# You know it's not going to end well...but you do it anyway.



## vampstorso (Aug 5, 2011)

Ever had one of those times when...you know what you're doing probably isn't the BEST idea, but you continue to do so, only to soon cop the consequences you knew were coming?

Was just cutting carrots for a roast, and I did one on a funny angle, had a conscious thought I should just stop and re-position it...but had a typical "nahhh she'll be right, mate!" moment...and sliced fairly deeply into my finger instead!....hmmm...new and improved meat-eater friendly carrots anyone? 

Photo doesn't look too bad, this is when the bleeding has slowed! gone through a fair few tissues and bandaids...not a bad effort, if I do say so myself! It's a lot deeper than it looks, as I didn't think it was too bad until I cleared the blood and had a nice look! My old man is a nurse btw, so it's being taken care of!









So, what silly things have you done, perhaps knowing it was a silly idea only to have common sense come and belt you clean in the face for it?!
I don't just mean silly drunken stories btw!


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## Wally (Aug 5, 2011)

I was rock fishing with a mate when he hooked a good size Port Jackson shark. Given we were about two meters above water level it meant I had to climb down to drag the thing out the water. Just as I grabbed it by the tail a decent size wave came over both myself and said shark. Net result was me laying in a shallow rock pool with one aggrieved shark and a broken wrist, and it was a 2km hike back over rocks and cliffs to get back to the car, followed by a 40min drive to hospital. I knew I should have made him cut the bugger loose!


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## J-A-X (Aug 5, 2011)

As I was reading I thought to myself that it's been ages since I did anything that came back to slap me in the face ........ Now let's see how long before that thought comes back and bites me in the butt! !

* mental note to self... Be super careful with the powertools in the shed over the weekend


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## LullabyLizard (Aug 5, 2011)

Sneaking in to the beach when it was closed because the surf was so rough... "We'll be fine!". Ha ha ha... I still have the scars from that day


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## sarah_m (Aug 5, 2011)

When I was about 12 I took the dog (lab x greyhound) for a walk in my rollerskates. We got to the hill just before my driveway and I briefly considered taking them off and carrying them the rest of the way, but skates are heavy....... so I just went for it.
It ended in tears when the dog started running and I left 60cm long skid marks on the road with the skin of my knees!


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## CrystalMoon (Aug 5, 2011)

Deciding to use friends Mothers pushy even though it had no brakes, and going down the steepest hill in the city :shock:
nearly collecting a few cars along the way and ending up in the shrubbery in some random yard.... I wound up with
sticks and leaves spouting from every where... and quite a lot of my own bark off lol..........


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## grannieannie (Aug 5, 2011)

Getting things out of the oven and not using oven mitts and getting a nasty burn.....can't remember how often that's happened over the years....................at my age you'd think I'd have learned !!!


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## vampstorso (Aug 5, 2011)

grannieannie said:


> Getting things out of the oven and not using oven mitts and getting a nasty burn.....can't remember how often that's happened over the years....................at my age you'd think I'd have learned !!!



I have so many burns on my arms from this..and not opening the door all the way and just sticking my arm against the top of the oven!


LOL at the shark story! Jackons are beautiful at least! 



sounds like everybody has put in a good effort with ignoring common sense! keeps life interesting, eh?


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## Kimberlyann (Aug 5, 2011)

Dropping a knife and grabbing it while falling, u realise while ur doing it that u shouldnt but u still do :\


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## Fiamma (Aug 5, 2011)

Brand new gardening shears and thinking I should not be holding the towel this way to wipe them. Sliced through the towel and started on my palm. My Son was, "what's wrong Mum? You ok?" Nothing, nothing all ok...quick get me a clean towel )


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## Chris1 (Aug 5, 2011)

something that never endds well, but i seem to keep doing over and over,..is hand feeding the beardies 'slippery' treats such as strawberry or banana, they get a small piece each week which i dunk in calcium as their supplement.

they know its slippery and need to overbite, so i watch them line it up with the intention of timing it well enough to keep my fingers in one piece, i did well with 6 of them yesterday, my big male missed the first time, so his second shot was a major overbite which left my finger bleeding for most of the morning,...no doubt it will happen all over again next week!


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## mad_at_arms (Aug 5, 2011)

Was using a 4 inch grinder with a sanding pad on, cleaning up some welds on a computer bench my brother made up out of stuff lying around. The grinder kicked back and hit me on the chest, so lucky it wasn't a cutting disc. Got pulled over for no seatbelt 2 days later and drove away free as a bird when I showed the officer my chest.


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## grannieannie (Aug 5, 2011)

Many , many years ago when my older brother was just a little bloke...he's 65 now...he and another brother were mowing our lawn with one of those old fashioned push along mowers....well...one pushed and the other one...picked up grass and fed it into the blades.....yep...you guessed it...he chopped the top of his thumb off.


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## cement (Aug 5, 2011)

Yeah! That's a good idea for a thread, there was this one time I was in a rush to finish some carpentry on a job and my thumb went into the electric planer, pretty well just after i thought to myself that i should just put the little bit of wood down and do it right instead of holding it the way i did.
But I was cutting firewood a couple of days ago and it seems ok to hold small bits of tree with the foot, because though I had my doubts, when the chainsaw bounced back and went into the bottom of my boot, I was covered. On;y just mentioned that to Mrs Cement and she said please keep wearing boots.... and maybe a groin guard!!


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## ekipkcorb (Aug 5, 2011)

\ever flip a bike upside down when you were a kid and try and spin the wheel as fast as you possibly could with ya hands ? me and my brother were doing that and he somehow managed to get his finger caught in between the sprocket and the chain. i freaked out and did what any caring brother would do and grabbed his hand and pulled  not such a great idea. "degloved" his finger from the knuckle down all the way to the bone. this happened down the park at the time and mum still managed to hear the screams lol. yeah but bit of plastic surgery and was all good


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## Mighty_Moose (Aug 5, 2011)

The only thing that I know isn't going to end well and do it anyway, is when you get that bit of loose skin on your finger nails.. and instead of cutting it off.. you decide to tear it... I know its going to end up with me with a bleeding finger and it being sore for a week.. but I still continue..


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## grannieannie (Aug 5, 2011)

My mother used to tell me the story of a little boy and girl she knew....MANY years ago. They were just little kids and playing with an axe....the little girl put her hand down on the chopping block and dared the boy to cut her fingers off.....and so....HE DID !!! Don't know how many he cut off...but he did it !!


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## Kelly86 (Aug 5, 2011)

mines an embarrasing one lol. i was wearing long baggy trackies that were falling down but my hands were full and i had to go down the stairs... i KNEW i would fall but went downstairs anyway, i steped on my pant-leg, fell to my knees and slid all the way down the stairs on my shins, pants came off on the way down lol and i broke four toes..... boyfriends mate stood at the bottom of the stairs watching in shock


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## Renenet (Aug 5, 2011)

Ow. I've been reading these stories and wincing in sympathy. 

I had a really stupid moment with a Stanley knife in Art and Craft class once. I positioned the knife where I wanted to begin the cut, pressed hard against the top of the blade with my forefinger - only to discover it was upside down and the business end of the knife had sliced very deeply into my finger thanks to the strength of the enthusiasm with which I'd begun to cut. It took a while to begin to bleed and then hurt; when it did, the intensity of both was impressive.

I remember thinking before I began the cut that I should've checked, but I didn't. Needless to say, I've never made that particular mistake again...


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## Chrisy (Aug 5, 2011)

I used to be a bakers assistant, loved it.

So any way one morning just at work having a great time as you do (laughing listening to music & chatting) 

Baker at the oven behind me pulls bread trays out of oven & puts them on the knock out bench just behind me, I had just been putting the icing on the cakes, heard the trays come out behind me so I have spun around (like normal) not thinking picked up the tray and went to knock the bread out on the bench so that they could be put in the rack, aaaahhhhhhh fffffffff**********************KKKKKKKKK was all I could manage droped the tins on the floor legged it to the sink. Forgot to use the mits didn't I, not thinking about what I was doing was I, mits right beside me I even looked at them just as I had put my hands on the tin.

250[SUP]0[/SUP] oven, big industrial oven, tins fresh out the bloody thing,* don't touch them with your bare hands they are hot*. Will never forget that day, had blisters for a weeks.


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## lisa5 (Aug 5, 2011)

Most of these make me shudder. The other day I got conned by my lorikeet. In his sweet little voice he was saying "kiss, kiss" and making the kissey noises, so silly me went to give him a kiss. Just about got a lip piercing, right in the middle. He laughed the little**** Plenty of blood and a nice fat lip too. Instant botox!


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## CHEWY (Aug 5, 2011)

I was slicing carrots for the roaches. Was cutting them length ways as everyone knows you have less slicing that way. I was having a tough time with one particularly thick carrot and my small knife.
I just went hard and fast, sliced the carrot and the end of my thumb. 
After I had my thumb all covered, I found the bitof my thumb still on the knife with a nice bit of meat in it.
Here is the next day after the bleeding finally stopped.


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## snakes123 (Aug 5, 2011)

Well today i got a bag full of water and my friends thought it would be funny if i walked up the 2 story block and threw it down. There was about 200 year 12 kids sitting in the main year listening to their teacher so i thought i could give them something to get them a break. Threw it off but as soon as i threw it a teacher came out of a room and saw me. Hope he dosnt remember me from year 7 :/

Guess ill find out on monday, if he knows ill get suspended :/


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## slim6y (Aug 5, 2011)

I have two words for you... Tet Anus!

Hope you like speaking through a locked jaw....

(god, I hope I'm joking - because tetanus is no laughing matter... Especially if your jaw is locked, you just can't laugh at all!!!)

(patronising speak now) Tetanus comes from a spore in the ground where carrots live... Carrots don't show any symptoms of tetanus....


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## vampstorso (Aug 5, 2011)

LOL at carrots causing two accidents!


Paul...what're you on about? 
I'm not gonna die from bacteria poop! 
Still alive and kickin 

how good would it be if carrots were related to it...just feed carrots to those whose company you do not enjoy


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## slim6y (Aug 5, 2011)

I was just saying...

Did you know carrots used to be white - the Dutch bred them to become orange...

The Carrot is the second most popular vegetable in the world after the potato. ( Carrots in todays world )

The first carrots were white, purple, red, yellow, green and black - not orange. Its roots were thin and turnip coloured. ( Carrots Food Facts, History, Information, Timelines )


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## vampstorso (Aug 5, 2011)

Yes I did know that haha 
learnt it in highschool biology when discussing desired traits in genetics etc 

ahhhh Potato...gotta love Potato!

You should have some excellent stories being in agriculture and teaching! come onnnn...gotta have at least one! 



and Cement...that sounds horrorfying...better take care of yourself or KA will Kick your A** ;P (see what I did there with the initials! ooooh trickey!!)


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## Renenet (Aug 5, 2011)

vampstorso said:


> LOL at carrots causing two accidents!



Bloody carrots. 

Give you good eyesight but you won't have any fingers left.


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## Dipcdame (Aug 5, 2011)

....... and the pigeons Annie, don't forget NOT to feed the pigeons!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!!:lol:


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## glassless_mind (Aug 5, 2011)

Serving drinks tonight, I went to place a tray with two schooners on the table. I looked at one schooner as I put it down and thought it was unstable, but then went "ahh it'll be right"... no. I spilt an entire schooner of beer across the table, all over 3 people and coated a woman's handbag.


They didn't tip me.


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## vampstorso (Aug 5, 2011)

so....I think we're learning:
A) carrots lead to accidents
B) thinking "it'll be right" never leads too good things!


you poor girl though, that would've been awful, hopefully they were nice people and laughed it off


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## glassless_mind (Aug 5, 2011)

Haha they were ok, they were pretty sozzled by then anyway. I wiped it all up with a cloth, and wrung it out into the empty schooner glass (which became only half full - oops). They then started trying to pay each other to drink the stuff I'd just soaked up with an old cloth. It's entertaining work, haha.


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## K3nny (Aug 5, 2011)

played with dropped palm fronds way back when, had a go at removing the leaves by pulling it alongside my hand. They were dry so didn't think much of it besides being really really bored. (sorta like popping bubble wrap fun)
ended up with bloodied palms, apparently dried leaves can cut you pretty bad... (not to mention could have gone worse, like say infection)


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## kawasakirider (Aug 5, 2011)

Kenny's story reminds me of one of mine...My old man used to have a palm tree in his front yard right on the edge of a steep drop off. These old palm fronds used to hang down, but they were strong enough to hold my weight... I used to swing off them and let go about 10 ft up and land on the ground (hopefully like a cat, haha). One day I didn't let go and my head smacked into the tree and I was KO'd, and fell about 8 ft to the ground. Hurt a bit.

Another time I was at a motocross track and it was very muddy. My throttle got stuck and I was lined up for a table top that was only about 40ft. I could have gone off to the side of the track I guess, but I just gritted my teeth with my stomach in my neck and held on. It was a kicker so I got launched and overjumped by about 30ft, I bailed because I wasn't just landing flat, I was landing into the face of a hill. The bike decided to tackle me and make me its biyatch. My legs were jarred for ages because I landed on my knees then the 90 kg bike hit me, haha. I still rode later that day.

Another time I watched my mate do a pretty gnarly drift, he came back to brag and I said "take me man" so I jumped in the front seat and my gf jumped in the back. We ended up rolling 3 times, just missing a powerpole and being caught by a tree, which was lucky, because we were gunna roll again but the tree stopped us from going off a 20 odd foot drop. 

Had plenty more, particularly in cars with mates that I shouldn't have trusted. Kinda lucky to walk out of a few wrecks that I've been in (never crashed myself though  )


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## grannieannie (Aug 6, 2011)

I never knew that, how fascinating.... 



Dipcdame said:


> ....... and the pigeons Annie, don't forget NOT to feed the pigeons!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!!:lol:



pigeons...I'll give you... friggen ....pigeons !!! LOL...bitch, bitch, bitch LOL


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## Bel03 (Aug 6, 2011)

When i was 9, i had just moved in with my dad after alot of bad things were happening at mums, & wasnt feeling so great, so my dad decided to take me on a holiday for a week to get my mind off things........on the second day, we went & got Macca's & went to a park to eat, i had just put a chip in my mouth as we went to sit down, & the duck that had followed us charged & grabbed the end of the chip that wasnt in my mouth yet......it took what felt like half my lip with it! Then while playing on the swings, a crow flew down & stole my 'happy meal toy'......i was 9 so i was heartbroken! The following day, dad thought, yep the beach sounds good......we found a nice little spot & as i approached the water i seen a dead stingray floating near shore......for some reason i thought it would be a good idea to pick it up & throw it out further......first attempt, it didnt go far enough:?, second attempt resulted in the tail leaving a 2cm deep wound from the tip of my thumb that continued to the tip of my pointer finger, 14 stitches later, i was over our holiday!

Oh & another time, 6 yrs ago, when my daughter was almost 3, we were going to pick up lunch from the local takeaway shop, i had been at home all day, & didnt put underwear on under my old trackies.......while waiting for our order a friend came in & was showing me their new tattoo, as i had just had my first tatt done only a few days earlier, my darling little girl pulled my pants down & very loudly told everyone to look at her mummy's new 'crab'...... my tatt is actually a scorpion, on the front of my hip! I have NEVER been so humiliated, & NEVER go anywhere without underwear no more! :lol:


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## Serpentess (Aug 6, 2011)

I didn't get hurt in this story but Bell's story reminded me of this: I was on Great Keppel Island and after having a swim I went and got myself a pie (healthy me, lol). Picked it up and went to take a bite when "Whoooosh". Half the pie was gone. I look up to the direction it had disappeared to see a damned kookaburra gobbling it down! Lol.

I once accidently cut my sisters face with an axe. Lol. She got me back over the years by giving me two fractured bones though. Once she pushed me onto brick stairs and hairline fractured my arm and another time she dropped a heavy (6kg ish) garden ornament onto my big toe from a 2 metre verandah.... On purpose. It would have hit my head if I didn't jump back. The little so and so, lol.


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## Nighthawk (Aug 6, 2011)

Renenet said:


> Bloody carrots.
> 
> Give you good eyesight but you won't have any fingers left.



Completely unrelated but that totally made me think of a Terry Pratchett quote: "Nanny Ogg's Famous Carrot and Oyster Pie (Carrots so's you can see in the dark, and oysters so's you've got something to look at)" lol

Back to the thread; I've got a couple here that you guys made me remember. You made me, I didn't want to lmao...
When I was a kid I was grilling hot crossed buns. I was getting impatient and thought that the grill wasn't heating because it wasn't red... so I touched it. Cooked a dent in my finger.
Having worked as a waitress for quite a few years there's a few, not so painful, but embarassing tales as well;
I had a habit of catching things that were falling off the workbench with my hip. One day when I was baking muffins an egg rolled off and I slammed my hip into the bench to catch it. Had egg all down my leg for the rest of the day...
Spilled a bit of juice in the chiller and forgot to clean it up. As I was running hors d'oeuvres in to store for that night I skidded across the whole thing and soccer-tackled an entire 10L bucket of pumpkin soup... didn't drop the hors d'oeurves though 
On a trial day (my FIRST DAY) in years I loaded a tray with long, thin glasses of bright orange, thick organic juice thinking "I used to carry trays like this all the time, I'll be right..." and ignoring little warning bells in my head. Went out to serve them to a table of around 12 ladies (most of them dressed in white, go figure) and overbalanced. They headed away from the table, I overcorrected and like a slow-motion trainwreck most of the juice tipped over the two ladies I was standing behind. I still got the job, maybe I was the only one who applied...?


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## grannieannie (Aug 6, 2011)

You reminded me of something that happened to me several years ago. Where I live there is a lovely estuary foreshore which attracts lots of water birds including pelicans. One day I was about to eat a hamburger...or something similar...and a big pelican came and tried to get it from me and it chased me around a fountain. The local tourists thought this was great sport and one even took a video of the fun.....needless to say...I was not amused, and the bloody pelican did not get my lunch.


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## Bel03 (Aug 6, 2011)

Bloody pelicans! When my daughter was about a yr old, we were at beautiful little spot having lunch, Tiarne went to look for shells while we 'set up', i turned around just as a pelican literally opened its 'mouth' over my baby's head.......it must have thought it could swallow her! She has been petrified of them ever since!


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## Sezzzzzzzzz (Aug 6, 2011)

i am so sorry bel, but i am pmsl over that one! what a mental image...

My girlfriend was on the phone to me last night and all of a sudden I hear "NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", She had her 6 month old in the jolly jumper and the 1+yr old was pushing him. suddenly he gave the baby an almighty shove and he missed the wall, face first, by 1mm....


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## Bel03 (Aug 6, 2011)

newtolovingsnake said:


> i am so sorry bel, but i am pmsl over that one! what a mental image...
> 
> Its ok, after i 'rescued' her & calmed her & myself down, i 2 was laughing! It was quite funny, but its terrible now if we are anywhere with pelicans, cause even at 9yr old, she wont get out of the car!


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## Snakewoman (Aug 6, 2011)

We were at a bird sanctuary when I was little, we were sitting in the car and a swan came up to the window. I had some bread in my hand and as I was offering it to the swan I thought maybe it wasn't a good idea, but it was too late. The bloody thing bit my finger and it was very painful. 

Walking around in pitch black isn't a good idea either. That's when I found out that shins are good for finding stationary objects when you can't see :?


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## grannieannie (Aug 6, 2011)

I've actually heard a story about a pelican....don't know how true it is....that one ate one of those tiny dogs...can't spell the name...chi wow wa !! I was scared of the one that chased me at the time, but now....god help one if one ever tried to chase me again, I'd have it for mince meat...I'd give it as good as it tried to give me.

A few years ago I was at a restaurant near the ocean and I seagul got caught inside and kept trying to get out of the big floor to ceiling windows. It was very distressed and everyone was just looking at it. So I got up and caught it and took outside....the bastard gave me a bloody peck so I just shoved my finger further back in it's throat so it couldn't bite too much. When I'd released it, everyone in the restaurant cheered and clapped me...LOL. So I did a bow, washed my hands and continued with my lunch. LOL


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## Nighthawk (Aug 6, 2011)

grannieannie said:


> I've actually heard a story about a pelican....don't know how true it is....that one ate one of those tiny dogs...can't spell the name...chi wow wa !! I was scared of the one that chased me at the time, but now....god help one if one ever tried to chase me again, I'd have it for mince meat...I'd give it as good as it tried to give me.
> 
> A few years ago I was at a restaurant near the ocean and I seagul got caught inside and kept trying to get out of the big floor to ceiling windows. It was very distressed and everyone was just looking at it. So I got up and caught it and took outside....the bastard gave me a bloody peck so I just shoved my finger further back in it's throat so it couldn't bite too much. When I'd released it, everyone in the restaurant cheered and clapped me...LOL. So I did a bow, washed my hands and continued with my lunch. LOL



Chihuahua for future reference. I only know because my mother tells me my father could never pronounce it and always called them "chahooahooas", so I always think of it phoenetically lol.
LMAO about the gull.


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## Renenet (Aug 6, 2011)

I just remembered another one from when I was eight or nine. I saw a tree that had fallen across a small creek. _What a nice bridge_, I thought. Knowing it was a bad idea, I ran out onto the trunk before my father could say anything, lost my balance and ended up in the drink. Fortunately the water was still and I managed to dog paddle to shore. Other than a few scratches, the only thing hurt was my pride.


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## Fiamma (Aug 6, 2011)

I use to take my Grandson to swimming lessons and the pool was on the beach, always took a packed lunch for afterwards. He was just over one at the time and sharing his sandwich with the seagulls when one latched onto his finger. Seemed like a long time before it finally let go with poor Josh screaming and crying, his little finger bleeding and red. I'm trying to calm him while laughing at the same time, terrible Nan I know, but it did look funny. Didn't let them get too close after that.


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## Renenet (Aug 6, 2011)

All these bird stories remind me of Alfred Hitchcock's famous movie.


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