# What will I do now.....?



## Beard (Feb 3, 2012)

Floating about at home and I just heard on the news (wafting through the house from the telly) that a doctor somewhere wants an international ban smacking children (again).

What ever will I do though.

How can I, as a father and a 195cm, 95kg male assert my authoritah over my 4 year old 18kg daughter if I can't smack her.



I'm filing this one with the idiocy of Elephants in Aust......


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## waruikazi (Feb 3, 2012)

Round house kick?


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## Bel03 (Feb 3, 2012)

There is already a ban on smacking the babies we gave birth to.......How do u think i feel? My 9y.o old is almost bigger then me....... & the naughty corner isnt working anymore! :lol:

Its worse that they teach our kids at school that smacking isnt aloud though......now my 6y.o does something wrong & then as he is running away from me says 'you are not aloud to smack me'.......my reply 'if docs want to take u away cause i give u a smack on the butt, i will let them, id like to see how they get him to listen!!


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## MathewB (Feb 3, 2012)

I don't understand what's so bad about it, I turned out fine......for the most part


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## Bel03 (Feb 3, 2012)

MathewB said:


> I don't understand what's so bad about it, I turned out fine......for the most part



Me 2! There isnt anything wrong with giving them a smack on the butt.......there is a HUGE difference between smacking & bashing......someone just isnt understanding that!! They are also not understanding that their stupid laws are to blame for these 14y.o criminals that we now have large numbers of!!


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## waruikazi (Feb 3, 2012)

Bel711 said:


> There is already a ban on smacking the babies we gave birth to.......How do u think i feel? My 9y.o old is almost bigger then me....... & the naughty corner isnt working anymore! :lol:
> 
> Its worse that they teach our kids at school that smacking isnt aloud though......now my 6y.o does something wrong & then as he is running away from me says 'you are not aloud to smack me'.......my reply 'if docs want to take u away cause i give u a smack on the butt, i will let them, id like to see how they get him to listen!!



No i'm pretty sure it is legal to smack your own children in most Aussie states and territories.


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## abnrmal91 (Feb 3, 2012)

Does a back hand count as a smack?


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## Beard (Feb 3, 2012)

Its because for some parents there is no line between smacking and hitting, but for some parents its also acceptable to have a house full of people 24/7, get off your face and pass out on the floor and let the kids fend for themselves.

Some people though should be sterilised.


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## MathewB (Feb 3, 2012)

abnrmal91 said:


> Does a back hand count as a smack?




With or without the racket?


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## Bel03 (Feb 3, 2012)

waruikazi said:


> No i'm pretty sure it is legal to smack your own children in most Aussie states and territories.



No it isnt. They started teaching this in schools here when my daughter started yr 1! A few yrs ago i had 'visits' from docs when i was with my abusive ex, & each & everytime, they asked my daughter who was 4 at the time, how she is disciplined & if she is ever smacked. I also have a friend who when going to get her son from school was greeted by children services at the class room because her son told the teacher his mum smacked him for fighting with his brother. It may not be concrete law yet, but they are & do make visits for simple reports such as these.


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## MathewB (Feb 3, 2012)

Bel711 said:


> No it isnt. They started teaching this in schools here when my daughter started yr 1! A few yrs ago i had 'visits' from docs when i was with my abusive ex, & each & everytime, they asked my daughter who was 4 at the time, how she is disciplined & if she is ever smacked. I also have a friend who when going to get her son from school was greeted by children services at the class room because her son told the teacher his mum smacked him for fighting with his brother. It may not be concrete law yet, but they are & do make visits for simple reports such as these.




Holy Moley, I've lost all hope for this world


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## waruikazi (Feb 3, 2012)

Bel711 said:


> No it isnt. They started teaching this in schools here when my daughter started yr 1! A few yrs ago i had 'visits' from docs when i was with my abusive ex, & each & everytime, they asked my daughter who was 4 at the time, how she is disciplined & if she is ever smacked. I also have a friend who when going to get her son from school was greeted by children services at the class room because her son told the teacher his mum smacked him for fighting with his brother. It may not be concrete law yet, but they are & do make visits for simple reports such as these.



Ok, not saying that DOCS won't investigate where a complaint has been made. But this Commonwealth Gov website says pretty clearly what the child, parent and schools legal rights are in regard to corporal punishment.



> The _Criminal Code Act 1899_ (Qld) states that:
> it is lawful for a parent or a person in the place of a parent ... to use, by way of correction, discipline, management or control, towards a child or pupil, under the person's care, such force that is reasonable under the circumstances. ​It therefore remains lawful for a parent to physically punish/correct their child.



Corporal punishment: Key issues - Resource Sheet - National Child Protection Clearinghouse 3 Jan 2012

Knowing what i know about some mainstream school teachers, trying to push their own values onto the families of their students, it doesn't suprise me that some parents are reported to child welfare services for giving their kids a smack.


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## Wild~Touch (Feb 3, 2012)

Some people though should be sterilised. 

Nah...........should be made sterile when born . then apply for a permit to breed only after they can prove they can feed, clothe, educate and control their offspring.


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## Bel03 (Feb 3, 2012)

Cool, thanks for that bit of info......this will be my son's bedtime story tonight!! 
The date, 1899, though is just classic.......just like the rest of our legal system, it needs to be reviewed, we are now in the 21st century, & things have changed drastically from the time most laws were made anyway!


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## Beard (Feb 3, 2012)

Bel711 said:


> we are now in the 20th century, & things have changed drastically from the time most laws were made anyway!




Are you sure about that, In NSW, Taxi's are still 'legally required' to have a bale of hay in the boot


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## olivehydra (Feb 3, 2012)

Bel711 said:


> to be reviewed, we are now in the 20th century, & !



??


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## Ramsayi (Feb 3, 2012)

olivehydra said:


> ??



Think thats Qld time


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## Klaery (Feb 3, 2012)

It is the 21st century.. Even in Queensland. Don't blame teachers. It is not their job to raise your kids. A child learns his/her base values long before stepping into a classroom.


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## Bel03 (Feb 3, 2012)

Ramsayi said:


> Think thats Qld time



:lol: I agree, since moving up here, i think i am slipping a bit upstairs!! But in my defense, 1 & 0 are so close to each other on the keyboard, making it quite easy for a slip up!! 



danielk said:


> It is the 21st century.. Even in Queensland. Don't blame teachers. It is not their job to raise your kids. A child learns his/her base values long before stepping into a classroom.




Who was blaming teachers?? I must have missed that part :?


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## Ramsayi (Feb 3, 2012)

Bel711 said:


> :lol: I agree, since moving up here, i think i am slipping a bit upstairs!! But in my defense, 1 & 0 are so close to each other on the keyboard, making it quite easy for a slip up!!
> 
> Who was blaming teachers?? I must have missed that part :?




Yup and th and st are close together on the keyboard as well


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## Bel03 (Feb 3, 2012)

Ramsayi said:


> Yup and th and st are close together on the keyboard as well



 It is when u havent slept! I just wrote what made sense, i didnt consider having the number wrong!


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## Ramsayi (Feb 3, 2012)

shhh


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## Bel03 (Feb 3, 2012)

PFFFT, yeah ok.....but only since u asked so nicely! :?


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## -Peter (Feb 3, 2012)

I've two children. My son has never been smacked. I threatened to smack him once and he smiled at me. He said "you wouldn't hit me," with a look of total innocent belief in the statement. My daughter was smacked once and it didn't do anything to right the situation. I have two very courteous, well behaved kids who do what they are asked as much as anyone elses.


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## waruikazi (Feb 3, 2012)

-Peter said:


> I've two children. My son has never been smacked. I threatened to smack him once and he smiled at me. He said "you wouldn't hit me," with a look of total innocent belief in the statement. *My daughter was smacked once and it didn't do anything to right the situation.* I have two very courteous, well behaved kids who do what they are asked as much as anyone elses.



You did it wrong then


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## PythonLegs (Feb 3, 2012)

I smacked my daughter twice- once when she was 3 and ran across 4 lanes of traffic, and once when she was 6 and went out of the front yard to talk to some douchebag in a van, who called her over. And if DOCS came to visit because of either of them, they'd get the same!


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## DanNG (Feb 3, 2012)

Throw shoes, it works and also improves their reflexes. Just say'n


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## thomasssss (Feb 3, 2012)

DanNG said:


> Throw shoes, it works and also improves their reflexes. Just say'n


good dodgeball practice


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## vampstorso (Feb 3, 2012)

It's unfair to say smacking doesn't work for any kids, and then too say it works for all. 
I was smacked, and the severity of the smack fit the crime. 
I think it worked well for myself personally. 


Too outlaw it makes no difference. If people feel it's because of parents who can't tell the difference between smacking and bashing...Don't you also feel they're the people who don't care? They'd continue on their merry way despite a silly law telling them not too!


What should be taken more seriously, is all the absoloute CRAP I hear parents scream at their children. Do you really think the more aggressively and loud you swear at a child, the more it'll listen? Both my neighbours do this, and it does my head in.


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## MathewB (Feb 3, 2012)

I think it's funny when parents ask their children if they'd like to sit in their chair. I wasn't given a choice haha


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## Nighthawk (Feb 3, 2012)

When I was over in NZ just recently my daughter decided to help herself to some pic'n'mix at the local New World, despite the fact that she knew it was wrong, so I smacked the back of her hand (just a tap, enough to send a message) and made her give it to the nearest attendant and tell the truth. The look of shock on the faces of passersby did not escape my attention, and when I got back to my mother's place I told her about it. Apparently I was lucky the cops weren't called.
What got to me was the fact that nobody cared about my daughter stealing, even though it was only a couple of lollies it's still stealing, and that's what we've always said to her. The collective shock surfaced when I smacked her hand. From the looks on their faces I may as well have back-handed her into the veges.
I wonder if I'd just let her eat the damn sweeties if anyone would have even cared that I'd just left her to steal unreprimanded?


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## vampstorso (Feb 3, 2012)

Nighthawk, i wouldve been proud of you if I'd seen that. As instead, i see all the parents who happily let their children run a muck and raise them to think they're untouchable.


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## Bel03 (Feb 3, 2012)

Ive done the same Nighthawk, i took my daughter back into the shop after getting out to the car & noticing she had taken a lollypop on our way out, she was only 2, but she still remembers it to this day!


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## Bredli_Girl80 (Feb 3, 2012)

I was beaten by my mum's boyfriend with a piece of bamboo or back handed across the face when I did something wrong. I now have 3 boys of my own and I give them a smack on the bum due to fighting with each other but I know the limits and know exactly how it feels to be beaten badly, not to sure if the boys are learning anything from it and i'm just wasting my time but when you have taken all other ideas of discipline and failed what else is left to do. I think children should be punished a little harder at school otherwise parents have no hope controlling their child/ren at home, children need consistency in their life


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## waruikazi (Feb 3, 2012)

mattlianag said:


> I was beaten by my mum's boyfriend with a piece of bamboo or back handed across the face when I did something wrong. I now have 3 boys of my own and I give them a smack on the bum due to fighting with each other but I know the limits and know exactly how it feels to be beaten badly, not to sure if the boys are learning anything from it and i'm just wasting my time but when you have taken all other ideas of discipline and failed what else is left to do. *I think children should be punished a little harder at school otherwise parents have no hope controlling their child/ren at home, children need consistency in their life*



More often than not it works the other way. A well disciplined child at home makes for a good learner.


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## Klaery (Feb 3, 2012)

Again... Schools are not there solely to discipline/raise your children. Teachers do it and do it very well but the reality is that children have been taught their values long before school. It is extremely difficult to work with children when there is no behavioral support from home.


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## waruikazi (Feb 3, 2012)

danielk said:


> Again... *Schools are not there solely to discipline/raise your children*. Teachers do it and do it very well but the reality is that children have been taught their values long before school. It is extremely difficult to work with children when there is no behavioral support from home.



No no it is *NOT *our job at all! We are here to develop your child's academic skills, not to raise or discipline kids. That is called beign a parent.


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## Klaery (Feb 3, 2012)

Haha I wanted to say it as bluntly as you but trying to be nice  I'm also a teacher


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## Darlyn (Feb 3, 2012)

My Mum still back hands me if I let the f word slip near her. (& I'm nearly 50)
Dam pleased she doesn't come to the pub with me, she'e got a great back hander.


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## waruikazi (Feb 3, 2012)

danielk said:


> Haha I wanted to say it as bluntly as you but trying to be nice  I'm also a teacher



Excellent! Good to have another young dude! What grade?


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## Klaery (Feb 3, 2012)

Chemistry, biol and maths so anything from 8 to 12. How about you mate? Primary?


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## dihsmaj (Feb 3, 2012)

Maybe it's because I'm still considered a child but I honestly don't think smacking kids does any good.


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## waruikazi (Feb 3, 2012)

danielk said:


> Chemistry, biol and maths so anything from 8 to 12. How about you mate? Primary?



Year 1/2's in a remote NT community. Worlds apart lol.



dihsmaj said:


> Maybe it's because I'm still considered a child but I honestly don't think smacking kids does any good.



I think you need a good backhand after some of your recent posts!

Joking buddy!


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## Klaery (Feb 3, 2012)

In some ways for sure and some ways not so much  good to see a young bloke working where you do though. I bet you are well respected in the area.


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## cement (Feb 3, 2012)

I've never smacked my kids, but I will and do occasionally smack my wife when she's been really really naughty.
Only ever with an open hand and only on the bottom :evil: :lol:


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## SteveNT (Feb 3, 2012)

Beard said:


> Are you sure about that, In NSW, Taxi's are still 'legally required' to have a bale of hay in the boot



In SA all public houses must provide a hitching rail for their patrons' horses!


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## jakedasnake (Feb 3, 2012)

i still get smacked and I'm thirteen. i just wished i got grounded instead cos lets just say my parents are really good at smacking.


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## Jeffa (Feb 3, 2012)

jakessnake3799 said:


> i still get smacked and I'm thirteen. i just wished i got grounded instead cos lets just say my parents are really good at smacking.



No. You are just bad at listening.


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## jakedasnake (Feb 3, 2012)

Jeffa said:


> No. You are just bad at listening.


 joke?


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## SteveNT (Feb 3, 2012)

If the cops didnt beat the crap out of me when I was 14 and being very bad I wouldnt have had the fabulous life I have had. I have no doubt of this and really think it's a shame so many good kids are allowed to run amok these days. A bit of discipline early on would give them the grounding we all need as seething bags of hormones called youth.


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## Jeffa (Feb 3, 2012)

jakessnake3799 said:


> joke?



Of course dude, smiley face. Maybe not taking notice is the problem


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## jakedasnake (Feb 3, 2012)

Jeffa said:


> Of course dude, smiley face. Maybe not taking notice is the problem


 yea lol i should of picked up on that.


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## MrHappy (Feb 3, 2012)

I read a good quote today (that went something like this);

If a child has a problem with reading, we TEACH
If a child has a problem with multiplication, we TEACH
If a child has a problem with writing, we TEACH
If a child has a problem with behaviour, we . . . 
PUNISH? . . . or . . . TEACH?
Makes you think doesn't it


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## Defective (Feb 3, 2012)

i was 9 when i copped the wooden spoon on the back of my thighs! i have never been smacked since. i turned out just fine and very well mannered.


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## Jeffa (Feb 3, 2012)

Defective said:


> i was 9 when i copped the wooden spoon on the back of my thighs! i have never been smacked since. i turned out just fine and very well mannered.



But you avatar does not agree


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## Defective (Feb 3, 2012)

that refers to my brain....long story short during a procedure i had done last year the radiologist told me my brain was defective on one side...the transverse sinus and venous sinus on the left side never developed during pregnancy


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## Jeffa (Feb 3, 2012)

Defective said:


> that refers to my brain....long story short during a procedure i had done last year the radiologist told me my brain was defective on one side...the transverse sinus and venous sinus on the left side never developed during pregnancy


Still cool and post great.


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## jedi_339 (Feb 3, 2012)

I got the wooden spoon, the belt or a smack when I was a kid, right up until the age of probably 14 or so, the severity of the punishment fit what I did, believe me I was a **** of a kid and so I did deserved it lol.

but really, it never actually hurt, it was more the shock then anything, my mum snapped a wooden spoon over my brothers *** once and he couldn't stop laughing :lol:

though my mums personal favourite was the peach stick, she made us go to the peach tree, pick a green whippy thin twig and she used to give us one little tap with it on the butt or thigh, holy crap it was the worst stinging pain ever :lol: those were the days, incidently if we tried to be smart and choose a dead one or one that wouldn't hurt we got two.


P.S. it may sound like bad or harsh punishment, but I disagree and I was the one getting the smacks, both mum and dad only ever did what was necessary to teach us manners, discipline or a lesson


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## feathergrass (Feb 3, 2012)

as a kid i got beaten by my step mum and dad and my step mum nearly killed me no less than 4 times then the NZ version of docs stepped in and sent me to my birth mother who did not discipline me at all and i ran amok..one extreme to another..
personally if one of my kids and i have three ( 18, 14 and almost 4) do something that i feel needs a smack on the butt i will give it to them, i also have tried the grounding and removing of fav things a smack on the butt is thr LAST resort...my dad has since had a stroke and is dying ( we didnt speak for many a year and i live with him and his third wife with 2 of my kids i am a well adjusted ( kinda) person my kids are respectful and have been taught to stand up for themselves at school if they are gonna get in trouble for something they didnt do or take what the punishment is from the teachers if they were in the wrong.
I used to teach in NZ and sometimes ( even now) i wished that parents would give some kids a decent smack on the butt. but some cant do that as they don't know the difference and some are simply not there to bring their kids up and some don't care.I think if more parents cared and had clear boundaries and were there for their kids there would be less of the little feral butt heads running around now getting pregnant and committing crimes...far far too many kids rule their parents these days


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## K3nny (Feb 3, 2012)

pffft, i've got smacked with rattan palm sticks (the stuff they use for wicker baskets n stuff) if i scored anything below 60% on any test. Grew up fine, got great marks back in school, and nothing more. If anything i grew up to respect anyone older, and i also understood after awhile that my parents meant the best for me.

And people wonder why younger kids today (not all, but some, i know there's a few mature ones here) act like spoiled brats.

The first year when i was renting one of my housemates had a young daughter, they HAD to make sure she had no signs of any external wounds or blemishes, anything that would indicate abuse (and no, they loved their kid to bits, it's just that people can and do speculate the worst in schoolyards apparently).

Back in SE Asia we have a traditional method of healing people with fever and chills due to bad weather, which involves rubbing eucalyptus oil and using a coin/blunt spoon to rub the back till its red like a pine tree pattern, opens up the pores, helps you sleep, and actually (i know some will scoff at this) does help. Thing is the redness left on the skin surface needs time to heal (like 2-3 days) and doesn't look pretty, very easy to mistake as "abuse". 

When the little one once got sick i asked if they did this (because the family and i come from the same country), and with a horrified look they told me they'd risk jail time if they did that.


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## SteveNT (Feb 3, 2012)

MrHappy said:


> I read a good quote today (that went something like this);
> 
> If a child has a problem with reading, we TEACH
> If a child has a problem with multiplication, we TEACH
> ...



Nup, get right and wrong sorted as soon as you can, pre-emptive strike. You cant let it ride for decades then change the rules. Thats just wrong.


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## Wrightpython (Feb 3, 2012)

i get around the smacking by telling my two kids to smack each other when there naughty enough to deserve it. the youngest shore has a good swing on her.


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## Jeannine (Feb 3, 2012)

*there is a big difference between giving your child a smack and belting the living daylights out of them

some of these 'experts' need to get their heads out of those books which are usually written by so called other 'experts' who have NO idea about the real world

if time out works for you then thats great, well done however not all children respond to this

for example a child putting things in an electrical socket, some will 'understand' not to do it again but others will only learn by a gentle tap on the fingers not a hard one

i do not believe this garbage that smacking children turns them into bullies, or so mentally unstable they need committing or therapy for years, its a 'lets blame the parents for everything' attitude society can well do without

lots of us were smacked as a child and suffered no long time or ill effects of it, man when i was a kid the words 'wait till your father gets home' had me imaging all sorts of horrible punishments which was a lot worse then the actual events when 'dad got did get home' but now that would probably be viewed as 'cruel and unusual punishment' ** i can remember my uncle use to have a razor strap hanging behind his door which hung from a hook man i got 'threatened' with that many times, even got my mouthed washed out once with soap for 'swearing' *:lol: *do do that these days would have the cops coming around to arrest you and the kids get worse because they KNOW their rights and what parents can and cant do and they hold their parents to ransom with it*

*they are taking more and more rights away form parents and telling them they cant raise their children this way or that and wonder why we have a generation of 'brats' who have NO respect for anyone and yet on the other hand they want to hold parents responsible for the actions of their children? cant have it bloody both ways you morons 

belting and abusing children NOT ON, a small smack usually on the bottom where there is a lot of padding is OK in fact a lot of children ive seen around need a good slap 
*


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## waruikazi (Feb 3, 2012)

As i was reading your first 2 paragraphs i was planning on asking you if you had an asian back ground. Asian parents sound scary as!



K3nny said:


> pffft, i've got smacked with rattan palm sticks (the stuff they use for wicker baskets n stuff) if i scored anything below 60% on any test. Grew up fine, got great marks back in school, and nothing more. If anything i grew up to respect anyone older, and i also understood after awhile that my parents meant the best for me.
> 
> And people wonder why younger kids today (not all, but some, i know there's a few mature ones here) act like spoiled brats.
> 
> ...


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## MathewB (Feb 3, 2012)

Jeannine said:


> *there is a big difference between giving your child a smack and belting the living daylights out of them
> 
> some of these 'experts' need to get their heads out of those books which are usually written by so called other 'experts' who have NO idea about the real world
> 
> ...




+1


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## waruikazi (Feb 3, 2012)

MathewB said:


> +1



This is why we have a like button now. You're about to get a smack young man!


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## MathewB (Feb 3, 2012)




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## junglemac (Feb 3, 2012)

I am totally against any form of physical punishment. What do you rely teach your child when smacking them? You do as I say not as I to kinda thing does not work. All you teach them is that when you font get your way you hit them. I have never hit any of my kids, and all though they can be a handful at home, they are all exemplary when out, very diplomatic, never fights( unless at karate training ). No people who smack does it in lack of other more civilized ways to sort things out. And need to learn new techniques


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## lynchette85 (Feb 3, 2012)

Bel711 said:


> Me 2! There isnt anything wrong with giving them a smack on the butt.......there is a HUGE difference between smacking & bashing......someone just isnt understanding that!! They are also not understanding that their stupid laws are to blame for these 14y.o criminals that we now have large numbers of!!



Agreed!



Beard said:


> Its because for some parents there is no line between smacking and hitting, but for some parents its also acceptable to have a house full of people 24/7, get off your face and pass out on the floor and let the kids fend for themselves.
> 
> Some people though should be sterilised.



Also agreed!!


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## disintegratus (Feb 3, 2012)

Beard said:


> Some people though should be sterilised.




Most people should be sterilised, and have to be qualified before they can breed. Hell, you need a permit for reptiles/wildlife, yet any idiot can get knocked up . I deal with Office of Housing tenants as part of my job, and seriously, NONE OF THEM should be allowed to procreate.

Who would have thought that dealing with people in need would turn me into even more of a heartless ******?!?!


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## waruikazi (Feb 3, 2012)

junglemac said:


> I am totally against any form of physical punishment. What do you rely teach your child when smacking them? You do as I say not as I to kinda thing does not work. All you teach them is that when you font get your way you hit them. I have never hit any of my kids, and all though they can be a handful at home, they are all exemplary when out, very diplomatic, never fights( unless at karate training ). No people who smack does it in lack of other more civilized ways to sort things out. And need to learn new techniques



What are some other more 'civilised' methods?


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## vampstorso (Feb 3, 2012)

I don't understand saying smacking a child teaches them that violence is the answer. How does it?

It just might, if all you do is hit children, and don't form an understanding for them of the ethics behind why they received a punishment.
But then again, the majority of children I see now, don't have ethics or moral understanding anymore, and hey, apparently they're not hit either!

It's gotten to a world where it's surprising to see a polite child (or person, for that matter), it should be the other way around, and once, it was. You lived in fear of the consequences of your actions, (even in public as it would get back to your parents); not anymore.


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## Nighthawk (Feb 4, 2012)

Every child is different. My daughter is an intelligent little girl; she responds to reason very well, and even contributes to a debate with rather astute answers for a 5 year old. Precocious is the word, I believe. But if she does something serious (hurts herself or others deliberately, puts herself or others in dangerous situations deliberately/repeatedly, breaks a law...) then she gets a smack either on the bum or (as with the theft before) on her hand. Then she knows I'm dead serious; even then I will usually tell her repeatedly that what she is doing is wrong and why before a smack. As I said before, she knew taking the pic 'n' mix was wrong, I had told her why repeatedly (she had tried it on several occasions in other stores), so she got taken to an attendant and a tap on the hand. She hasn't done it since. As far as she's concerned a lot of the time reason can be fought with reason, and she'll argue you in circles before you realise she's stalling time out or an apology. A quick tap has been the only definitive method in telling her that there is no argument, she has done wrong and needs to rectify the situation and deal with the consequences.
My son on the other hand doesn't respond well to either reason or a smack. He responds best to a firm routine, not a daily one but a simple situational one. He's stubborn and straightforward, and when he does warrant a smack on the bum he barely notices, so the best method with him is to keep your cool and give the right responses/offer the right questions or statements and (if he is holding something dangerous) by no means make a move to grab it unless you know you can get it off him quick. If you can't grab it it usually goes: 
"Give it to me please..." 
"No." 
"Then I'll take it" 
"No, I want to do it... watch" 
"I'm watching" 
"There you go Mum." 
"Thank you. Good boy."
"You're welcome."
Two completely different children who respond well to two completely different methods, raised by the same parents. There are no blanket methods as every child is different; this is why I despise those 'how to raise your child' manuals and 'what your kid should be doing at this age' standards. We're not cloning ourselves here... we're raising individuals.


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## K3nny (Feb 4, 2012)

waruikazi said:


> As i was reading your first 2 paragraphs i was planning on asking you if you had an asian back ground. Asian parents sound scary as!



i was actually half expecting someone to mention that sooner or later, yes indeed i am.
and that's pretty common, tv was reserved for weekends, up till 4th primary Saturday was a school day, i had up to 5-6 extracurricular activities at one point in a week, which included arithmetic, piano, painting, mandarin (which i promptly quit, actually i regret that now), and two extra tutorials on top of the mandatory extracurricular activity enforced by the school.

and that's still rather lenient, i know of at least one kid in my school back in junior high who'd cry if she got anything short of a 95% on a test, apparently it was expected by her parents but i think she got off with a simple scolding, i find most parents refrain from physical punishments when it comes to girls (and by physical i mean caning n stuff)


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## cement (Feb 4, 2012)

Maybe no-ones realized yet that the rules about smacking etc are bought about by bad parents. Good parents have good kids, bad parents have bad kids. Good parents have mastered at least a bit of self control and if not then at least the ability to be able to apologize for losing it and make things better. They will explain things to their kids and actually spend time with them monitoring their growth.
Bad parents will be self absorbed to the point (drugs , alchohol, work, whatever) where kids get no attention, and are often left to their own devices, abused for stepping out of line, and will grow up not trusting the parents.
There is heaps of good kids around and it usually comes from a stable home environment, and there is heaps of kids around that all they need is a bit of guidance from someone that they respect... doesn't have to be a parent.


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## Defective (Feb 4, 2012)

mum walked into the bathroom at roxby once while we were staying with family and cracked the razor strap.....i think my skeleton detached itself from muscles and i **** meself!!!


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## vampstorso (Feb 4, 2012)

Love that so many of us have been threatened/hit with the razor straps hahaha 
I remember them...always hanging in Nanas hallway, just waiting for a misbehaving smart alec child!


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## Jeffa (Feb 4, 2012)

Would love to see the Baby Boomers thought on this one. They have seen both ends of the cane (so to speak). Me being a 33 year old and encouraging a good old fashion flooging to a spoilt brat sounds like the goods (happened to me) I turned out fine (so I believe)


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## Darlyn (Feb 4, 2012)

My Mum used to hit us in a seasonal method. Winter time = slipper, Summer = thong. Ouch!


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## lynchette85 (Feb 4, 2012)

cement said:


> Maybe no-ones realized yet that the rules about smacking etc are bought about by bad parents. Good parents have good kids, bad parents have bad kids. Good parents have mastered at least a bit of self control and if not then at least the ability to be able to apologize for losing it and make things better. They will explain things to their kids and actually spend time with them monitoring their growth.
> Bad parents will be self absorbed to the point (drugs , alchohol, work, whatever) where kids get no attention, and are often left to their own devices, abused for stepping out of line, and will grow up not trusting the parents.
> There is heaps of good kids around and it usually comes from a stable home environment, and there is heaps of kids around that all they need is a bit of guidance from someone that they respect... doesn't have to be a parent.



So true.. Sad thing is there are so many self absorbed parents these days, and it's ultimately the kids that pay.. Not only their kids, but also the children of "good" parents who are bullied or lead astray by kids who know no better, because their parents couldn't be bothered with them.. It's a domino effect, and so sad because it's so preventable. 

Like so many have already said, there is a world of difference between the occasional smack, where justified, and senseless abuse. In my opinion if you can't differentiate between the two you have no right bringing a child into the world. If these people wouldnt have kids just to abuse and neglect them then not only would the kids be far better off, but all us decent parents wouldn't have silly anti smacking laws to worry about


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## Mitchell1995 (Feb 4, 2012)

Here's a my opinion.
Hitting a kid should be alright if they did something wrong AND you tell them what they did wrong, if you don't they/we think you just want to hit them/us. I was smacked once or twice when I was younger.
BUT if my step dad hit me these days... Ill hit back :shock:

Thats just because he over reacts tho.


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## dihsmaj (Feb 4, 2012)

K3nny said:


> pffft, i've got smacked with rattan palm sticks (the stuff they use for wicker baskets n stuff) if i scored anything below 60% on any test. Grew up fine, got great marks back in school, and nothing more. If anything i grew up to respect anyone older, and i also understood after awhile that my parents meant the best for me.


I don't see how that could help you score higher on a test... I wonder what your parents were thinking. 'He didn't get good marks? Smack him, it'll make him smart.'


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## gosia (Feb 5, 2012)

OK my 2 cents )

What kids those days are missing is : respect!!! Excuse me if I come across as old fashioned but when I walk into someones house I expect the child to say hello to me after I say hello to them, instead of looking me up and down and continuing with whatever they were doing. What hope do they have at work when they are told what to do!

I was smacked when I was younger and I must admit the fear of getting belted made me what I am today. I knew that, when my friends wagged school and if I went with them my parents would have killed me. When friends drank alcohol and smoked cigarettes - I knew better! 

I love my parents and not for once do I hate them for the fact that they smacked me (well I am sure I felt differently at the time) but I guess they had the right idea about smacking. There is a difference between smacking and beating the s out of a child.

Do I smack my kids??? **** yeah! From very early I have implemented the one - two - three theory. I am going to count to three and if you don't do as you are told you get a smack on three! I can honestly tell you - my daughter is 10 and I can not remember the last time I had to smack her. Yet as soon as I get to 2 ...she ****s herself )))) 

Recently I have watched a program on TV about some 10 year olds that are smoking and running wild in small country towns till 1 / 2 am and the reporter asked well, where are the parents??? As I agree with this statement to some point...I then ask myself....the government tells our children that smacking is not ok, that it is ok to do what they don't want to do. You don't feel like going to school today - well your parents can't make you! At 14 they tell you that its ok to leave school, move out of home and even pay you money to do so!!! Like really???? And then when this child plays up - ITS US that is to blame!!! 

I think I have 2 beautiful children, that listen have respect but most of all understand consequences! I am not saying that smacking is the reason they have turned up like this but because I did it my way and if anyone has a problem with it - tough luck!!!!


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## Nighthawk (Feb 5, 2012)

One thing to note is this whole 'image' being promoted about what constitutes a perfect parent. It's terrible, because it puts a hell of a lot of pressure on people these days; what constitutes a perfect mum? Well, media and social analogies tell us that a perfect mum these days isn't far removed from the 50's, not emotionally speaking. A perfect mum (or dad, for the single dads out there), must at all times be emotionally stable. They must keep a perfect house, tidy at all times, keep their temper under control, never smack their children, never yell, swear, drink. They must divide their time evenly between a career (how many at home parents here have heard "Oh... you're _only_ a parent? Is that all?"), their children and apparently must have time to perfectly manicure their image to having that media body/makeup/clothes/lifestyle everyone dreams of (and most people fake, come on; let's be honest).
It doesn't matter what you do somebody's going to be judging your parenting methods, judging your children's behaviour (EVERY kid has bad days where they'll throw a tanty in public or do something outrageous), judging your appearance, judging your lifestyle. I had a woman who turned her nose up at my housekeeping; it used to make me feel awful. For the record I'm not a bad housekeeper at all, but my two major sticklers are usually a pile of clean washing waiting to be folded and last-night's dinner dishes sometimes while their way out 'till morning, it's not a crime. One day I went to her house and holy crap: It was like hoarders! We were walking through rooms sideways, and I vowed never to go there again.
As far as children's behaviour goes... well I'm not backing letting your kids run wild but come on, be reasonable! A child is not a handbag; they're a little person with all the emotional pitfalls and individuality that comes with it. Anyone who expects a perfect stepford child has either never had children or is completely deluding themselves.
I guess what I'm saying is that I take anyone who tells me they've got this image down pat with a grain of salt: they're either lying or there's something lacking. The charade should stop! We're all human, we all make mistakes, get frustrated, lose our cool, forget or can't be bothered to only vacuum one day, or fold the washing, wear sweats or undies around the house and not brush our hair one day when we're not even going out.
I'll go first: I'm a real mum. I breastfeed in public (apparently a major crime these days, but I cover up to save the argument), sometimes I forego folding the washing or leave the dishes till the morning, days I don't go out I wear trakkie dacks and there's days on rare occasions where I'll leave the pantry open and let my kids eat cake for breakfast. I've smacked my kids and I've yelled, but that doesn't make me bad, it makes me human, and I know where the line is and when to leave the kids with my husband and go for a walk to the back of the backyard and cool off. Who's next?

Well now I feel like a bad mum... lmao


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