# Mental Health Issues?



## AMY22 (Mar 16, 2010)

So, I wanted to know how many people here suffer from any mental ilnesses or disorders, wether it's depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, whatever. I have been feeling a little down lately, and I really don't have anywhere to go that doesn't involve me dragging my problems onto someone else to deal with.
I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), I was diagnosed when I was 19 (although I could have actually had it for 10 years). Now I'm 22 and I'm still learning about how I am affected by this, I'm still learning about the disorder itself, and there isn't much help avaliable specifically for sufferers of PTSD. I used to go on a forum, but one day someone blew up at me and a few people who were friends with this person joined in the attack. Needless to say I've never gone back, and there is no other forum like it on the net. I was so shattered I even stopped seeing my therapist, and I haven't tried talking to anyone since. Well that was a few months ago now and it's all starting to get to me again, and I've felt rather crappy for a few days.

This isn't a 'boo hoo, poor me' opportunity for me, I just thought I'd see if there are others around who are suffering from something too. I know very well that more people are suffering from something than most people realise...

So feel free to share anything...


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## Snakeluvver2 (Mar 16, 2010)

Two of my friends suffer from Bi Polar II disorder 
Its hard to know their cycles sometimes...


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## AMY22 (Mar 16, 2010)

I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar, and depression, and OCD, and ADD was questioned, until I was finally diagnosed with PTSD. From that I know a little on Bi-Polar because my doctor (who had been my doctor my entire life) was convinced that's what was wrong with me. Then he put me on more medication, I gained 15 kilos in 7 weeks, and I never saw him again.


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## naledge (Mar 16, 2010)

My mum has bipolar. My ex-girlfriend had it too, that was just too much for me to deal with, especially because she never took her medication, going off prescribed meds is the worst thing anybody with a mental health issue can do. It took around ten suicide attempts in two months for her to realize that. 

I can only talk to a few people without freaking out, could be some form of social anxiety, probably isn't though, self-diagnosis never works and I don't think it affects my life enough to warrant seeing a professional about it, I can just play it off as being anti-social haha.

I think misdiagnosis in regards to mental health is a bit of a problem, it seems like in the last couple of years so many teenagers I've met have been diagnosed with Bipolar. Like, 25% of people my age that I've met in the last two years. Especially here, our mental health professionals are being extremely overworked, in our city of 30,000, the second largest city in S.A, and only last year we got our first full time psychiatrist.

Another problem is the fact that males don't seek help because they fear that it's a weakness, our societies gender roles really pee me off. In the last five years at my school, five boys and no girls have committed suicide, and, in my opinion, that is solely because the girls are brave enough to seek professional help or talk to there friends. Talking about problems isn't a weakness, it's a strength.

Mental health is a big issue in Australia, it affects so many, and there isn't enough being done about it. Especially with children and teenagers, I've only very recently seen advertising campaigns targeted for a teenage audience from Beyond Blue, more of this would be nice.

I guess to summarize everything I've said; we need more therapists, people need to talk more about their problems rather than just hiding them, especially men. Teenagers have more mental health issues, especially relating to depression, than people give them credit for, and going off prescribed medication is a big mistake.


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## AMY22 (Mar 16, 2010)

I agree 100% with the misdiagnosis. They say one in 3 people have depression. I don't know if I believe that. The reason for that is because I have been diagnosed so quickly in the past, you go to a doctor and say 'I've been feeling really miserable, I don't know what it is, I don't know what's making me feel this way', then the doctor says 'I'm going to put you on some anti-depressants, if they work, it might be depression, if they don't work, it still might be depression'.

I was diagnosed with depression when I was 10, I have been on at LEAST 7 types of medication, non of which did ANYTHING, and then it turns out being depressed was only a symptom of an even bigger issue.
Depression runs in my family, so that's why I was diagnosed so quickly. The thing is though, my doctor knows about my family, and he paid absolutely no attention to anything. He focussed only on how I was feeling, and not what was making me feel that way. So basically it took me so long to be properly diagnosed that I'm screwed basically. My PTSD has completely shaped who I am as a person, how I feel, how I act, what I dream about. 

My advice to people is- if you are told you have depression straight away, go elsewhere. Find someone who will delve more into you issue before making a diagnosis. And if you've been diagnosed with something but it doesn't feel right, even if there are similarities with the symptoms, keep looking for an answer. I knew deep inside there was more to it than what I was being told, and I was right.


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## naledge (Mar 16, 2010)

AMY22 said:


> you go to a doctor and say 'I've been feeling really miserable, I don't know what it is, I don't know what's making me feel this way', then the doctor says 'I'm going to put you on some anti-depressants, if they work, it might be depression, if they don't work, it still might be depression'.



This reminds me of a story I was told by a psychologist. He was hired (in the 70's or something) to assess the mental state of patients being released from a Psychiatric Facility that was being shut down, somewhere in Europe, I think it was Scotland. Anyway, there was a woman that was admitted a long time before, her family admitted her because she cried for three days straight. 

The reason she was crying was because the day it started her husband left her at the altar on their wedding day. Any woman would cry after that, but her doctor diagnosed her with depression and she was admitted. 

She was then subjected to some messed up crap like Shock Therapy and some experimental medications, she went on almost every medication they had, but alas, she was still sad (I wonder why, could it be that her fiancé left her, the torture, being held against her will, the messed up drugs she was put on? God they were useless back then) she was in that facility for around fifty years, they completely messed up her life and her mind.

We've come a long way since then, but there's still a long way to go imo.


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## chickensnake (Mar 16, 2010)

I have panic attacks , whenever i go into a crowded place (mainly with other teens/kids, not usually adults) i just get super stressed and scared usually ends up with me having astma attacks aswell. I also have something else but i cant remember what it is called i was 12 when they told mum i have it i think it starts withe an O or something, i will find out and post it this arvo.


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## melgalea (Mar 16, 2010)

i suffer from severe anxiety attacks, am on extremely strong medication for it, plus have other medication incase they get out of control. have nearly ended up being admitted to hospital quite a few times...
it can get quite bad, the attacks, u cant breath, u cant walk, and u cant leave ur house, u just want to lay in bed and die. 
hav been suffereing from them for about 5 years now. but its slowly gotton better over time. 
i have a fear of things going wrong, catching diseases, dying and all that sorta crap, that is what sparks them. plus i cant handle being around people i dont know and crowds... its a crap thing to deal with, but alot of people have it, i am just one of the unlucky ones that have it quite badly. also have ADD, which my daughter has inherited, but she has bad ADHD. 
cheers
mel


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## Tinky (Mar 16, 2010)

I am currently being treated for depression, however feel that this is related to ongoing relationship issues rather than a mantal issue.

Also I am doing a 'lifestyles' course for alcohoilics, (been dry all year).


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## moosenoose (Mar 16, 2010)

I've had bouts of depression and I wasn't able to pin-point why. It took a visit to the doc to get me back on track, and I think one of the problems many sufferers seem to have is that they don't want to seek help with it, and the repercussions of that being that they spiral further down into the depths. Not a nice place to be! It's good for friends of such people to encourage them as much as possible to seek help. I seem to be back on track these days, but do know where some people have gone with this.

Cheers


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## captive_fairy (Mar 16, 2010)

I have PTSD after I was in a severe car accident and nearly died...i now freak out any time Im in a car if Im not driving...I was also diagnosed with ADHD when I was younger and have more recently been suspected of bipolar


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## junglecarpet (Mar 16, 2010)

captive_fairy said:


> I have PTSD after I was in a severe car accident and nearly died...i now freak out any time Im in a car if Im not driving...I was also diagnosed with ADHD when I was younger and have more recently been suspected of bipolar


I have only just started getting over that as well... I was in 2 car accidents within months of each other (not both me!!) and I would freak out if I wasnt driving or if it was in the wet (my most severe accident was in the wet) The only person I really trust driving me around is my partner as he is very safe when he drives and he knows how I feel about accidents. I still get antsy if its raining or if he is getting close to the person in front of him - even though he is still a safe distance away, I just overreact

I had an extremely effed up childhood and lost my family and I went through an extreme case of depression and was just ready to give up on everything. This went on for years, but one day I just, snapped out of it? I realised that living my life like that was not worth it and that I need to have the willpower to change. Now I am happier than ever! Dont get me wrong, I still have my depressed days where I just feel empty, but they are rare now and usually happen if someone has said something mean to me or yelled at me over the phone (I work in a call centre)


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## Pythonking (Mar 16, 2010)

I top all of you guys my mothers a psychologist, deal with them issues


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## junglecarpet (Mar 16, 2010)

AMY22 - try this forum, I found it helped me ALOT and there are alot of people who can help you not feel so alone

Online Support Groups and Forums at DailyStrength


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## captive_fairy (Mar 16, 2010)

junglecarpet said:


> I have only just started getting over that as well... I was in 2 car accidents within months of each other (not both me!!) and I would freak out if I wasnt driving or if it was in the wet (my most severe accident was in the wet) The only person I really trust driving me around is my partner as he is very safe when he drives and he knows how I feel about accidents. I still get antsy if its raining or if he is getting close to the person in front of him - even though he is still a safe distance away, I just overreact


 
That pretty much says what happens to me...except I cant trust anyone driving except me, I guess cause Im in control...anytime im in a car with someone else driving I have to hold onto the handle and the chair and use the imaginary brake...at first I held on that tight that all my knucles went white and my hands would ache when I got out of the car. My grips loose now its been 7 years but I still have to hold on.


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## captive_fairy (Mar 16, 2010)

Pythonking said:


> I top all of you guys my mothers a psychologist, deal with them issues


 haha...love it


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## junglecarpet (Mar 16, 2010)

captive_fairy said:


> That pretty much says what happens to me...except I cant trust anyone driving except me, I guess cause Im in control...anytime im in a car with someone else driving I have to hold onto the handle and the chair and use the imaginary brake...at first I held on that tight that all my knucles went white and my hands would ache when I got out of the car. My grips loose now its been 7 years but I still have to hold on.


 I was doing that the other day... my roomie got a new car and wanted to take me for a drive and I was holding on and using the imaginary brake and he just laughed at me and said "no brake there" as a joke... not good lol


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## Dotora (Mar 16, 2010)

Im a Mental Health Nurse but ignore this post, I'm going away for a few weeks lol


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## Tinky (Mar 16, 2010)

Pythonking,

Mrs Tinky has a major in Psychology and Biology

Biology => sex
Psychology => Brain

Biology + Psychology => ******ing with your head

As I said, ongoing relationship issues


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## Jewly (Mar 16, 2010)

We have a woman at work who apparently has mental health issues and she really plays on it cause she knows she can't be fired because of it. She lives closest to work but is late every single day and gets away with it. She regularly takes time off work because she's too tired to come in but then is seen to have been on Facebook until the early hours of the morning.

She was even caught out once posting on Facebook that she had a great time at a comedy club one night but had been too ill to come into work for days before this. When she's late, we often ring her to see if she's ok, and you can tell that she's been asleep but she makes out that she's been 'passed out' but then can turn up at work 40 mins later and is absolutely fine.

This week she was caught out hiding paperwork that hadn't been processed in her desk and she also didn't process some credit card payments that she was reminded to do for 3 days in a row and yet nothing happened to her. 

Everyone is getting so jack of her getting away with things and it's causing the office morale to go downhill but the managers are determined to keep her on, why I have no idea cause they have more than enough grounds to fire her. They have recently stopped her from ringing in and talking to the staff cause she wants to go on and on about the dramas in her life for up to 40 mins at a time. Now if she's not coming in or is going to be late, she has to ring the managers direct line but she often calls it knowing that the manager doesn't start until 9am so she knows that someone else in the office will answer it.

Whilst I sympathise with anyone with a mental illness (I've suffered from depression for years myself) it really annoys me when people play on their illness and don't treat others fairly. 

This is how pathethic the situation is. This week they have hired someone to replace her BUT they are still keeping her on, and just taking all responsibility away from her, so that when she doesn't show up for days on end, it doesn't really impact on anyone.


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## junglecarpet (Mar 16, 2010)

Jewly said:


> We have a woman at work who apparently has mental health issues and she really plays on it cause she knows she can't be fired because of it. She lives closest to work but is late every single day and gets away with it. She regularly takes time off work because she's too tired to come in but then is seen to have been on Facebook until the early hours of the morning.
> 
> She was even caught out once posting on Facebook that she had a great time at a comedy club one night but had been too ill to come into work for days before this. When she's late, we often ring her to see if she's ok, and you can tell that she's been asleep but she makes out that she's been 'passed out' but then can turn up at work 40 mins later and is absolutely fine.
> 
> ...


 I can see how the managers are cornered I guess you could say and they would be concerned that her state of mind would get worse if she was fired... but maybe she needs MORE help, she might have a personality disorder or something along those lines? From what you have said, she seems to crave attention and by doing all of this, she is getting attention

Thats just my 2 cents worth


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## Jewly (Mar 16, 2010)

junglecarpet said:


> I can see how the managers are cornered I guess you could say and they would be concerned that her state of mind would get worse if she was fired... but maybe she needs MORE help, she might have a personality disorder or something along those lines? From what you have said, she seems to crave attention and by doing all of this, she is getting attention
> 
> Thats just my 2 cents worth


 
She definitely does crave attention but everyone is over it. She made out once that her mother was kicking her out of home (she's 28 years old) and so 2 women at work took time off to go and help her find a place and they found a really nice house for her to rent close to work and then she decided that she was going to stay at her mother's place. 

She makes mountains out of molehills, like trying to make out that I had hung up on her the other day when I didn't, but I'm just so sick and tired of taking her call every morning saying she's going to be late. I wasn't rude to her, but I was short with her, cause if you give her an inch she takes a mile and you can't get her off the phone. She is seeing a specialist and she is on medication but she often doesn't take her medication cause she thinks she knows more than the doctors.

While I do feel for the girl, this is a workplace and if the managers had to take into consideration the mental state of everyone that they had to fire, no one would ever get fired. It's a business, not a charity and although it is a large family business and they are very caring towards their staff, in this case I believe they have gone overboard.


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## SyKeD (Mar 16, 2010)

I've got Depression, Anxiety, OCD, i think thats about it....can't go clubbing in the city because too many people and freaks me out and i can't enjoy my self. unless i was with a really close friend. just little things that put me out of my comfort zone that really gets to me.


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## thals (Mar 16, 2010)

I too suffer with depression and an eating disorder. Did suffer quite a few years in my teens with severe panic attacks, used to get several of these a day, wouldn't go in lifts, cars etc...but am happy to say they no longer trouble me anymore, only when and IF I decide to get on a plane, flying is my weakness lol.


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## junglecarpet (Mar 16, 2010)

Jewly said:


> She definitely does crave attention but everyone is over it. She made out once that her mother was kicking her out of home (she's 28 years old) and so 2 women at work took time off to go and help her find a place and they found a really nice house for her to rent close to work and then she decided that she was going to stay at her mother's place.
> 
> She makes mountains out of molehills, like trying to make out that I had hung up on her the other day when I didn't, but I'm just so sick and tired of taking her call every morning saying she's going to be late. I wasn't rude to her, but I was short with her, cause if you give her an inch she takes a mile and you can't get her off the phone. She is seeing a specialist and she is on medication but she often doesn't take her medication cause she thinks she knows more than the doctors.
> 
> While I do feel for the girl, this is a workplace and if the managers had to take into consideration the mental state of everyone that they had to fire, no one would ever get fired. It's a business, not a charity and although it is a large family business and they are very caring towards their staff, in this case I believe they have gone overboard.


The managers need to decide between the rest of their dedicated staff and her. I know thats hard but maybe if a few of you talk to them about it and let them know your feelings and that its affecting your work... because it obviously is


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## AMY22 (Mar 16, 2010)

Tinky said:


> Also I am doing a 'lifestyles' course for alcohoilics, (been dry all year).


 
Trust me when I say I am REALLY happy for you. Alcoholism runs in my family, and it's one of the reasons for my PTSD, I can't even smell alcohol or listen to people talk about drinking without getting flashbacks. It of course has a great effect on my social life...




captive_fairy said:


> I have PTSD after I was in a severe car accident and nearly died...i now freak out any time Im in a car if Im not driving...I was also diagnosed with ADHD when I was younger and have more recently been suspected of bipolar


 
I am a bit of a back seat driver now, I did go through one phase when I was terrified of being in cars, my grandfather is the best driver I know but even with him I was on the edge, and I'd have nightmares about driving too.



junglecarpet said:


> AMY22 - try this forum, I found it helped me ALOT and there are alot of people who can help you not feel so alone
> 
> Online Support Groups and Forums at DailyStrength


 
Thanks I'll check it out, I don't think it was the forum that attacked me!



Jewly said:


> We have a woman at work who apparently has mental health issues and she really plays on it cause she knows she can't be fired because of it. She lives closest to work but is late every single day and gets away with it. She regularly takes time off work because she's too tired to come in but then is seen to have been on Facebook until the early hours of the morning.
> 
> She was even caught out once posting on Facebook that she had a great time at a comedy club one night but had been too ill to come into work for days before this. When she's late, we often ring her to see if she's ok, and you can tell that she's been asleep but she makes out that she's been 'passed out' but then can turn up at work 40 mins later and is absolutely fine.
> 
> ...


 
I know what you mean, I've known one or 2 people who use their illness as a way to get out of things and use it as an excuse or a means of sympathy. I guess that's one of the reasons I don't like to talk about it as much, but I am very insecure of how I come across and feel like I'm coming across as being dramatic.


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## Funkstaa (Mar 16, 2010)

People that use mental health as a get out of jail free card infuriate me - I personally feel like they give the rest of us a bad name, I've struggled with my bi polar since I was a teen ocd is on and off I appologise to my kids constantly for it... and as much as I've learnt through and about it sometimes it feels like you're always in that black hole- I hate that I can't take my daughter to school or pick her up as I can't handle crowds I've been to her class room twice - with an escape plan tee hee.
It's good to see so many people being open about this monkey on our backs.
I hate the stigma of mental health, but it's good to be in a place where people get you ..
Even better to see so many people refusing to be defeated by it : )


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## MrThumper (Mar 16, 2010)

Hi all,
up until recently, I hid from the world and my family what was wrong with me. At the age of 17 I found out I have a rare disease called Behcets...and worse still, the worst kind, neuro behcets. I have lesions on my brain that have and will continue to affect me. 

Due to this disease, I've had 3 deep vein thrombosis by the age of 30 and the last one put me into cardiac arrest. 

For years I'd been told I suffer from depression and for years I was medicated and yet I still left my wife and kids 3 times when I was down and out, asked for divorce and everything. Very hard on two young girls under the age of 10 and very hard on the woman Id been together with since we were both 12 years old. 

Six months ago, after various GP's and shrinks, I found a shrink that diagnosed me with Bipolar II and took me off antidepressants immediately. She put me onto a drug called Seroquel and the last few months I've felt reborn! Antidepressants can cause bipolar to be worse so if ur on them and no change or feeling worse, get a referral to a good shrink and see what happens. 

Only since I've picked up have I been able to share my story with my family...and now u guys too. 

The first step is admitting something is wrong. If anyone is really at wits end and wants to talk, my channel is open. I'm no GP or shrink but I've learnt and experienced alot, so feel free to PM me

my name is Cris, I have the most beautiful wife and the most gorgeous girls. My life was in shambles but now I'm the happiest I've ever been


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## grannieannie (Mar 16, 2010)

I've had severe depression for over 10 yrs,(well that's when it was officially diagnosed) haven't been in hospital with it for almost 5 years, but will always be on meds and have to adjust my life style to be as stress free as possible. It's something I manage, but life will always be a struggle. I've had years of therapy, group and one on one and a few stays in psych wards.........I get on with life as best as I can and mostly enjoy it.


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## waruikazi (Mar 16, 2010)

Are there non medicinal ways of dealing with depression? I don't like the idea of people having to be drugged up to feel like they can survive living.


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## Wallypod (Mar 16, 2010)

I used to suffer depression cut my body up pretty bad but that's 5 years behind me now


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## Jonno from ERD (Mar 16, 2010)

Gordo,

Medication is just one piece of the puzzle, and is most useful when used in conjunction with therapy such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and other management techniques (diet, exercise, routines etc). They aren't designed to be a "fix-all" but more so take the edge off the ups and downs so people can get their lives together...


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## naledge (Mar 16, 2010)

waruikazi said:


> Are there non medicinal ways of dealing with depression? I don't like the idea of people having to be drugged up to feel like they can survive living.



Therapy isn't a medication and that helps.

Also, I believe there are many natural remedies that have been proven to help.


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## AMY22 (Mar 16, 2010)

Medication isn't the sole solution to deal with depression. It's more to take the edge off so you have that little bit of extra sanity to be able to better yourself. I am a little bit of a medication nazi myself, after my bad experiences with it, but I do know people who swear by their meds. 
I do not think medication should be handed out as a quick fix, and I think people should be offered more help than just 'here take this once a day'.

A few things that could help with depression might be hypnotherapy (expensive), meditation, keeping a diary, talking about it (as hard as it is, and obviously if you can find someone willing to listen), therapy.

Remember if you do all these things, and still you don't feel better, I would recommend, seeing a therapist to find out if there may be more to it that previously thought (as I found out).


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## cris (Mar 16, 2010)

I think i may have bain dramage, possibly addicted to alcohol since i stopped my herbal meds.


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## AMY22 (Mar 16, 2010)

What makes you think you have brain damage Cris?


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## schizmz (Mar 16, 2010)

Hi,ive been treated for bi-polar2/mania since it was called manic depression.so about 20 years now.:shock:...done it all."except est" which my doctor tried to talk me into lol..so.i have had alot of good times when i can get a job etc but then it kicks in and im stuffed for another couple of months..its a nightmare i wouldn't wish on anyone. 3yrs ive been on a pension now..and i used to earn over $1000 a week driving trucks.so we all know what comes next..no money =.bye bye wife and kids... And the guilt!!... right now writing this i feel bad that i should be out there with the rest of society,, not chatting on the net...but i cant atm.currently my meds seem to be helping and im hoping to return to some form of work this year.my doctor wants me to change careers though.. sigh..says sitting in a truck all day with nothing but your own thoughts is not good... mm ok....anyways if anyone ever wants to talk about bi-polar/depression etc feel free to pm me anytime..there are some things that cant be said here due to little kids reading this..but to you all... good luck.


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## mebebrian (Mar 16, 2010)

Best advice is to seek profesional advice mate.


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## naledge (Mar 16, 2010)

mebebrian said:


> Best advice is to seek profesional advice mate.



I agree.


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## serpenttongue (Mar 16, 2010)

I have suffered from depression for years, and still do.


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## schizmz (Mar 16, 2010)

Thats the problem when we self medicate..cris..unforseen dangers ahead...again i cant go into details or ill be reported..but self medication can and does often work.. im 41 and its only the last 3 yrs i cant take it anymore..i did ok for 30 odd years ,but one day i ended up in hospital..and here i am....like i said anyone who wants to just talk sometime.. im here.


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## cris (Mar 16, 2010)

AMY22 said:


> What makes you think you have brain damage Cris?



I cant remember what made me think that :? :lol: It not a major problem, but studies have shown if you drink and stuff as much as i have it causes damage. In reality i dont think its a problem because i know its a problem, if that makes any sense:?

Apart from keeping snakes i dont think i have any mental disorders.

I also believe PTSD can be successfully treated in many cases, there are new treatments being devolped too, i saw a doco about it on the weekend on how it works. Apparently the US military were/are developing a drug that disconnects the part of the brain responsible too.


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## schizmz (Mar 16, 2010)

Sound like we need a.. "the doctor is in" section


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## AMY22 (Mar 16, 2010)

cris said:


> I cant remember what made me think that :? :lol: It not a major problem, but studies have shown if you drink and stuff as much as i have it causes damage. In reality i dont think its a problem because i know its a problem, if that makes any sense:?
> 
> Apart from keeping snakes i dont think i have any mental disorders.
> 
> I also believe PTSD can be successfully treated in many cases, there are new treatments being devolped too, i saw a doco about it on the weekend on how it works. Apparently the US military were/are developing a drug that disconnects the part of the brain responsible too.


 
Yes drinking can affect certain parts of your brain. That's one of the reasons why there is an age limit for drinking, youger people who over-drink can damage parts of their brain (I can't remember but I think it was either the social or emotional part) that is still developing during puberty. I am against underage drinking, and I don't approve of parents who give their 14 year olds alcohol, especially with the 'it's safer this way because I know what they are doing' excuse.
About half my family is alcoholics including both my parents, it is actually genetic in my family, and the depression that also runs in my family probably has something to do with that. It is one of the reasons I don't drink, other than alcohol being a trigger for me. Such a fool I would be to indulge in such things. 

As for curing PTSD, I think in some cases it can be depending on the cause of it. I think PTSD from a one off situation like a car accident might have more chance of being cured than PTSD like mine. It was lots of things over a long period of time and was diagnosed years after it should have been, I am literally shaped by it, for my PTSD to be cured would be a complete change of myself as a person. There are things I do want fixed for sure, but I don't have a great deal of hope for it.


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## schizmz (Mar 16, 2010)

sadly there is no "cure" for mental illness .. only manageability..8).


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## AMY22 (Mar 16, 2010)

schizmz said:


> Sound like we need a.. "the doctor is in" section


 
Doctor Amy is in da house! Tell me all your problems.








I charge $10 a minute


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## AMY22 (Mar 16, 2010)

schizmz said:


> sadly there is no "cure" for mental illness .. only manageability..8).


 That includes addictions as well  The biggest mistake is thinking you can 'control' you drinking, etc. now. I've seen people relaps 5 hours after being discharged.


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## schizmz (Mar 16, 2010)

And with denial comes desire..abstinence is just another form of control over you as is the addiction..there must be a centre.  If a string is to tight it will snap..to loose it will not work..follow the middle path.


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## waruikazi (Mar 16, 2010)

I love analogies, unfortunately there is one to suit every argument.


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## Southside Morelia (Mar 16, 2010)

It's interesting how many people do suffer from mental health issues....whats MORE interesting is how many people DO SUFFER from mental health issues are are misdiagnosed or NOT treated at all because they don't know their actually affected.
Mental health affects most people at some point in their lives, BUT in varying degrees. This is a great thread. I too do suffer with anxiety and mild depression as a result of PTSD or so they say.... and I do take a medication which alters the chemical imbalance in my brain to control what my body cant. I also have a pre-disposition to anxiety, as it is hereditary as is most mental health issues and 2 of my older siblings and my Dad suffer as well, but all of us are in control of it.
I was treated for 3years + with counseling at UNSW and private psych's, which was great for learning about the illness and knowing how to break the cycle of certain types that I suffered from...I have learn't how to break that cycle from spiraling into full-blown attacks. I could talk for hours, so good luck to everyone out there that do suffer from a mental health disease, you can manage it successfully as I have!
All the best!


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## abbott75 (Mar 17, 2010)

I have a lot of friends who suffer from depression and one with an eating disorder. My girlfriend battled self-injury for 2 years and is only just getting control back. She can't even show her arms in her own house because the scars are so bad, and her mother cannot look at them.

All I can say to anybody who is suffering is please, please get help. It shouldn't take two suicide attempts before you tell someone you are suffering...


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## lex10 (Mar 19, 2010)

Wow, i'm so surprised at how many of us struggle with this or know someone who does. I've had very severe depression "etc" (big etc lol) for 20 years.


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## naledge (Mar 19, 2010)

AMY22 said:


> That includes addictions as well  The biggest mistake is thinking you can 'control' you drinking, etc. now. I've seen people relaps 5 hours after being discharged.



That's not true.

My dad was a really bad alcoholic, he started drinking when he was twelve.

He gave up when he was about 25 and he hasn't had a drop of alcohol in the 26 years since.

You can definitely overcome addictions, anyone can. You just need to want to bad enough, my mum told him if he didn't stop drinking she'd leave him, that was enough to make him want to stop.


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## Snake_Whisperer (Mar 19, 2010)

I battled depression for most of my life and dabbled a lot with self-medication. Once I hit my thirties, started getting anxiety as well. Went to a doc, tried medication, hated the side effects so quit those. Saw plenty of councellors over the years, they all identified the depression and anxiety, noted my aversion to crowds, parties, other peoples' rubbish, etc... Still, the only help I found for myself was a decent diet and exercise. Took the edge off but nowhere near an end to the issues. 

Luckily after a 3 day blue with my missus, she piped up with the shot "What the hell is your problem?!? Do you have *bleeping* Aspergers or something?!?!" After a bit of researh and a follow up consult with the doc, turns out the answer was "Yes, yes I do indeed have Aspergers!" This was the elephant in the room that none of the professionals I had previously spoken with managed to identify, they could name the symptoms but not the cause. This discovery has turned my life around and after 36 years of being mostly miserable, I am finally starting to feel better about everything!

For all of you suffering from chronic depression, anxiety, and if you have "social" issues, ie: you can't handle being around too many strangers or tense up when someone enters your space, etc... Aspergers is a potential candidate. 

When I joined a support group, it was a group for parents with kids with Aspergers, they were stoked to have me on board to see where it leads in adulthood, one of the speakers had a good long chat with me about my life and when I mentioned my business/hobby (snakes and enclosures) she almost peed herself because that sort of thing is classic Aspie behaviour! It turns out even my python obsession is a side effect of this condition!

It is something to consider though a professional diagnosis is tough to get as this condition was only described in 1994 and not a lot of work has been done with adults with Aspergers.

There are a few online tests around, Google will help point the way. Include Simon Baron-Cohen in your search as he is an Aspergers specialist (and happens to be Borat's cousin!).


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## shellfisch (Mar 19, 2010)

Snake_Whisperer said:


> For all of you suffering from chronic depression, anxiety, and if you have "social" issues, ie: you can't handle being around too many strangers or tense up when someone enters your space, etc... Aspergers is a potential candidate.



Good call. 
This exact situation has happened very recently with a family member. 
For years, my sister-in-law had issues (small, but there) with her husband. Exacerbated in the last year or two by the last child leaving home ie; now it's just the two of them.
After arguing and not talking over a few days, she finally threw the same thing at him. 
Well, it was like a light coming on! He went and got tested, and yes it is there, and it turns out one of their 3 sons has it as well.
Early days yet, but hopefully he will benefit from some help


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## Jewly (Mar 19, 2010)

naledge said:


> That's not true.
> 
> My dad was a really bad alcoholic, he started drinking when he was twelve.
> 
> ...


 
Whilst your dad hasn't had a drink in 26 years, he is still an alcoholic. If he started drinking again, he probably wouldn't be able to control it and I think that's what was meant by AMY22.

Alcoholics can't just stop drinking for a period and then say, 'I'm just going to have one'. They have to stop drinking altogether and for some people it can be a lifelong struggle. That includes even keeping away from people who do drink or not attending social events where there will be the temptation to drink.


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## snakelvr (Mar 19, 2010)

waruikazi said:


> Are there non medicinal ways of dealing with depression? I don't like the idea of people having to be drugged up to feel like they can survive living.


 
I suffered from depression for 8 years - then I tried Yoga. Best decision I ever made. Haven't taken any meds since


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## shellfisch (Mar 19, 2010)

Another thought - Coeliac Disease (gluten intolerance)

My youngest daughter was diagnosed with depression when she was about 16-17. 
It was 3 years battling with this till a doctor made the connection between her symptoms and that of Coeliac Disease. I had dismissed Coeliac Disease as a possibility because she didn't present in the typical way.
The difference in her symptoms now that she is on a gluten free diet is amazing.
The depression is not gone, but she is SO much better 

Coeliac Disease is very often genetic/hereditary also.


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## Poggle (Mar 19, 2010)

Jewly said:


> Whilst your dad hasn't had a drink in 26 years, he is still an alcoholic. If he started drinking again, he probably wouldn't be able to control it and I think that's what was meant by AMY22.
> 
> Alcoholics can't just stop drinking for a period and then say, 'I'm just going to have one'. They have to stop drinking altogether and for some people it can be a lifelong struggle. That includes even keeping away from people who do drink or not attending social events where there will be the temptation to drink.


 
My mates dad is a perfect example. Was an alco and stopped drinking when he was 30... started drinking again 18months ago... They buried him 2 weeks ago.

I myself have just come good from suffering from depression. I had an accident at work last yr which caused me to have 30 siezures in 24 hrs... From this it caused me to lose my job, my licence, my memory for a short time, the ability to walk property and talk properly.

I didnt even know i had developed depression at the time, was just lucky i had good family caring for me. The medication i was put on to stop me having siezure was a depressant so it made me feel worse and worse and i was unable to take anti depressant because of cross medication reaction.

I know how low some can feel, i lost a lot, but ya have to remember you are still here  and tomorrow is a brand new day, every mornging i got up i was made to look at positivethings by my partner, and each moment she reminded me of all the good things i still had in my life.

It is so worth it to get help, life can be great especially when you have special people to share it with.

cheers,

Pog


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## Snakewoman (Mar 19, 2010)

I have Tourettes Syndrome, ADD and OCD, Social Anxiety Disorder and some PTSD. I'm on anxiety medication, and it's helped with everything. I realised just how much it was helping when I ran out of it. :? I didn't get anxious, instead I got extremely angry. I'd never felt that level of anger before, and I was scared of myself 

The PTSD came from the year 2006. I was attending a church in Melbourne, and I always took the train. I got on at Marshall station, and took my usual spot at the front. About 20 minutes later the train hit a car at a level crossing in Corio. All I could see were rocks flying past the windows and I thought I was going to die.

The car was an absolute mess, quite scary to look at, but thankfully I never saw a body. A few days after the crash I suffered multiple heart palpitations, and although these aren't harmful they were scary! I saw the man's death notice in the paper, and I attended his funeral, I figured it would help and it did. 

Since then I've avoided sitting at the front of a train, and if there was a significant bump in the track it would cause me great fear. I'm much better now, but still a little apprehensive when taking trains. 

I'm surprised to see this many others with similar problems to mine. Happy to chat with anyone if you need it


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## Snake_Whisperer (Mar 19, 2010)

Tahlia said:


> I have Tourettes Syndrome, ADD and OCD, Social Anxiety Disorder and some PTSD. I'm on anxiety medication, and it's helped with everything. I realised just how much it was helping when I ran out of it. :? I didn't get anxious, instead I got extremely angry. I'd never felt that level of anger before, and I was scared of myself
> 
> The PTSD came from the year 2006. I was attending a church in Melbourne, and I always took the train. I got on at Marshall station, and took my usual spot at the front. About 20 minutes later the train hit a car at a level crossing in Corio. All I could see were rocks flying past the windows and I thought I was going to die.
> 
> ...


 
Hi Talia,

Tourettes, ADD, OCD, and SAD are quite frequently symptomatic of Aspergers or several other members of the Autism spectrum. Might be worth having a chat to your doctor about it next time you see them!


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## Asharee133 (Mar 19, 2010)

I have severe depression, severe anxiety and this isn't a mental illness but its taking its toll on stress! i have Prolonged qt syndrome, and my stupid lexipro 10mg isn't working.


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## shellfisch (Mar 19, 2010)

Asharee133 said:


> stupid lexipro 10mg isn't working./QUOTE]
> 
> Go back and see your doc? There are so many other meds you could try.


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## Asharee133 (Mar 19, 2010)

i can't take muchh because of my heart  if i need any meds i gotta see my pediatrician


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## Sofoula88 (Mar 19, 2010)

Pretty sure I have depression..haven't been officially diagnosed and most ppl dnt see it..but yer ..I guess I try to hide it and do it well sometimes but other times it's pretty damn obvious..I dnt know how long I've had it but I'd say around 3-4 yrs


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## naledge (Mar 19, 2010)

Jewly said:


> Whilst your dad hasn't had a drink in 26 years, he is still an alcoholic. If he started drinking again, he probably wouldn't be able to control it and I think that's what was meant by AMY22.
> 
> Alcoholics can't just stop drinking for a period and then say, 'I'm just going to have one'. They have to stop drinking altogether and for some people it can be a lifelong struggle. That includes even keeping away from people who do drink or not attending social events where there will be the temptation to drink.



Ohhhhhhhh. I understand now haha. Sorry.


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## Southside Morelia (Mar 19, 2010)

That's awesome you found out the problem.....I am looking for a solution without the meds as i don't want to be taking them for ever. Although even 1 day for me, I physically feel it, then I start to get knarchy and short tempered not at work but at home and the missus says "are you taking your medication" she always knows as does my Mum lol. I have a stressful job, i'm an Operations Manager for a large Company and have been in this and similar roles for 15 years, I wonder sometimes if I had a low stress job would I be better.....No way, as I have an overactive mind and need that in my life as do many people with similar disorders...lol I am going to research the Aspergers, thanks for the informative post. It's refreshing and easy to chat about personal issues like these with people who do suffer, as they can totally appreciate the affect it has on ones way of life....it is a battle sometimes but you can win that battle!
An after thought and a point Tahlia has brought up regarding PTSD, I too have had 2 near death experiences where I completely severed my femoral artery and femoral vein in my leg while working in the bush out the back of Yass NSW, i nearly died through blood loss and had all types of emergency surgery to save me. I was off work for 12 months. Then about 5 years later i was hit head on by a drunk driver who was traveling nearly 100k's or so they said and was trapped in my car and had to be cut out...it was on the news and everything.....I think this may have helped in my screwed up ways sometimes....LOL
Cheers guys....



Snake_Whisperer said:


> I battled depression for most of my life and dabbled a lot with self-medication. Once I hit my thirties, started getting anxiety as well. Went to a doc, tried medication, hated the side effects so quit those. Saw plenty of councellors over the years, they all identified the depression and anxiety, noted my aversion to crowds, parties, other peoples' rubbish, etc... Still, the only help I found for myself was a decent diet and exercise. Took the edge off but nowhere near an end to the issues.
> 
> Luckily after a 3 day blue with my missus, she piped up with the shot "What the hell is your problem?!? Do you have *bleeping* Aspergers or something?!?!" After a bit of research and a follow up consult with the doc, turns out the answer was "Yes, yes I do indeed have Aspergers!" This was the elephant in the room that none of the professionals I had previously spoken with managed to identify, they could name the symptoms but not the cause. This discovery has turned my life around and after 36 years of being mostly miserable, I am finally starting to feel better about everything!
> 
> ...


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## cris (Mar 19, 2010)

snakelvr said:


> I suffered from depression for 8 years - then I tried Yoga. Best decision I ever made. Haven't taken any meds since



Things like Yoga (especially the herbs lol) and Tai Chi are very useful and very under-rated by many of our primative and arrogant western medical idiots. IMO a large portion of mental problems are caused by environemntal influences rather than actual physically related brain problems. IMO our modern society is mental poison, you need to be able to be separate from it to be sane.


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## Southside Morelia (Mar 19, 2010)

It does help, although any physical exercise does...I have trained MA for 20 years next year as people who know me on here will attest, but it is not a cure for a chemical imbalance in the brain, but it does contribute to an overall treatment plan for sure!


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## AMY22 (Mar 19, 2010)

naledge said:


> That's not true.
> 
> My dad was a really bad alcoholic, he started drinking when he was twelve.
> 
> ...


 


Jewly said:


> Whilst your dad hasn't had a drink in 26 years, he is still an alcoholic. If he started drinking again, he probably wouldn't be able to control it and I think that's what was meant by AMY22.
> 
> Alcoholics can't just stop drinking for a period and then say, 'I'm just going to have one'. They have to stop drinking altogether and for some people it can be a lifelong struggle. That includes even keeping away from people who do drink or not attending social events where there will be the temptation to drink.


 


naledge said:


> Ohhhhhhhh. I understand now haha. Sorry.


 
Yeah sorry maybe I worded what I meant wrong. What I meant was pretty much what Jewly said. By control I didn't mean you can never have the capability of never drinking again, I meant although you can STOP drinking, if you are a true alcoholic then having any alcohol 'in moderation' is a big fat no. After my mamma got out of rehab I did my own group thing (It's a long story about how I started going but I think it was kind of one of those self help groups for addicts or those who have lived with one). Anyway while I was there it was explained how an addiction is caused. I'll try my best to explain it so it makes sense-

Most people have endorphins in there body and that's what makes us happy, etc. but people who are real addict don't have endorphins but a neurochemical called tetrahydroquinolin which has an almost exact molecular structure as an endorphin. If you've ever heard an addict say 'I wish I could stop but it's like there is something in side of me that won't let me', that's the TIQ's. So they replace the endorphins and cause that craving and need for these substances or or situations (alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc.). If you have TIQ's then you will always have them, they replace all the endorphins, therefore the addiction is always there. People can relaps without knowing the cause (eg. cough medicine can have the same amount of alcohol as a standard drink). 
They can also pass down through generations, it is in both sides of my family so the chances of me having an 'addict' inside me, so to speak, are almost certain. Hence one of the reasons why I don't drink. 

I hope that made a bit of sense? People can definitely control there addictions, but to think you are no longer an addict and can go out and have a few with some friends now because you can contorl it is a risky thing...


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## AMY22 (Mar 19, 2010)

I'm really glad there are other people on here who suffer from PTSD, in my real life I know nobody who has it, I don't think I even know anybody who has any idea what it is unless I've told them. The hardest part is explaining it, I can't say 'I have depression', 'I have ADD', 'I have a drinking problem', you know, things that people KNOW of. I have to go through the whole 'what is PTSD?' 'why do you have PTSD?', and then comes... the advice. I don't need advice from someone who doesn't even know what PTSD is thanks.
I can easily explain what PTSD is, I can tell people why I have PTSD if they ask (although it's uncomfortable for me), but there are some aspects I can't share because people get so nasty about it.
Anyone who has triggers and flashbacks knows that you can't help feeling a certain way in certain situations no matter how much you wish otherwise. I think that might be the hardest part for others to understand, a situation that might be a simple everyday thing to most people, ie. getting in a car, being in a relationship, hanging out with friends, can be absolute torture to someone with PTSD. Just a certain sound of smell can change your mood in an instant.


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## Blondie84 (Mar 19, 2010)

I have suffered with anxiety, panic attacks, depression and mild OCD for many years, with the depression being the latest addition (officially) in the last 12 months. I am a special ed teacher and have always had an affinity for students on the autism spectrum. 

Recently, after telling a friend with Aspergers about one of my meltdowns, he raised the idea of me possibly having Aspergers... I kinda just brushed him off but then within the week another friend, whose 4 yr old son is autistic, mentioned that she thought that I had it too. So I decided i would speak to my doctor about it next time, next time... keep putting it off!!

Then yesterday i was speaking with the therapist who works with my autistic boys at school, about my boys and then just general chit chat and SHE said that she thought it would be an idea for me to get formally assessed. So i think i do need to see that doctor.

On the issue of medications, while i do believe that they ARE often over prescribed or prescribed prematurely, there are some cases where they are necessary. I would fight to the death with anyone who tried to tell me that ritalin does not benefit some of my boys with ADHD. Yes there are others that it does nothing for, and it is my recommendation that other treatments be trialled but in some cases, medication is a necessity.

For myself, without meaning to sound overly dramatic, but i KNOW for a fact that if it werent for my SSRI anti-depressants I would have been dead 12 months ago. 

I think the reason a lot of people have issues and doubts about mental health issues is that they are not tangible. They can not be seen, so how can you be sure they even exist. Even knowing this, it bugs the hell out of me when people try to make light of mental health issues. Eg. "Oh you're depressed... just cheer up, ur life isnt that bad". "PTSD?!?! Isnt that what Vietnam veterans use as an excuse?!?!" etc etc... Nothing annoys me more, me with my depression etc and my dad with PTSD. Anyway... just my 2c (well more like $20.... )


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## Southside Morelia (Mar 19, 2010)

Definitely Blondie, meds are sometimes necessary..... keep up the good work, people like you are a benefit to the community!

Funny story, my older Brother is soo smart, the smartest of 5 kids, he was in the top 5% in HSC, he was been a Marine Biologist (completed Uni and practiced in QLD) a Primary School Teacher & then adult Education Teacher and then owned his own successful Vintage Cellar Bottle shop. Now he Councils people affected with mental illnesses....go figure he is nuts and eccentric to start with, what better person to council people with the same affliction! Takes one to know one and his medical CV plus his brains got him the job,,,,lol He's a smart dude but manic...lol




Blondie84 said:


> I have suffered with anxiety, panic attacks, depression and mild OCD for many years, with the depression being the latest addition (officially) in the last 12 months. I am a special ed teacher and have always had an affinity for students on the autism spectrum.
> 
> Recently, after telling a friend with Aspergers about one of my meltdowns, he raised the idea of me possibly having Aspergers... I kinda just brushed him off but then within the week another friend, whose 4 yr old son is autistic, mentioned that she thought that I had it too. So I decided i would speak to my doctor about it next time, next time... keep putting it off!!
> 
> ...


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## Blondie84 (Mar 19, 2010)

Thanks Southside! I try to help where i can!


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## AMY22 (Mar 19, 2010)

Speaking of mental issues, I've just found out that one of my friends who I met in California 2 years ago is currently being held hostage by his father. This does NOT add any relief from my already terrible day.


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## Snakewoman (Mar 19, 2010)

That sucks Amy22  Many people are very ignorant about mental disorders, and are very quick to tell you what to do, how to feel and what to think, but they don't have what we do and really don't have a clue... there's nothing worse than people who act like they know everything when they don't, best to get those people out of your life if you can. I'm glad people on here are being so open and honest about this stuff, keep it up, it's good for all of us


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## AMY22 (Mar 19, 2010)

Blondie84 said:


> I have suffered with anxiety, panic attacks, depression and mild OCD for many years, with the depression being the latest addition (officially) in the last 12 months. I am a special ed teacher and have always had an affinity for students on the autism spectrum.
> 
> Recently, after telling a friend with Aspergers about one of my meltdowns, he raised the idea of me possibly having Aspergers... I kinda just brushed him off but then within the week another friend, whose 4 yr old son is autistic, mentioned that she thought that I had it too. So I decided i would speak to my doctor about it next time, next time... keep putting it off!!
> 
> ...


 
One thing I HATE is when people try and make you 'lighten up'. When I was 19 I went through a completely low stage, I had a total breakdown and was just miserable. This was just before I was diagnosed with PTSD by the way so at this point I didn't have any answer. I was also doing Animal Studies at the time and I remember sitting with 2 people in my group one day. Their advice to me was 'if you just pretend to be happy then you will be happy. And what GREAT advice that was, all my problems have just melted away and I live happily with no misery of my past at all...

It's the same with PTSD, unless you have it or know someone with it it's hard to comprehend what it's like. A lot of people have said to me they find it a bit confusing. I was diagnosed 3 years ago and I STILL am learning about it. I can understand that some people will think that someone with PTSD may be over-reacting in certain situations, but please try and have a little bit of empathy, it's bad enough as it is!


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## Hooglabah (Mar 19, 2010)

havent been diagnosed but several people recon i should be checked for paranoia. 
i get really anxious if im out in the Melbourne cbd or on public transport that sombody is going to attack me i avoid people who look suss to the point where i will get off a train well before my stop to avoid them. I hardly sleep so i can be ready for any situation that may arise be it invasion or random attack by undesirables.

i dunno maybe im just silly but i feel that if nobody else is going to be ready for these things at least i should be.


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## Snake_Whisperer (Mar 19, 2010)

For anyone considering looking into diagnosis for Aspergers, in Queensland at least, I have to say, ring Minds & Hearts in Brisbane. It is run by Tony Atwood, one of the foremost experts on the subject in the world .

Scott, if you ever want to have a chin wag, my number is in my sig!

Blondie, may be worth your while to at least look into it. I know my depression and anxiety were becoming crippling. It was amazing how by just becoming aware of the situation, my incidences of meltdown dropped off dramatically! Hope you can find some answers!


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## Southside Morelia (Mar 19, 2010)

Ha That's funny man, I can say that without being disrespectful....If we can all have a laugh at the silliness of the affliction, this will make us aware that it is NOT all that bad and maybe you can see from anothers perspective and weigh up what is actually going on. "most" people can handle that stuff, so why can't I??? Think about it....know what I mean? it is all in the head anyways...lol
Even though it is an issue to you Hooglabah, it's a figment of your imagination and unless you look like Brad Pitt, no one is after you , UNLESS you put yourself in that "circle" and situation that people may well want to take you out.
I am a firm believer, that IF you mix with the wrong crowd and put yourself into that circle of people that CAN and WILL do you harm, you are then at risk. You can always avoid the violence and situations you are scared of in life (most of the time) if YOU don't put yourself in that situation or mix with that crowd.
Look at the stats...if you deal or take drugs, you are drawn into dealing with that element of Society, a different way to view life and a risk to most....in the eyes of someone who has seen this way of life or who has had involvement in this culture through law enforcement or addiction whether social or harder, this obviously increases your chances of being a victim, correct?
Man, if you are NOT involved with the element of Society that play by these rules, your chances of being a victim are minimized dramatically, agree?
So in conclusion, your everyday life shouldn't make you feel as though someone is out to get you as you are going about your daily Business like 20M other Aussies do daily....yeh?


Hooglabah said:


> havent been diagnosed but several people recon i should be checked for paranoia.
> i get really anxious if im out in the Melbourne cbd or on public transport that sombody is going to attack me i avoid people who look suss to the point where i will get off a train well before my stop to avoid them. I hardly sleep so i can be ready for any situation that may arise be it invasion or random attack by undesirables.
> 
> i dunno maybe im just silly but i feel that if nobody else is going to be ready for these things at least i should be.


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## Southside Morelia (Mar 19, 2010)

Snake_Whisperer said:


> It is run by Tony Atwood, one of the foremost experts on the subject in the world .
> Scott, if you ever want to have a chin wag, my number is in my sig!


Most definitely, that would be tops...I'd like to find out more on the Aspergers thingy...lol
Thanks for sharing, its been so useful to a heap of people here i'm sure that are battling out there. Me myself, i am in control but being inquisitive about his whole mental disorder thing, makes me more focused to find out more, as I don't want my kids going through the same thing as I did, as it is statistically hereditary and more likely to affect them than not.


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## serpenttongue (Mar 19, 2010)

AMY22 said:


> One thing I HATE is when people try and make you 'lighten up'.


 
As do I. It makes me want to drag them down to my level of depression, so they can see how it feels.


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## AMY22 (Mar 19, 2010)

serpenttongue said:


> As do I. It makes me want to drag them down to my level of depression, so they can see how it feels.


 
Yeah exactly. And you can feel your blood boiling. The hardest thing is to stay calm when someone tells you to calm down or lighten up.
There is a big difference between being miserable and having depression.


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## SyKeD (Mar 19, 2010)

AMY22 said:


> Yeah exactly. And you can feel your blood boiling. The hardest thing is to stay calm when someone tells you to calm down or lighten up.
> There is a big difference between being miserable and having depression.



Everyone will say that no matter how they feel, others feel like they have to be strong for the ones that are down and try and show the lighter or happier side of life, imo i think its just instinct. 

when some one is down we naturally take on the roll of trying to make them happy and get them to not feell so down.. as annoyed as you get at them in the end they are only trying to help

its like if your with another person and you know they have depression, but your feeling really down, that person isn't going to be sad with you, they will try and make you happy and put there problems aside to help you.

I do see where you are coming from amy22, as I've suffered with depression for a couple of years. its coming back slowly which isn't a good thing!!!!. as you said just have to try and stay calm =).


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## cris (Mar 19, 2010)

Hooglabah said:


> i dunno maybe im just silly but i feel that if nobody else is going to be ready for these things at least i should be.



Being cautious is good, but you need to be able to relax properly. if you cant do it yourself reefer to my post above. Then again the Yoga herbs are bad for some so seek advice from some legal drug dealer like a psychiatrist. 

PS. im keen to get back into propper Yoga if anyone in Brisbane knows where to guide me.


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## abbott75 (Mar 20, 2010)

AMY22 said:


> One thing I HATE is when people try and make you 'lighten up'.



I think usually when people are like that they are honestly just trying to help. We all know that unless you've been there you have no idea of that it is like. 

I have never suffered from depression, and sometime I really wish I had, just so I could relate. I've been dating this girl for 6 months, helped her through her low periods, listened as she told me about her two suicide attempts and how she was addicted to self injury. And I still have _no idea_ what she has really gone through. It is something that you really can't understand unless you've been in the situation...


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## AMY22 (Mar 20, 2010)

When I say people trying to make you 'lighten up' I didn't mean people just trying to cheer you up, I meant when people have that 'get over it' attitude or when they give you advice all in good intentions but it just makes you feel worse because they are clueless. Like the example I gave of people saying 'why can't you just pretend to be happy, and then you will be'.


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## cris (Mar 20, 2010)

AMY22 said:


> When I say people trying to make you 'lighten up' I didn't mean people just trying to cheer you up, I meant when people have that 'get over it' attitude or when they give you advice all in good intentions but it just makes you feel worse because they are clueless. Like the example I gave of people saying 'why can't you just pretend to be happy, and then you will be'.



This works for many people, lots of people can be made happy by someone simply smiling at them  (i hope that worked) Most humans have an extremely poor grasp of how a brain works and its variation, especially considering the indivdual complexities involved, both genetic and environmental. IMHO only a stupid brainwashed idiot like Ned Flanders can be happy in a situation where they are really >insert suitable words here<. Pretending to be happy is just stupid, learning to ignore irrelevant things that cause you stress is far more important.


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## Blondie84 (Mar 20, 2010)

Cris, you just hit the nail on the head there... It is a lot to do with learning how to cope with certain situations, coz when ur suffering ur mind and bodies natural instinct is to go to the negative place, be it sadness, anger, lashing out or turning that violence inward.


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## Bluetongue1 (May 14, 2011)

Seeking appropriate medical assistance is the key to dealing with it. A lot of GP’s have no idea when it comes to mental illness because it simply was not part of their training. It is very much a specialist field. If you are unhappy with a diagnosis or the follow care a particular doctor provides, then seek a second opinion. If your doctor diagnoses depression then they should also be looking at possible chemical causes with blood and hair sample analysis. They should be following up on your exercising, your sleeping, your reactions to pressure or stress as well as the “How are feeling today?” If what is prescribed does make a significant improvement to your condition – and by that I mean have you a lot more functional – within six to eight weeks, ask for something else or a referral to a psychiatrist. 

Because of the very nature of the beast, mental illness is not easily diagnosed. Symptoms of one ailment can overlap with symptoms of another. Different people can display differing sets of symptoms for the same ailment. However, a Psychiatrist is specifically trained to do the appropriate detective work to give themselves the best chance of making a correct diagnosis.

Blue


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## benjamind2010 (May 14, 2011)

I normally do not discuss things like this on a public forum. But I used to suffer from anxiety and depression for many years before I was successfully put on something (Avanza) that fixes it. I still get anxiety and irritability but it isn't as bad as before, and the depression seems to be gone. The Avanza also killed my insomnia so I've generally had a good night's sleep every since I've been on it. I was starved of oxygen at birth and my mother was in labor for over 35 hours, so that might have contributed to it. I also suffered from obsessions when I was younger, especially with animals and plants, and then it was politics, then all sorts of other stuff. Psychiatrists reckon I have "Asperger's" disorder, which I may actually have, but I think it's more general than that because the obsessions are not too bad nowadays but I still have slight social dysfunction and seem to lack some of the higher-level social skills, which come naturally to most people. It isn't my fault, and I do not blame anyone for what happened to me. All throughout my life I've been dealt severe disappointments, and going through my own mother's self-inflicted death when I was only 12 was a major turning point in my life, and I don't think I've ever been the same since then, but I just get on with it because there is no sense in dwelling on painful memories.

Plenty of other people, even on this forum, have been through some horrible personal tragedies and traumatic events, so I always keep an open mind when I get involved in these discussions. In that regard I don't think I'm anything special, just another drop of water in the ever changing ocean. Some people have little to no grief, while others seem to confront it on a regular basis. It's those who have been through much trauma and have handled it and come out on the other side without becoming bitter and cold about their bad experiences that will generally do better in life than most. It does build character, but not necessarily in a good way. As a result of what I've been through in life I'm a true believer in Murphy's Law, if something can go wrong it probably will go wrong, and to deal with it and brace yourself for it. For me it's a most basic psychological survival mechanism - if there is a promise of good things to come you just think to yourself that if it indeed happens then yeah that's great, but it may not happen so don't get your hopes up. That's how I've been thinking since my mother died, that event changed me pretty much forever. I don't have the trust I used to have anymore, and it's probably why I'll end up buying a house for cash outright as opposed to doing what the majority of people are doing and ending up on the home loan treadmill. I'm a bit less trusting of the economy and people who fit my mindset generally retire fairly comfortably - so I guess that is my saving grace.

As for life - I can generally sum it up to this one lone sentence:

No promises, no guarantees, life is what you make it be no matter what anyone else tells you, keep trying, keep getting knocked down, keep getting back up, wear your bruises with pride, keep getting stronger, faster, smarter, better, and never ever forget that you'll be your own man and will one day possess the stoicism and the much longed for distinction of never having to answer to anyone.


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## HypnoticSlither (May 14, 2011)

I am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, dissociative personality disorder, post traumatic stress disorder and agoraphobia. i can not work and i have a pretty restricted life. BUT i am doing the best i can to stay on top of every thing and i am bloody proud of my self in the way i handle my illnesses


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## CrystalMoon (May 14, 2011)

> I normally do not discuss things like this on a public forum. But I used to suffer from anxiety and depression for many years before I was successfully put on something (Avanza) that fixes it. I still get anxiety and irritability but it isn't as bad as before, and the depression seems to be gone. The Avanza also killed my insomnia so I've generally had a good night's sleep every since I've been on it. I was starved of oxygen at birth and my mother was in labor for over 35 hours, so that might have contributed to it. I also suffered from obsessions when I was younger, especially with animals and plants, and then it was politics, then all sorts of other stuff. Psychiatrists reckon I have "Asperger's" disorder, which I may actually have, but I think it's more general than that because the obsessions are not too bad nowadays but I still have slight social dysfunction and seem to lack some of the higher-level social skills, which come naturally to most people. It isn't my fault, and I do not blame anyone for what happened to me. All throughout my life I've been dealt severe disappointments, and going through my own mother's self-inflicted death when I was only 12 was a major turning point in my life, and I don't think I've ever been the same since then, but I just get on with it because there is no sense in dwelling on painful memories.
> 
> Plenty of other people, even on this forum, have been through some horrible personal tragedies and traumatic events, so I always keep an open mind when I get involved in these discussions. In that regard I don't think I'm anything special, just another drop of water in the ever changing ocean. Some people have little to no grief, while others seem to confront it on a regular basis. It's those who have been through much trauma and have handled it and come out on the other side without becoming bitter and cold about their bad experiences that will generally do better in life than most. It does build character, but not necessarily in a good way. As a result of what I've been through in life I'm a true believer in Murphy's Law, if something can go wrong it probably will go wrong, and to deal with it and brace yourself for it. For me it's a most basic psychological survival mechanism - if there is a promise of good things to come you just think to yourself that if it indeed happens then yeah that's great, but it may not happen so don't get your hopes up. That's how I've been thinking since my mother died, that event changed me pretty much forever. I don't have the trust I used to have anymore, and it's probably why I'll end up buying a house for cash outright as opposed to doing what the majority of people are doing and ending up on the home loan treadmill. I'm a bit less trusting of the economy and people who fit my mindset generally retire fairly comfortably - so I guess that is my saving grace.
> 
> ...


Thanx for sharing. With out going into the details, I have been through the fiery pits of hell in my life. But I have come out the other side knowing I can bend but wont break. I am thankful for all that I have learned and will learn. I have bipolar and am unmedicated(long story)every day can be a new challenge to get through, the way I see it I can sink or swim I choose to swim, although I may tread water for a time, I do start swimming again. I grieve your loss, I lost my Baby Brother to suicide, he was more like my own Child and I still 15 years later have a hole in my heart that doesnt seem to heal. One of the tenuous threads I hold onto is my love of life, I love breathing, feeling the soft silky rain on my face even the pounding rain of a thunder storm on my skin is exhillerating(sp) Sometimes my heart aches to see the beauty of a sunrise/sunset or other picturesque scenery. I cherish life in any form and therefore soldier on no matter what my journey throws up at me.
People for the most part are survivors, sometimes we just need a hug/push or boot ;-)
Kindest thoughts
Crystal


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## sookie (May 14, 2011)

Thank you,all of you.i don't feel alone anymore in my confusion within.lost my dad when i was 5,in front of me,my mother was remarried in six months to a man who liked little girls.enough said about that.from that age on i was bought up to be 2 people,one for public - one for private.the past happened to the other maz,not this one.dissascoitate myself from it all...2 people.i obsses over things,don't like crowds,don't like strange males,don't like to be hugged or cuddled in greetings,i need to be in control,even as it is killing me.being intimate can at times be hard.left home only to be beaten by a man for 6yrs in the name of love.can't stand yelling,shouting or really loud noises.when anyone gets angry at me i go into grovelling for forgivness mode,i always take the blame,cover for my son and cry as if im gonna get whelped.Jason would never do that to me,but i can't help it.6yrs of it being beaten into you leaves an impression.
I have lost a husband/soulmate and that has changed me again,but you see that happened to the other maz,not me.i have sold my home which was freehold to go into the business world and that flopped.doesn't matter tho,it didn't happen to me.it happened to the other maz again.


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## HypnoticSlither (May 14, 2011)

i can not believe how open every one is.... it is really amazing. i wont go into detail but my illnesses that i listed above in my last post , i was not born with . i have mental illness due to life events. i was sexually abused from 8-17 yrs of age. then was in a violent relationship. i have had problems with drugs and alcohol. but now i stay clear of all. i have attemped suicide a few times the last time i did i technically died there for a min, im so lucky to be here though i still cut . i understand alot about hell lives and mental health ... so if ANYONE needs to talk plz private message me.


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## marteed (May 14, 2011)

Hi, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression over 12mths ago now. On meds and seeing a psycologist. Felt stupid for years not knowing what was wrong. Getting better day by day especially since leaving a bad relationship! Wouldnt have gone on meds but they definitely helped and wont be on them for much longer now (i hope). Depression runs in the family so at least now I know the signs and will get help when I need it.
It is very sad the amount of people that wont seek help because they feel stupid or embrassed (I was one of them for a very long time). It was really different to what I expected and I am so glad I got the courage to go and see my doctor about it.
I believe now that if you feel like there is something wrong whether you know or dont know what it is, go and see your doctor and seek advice. If its not your thing at least you gave it a go and go from there.


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## sookie (May 14, 2011)

HypnoticSliter your life sounds like mine.i hear all the hurt you carry.especially the betrayal.and why not be open,hopefully oneday i mat meet some of you and now you're all becoming family.some of you seem to understand me better than those physically close to me.

LOVE Y'ALL xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## CrystalMoon (May 14, 2011)

sookie said:


> HypnoticSliter your life sounds like mine.i hear all the hurt you carry.especially the betrayal.and why not be open,hopefully oneday i mat meet some of you and now you're all becoming family.some of you seem to understand me better than those physically close to me.
> 
> LOVE Y'ALL xxxxxxxxxxxx


I am humbled by all ofyou and your ability to be open in regard to your experiences, suffice to say I know and understand them
hugs to you all
Crystal


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## Asharee133 (May 14, 2011)

i've more recently been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, dysthymia and generalised anxiety disorder. lifes just a bunch of fun at the minute. and for people who dont understand its just damn ignorance that makes them believe that everything is perfect.


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## CrystalMoon (May 14, 2011)

Asharee133 said:


> i've more recently been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, dysthymia and generalised anxiety disorder. lifes just a bunch of fun at the minute. and for people who dont understand its just damn ignorance that makes them believe that everything is perfect.


Sometimes it is easier for people to remain ignorant than to stand up and try to educate themselves in these disorders, to the detriment of many sufferer's
I do think society as a whole are trying to be more aware and compassionate. 
Hugs 
Crystal


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## HypnoticSlither (May 14, 2011)

sookie said:


> HypnoticSliter your life sounds like mine.i hear all the hurt you carry.especially the betrayal.and why not be open,hopefully oneday i mat meet some of you and now you're all becoming family.some of you seem to understand me better than those physically close to me.
> 
> LOVE Y'ALL xxxxxxxxxxxx


 
as horrible it is to have a similar life like mine it is good to know there are others that KNOW what u go through. i guess the comfort of knowing ur not alone is touching. so thank you


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## Recharge (May 14, 2011)

educations is all well and good, but acceptance that you have a biological mess up in your brain and you shouldn't breed is also something too many people don't think about.
sure, if it's something brought on by an incident, all well and good, but if you have a disorder that you have a "good" chance of passing on, adopt, don't be selfish and foster another (or several) generations with your mental issues.

this is not meant to be mean or pick on anyone what so ever, I just don't believe it's right to do so. and no, I don't have children, nor will I.


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## HypnoticSlither (May 14, 2011)

Recharge said:


> educations is all well and good, but acceptance that you have a biological mess up in your brain and you shouldn't breed is also something too many people don't think about.
> sure, if it's something brought on by an incident, all well and good, but if you have a disorder that you have a "good" chance of passing on, adopt, don't be selfish and foster another (or several) generations with your mental issues.
> 
> this is not meant to be mean or pick on anyone what so ever, I just don't believe it's right to do so. and no, I don't have children, nor will I.


 

i honestly think that it is a matter of opinion but as i have these illnesses well basicly i can not be a parent... i can not look after my self let alone a child. i guess that is why i surround my self by animals . as a women it hurts but i can not be selfish on the matter. last thing i want is to bring a child into the world because of my selfish need to. so i get what your saying.


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## Torah (May 14, 2011)

I have bi-polar II ..but I guess im abit old school and think if you cant handle it , toughen up or shut up. My Dad however believes there is no such thing and im just a naughty kid lol... mehhh "yes dad "


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## CrystalMoon (May 14, 2011)

Torah said:


> I have bi-polar II ..but I guess im abit old school and think if you cant handle it , toughen up or shut up. My Dad however believes there is no such thing and im just a naughty kid lol... mehhh "yes dad "


I found bipolar more difficult to handle at specific times in my life eg; pubity, and pregnancy/breast feeding. There are also a variety of triggers that over the years
I have learned to read. It is important to know when to "toughen up" and when to grab help. I do feel it can be seen as a "trendy" disorder now(due to popular actors tv shows implementing it into shows/media)I also feel it can be easy to be misdiagnosed.


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## Torah (May 14, 2011)

^ agreed !!!!!


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## Snakewoman (May 14, 2011)

sookie said:


> Thank you,all of you.i don't feel alone anymore in my confusion within.lost my dad when i was 5,in front of me,my mother was remarried in six months to a man who liked little girls.enough said about that.from that age on i was bought up to be 2 people,one for public - one for private.the past happened to the other maz,not this one.dissascoitate myself from it all...2 people.i obsses over things,don't like crowds,don't like strange males,don't like to be hugged or cuddled in greetings,i need to be in control,even as it is killing me.being intimate can at times be hard.left home only to be beaten by a man for 6yrs in the name of love.can't stand yelling,shouting or really loud noises.when anyone gets angry at me i go into grovelling for forgivness mode,i always take the blame,cover for my son and cry as if im gonna get whelped.Jason would never do that to me,but i can't help it.6yrs of it being beaten into you leaves an impression.
> I have lost a husband/soulmate and that has changed me again,but you see that happened to the other maz,not me.i have sold my home which was freehold to go into the business world and that flopped.doesn't matter tho,it didn't happen to me.it happened to the other maz again.



That's horrible sookie, I hope things get better for you soon. I'm glad you and others are open on here, I always think its important to know what people have been through when you talk to them. Thanks for sharing.


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## Bluetongue1 (May 14, 2011)

*A few thoughts*

I remain to be convinced it is as simple as toughen up or shut up. In fact I know it is not! There are times when you have a measure of control over what you do and where life takes you. However, it is the very nature of mental illness to rob you of that self control when the disease is running rife. This is the reason for my earlier advice of seeking assistance. If it means you have to take a dozen pill per day to be back in the driver’s seat then all I can say is to me its not a choice, it’s a no brainer. Seek and utilise whatever assistance / help is available. Yes, I know, it isn’t that easy or straight forward. There is an element of luck involved as to whether you get a doctor who is on the right wavelength. All I can say is don’t stop. Try someone else. Get in touch with a support group and ask for a referral from them. Do your own diagnosing on the net – it might turn up something useful. 

That is only one aspect. We each develop our own strategies to cope. If we didn’t we probably would not still be here. I see a lot of good in discussing those strategies with others in a similar situation. Knowing you are not alone - that the nightmare is just as real for someone else. Perhaps even being able to pinch part of their strategies. There is also a healing force that comes with being able to purge your soul of these terrible dark secrets that you carried around for so long. 

Of all the health issues mentioned I will say that the betrayal of trust by those whom you should have most trust in, tears at my heart strings. The trauma caused to one so vulnerable at a critical formative age simply cannot be measured. I don’t know whether to be filled with rage or let the tears flow. That one human being can deliberately dismantle the opportunity for a normal life in another human being, for their own selfish gratification is inexcusable. Such people are an abomination on this earth.

For myself, where I have had traumas, they may take some considerable time to come to terms with. I don’t deny there existence and I allow myself to feel sad when I think back on them. But I also look for the positives before or after. I don’t try and explain it – it’s just random chance. It happened. Bad luck. But it is in the past. My coping strategy is simple enough: I am where I am and today is the first day of the rest of my life. What am I going to do with it and what general direction can I head my life in. I don’t go through that verbatim every morning but I do say to myself how should I best use today.

Blue


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## Snake_Whisperer (May 17, 2011)

Torah said:


> I have bi-polar II ..but I guess im abit old school and think if you cant handle it , toughen up or shut up. My Dad however believes there is no such thing and im just a naughty kid lol... mehhh "yes dad "



Wow, I thought I was done with this thread but this requires a response.

I have seen a lot of downright moronic advice given on this site over the years but this is perhaps the worst thing I have seen to date. To the poster of this nonsense I offer the following:



> "Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt." -Abraham Linclon


 
My 25 year old cousin had severe bi-polar disorder, and had been in and out of mental health institutions since her mid to late teens. This past Christmas holidays, she used her day pass from the hospital, went to a local bridge, and took her own life.

Christmas 2009, my wife's uncle, also diagnosed with severe bi-polar disorder, also took his life.

If you have mental health issues, "toughening up" is not often an option. Seek help because it is out there! You are never truly alone and help is never more than a phone call away. Gone are the days in which the stigma surrounding mental health issues prevented people from seeking assistance. There are a myriad of organisations available to you cope when you struggle to cope by yourself. beyondblue: the national depression initiative is a great place to look if you are having trouble with depression. A quick Google search will reveal a host of support groups in your area and I can say from first hand experience, they can be a life saver. I was rapidly nearing the end of my rope when I discovered a support group for Asperger's and I shudder to think where I'd be if I had not found them. For myself, I was always the "just get over it" type until I found myself in that other person's shoes. Help, support, and acceptance are available to you 24 hours a day, even when you feel like you are the only person on earth. Those who've battled severe depression will know exactly what I mean by that. 

For the love ov Jeebus, if life is too hard to cope with, get help! You do not ever have to be alone in mental illness!


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## Wild~Touch (May 17, 2011)

Please ... Search & Find this book,* it is invaluable*, read it and share it around with close people in your life.

*Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder*

Authors: Julie A.Fast and John Preston, PsyD


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## Snakewoman (May 17, 2011)

Thank you for that snake_whisperer, my mother, brother and myself all suffer from mental illness, my mother has been on medication for depression for years, the first time she crashed it was horrible. Every time the phone rang she had a panic attack, she had her mobile turned off which was not like her at all, she loves talking to her friends. She's usually a very bright and bubbly person, and to see her in that condition was not good. She was unable to work for about a year and if it weren't for our kind friends we wouldn't have had anything to eat, I remember one day all there was in the house to eat was one little can of tuna.

Medication helped a lot, and when she felt better she told us that if she didn't have children that she probably would have taken her life. Her medication was recently increased, and her doctor has given her 2 weeks off work, this is the worst she's been for a long time, but thankfully not as bad as a few years ago. There are many ignorant people who think you can 'toughen up' or just think about happy things and it'll make you all better. People such as these don't realise how much damage they can do by saying those things, and unless they end up going through depression themselves, they will never get it. The best advice I can give to people is if they don't know much about depression, go and educate yourself. Its not as simple to get out of as people think, and it should not be viewed as attention seeking behaviour either.


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## Retta4jungles (May 17, 2011)

For over ten years now i have suffered depression and severe panic attacks, the first attacks and depression were after i lost my son at birth, i could not leave the house, would pass out at the thought of having someone come to my house and if they did i would shut the door infront of their faces and walk away without a word, at first i was told that this would go away i was just upset. IT DIDNT. I was made to feel like i was a sook and that i should just get over it, im not sure how i dealt with the first lot i think i honestly just blocked out that part of my life with what ever drug i could get my hands on. I have had other problems with this through out the last few years and was offered anti depressants, since i had just kicked one addiction i was not prepared to get addicted to another, obviously it has been a struggle with out them but no where near as bad as what i had encountered over the last six months. I was unable to work, look after my child and have a life, the constant fear of having attacks wore on me very quickly, the depression started accompanied by OCD(such a wonderful little problem) I had to rely on others to drive which was an issue as others driving gave me attacks as well, I tried the toughen up theory with disastrous results, tried therapy which i think i was so desperate for something to work that i actually thought i was working for a while, then was rudely informed by my head that it was not! Finally i could not take it, i was constantly scared constantly crying and totally useless to my 10 year old daughter i had gotten sick of being told that i was a sook, so i tried the DRUGS!!!!

It was ugly, i became even more depressed, was useless to my child and partner and my job, the attacks however did subside but only for a little while, i resigned myself to thinking that it was better to feel nothing at all and i mean nothing no highs no lows than to feel scared all the time. On top of this i had been seeing a naturopath who gave me so many tonics and pills i quite literally needed a book to write down what where and when i was supposed to be taking all up i was popping thirty pills a day, and then there were the tonics. By then end of this what ever i would eat would be bak up in minutes and sleep was a thing of the past. About two months maybe a bit more ago i started going to see an accupuncture in Brisbane his name is chem, and was referred by a realative. I didnt at that time hold much hope in those sorts of things. With in two weeks i was drug free, panic free, side affect free. This man i owe my life to, i really didnt think i would last too much longer. It has been nearly three months now going once a week at fifty dollars a week, i even could not make it for a month at one time and still no problems, I was initially spending about 700 a month on visits to doctors and pills. This man saved my life and my family.. I now live a normal life can hold my job and take care of my family as a mother should do. I recommend anyone who has problems with anxiety, depression or disorders to go see him, he really is a miracle worker. If you would like his number feel free to PM or something i will happily hand it over.. Its such a small and simple task to have your life bak. I still cant believe it.


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## CrystalMoon (May 17, 2011)

Snake_Whisperer said:


> Wow, I thought I was done with this thread but this requires a response.
> 
> I have seen a lot of downright moronic advice given on this site over the years but this is perhaps the worst thing I have seen to date. To the poster of this nonsense I offer the following:
> 
> ...



I feel you may have taken Torah's post a little too abrasively, some sufferer's do try for years to take a "tuff"love approach to mental illness(note non supporting parent of poster)I am one of such products.....It was my Baby Brothers suicide that bought me to the point of asking for help, why not before? simple, I was led to believe I was just "queer" "odd" "tempremental" "moody" "difficult" "MENTAL" society has only really just begun to touch the surface of acceptance that there is such a thing as "mental" disorders. I have only, in the last year known that the very person who told me to "tuffen up"has himself a mental disorder and has suffered painfully for his whole life. He was of a different generation and that does have a huge impact on how they themselves bring up their suffering offspring. Is it right? HELL NO, but it is at least an insight to why it happens. I would advise any-one suffering even a suspected mental illness to go get any available help they can, it can mean life or death.
I do understand the depth of despair and depression and why suicide victims dont get help. A lot of society say they are selfish and weak........that can only be said by people who have NO concept where said victim's head was at. When a person is at there wits end, have hit what they perceive to be rock bottom, they no longer rationalize or have the ability to use "normal" reasoning skills. They are one big raw weeping wound, in their mind they are actually doing friends/family society a favour by taking their own life. In their eyes they are doing every-one a service, unfortunately it is soooo totally the opposite. In my opinion the more we can educate people from a young age that there is no shame in admitting and thus getting help for a mental disorder the more chance we have of holding back the tide of sufferers who attempt/committ suicide. Black dog is a particularly good organization for Mental disorders too
Kind regards 
Crystal


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## HypnoticSlither (May 17, 2011)

i have attempted suicide 3 years ago i technically died.... i overdosed on pills and my heart stopped. 
When the doctors told me what happened i was furious... i could not understand why they didn't let me go. Its what i wanted ...i was in agony i did not want to be here anymore... and i hated any one that was trying to keep me here...it was torture. 
i have not attepted suicide since but i still think about it from time to time. 
im a cutter ... i have been cutting since i was 11 yrs old. i cut weekly sometimes daily. 

but i tell you what i am so thankful for the support i have been given.
i am no longer afraid of seeking help instead i seek the best treatment for my illnesses.


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## TacoWhiteley (May 17, 2011)

Do forums help because you see your not the only person going through something? or do they help because it is like writing a book, you can vent what your feeling? xox


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## Torah (May 17, 2011)

Snake_Whisperer said:


> Wow, I thought I was done with this thread but this requires a response.
> 
> I have seen a lot of downright moronic advice given on this site over the years but this is perhaps the worst thing I have seen to date. To the poster of this nonsense I offer the following:
> 
> ...


 
So you have bi-polar ?


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## CrystalMoon (May 17, 2011)

Miss-Megan said:


> Do forums help because you see your not the only person going through something? or do they help because it is like writing a book, you can vent what your feeling? xox


Personally, I dont really divulge too much about my experiences on a forum. Just enough to try and let others know there is some-one else
who understands and has an idea where their head is at.
I do think it helps other sufferer's to see they are not the only ones, and there is light at the end of a tunnel 
Kind regards
Crystal


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## Torah (May 17, 2011)

Im not going to write an essay but I believe you do *not* have to have an mental illness to commit suicide and I also believe that you can live a normal life having bi-polar . No-one would ever know I had bi-polar unless I stopped taking my tablets or let myself head butt walls as i have been known to do before I took control of my illness and when I said toughen up or shut up what I meant was either take abit of responsibility for your actions , people with bi-polar have extremely high highs and even lower lows that *are* controlable with the knowledge of how to do so and medication !
Ive been through the whole "theres nothing wrong with me , im not taking that" and the " omg theres something really wrong with me i think I wanna die" but you pick yourself up , dust yourself off , tell yourself *this is my sickness talking* and your power on ! Suicide is the easy way out ! And I also do *not* believe anyone who is *not* affected can understand what it is like to live with bi-polar etc.
Sure I get moody, sure i get mad but who doesnt .


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## HypnoticSlither (May 17, 2011)

i honestly think ...its up to he sufferer how they cope.. your method may not be mine. but it works for you and that is the main thing  
i was mis diagnosed bipolar i new with in my self that is not what i had... though my illness and bipolar are very similar . 
i found some people with mental illness CAN take the approach of "thoughin up " but i also found some people with mental illness can not.
Unfortunatly i am one of them.... do not get me wrong i try not to let my illness get the best of my but even with treatment and medication i still have a hard time day to day . and i can not work either. 

but i understnad both sides ... and at the end of the day it is what works for the individual sufferer . what may work for you may not work for me visa versa.
we are nor right or wrong we are individual.


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## Black.Rabbit (May 17, 2011)

I have Bipolar II and used to suffer from an eating disorder for about 6 years. Psychiatrist used to have me so drugged up that I have about 6 months missing from my memory, pretty bad when you are a single mum. 
It got to a point (or incident rather) where I had to get off the meds and learn to deal with it myself. I have been good for about a year now, rarely going through depressive episodes. I haven't had the eating disorder for about 3 years now and have no desire to bother with it again - (I'm actually trying to put weight on!!! lol)
I also have Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder which the bipolar medication used to help me with, but since coming off it all the DSPD came back. I sleep on _average_ 4 hours a night. I know it's not a 'mental' disorder but it sucks how coming off medication has resulted with more problems in some aspects.


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## Bluetongue1 (May 20, 2011)

Retta4jungles said:


> .…It has been nearly three months now going once a week at fifty dollars a week, i even could not make it for a month at one time and still no problems, I was initially spending about 700 a month on visits to doctors and pills. This man saved my life and my family.. I now live a normal life can hold my job and take care of my family as a mother should do….


 
From my own experience with psychiatrists, it sounds like you were well and truly over-medicated. I would have been looking at a second opinion by that stage. The fact that you have found an alternative practitioner that can control the symptoms for you is awesome! I am truly happy for you. 




Miss-Megan said:


> Do forums help because you see your not the only person going through something? or do they help because it is like writing a book, you can vent what your feeling? xox


 
One, both or neither of those may apply. Each of us has our own reasons for posting here and for reading the posts of others. It is going to vary with the individual. For me, neither of those applies.




Torah said:


> ….Suicide is the easy way out !....


 
Sorry, but I cannot accept that as a blanket statement covering any mental illness. It may be true of some illnesses and some sufferers but it does not hold true as a generalisation. Someone in the grip of severe clinical depression simply cannot experience joy of any nature. It is simply impossible for them to do so. The world is black!!! 

The buzz you get out of your snakes, for example, would totally disappear. If you replaced all your snakes with house bricks, that’s what looking after them and handling them would be like. It does not matter what you do, there is absolutely no feedback from it and no point to doing it. Existence is pointless.

Many, if not most sufferers of severe depression also suffer from anxiety at the same time. Add the two together and there is one logical thing to do. 

Blue


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## bluewater (May 20, 2011)

Well put blue, whilst always accepting of mental illness, I never thought it would be me. I have no horror stories as such to attribute it to but life in itself can be a bloody scary place. When I eventually got fed up I was taked into councelling and onto meds. It really is quite amazing how serve the illness can be, it amazes myself looking back, things you are absoloutly passionate about are of little or no intrest next week, and the desire to live is all but lost. It is quite amazing how 'alone' you can be whilst still being surrounded by friends
Sorry, but I cannot accept that as a blanket statement covering any mental illness. It may be true of some illnesses and some sufferers but it does not hold true as a generalisation. Someone in the grip of severe clinical depression simply cannot experience joy of any nature. It is simply impossible for them to do so. The world is black!!! 

The buzz you get out of your snakes, for example, would totally disappear. If you replaced all your snakes with house bricks, that’s what looking after them and handling them would be like. It does not matter what you do, there is absolutely no feedback from it and no point to doing it. Existence is pointless.

Many, if not most sufferers of severe depression also suffer from anxiety at the same time. Add the two together and there is one logical thing to do. 

Blue[/QUOTE]


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## Flaviruthless (May 21, 2011)

Bluetongue1 said:


> Someone in the grip of severe clinical depression simply cannot experience joy of any nature. It is simply impossible for them to do so. The world is black!!!
> The buzz you get out of your snakes, for example, would totally disappear. If you replaced all your snakes with house bricks, that’s what looking after them and handling them would be like. It does not matter what you do, there is absolutely no feedback from it and no point to doing it. Existence is pointless.
> Many, if not most sufferers of severe depression also suffer from anxiety at the same time. Add the two together and there is one logical thing to do.
> Blue


 
Well said. Extremely well said.


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## Bluetongue1 (May 21, 2011)

Thankyou very much Rahni29. I am sure you can appreciate where I am coming from when I say that this is an insight I would rather I didn't have.

There are a couple of lines from the Paul Simon song “Slip Sliding Away” that I often reflect upon. They say so much in so few words...

“She said a good day, there’s no pain. 
On a bad day I just lie in bed and dream of how things might have been.”

As for myself… 
With hope and help and a measure of luck, I will go forward.
And if I don’t manage it today, I’m going to have another crack at it tomorrow!

I hope you are doing OK these days Rahni29.

Blue


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## hrafna (May 23, 2011)

without going into great depth as i don't know any of you that well yet, i suffer from bipolar and it can be absolute hell. i can honestly sit here and say yes i am only here today because of my children. i don't believe people can fully understand what people such as myself go through each day, but then again i can't feel the impact that they feel each day because what i do impacts others. yes meds are hard to stay on at times, it can be an easy thing to stop them and i don't think many people can understand that. anybody who reads this and suffers from some sort of mental illness all i can say is this, find what works for you! find what helps you get through each and everyday and stick with it!


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## CrystalMoon (May 23, 2011)

I would just like to offer a shoulder to lean on for any-one suffering with any illness, I may come across as a little bit of a ratbag however I have had bipolar 
all my life and can empathize with what a lot of sufferer's go through*scoops you all up for a big virtual hug*I am a great listener and I "like"(couldnt help myself)
every-one. I never judge as I too live in a glass house, you are welcome to pm me any time 
Kind regards
Crystal


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## Smithers (May 23, 2011)

CrystalMoon said:


> I would just like to offer a shoulder to lean on for any-one suffering with any illness, I may come across as a little bit of a ratbag however I have had bipolar
> all my life and can empathize with what a lot of sufferer's go through*scoops you all up for a big virtual hug*I am a great listener and I "like"(couldnt help myself)
> every-one. I never judge as I too live in a glass house, you are welcome to pm me any time
> Kind regards
> Crystal



Great Idea Crystal,...Im no Doc but have done heaps of therapy with shrinks and therapists for anxiety/depression and have a partner who has Aspergers/Bi Polar so between us we know our way around the block on this issue. We both have started a mental health support group for sufferers in the GLBTQI (I think that's everyone  we hold a meeting every second week and it seems to be a good thing to have other say hey I do that or that's me too...plus it gets you out the house which is good for sufferers who like myself tend to be a bit agrophobic which is an anxiety disorder defined as a morbid fear of wide open spaces, crowds, or uncontrolled social conditions. I can offer the same as Crystal if you need to purge feel free to do so.


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## $NaKe PiMp (May 23, 2011)

id like to share something on a more positive note.I am really motivated by my illness to try all the more harder,to pursue my passions,and enjoy the things i love all the more.
There are some major setbacks that pop up through life,but there are also some seriously magical moments,there the ones i think about.


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## CrystalMoon (May 23, 2011)

$NaKe PiMp said:


> id like to share something on a more positive note.I am really motivated by my illness to try all the more harder,to pursue my passions,and enjoy the things i love all the more.
> There are some major setbacks that pop up through life,but there are also some seriously magical moments,there the ones i think about.


That is so refreshing to hear SP, I actually feel lucky at times to live with bipolar it has taught me so much about acceptence for others and myself
what I miss out on, on the merry go round I pick up on the hurdy gurdy... I may fight and strain through the downward spiral but the up's are
mind blowing(as long as I can control them and myself lol)


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## Bluetongue1 (Jun 1, 2011)

Recharge said:


> educations is all well and good, but acceptance that you have a biological mess up in your brain and you shouldn't breed is also something too many people don't think about.
> sure, if it's something brought on by an incident, all well and good, but if you have a disorder that you have a "good" chance of passing on, adopt, don't be selfish and foster another (or several) generations with your mental issues.
> 
> this is not meant to be mean or pick on anyone what so ever, I just don't believe it's right to do so. and no, I don't have children, nor will I.


 I had meant address this earlier and it slipped my mind.

I think it is important to distinguish between those mental illnesses that are inherited and those that are trauma induced. The effects on the mind and body are pretty much the same despite the very different origins of the ailment. And I don’t accept that those who do suffer trauma induced mental illness necessarily have a genetic predisposition to the ailment. I think all humans have a breaking point and that is especially the case with children, as they are not worldly-wise enough to have developed coping strategies that actually protect them. 

Blue


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## mysnakesau (Jun 1, 2011)

I suffer post traumatic depression from incidences that happen many, many years ago but have scarred me for life. I am on anti-depressents. I believe doctors hand these out far too much and I was very hestitant to start using them but after 4 years I know I have the right medication. If I forget to take it a few days in a row I can feel my mind slipping and my mood changes. The medication doesn't cure me of my scars but it does keep the depression under control.


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## Dan40D (Jun 3, 2011)

My wife was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder 5 years ago. She had suffered from depression since before i met her but had been quite good up until one day when she unexpectedley got called up for a shift at work, this triggered something and she ended up in a screaming heap in the corner for the next three days before i made the hardest decision of my life and had her admitted to an institution. In hindsight it turned out to be the best decision i ever made. Before this she had only ever had her depression diagnosed by a GP, but clearly this was something deeper than depression. 

Within days professionals at the hospital had diagnosed her with BPD, they made some changes to her medication and overnight she was a different person. They suggested that she may benefit from intensive Dialectical behavior therapy which basically teaches sufferers to manage their illness. The course was intense, 3 days a week plus a group session and one on one with a therapist for 18 months. The therapy was very tough on both of us and the next three years were filled with alot of ups and some deep downs, including self harm, but it worked and for the last 2 years there have been very few downs, and they were only minor.
I'm not saying this therapy is for everyone, my wife became very good friends with 2 other girls that did the therapy with her, sadly neither of them are still with us but there have been many more success stories from reunions that my wife has gone too.
My wife is not "cured" and never will be, the best we can ever hope for is managing the illness that she has, the next big test will come in September when our first child is due, the risk of post natal depression is high, but i can now read my wife like a book and will be keeping one eye on her at all times.

_For those of you that read this and have not suffered from or seen somebody suffer from a mental illness can ask of you just one thing, when you do, (you WILL be affected by mental illness either directly or indirectly sometime in your life) please don't shun the person or tell them to toughen up, offer them support. If they ask you for help, do everything you can to help._
_It was torture for me to have watch my wife go through this and there was times when i wondered what i was doing, it was very hard to remain strong, but the one constant thing throughout my wifes darkest days was me, this may sound a little arrogant but i believe it made a big difference in her getting to where she is today._


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## Smithers (Jun 3, 2011)

A difficult read but ultimately a positive outcome Dan,...unfortunate there is no cure only treatments for now. Don't want to seem a dick but good on you for staying in there for the long haul it's a bumpy road at times hey. All the very best on the impending hatchie..oops child i meant


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## Sezzzzzzzzz (Jun 3, 2011)

Dan40D said:


> My wife was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder 5 years ago. She had suffered from depression since before i met her but had been quite good up until one day when she unexpectedley got called up for a shift at work, this triggered something and she ended up in a screaming heap in the corner for the next three days before i made the hardest decision of my life and had her admitted to an institution. In hindsight it turned out to be the best decision i ever made. Before this she had only ever had her depression diagnosed by a GP, but clearly this was something deeper than depression.
> 
> Within days professionals at the hospital had diagnosed her with BPD, they made some changes to her medication and overnight she was a different person. They suggested that she may benefit from intensive Dialectical behavior therapy which basically teaches sufferers to manage their illness. The course was intense, 3 days a week plus a group session and one on one with a therapist for 18 months. The therapy was very tough on both of us and the next three years were filled with alot of ups and some deep downs, including self harm, but it worked and for the last 2 years there have been very few downs, and they were only minor.
> I'm not saying this therapy is for everyone, my wife became very good friends with 2 other girls that did the therapy with her, sadly neither of them are still with us but there have been many more success stories from reunions that my wife has gone too.
> ...


 

dan i am sitting here in tears reading this. you are obviously a very strong person, as is your wife. you make me want to share too.

after 4 miscarriages i was left a shattered heartbroken mess. and so many people said similar things to me "it wasnt meant to be" (well why the f did i get pregnant then?) "next time" (wat if there isnt a next time). 

i was angry at the world and was just breathing not living. i was angry at anyone else that got pregnant, i was just angry. i cried all the time, screamed at my poor hubby constantly, i was just a bitch. even i hadnt considered how depressed i was until 1 night i had a breakdown while my mum was visiting. all it took was her to ask how i REALLY was. then not long after i fell pregnant again, and each day passed and i stayed pregnant. when i had my daughter i was overjoyed but under-whelmed and after a few months i saw a doctor who diagnosed me with PND but not because i wasnt bonding with bub or being a good mum, it was from having put so much pressure on myself to be the "perfect mother", I took the tabs prescribed, and saw a therapist and within 6 months felt well enough to stop taking them, as we wanted to try and have another baby. i still have bad days, but now the majority are good, 2 yrs down the track we still dont have any more kids but hey ive been blessed with matilda and she makes life worth living.


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## CrystalMoon (Jun 3, 2011)

I agree B, Dan it is an incredible journey you have travelled with your wife. You need to be sooo proud of yourself for sticking it out with her and being
her rock. It is such a difficult position to be in(that of a partner of a person with any mental illness) Both my previous husbands did not have such fortitude...
and I am relatively good at controlling mine Bipolar.(have moments)so I showed them the door and requested they begone.(although one is like chewy gum on mine shoe at the moment)still offering him as a give away.... ladies? cum on he is free to a good home?


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## mysnakesau (Jun 3, 2011)

Not arrogant at all Dan. You have shown your loved one that you are there beside her for better or worse, in sickness and in health. You sound like the perfect husband and I know you'll be a perfect Dad too. Good for you!


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## Dan40D (Jun 3, 2011)

newtolovingsnake,
Thanks, your story is also very touching.



newtolovingsnake said:


> so many people said similar things to me "it wasnt meant to be" (well why the f did i get pregnant then?) "next time" (wat if there isnt a next time).


 
Thats the other thing i learnt going trough all this, people think they are helping and being comforting by saying things like this, when in fact they are doing the exact opposite.

If someone asks you for help or you suspect someone may need help don't try to be a psychiatrist, leave it to the professionals, you may think that you are helping the person but in reality you are quiet possibly doing the exact opposite and making things much worse. My advice would be to contact Lifeline or Beyond Blue and ask them for suggestions on how to help the person, they will give the best possible advice on how to approach the situation, it is also totally free and you can remain anonymous. For people that are suffering from an illness, don't try to be a hero, there is plenty of help available.

Lifeline 13 11 14

Beyond Blue symptons checklist and advice <--- Link


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## Bluetongue1 (Jun 4, 2011)

Dan,

Thankyou for sharing your story with us and for providing such a terrific insight into mental illness from the other side of the fence. Thankyou you also for the window into the love have for your wife and how much you genuinely care. It is heart warming to see such values in action in our rather transient and self-centred modern world. 

As mysnakesau pointed out, only in different words, credit where credit is due. Stick your chest out – you’ve well and truly earned the right to! A champion’s effort. My wish for you is that you reap the reward of on-going happiness for your efforts.

Blue


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## waruikazi (Jun 4, 2011)

A bloke i know really well, is not mentally ill, but he's struggling with a moral dilemma. He's never happy, sometimes he's less unhappy than other times but he's never really that happy. Every now and then he thinks he has it all sorted but then something always hits him with a reality check. If you met him you wouldn't know he's not happy but really most days he's not.

He loves doing things for the people he loves. I recon he's the kind of guy that will go out of his way to help a mate even if it means getting himself into strife. I recon he just loves to make people happy. That is pretty well what he devotes his life to, just wanting everyone he loves to be happy.

That appears to be the crux of his problem. He's usually so unhappy that he doesn't see the point to it all, not that he wants to end it he just doesn't see the point to life but he doesn't want to upset the important people in his life. We all know how devastating something like that is on the people who loved them. That used to be good enough for him but now he's starting to realise that living for other people is a bit of dumb reason, if you can't make yourself happy why should you care about what other people feel?

I have been trying to convince him otherwise, which is hard on me too. Life can be really good, it can suck sometimes too but the good moments surely make up for it. But now he's even got me convinced. If life sucks that badly for him why shouldn't everyone be happy for him to end his suffering?

How can people be so selfish? When life sucks so hard and there is such a quick fix why should he have to worry about what others would feel?

He's tried to get help, He doesn't want to talke to friends because he doesn't want to upset them. I mean having something like that put on you is a massive burden, even for me and he doesn't want to seem like a whingey little bitch. I know he dialled the lifeline number before but hung up because he didn't want to put his problems on someone else. 

What can i do for him. This is doing my head in.


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## Wally (Jun 4, 2011)

I'm not sure you can help Gordo, for some the darkness is always there. It can be pushed back by doing the things you described - helping others etc.. but it always returns in your own time.


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## waruikazi (Jun 4, 2011)

Wally76 said:


> I'm not sure you can help Gordo, for some the darkness is always there. It can be pushed back by doing the things you described - helping others etc.. but it always returns in your own time.



So what is the point when everything sucks that bad?


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## Wally (Jun 4, 2011)

I don't have the answer. I really wish I did. A pointless life is terrible. Meds may help, but your friend needs to cross that bridge.


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## mysnakesau (Jun 4, 2011)

I say the only thing you can do for someone like that is to just be their friend. Don't try to fix anything, just be a friend and socialise. He's obviously not ready to talk about it so perhaps distraction may work. Organise outings that he will go along to - boys night out, fishing, go watch the drag cars, whatever, just don't bring up anything, just be there as a friend enjoying his company. I know exactly where he's coming from. I suffer in silence because i don't like burdening my family. I held onto a 25yr old issue without breathing a word to anybody because I was scared ppl would think I was whinging about something that is so long out of date. I tried the counselling thing but I was embarassed and uncomfortable to talk about it. I just want people to be my friend, to share a laugh, go out and have fun like nothing is wrong. Distractions work for me. When my mind is kept busy I forget to think about the things that upset me. Just be that special friend for him Gordan. Watch the footy or live for today but let him be the one to bring up the topics that need to be discussed. If he doesn't, there is not much more you can do. He will appreciate you being a mate that he can call up to have have a beer, a chit chat and laugh. At the end of the day if he can say he had a great day, you've done a lot for him.

trying to help someone who doesn't want it will only drive them away.


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## Dan40D (Jun 4, 2011)

Gordo, in my experience it sounds like your friend has a classic mental illness not a moral issue. While it may sound like a moral issue where you say "_That used to be good enough for him but now he's starting to realise that living for other people is a bit of dumb reason, if you can't make yourself happy why should you care about what other people feel?" _it is more than likely a mental illness that has got him to this stage in the first place.

Trying to help a person that does not want to help themselves is possibly the most frustrating part of mental health. As mysnake has said, the best you can do is be a friend and take on the advise i gave above, don't try to be a psychiatrist, contact Lifeline or Beyond Blue *yourself* and ask them for some advise on what to do. 

Mental illness is the most common illness in Australia, but it is also the most mis-understood, mid-diagnosed and mis-treated by far. More than 60% of people living with a mental illness either don't know they have one, or have being mis-disnosed.


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## waruikazi (Jun 4, 2011)

But he's not going to get it by himself. He'll either power on and feel better for a while, get worse or do something that is going to hurt so many people.


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## Dan40D (Jun 4, 2011)

Bluetongue1 said:


> Dan,
> 
> Thankyou for sharing your story with us and for providing such a terrific insight into mental illness from the other side of the fence. Thankyou you also for the window into the love have for your wife and how much you genuinely care. It is heart warming to see such values in action in our rather transient and self-centred modern world.
> 
> ...


 
Thankyou Blue, this is of course only a small snap shot of what we have been through without spilling our whole lives onto a forum. As i said, there were indeed times where i wondered whether it was all worth it, but love is the strongest bond known to man and there is no way i was willing to give up. It does make me proud of where we are today, we have made many sacrifices but a life together is certainly worth everything we have been through.

We have a little motto in our house that i will share with you all to remember when you are feeling down, _*A smile costs less than electricity yet it gives off more light.*_



waruikazi said:


> But he's not going to get it by himself. He'll either power on and feel better for a while, get worse or do something that is going to hurt so many people.


 
Gordo, this becomes a moral issue for you, if/when do you step in. The absolute worst thing you can do to someone with a mental illness is to break thier trust, so its a catch 22. You can either do nothing and hope that everything is ok, or you can get some information for the person and hope that they don't take it the wrong way. Taking the advise that i have given you above will help you as well.


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## waruikazi (Jun 4, 2011)

Thanks mate


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## Renenet (Jun 4, 2011)

Waruikazi, 

It's really hard to know what to do. Being there for your friend is a great start. However, I think if that's all you do you might end up in a holding pattern where nothing changes. It's a delicate situation. 

You mentioned that your friend has tried to call Lifeline before but hung up because he didn't want to put his problems on others. It sounds like he knows he needs help, but, for whatever reason, doesn't feel comfortable spilling his guts. It might help to gently point out that the person on the other end of the line is there to help people who are feeling down - it's their job. It's not like they're family or friends. 

As Dan suggested, contact Lifeline or Beyond Blue and ask them for tips. In the beginning you might need to help him by accompanying him to appointments. Often it's those first few steps that are the hardest. Once the treatment is rolling, it will hopefully get easier.

Good luck.


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## Bluetongue1 (Jun 5, 2011)

waruikazi said:


> A bloke i know really well, is not mentally ill, but he's struggling with a moral dilemma....


 
I have to agree that your friend is displaying classic symptoms of mental illness. As suggested, he doesn’t really see it as such. He probably sees it as a weakenss, an inability to cope with something others cope with no worries. Well, as the figures Dan quoted indicate – others DON”T COPE "no worries". They do the same as your friend - they hide it. 

If left unchecked it gets worse. It often results in marriage breakdowns, alcoholism, drug taking and isolation from others and ultimately suicide. 

What is happening in your friend’s body is a chemical imbalance. By helping others, he has been causing his body to produce those chemicals that do make you feel good, such as endorphins. However, the short fall in the critical chemicals is evidently getting worse and the endorphins are no longer covering it even when they are released. His illness appears to be getting worse.

It may or may not be the case that his moral dilemma triggered the illness. If it did, his brain will benefit from re-routing of nerve pathways associated with this memory. That is where appropriate counselling and therapy can help. If it wasn’t caused by that, he probably still needs to unlearn that association. 

Unfortunately we cannot see inside the human body to determine neural pathways and release of neurotransmitters. This is where a good medical practitioner comes in. It is invariably a bit of trial and error but through appropriate diagnosis and then finding the treatment that works for him, the illness your friend has can be counteracted and his life can return to something a lot more normal.

Bearing in mind that I am not qualified to make an assessment, it sounds like he is getting towards the serious stage. I will warrant that it is now affecting his relationships with other friends, his family, even his work performance. I’d be happy to be wrong on that score.

The advice already given is excellent. You could email what you have told us to Beyond Blue (or even the whole thread) and see what they advise. 

Oh yeah… because your friend is “feeling” this and puts that down to something he did, he doesn’t see how some outside him can help. He doesn’t know it is to do with incorrect functioning of his nervous system – which can be corrected to a lesser or greater degree with the right treatment. On the inside looking out you just don’t see it!

I also have concerns for you. You can lead a horse to water but it is not your doing if it refuses to drink. Don’t take on responsibility for what may happen. It is not of your making and you do not have control of the situation – so do not take responsibility for that which is out of your hands. You have done all the right things to date, more than could reasonably be expected of a good mate. As has been explained, it is an extremely challenging and difficult set of circumstances – so difficult to know how hard to push and in which direction. 

I concur with the advice given and simply wanted to provide some understanding from a different perspective. I hope you find it useful.

Good mates are hard to find – he’s fortunate to have you as one.

Blue


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## Sezzzzzzzzz (Jun 5, 2011)

waruikazi said:


> A bloke i know really well, is not mentally ill, but he's struggling with a moral dilemma. He's never happy, sometimes he's less unhappy than other times but he's never really that happy. Every now and then he thinks he has it all sorted but then something always hits him with a reality check. If you met him you wouldn't know he's not happy but really most days he's not.
> 
> He loves doing things for the people he loves. I recon he's the kind of guy that will go out of his way to help a mate even if it means getting himself into strife. I recon he just loves to make people happy. That is pretty well what he devotes his life to, just wanting everyone he loves to be happy.
> 
> ...


 
I think all you can do is be there for him like he is for everyone else. I also spend alot of time trying to make other people happy without regard to how i feel cos its easier to make others happy then it is to make myslf happy. Just let him know you are there for him, always and unconditionally.


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## waruikazi (Jun 5, 2011)

He talked to a good friend of mine this morning. She used to work in a doctors surgery and knows a good doctor that they are going to see next weekend. I hope it works out for him.


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## Renenet (Jun 5, 2011)

That's great news, Waruikazi. I hope your friend gets the treatment he needs.


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## Dan40D (Jun 5, 2011)

Thats great news Gordo, admitting that there is a problem and talking about it in the first place is the first half of the battle. Beware, your friend will probably get very nervous as the appointment approaches and may well try to get out of it, do everything you can to encourage him to go without stepping over the line, some times tough love is what is needed. 

Please let us know how he goes if he doesn't mind.


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## Bluetongue1 (Jun 6, 2011)

Ditto


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## kawasakirider (Jun 6, 2011)

Past few years I've had bad depression, anxiety and paranoia. I hate it... It's debilitating, I'm completely different to the way I used to be. I'm way too scared of death to bump myself, so I just sleep a lot. I often feel like just going to sleep forever. 

I consider it a personal weakness and downfall, so I've refused attempts to use medication. I want a cure, not a band aid.


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## CrystalMoon (Jun 6, 2011)

kawasakirider said:


> Past few years I've had bad depression, anxiety and paranoia. I hate it... It's debilitating, I'm completely different to the way I used to be. I'm way too scared of death to bump myself, so I just sleep a lot. I often feel like just going to sleep forever.
> 
> I consider it a personal weakness and downfall, so I've refused attempts to use medication. I want a cure, not a band aid.


KR, I am not medicated. It may not be a good idea for some. However I cannot function as a Mother if I go on the meds they expect me to. It is good if you can find a GP that is in the know about alternative treatments for mental disorders. It can be done with a lot of work and consistancy, I am living breathing proof.
Kind regards
Crystal X


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## kawasakirider (Jun 6, 2011)

CrystalMoon said:


> KR, I am not medicated. It may not be a good idea for some. However I cannot function as a Mother if I go on the meds they expect me to. It is good if you can find a GP that is in the know about alternative treatments for mental disorders. It can be done with a lot of work and consistancy, I am living breathing proof.
> Kind regards
> Crystal X



What alternatives are there? I've spoken to someone. It didn't work. I think it may be a bit of PTSD as it began and got worse due to certain things. It makes me so frustrated on top of everything else. I know how everything used to be, how I used to be, and now I feel it's been stripped from me.... A shell of my former self.

Glad your situation is working Crystal. I've no idea how I'd function on certain medication, I've never given it a go. I feel like it's for weak people that can't get up and dust themselves off (no offense to anyone here), but no matter how hard I try, I can't dust myself off and go back to normal. I hate the idea of being on medication to be normal, though. It makes me feel disabled.


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## pharskie (Jun 6, 2011)

i suffer from pretty bad anxiety. i am medicated for it but it gets a bit much sometimes. its just so terrible the medication is so addictive aswell. i feel for anyone with the problem, it crushes you and you think everything is going to end.


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## bluewater (Jun 6, 2011)

I know what you say about not wanting to resort to meds, but due to circumstance I found myself depressed but the anxiety was the killer, very nearly literally. Call it weak or what you will but for some medication is enough to not cure but just "take the edge off". At the end of the day it all comes down to personal choice but hey, what ever works, and if popping a pill a day keeps the Deamons away then I'm happy


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## CrystalMoon (Jun 6, 2011)

kawasakirider said:


> What alternatives are there? I've spoken to someone. It didn't work. I think it may be a bit of PTSD as it began and got worse due to certain things. It makes me so frustrated on top of everything else. I know how everything used to be, how I used to be, and now I feel it's been stripped from me.... A shell of my former self.
> 
> Glad your situation is working Crystal. I've no idea how I'd function on certain medication, I've never given it a go. I feel like it's for weak people that can't get up and dust themselves off (no offense to anyone here), but no matter how hard I try, I can't dust myself off and go back to normal. I hate the idea of being on medication to be normal, though. It makes me feel disabled.


I get how you feel....I have only just in the last 10 months clawed my way out of the pits of hell(my own pit)I feel for you Kr, cause it is like the shell you've become is a mockery of your former self
the real key for this lock is to be correctly diagnosed, then work out a plan of treatment(non medicated, medicated)you can attack this on a few different levels. There are strategies and tools you can be taught to work through your feelings, moods etc. It is not as simple as laying down and spilling your guts to a stranger or telling some-one what you think they want to hear. You have to commit to freeing yourself from your pain, sometimes it can become habitual to feel this way(and in a strange way comforting and familiar)I feel Kr, perhaps you could open your mind to accept a program of mild meds plus alternative treatment eg joining mentoring programs etc(I am training in such a program)plus utilizing herbs and being taught meditation from a skilled practitioner(one thing that really helps me)I dont feel one single method is a fix all, I believe you need to have companion methods so they can bounce off each other and put you in your correct self. I would feel hurt that you could meander through your wonderful life not firing on all your 8 cylinders(that is like swearing)You deserve to find your real self again  You can pm me anytime if you need to bounce off treatments ideas meds, My inbox is always open X


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## kawasakirider (Jun 6, 2011)

I know how tough the circumstances can be mate. To wake up and be disappointed that you did, to loath yourself. To sleep for months. Just my opinion, if I have to be medicated to enjoy it, I don't believe I really would be.

Plus I'm worried about long term side affects. Eventually you'd have to up the dosage until it doesn't work anymore, and then what?



CrystalMoon said:


> I get how you feel....I have only just in the last 10 months clawed my way out of the pits of hell(my own pit)I feel for you Kr, cause it is like the shell you've become is a mockery of your former self
> the real key for this lock is to be correctly diagnosed, then work out a plan of treatment(non medicated, medicated)you can attack this on a few different levels. There are strategies and tools you can be taught to work through your feelings, moods etc. It is not as simple as laying down and spilling your guts to a stranger or telling some-one what you think they want to hear. You have to commit to freeing yourself from your pain, sometimes it can become habitual to feel this way(and in a strange way comforting and familiar)I feel Kr, perhaps you could open your mind to accept a program of mild meds plus alternative treatment eg joining mentoring programs etc(I am training in such a program)plus utilizing herbs and being taught meditation from a skilled practitioner(one thing that really helps me)I dont feel one single method is a fix all, I believe you need to have companion methods so they can bounce off each other and put you in your correct self. I would feel hurt that you could meander through your wonderful life not firing on all your 8 cylinders(that is like swearing)You deserve to find your real self again  You can pm me anytime if you need to bounce off treatments ideas meds, My inbox is always open X


 
Thanks Crystal, I appreciate it. It just frustrates me that to be (somewhat) normal, I have to play mind games with myself when I never had to previously. A mockery of my former self is exactly right.

I've been given exercises to go through in my head. They work a bit, I guess...


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## bluewater (Jun 6, 2011)

I get where you are coming from KR, I'm relatively new to this my self, I never expected to end up like this and it does my head in, the anxiety, the sleepiness, the loneliness is incredible, it's quite amazing how lonely you can feel even while surrounded by people


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