# What's the closest you've come to doing yourself a mischief?



## CHEWY (Feb 20, 2012)

After a long, miserable day at work, I got home, got undressed and just wanted to relax.
First, a quick check of the animals. 

Bummer, my female Scrub Python had emptied out, impartial slough and snapped her globe.
(Not what I needed aft my day)

Now, generally she's well behaved, (at worst, throws a coupe of bluff shots while she's in her cage) but at 4.5m, I always have my guard up around her or her mate.
Today, I opened her door and she dived under the door and rushed me. I've jumped back 4 ft, run out of room and she snagged me. 
At this stage I must state that I'm only wearing my boxers. The old fella felt a bit of movement and the big girl has taken a mouth full of my pants.

After restraining her, and regaining my composure. I've walk outside to get the Mrs to get me another pair of pants, and help me put them on after taking off the pair that was currently engaged in a game of tug o' war.

It took me quite some time to get her off my arm










and she definitely wasn't giving up her prize.
Even after she went in the bin proudly displaying what she had stolen.
In the end, I fought it off her as I didn't want her to swallow it.





I fully know how lucky I am, and the implications if I had 1cm less room to jump back.
He's a pic of her accuracy, pretty good considering it was a small target.






What incidents have you had that have nearly needed severe surgery to maintain your better functioning?


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## grannieannie (Feb 20, 2012)

OH MY GAWD..... that animal is huge......!!!!


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## notechistiger (Feb 20, 2012)

That is absolutely hilarious. You're very lucky! haha


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## browny (Feb 20, 2012)

:shock: OMG that is about as lucky as you can hope for don't bother getting lotto tickets for a little while 


I've been pretty dam lucky I have no bad stories......so far


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## JUNGLE-JAK (Feb 20, 2012)

is that pee or the snake bite, lol, beatiful little snake

and one that i had was my black head wrapped around my neck and started putting on the squeeze, think it was because she thought she would fall, but she is big, look at my profile pic if you wanna see her.


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## reptileKev81 (Feb 20, 2012)

OMG! I cannot believe how close that beast sized animal came to de-jewelling you!
Thanks for sharing, and congrats at dodging the bullet.


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## Khagan (Feb 20, 2012)

She's a bit big for pinkies now isn't she?  hahaha.


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## Colin (Feb 20, 2012)

thats an awesome story and you even had pics


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## Wild~Touch (Feb 20, 2012)

Absolute classic gold....funniest thing I've seen in ages...thanks for the laugh

Glad you're OK tho, it coulda been gruesome


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## Ally04 (Feb 20, 2012)

Nice aim. Very nice snake. How heavy is she?


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## PMyers (Feb 20, 2012)

Mate, that last shot is a corker! Glad you had a back story to that


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## Darlyn (Feb 20, 2012)

What a cracker! Great story great pics, poor scrubbie no souvenir!


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## nico77 (Feb 20, 2012)

That's so lucky you got back quick enough , could have ended really bad :/ might need to start wearing a box when tending to her


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## Wrightpython (Feb 20, 2012)

Note to everyone dont handle snakes while nearly naked, they always go for the hottest part, your lucky she missed the old fella as it would be hard to explain to the missus


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## Sezzzzzzzzz (Feb 20, 2012)

bahahahaha! i dont know what else to say....


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## GSXR_Boy (Feb 20, 2012)

Glad you didn't show us the back of those jocks, i'm sure there would have been some skiddies for sure lol


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## Red-Ink (Feb 20, 2012)

Lol


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## jahan (Feb 20, 2012)

A 4.5m extension would have made you popular with the girls.
Great story.


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## Renenet (Feb 20, 2012)

:lol: You'll be telling that story for years. That is a classic.


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## Fuscus (Feb 20, 2012)

I didn't know snakes eat frank and beans :shock:


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## nagini-baby (Feb 20, 2012)

bet you needed new jocks after that.... but seriously rotfl!


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## waruikazi (Feb 20, 2012)

That is so win.


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## J-A-X (Feb 20, 2012)

I just love the fact that she looks so please with herself !


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## DanNG (Feb 20, 2012)

Bahaha. Think I'm going to go out and buy a box tomorrow


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## Renenet (Feb 20, 2012)

For all those blokes wanting to go out and buy a box, Google the word "codpiece"...


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## Sezzzzzzzzz (Feb 20, 2012)

jaxrtfm said:


> i just love the fact that she looks so please with herself !



gold!


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## abnrmal91 (Feb 20, 2012)

That would have made for an interesting hospital trip. Don't know if the doctors would believe you or just think you had a fetish for blenders.


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## grannieannie (Feb 20, 2012)

Renenet said:


> For all those blokes wanting to go out and buy a box, Google the word "codpiece"...



Well...LOL...I couldn't help myself...I had to check it out..... Ohhhhhh Ahhhhhh ...... just goes to show you can learn something every day :lol: I've never heard of a.... codpiece .... shows what sort of a sheltered life I've lead !!


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## J-A-X (Feb 20, 2012)

Haven't you ever watched a Shakespeare play or a ballet and wonder why the fellas all looked so well "packed and tidy" grannie ? You sure have led a sheltered life!


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## vampstorso (Feb 21, 2012)

love the photo in the bin! looks so cheeky!


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## Darlyn (Feb 21, 2012)

Soooo... you shed and she shed, syncronised shedding how sweet.


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## miss_mosher (Feb 21, 2012)

Hahaha your crap day just madeira e awesome 

Made mine* bloody autocorrect ...


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## Bandit05 (Feb 21, 2012)

Thats a classic , should have been named Who wears the pants in this family " The Scrubby does " lmao
Glad your ok


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## grannieannie (Feb 21, 2012)

Jaxrtfm said:


> Haven't you ever watched a Shakespeare play or a ballet and wonder why the fellas all looked so well "packed and tidy" grannie ? You sure have led a sheltered life!



Well yes I have seen those sort of things and I know they're for protection and I believe cricketers call them boxes...I think my son had one when he was a kid....but I didn't know they were called....codpieces !!! And the ones I saw on Google were certainly quite....well, different !!! :lol:


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## Bel03 (Feb 21, 2012)

:shock: Wow u are very lucky to be still waking as a man today!!  They are absolute awesome shots, & what a girl hey, perfect striking accuracy........id invest in a guard or even just a ski suit for next time!!


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## Nighthawk (Feb 21, 2012)

abnrmal91 said:


> That would have made for an interesting hospital trip. Don't know if the doctors would believe you or just think you had a fetish for blenders.



"What seems to be the problem?"
"My trouser snake appears to be acting up... there's a lot of itching, and some burning..."


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## tarzans_girl (Feb 21, 2012)

haha! I actually have tears of laughter - sorry! Great story, what a formidable snake! Glad you are ok.


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## moosenoose (Feb 21, 2012)

Great read! hahahahaha


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## MathewB (Feb 21, 2012)

Is this why your username is Chewy?


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## CHEWY (Feb 21, 2012)

Cheers guys, 

It may have made me look a fool, but I can see the funny side (after the initial "am I still there" check was done in the affirmative) and that's why I thought it was too good not to share.

As for a cod piece, I think I might use sex machines from "Dusk till Dawn"
From Dusk 'till Dawn - Sex Machine - YouTube




abnrmal91 said:


> That would have made for an interesting hospital trip. Don't know if the doctors would believe you or just think you had a fetish for blenders.


I think the end product would be very similar, though in this case, I don't think it would be quite as tidy. I had my mind more set on a sinkerator or the thresher that finished Dolph Lungren at the end of Universal Soldier.




Jaxrtfm said:


> I just love the fact that she looks so please with herself !



Noice

Can't believe no one mentioned that my pants look like a happy ending..... that I can continue to have happy endings.


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## AirCooled (Feb 21, 2012)

Two male pythons will always fight no matter the size difference


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## CHEWY (Feb 21, 2012)

Wow,
now it may seem strange that I hadn't checked earlier, but yesterday I was busy fighting the big girl off, and today, I've been at work since before the sun was up.
Guess what, finally did a check after my last post, 

YEP, SHE GOT ME.

A 1mm scratch on a vein with 5mm bruising. It just got a little closer.
Really counting my lucky starts now.
I ask my wife if adding a photo would constitute as inappropriate. Although I disagree, she said it was.


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## abnrmal91 (Feb 21, 2012)

Don't think we need to see anymore pics lol


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## J-A-X (Feb 21, 2012)

CHEWY said:


> Cheers
> 
> Noice
> 
> Can't believe no one mentioned that my pants look like a happy ending..... that I can continue to have happy endings.



I was going to mention something a long the lines of "I didn't think pythons salivated so please explain the wet spot" but I thought you may have been a little more frightened than you were going to admit and I wasn't going to embarrass you 

If you post your latest pic I'm sure I can come up with a suitable speech bubble for it....... On 2nd thought please don't.... We could both end up in the naughty corner


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## Dragonwolf (Feb 21, 2012)

OMG... I laughed so hard that my 13yr old came running in to see what the commotion was. I showed him the pics and I can't tell you what he said about the last pic for fear of getting an infraction.


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## Nighthawk (Feb 21, 2012)

Your undies pic totally made my husband cross his legs. _I _crossed my legs after your post about the 1mm scratch... so... how far out your rear is your stomach hanging after discovering that one...?


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## mattyg (Feb 24, 2012)

soooooo glad i actually read the story before seeing that last pic


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## disintegratus (Feb 25, 2012)

I couldn't help but think...
"A little less teeth please love!!"

And as for your war wound...
"'Tis but a scratch!"

Congratulations are in order though, you are a very lucky man, and almost a very unlucky not-quite-the-man-he-used-to-be.


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## mungus (Feb 25, 2012)

That last photo suggests that you did more than just **** yourself.......:lol:


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## Grogshla (Feb 25, 2012)

hahaha dude you are sooo lucky. 
Great story!


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## CHEWY (Feb 25, 2012)

Thanks all. 
Heres a pic for size comparison.


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## miss_mosher (Feb 25, 2012)

Jeebus it's HUGE!


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## Nighthawk (Feb 25, 2012)

STOP POINTING THAT THING TOWARDS YOUR CROTCH! Jeeze you're asking for another one! 

She's gorgeous btw!


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## CHEWY (Feb 25, 2012)

That's an older photo. No colour in the tat.


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## Nighthawk (Feb 25, 2012)

I was just kidding Chewy, I'd noticed the tattoo discrepancy before lol (I love colour use in tats, and yours is pretty nice). She's still gorgeous though, definitely serious about that. Scrubbies are such impressive pythons. Even though they're a little too much for me personally I still love to look at them


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## sarah_m (Feb 25, 2012)

Glad to see you have learnt from the experience and now have pants on


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## CHEWY (Feb 25, 2012)

She looks nice after a slough, a bit blue in the full body shot.

Sarah, pants are still optional.


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## disintegratus (Feb 25, 2012)

I'm sorry, I can't help it...

Meh, I've seen bigger.

Really though, she is a stunning girl


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## cwebb (Feb 25, 2012)

My friend (who also has snakes) came over and we were talking about my bigger bredli and whether i should put him up a food size.. so i had the frozen rat which was clearly too big, next to his head for comparison. nek minnit my snake has grabbed at the rat and started to wrap around my wrist. I freaked and ran to the sink and held his head under the running water until he let go of the rat. he finally let go but by this point he was really worked up and keen to find this rat again.. and of course my hand smelt like rat so that was next on the menu and he launches for my hand, misses and tries again, this time grabbing my coles workshirt hahahaha. i let him hold my shirt until i got him off my wrist, then worked him off my shirt.
Whole ordeal lasted probably 3 mins and was very scary and silly of me haha. was awesome to feel how hard they constrict but..


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