to go off topic on this, Pixie, don't give up, the secret to success is getting up one time more than you fall down, so stick with it lass, don't let anyone convince you that you can't do it, you have the ability, obviously, otherwise you wouldn't be at thestage you are, ready to take the test. Remember, once the half hour session is over, that's it, you're out the other end with a whole new aspect to your life. You have had the strength to get this far, I'm sure you have enough to get you the rest of the way.


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## Snowman (Oct 28, 2010)

Agreed.. and no I'm older than 33 sadly. Anxiety can be a symptom of depression though. As stated earlier she has depression too. Naturally I'm passionate about the topic and that passion can lead to blindness of a bigger picture. My sister is a psychologist too, and we have had lengthy discussions on the subject due to our family history.. However as stated that before, Kristy and I had opposing views but both were correct really. In the end all I want is to see Pixie be able to lead an "normal" life. And there is medicine and therapyavailable to give her that. 
My pet hate is people thinking that "suck it up princess" is an answer to mental illness. You'd never tell an athsmatic to just suck it up and breath properly.


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## Kristy_07 (Oct 28, 2010)

I think it's easy from looking at a number of posts on this thread to see how debatable and multi-faceted this topic really is, as with all forms of mental illness. It's easy for topics like this to get out of hand, because there are so many sides to it, and people have as many differing opinions about it as exist. 

pixie, you started this thread ready and almost able to do your driving test - don't let a couple of negative posts affect your self confidence. You are ready to do your driving test, and your GP has given you a small tool to help cope with the pressure you feel with a stranger in the car. A couple of mgs of valium won't affect you to the point that you can't drive or don't have the reflexes needed, but it will relax your nervous system so you can cope. IMO, you're doing the right thing by continuing the counselling, and the confidence you'll receive from getting your licence will help your self-esteem, as well. So, keep the appointment for the test you've made, and good luck  

Snowman, I agree with you about your point about asthmatics  And, I agree with you applying it to depression and anxiety, and how my poorly-written initial response would have sounded like that's exactly what I was saying. But, in actuality, I have a very good understanding of problems with anxiety, and, at the end of the line, the way to conquer anxiety through therapy and coping and controlling your own emotions (not relying on medication) is to acknowledge what you're feeling anxious about, and behave "normally" despite what you're feeling. In my mind, I call this "sucking it up" (when listening to my internal dialogue). I definitely did not mean to imply that depression/anxiety isn't a real disease or problem, and the OP just needed to suck it up and stop being precious, but I can see how that's how I could have been interpreted. I hope that makes sense.

pixie, if you want anymore help with the CBT stuff, please PM me. At this point, I think it's best to wrap the conversation up, at least for me.

Cheers, K


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## pixie (Oct 28, 2010)

Thanks for all the support guys


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## pixie (Oct 28, 2010)

On a side note I'm feeling pretty good today, I got out of bed before lunchtime, did some gardening (my GP told me i need to spend a little bit of time each day outside, and prescribed me a veggie garden as motivation to be outside), and then... I mowed my front yard & nature strip for the first time. (weird little achievement, but mowing where people can see me makes me MEGA uncomfortable) anyway, i just felt the need to share my little accomplishment, cause today, it made me feel pretty good


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## shellfisch (Oct 28, 2010)

pixie said:


> i just felt the need to share my little accomplishment, cause today, it made me feel pretty good



Good for you Pixie


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## Kristy_07 (Oct 28, 2010)

pixie said:


> ... mowing where people can see me makes me MEGA uncomfortable...



I get really anxious about ringing up and ordering pizza - don't know why :lol: weird, eh? Good on you for feeling good, today!


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## pixie (Oct 28, 2010)

Kristy_07 said:


> I get really anxious about ringing up and ordering pizza - don't know why :lol: weird, eh? Good on you for feeling good, today!


 

online pizza ordering is the best


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## pixie (Oct 28, 2010)

oh, i never used to phone my friends if they didn't have mobile phones - in case their parents answered the phone  I also never phoned to order pizza, but now, cause of work I HAVE to talk on the phone a lot (to doctors) and I've slowly been able to phone up for pizza etc, That, and now that I'm single I can't just make my fiance phone for pizza. Living alone has made me face a lot of my fears, and made it so i HAD to learn to drive... I should probably thank him..


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## sammy_sparkles (Oct 28, 2010)

thats really good to hear pixie, little things like that can make a huge difference. 
iv suffered from depresstion for many years, and although i never had a problem with anxiety, something my dr made me do that may be good for you too, if youre not already, keep a mini diary and each morning and evening rate how you are feeling 0 - 10(bad -good) and make a little note as to why you are feeling that way, eg. this morning i give an 8 because i mowed my front yard for the first time. and it might sound childish but you can even use star stickers on really good days.


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## pixie (Oct 28, 2010)

good idea Sammy, I think i'll get myself a gold star for effort, even tho the mowing is wonky and I missed bits


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## pixie (Nov 19, 2010)

An update on my driving - did test #3 yesterday, decided i didn't want valium cause i was driving a family friends car.... i did the whole test, she said id passed... THEN i mounted the curb coming back into vicroads - they call it a "collision" which is an instant fail.... I haven't stopped crying, and i threw my L's in the bin...


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## Kristy_07 (Nov 19, 2010)

Mate, focus on the positives! You got through the ENTIRE TEST WITHOUT VALIUM OR HELP!!! Mounting the curb at the end is nothing - it's a mistake anyone and everyone has made at some stage! EVERYONE! So don't worry about that part, you got through the entire thing, didn't need help, didn't have a panic attack, and PASSED!!! 

Good job mate!  Go grab your L's and book yourself another test - next time will be the one


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## pixie (Nov 19, 2010)

Mum booked me another one, 23rd december...


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## nazza (Nov 19, 2010)

Fourth times a charm! Plus thats my birthday.. its gotta be lucky lol.


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## pixie (Nov 19, 2010)

I'd better pass on the 23rd - im working christmas day and the buses don't run


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## Kristy_07 (Nov 19, 2010)

You'll be fine, mate  Like I said - you passed this test! It's just unfortunate the instructor was still in the car when you mounted the curb  5 mins later, and no one from vicroads would have been the wiser! I still mount the curb on a fairly regular basis - good thing I have a 4WD


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## pixie (Nov 19, 2010)

you would think, knowing my history (we told her about it before test and she told her boss she'd be late back so they didnt end the test for me crying for too long) that she could have shown a smidgen of compassion.... and ignored it....


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