# and the award for silliest thing said at IRS expo goes to...



## jack (Apr 10, 2011)

i was behind an exhibit all day and had a chance to communicate with the public. here are my favourite bits:

the bearded gent who asked if any of the geckos were poisonous, because when he was younger there were dangerous biting geckos in the woodpile.

the trail bike rider who had seen a 14 foot diamond.

and the woman i overheard telling her children that the large amphibians they were looking at were canetoads, despite the very clear label stating they were Green Tree Frogs.


----------



## Eddie2257 (Apr 10, 2011)

hahaha yer i get things like this all the time.
because im known as the kid who catches snakes at school every time someone see a snake that think they have to come and tell me.
i always get my dad killed a brown snake in the backyark on the weekend. and when they discribe the snake it ends up being a yellow faced whipe snake. every single week this happens lol. sounds like a good expo wish i could of been there.


----------



## Defective (Apr 10, 2011)

jack said:


> the trail bike rider who had seen a 14 foot diamond.


 
how is this silly? in the hinterlands in malanie QLD my friend saw a 15ft...they are bigger in the wild then the captive bred ones it took 5mins for the diamond to cross the yard because it was so big


----------



## jack (Apr 10, 2011)

actually no shellfisch, amusing as those statements were, my highlights were all the parents of enraptured children who asked me about reptile licencing and how to go about buying a pet for their child.


----------



## Inkage (Apr 10, 2011)

Lambert said:


> how is this silly? in the hinterlands in malanie QLD my friend saw a 15ft...they are bigger in the wild then the captive bred ones it took 5mins for the diamond to cross the yard because it was so big


 

Diamonds in QLD?


----------



## Bearded_Lady (Apr 10, 2011)

woman with a child pointing to bearded dragon: oh we have one of those at home
vendor: a bearded dragon?
woman: yeah that!
vendor: ...
woman: so do they need a light and stuff?
vendor: !!!


----------



## Defective (Apr 10, 2011)

in the hinterlands, my mate filmed this 15ft diamond crossing the garden, and he's removed 2 from there garage, he knows they won't bite him unless provoked and so he doesn't kill them...much to my liking.


----------



## shellfisch (Apr 10, 2011)

jack said:


> actually no shellfisch, amusing as those statements were, my highlights were all the parents of enraptured children who asked me about reptile licencing and how to go about buying a pet for their child.



As I said earlier Jack. In NO way was my comment meant to upset you or anybody. I don't make a habit of upsetting anybody.

Something appears to have been lost in translation :?

I am glad that you had an otherwise good day


----------



## Inkage (Apr 10, 2011)

Indeed, Its unfriendly killing QLD diamonds that are 15ft. Good job by your friend.


----------



## jack (Apr 10, 2011)

i wasn't offended shellfisch


----------



## Defective (Apr 10, 2011)

plus he knows i go ape at people that kill pythons, common knowledge that snakes are more scared of us then we are of them.


----------



## jack (Apr 10, 2011)

but lambert may well be when i point out that her post is equal in humourous content to those i initially referred to...


----------



## grizz (Apr 10, 2011)

I've been trying for years to offend him... can't do it!


----------



## sweetangel (Apr 10, 2011)

Lambert said:


> how is this silly? in the hinterlands in malanie QLD my friend saw a 15ft...they are bigger in the wild then the captive bred ones it took 5mins for the diamond to cross the yard because it was so big


 
most probably a coastal, i dont believe diamonds get that far up the coast  certainly not 15ft one!


----------



## grizz (Apr 10, 2011)

Lambert said:


> in the hinterlands, my mate filmed this 15ft diamond crossing the garden, and he's removed 2 from there garage, he knows they won't bite him unless provoked and so he doesn't kill them...much to my liking.


 
probably a broadhead up there... they do look similar!


----------



## Defective (Apr 10, 2011)

i'll try and get a pic off him, he resides in NSW but goes to maleny on some weekends



jack said:


> but lambert may well be when i point out that her post is equal in humourous content to those i initially referred to...


 
why would i be offended? might seem humourous to you but i've seen the video


----------



## jack (Apr 10, 2011)

grizz said:


> I've been trying for years to offend him... can't do it!


 
you could always point out that you have a bigger snake than me...


----------



## grizz (Apr 10, 2011)

jack said:


> you could always point out that you have a bigger snake than me...


 
try replying to this not in bad taste!


----------



## Torah (Apr 10, 2011)

jack said:


> i was behind an exhibit all day and had a chance to communicate with the public. here are my favourite bits:
> 
> the bearded gent who asked if any of the geckos were poisonous, because when he was younger there were dangerous biting geckos in the woodpile.
> 
> ...


 
First of all I WASNT the mother but Id say something like that to my kids to get away with not buying it  .... Lol well maybe


----------



## scorps (Apr 10, 2011)

grizz said:


> probably a broadhead up there... they do look similar!





Hahah yeah mate, my mates sisters uncles cousin see's those big 15 foot broadheads up around qld's all the time


----------



## Torah (Apr 10, 2011)

Bearded_Lady said:


> woman with a child pointing to bearded dragon: oh we have one of those at home
> vendor: a bearded dragon?
> woman: yeah that!
> vendor: ...
> ...


 
WT#


----------



## snakeluvver (Apr 10, 2011)

Torah said:


> First of all I WASNT the mother but Id say something like that to my kids to get away with not buying it  .... Lol well maybe


 Why wouldnt you want to get it!


----------



## Torah (Apr 10, 2011)

snakeluvver said:


> Why wouldnt you want to get it!


 
not that I wouldnt want to get it , just that I think Ive come to the realisation that I have enough reps ... whats that thread name ??? Ummm "You know yourve got enough reptiles when........" no-one will go out with you and the one that does dumps you cause he cant sleep in your room with all the reptile looking at him ...lol ....


----------



## bigfella77 (Apr 10, 2011)

sweetangel said:


> most probably a coastal, i dont believe diamonds get that far up the coast  certainly not 15ft one!



Dont know about Queensland but having spent every weekday for the last 12yrs bashing through the bush between Blue Mountains and Port Maquarie, i can assure you there are diamonds out there reaching close enough to the 15ft mark, ive seen enough of em.


----------



## Wally (Apr 10, 2011)

And so this evenings entertainment has been decided.


----------



## -Peter (Apr 10, 2011)

Lambert said:


> in the hinterlands, my mate filmed this 15ft diamond crossing the garden, and he's removed 2 from there garage, he knows they won't bite him unless provoked and so he doesn't kill them...much to my liking.



Was there a boomgate, flashing lights or bells. 
Could have been a train...


----------



## beeman (Apr 10, 2011)

For all of you that have this fantasy dream of 12-15 foot carpets snap out of it as you look very foolish!

There was a reward offered by a member of this site over a few years of quite a large sum of money for conclusive proof of such and yes no one can provide it so his money is and always was safe!


----------



## grizz (Apr 10, 2011)

-Peter said:


> Was there a boomgate, flashing lights or bells.
> Could have been a train...


 
This is gold


----------



## bigfella77 (Apr 10, 2011)

beeman said:


> For all of you that have this fantasy dream of 12-15 foot carpets snap out of it as you look very foolish!
> 
> There was a reward offered by a member of this site over a few years of quite a large sum of money for conclusive proof of such and yes no one can provide it so his money is and always was safe!



Is this offer still on the table?


----------



## blakehose (Apr 10, 2011)

Lambert, can you please get the video of this 15ft diamond off your friend? I'm sure we would all love to see this fairytale creature...


----------



## Defective (Apr 10, 2011)

yeah peter because a train goes though the middle of someones backyard and is covered in scales


----------



## scorps (Apr 10, 2011)

Wasnt the offer from jonno and the reward a carton of grog


----------



## bigfella77 (Apr 10, 2011)

beeman said:


> For all of you that have this fantasy dream of 12-15 foot carpets snap out of it as you look very foolish!
> 
> How much is this reward, and is it still on the table?


----------



## Wally (Apr 10, 2011)

beeman said:


> For all of you that have this fantasy dream of 12-15 foot carpets snap out of it as you look very foolish!
> 
> There was a reward offered by a member of this site over a few years of quite a large sum of money for conclusive proof of such and yes no one can provide it so his money is and always was safe!



Awww c'mon beeman, I wanted to be regaled with stories of 15' Diamonds.


----------



## Australis (Apr 10, 2011)

Lambert,
There is NO Diamond pythons in QLD... let a lone world record breaking sized ones.


----------



## Ramsayi (Apr 10, 2011)

Think these huge northern diamonds are most often found in and around someones special crop.


----------



## Bez84 (Apr 10, 2011)

Yes i would like to see footage of these 4 and a half metre diamonds.
Hell id like to see footage of wild diamonds in qld lol.


----------



## grizz (Apr 10, 2011)

See what you've started jack


----------



## FAY (Apr 10, 2011)

Well, people I know live near Coonamble. They have seen pics of diamonds and swear they are there. I personally don't think their range is much beyond the Great Dividing Range.


----------



## bigfella77 (Apr 10, 2011)

-Matt- said:


> I'll give you ten grand if you can show me a 15ft carpet.....and $20k to Lambert if she can show me a diamond from Melany (doesn't matter if it's 1ft or 15ft)



Well my first post said "close enough to 15ft" but i should be able to rustle up some pics of a 13.5 ft diamond. How much of your ten grand will that get me?. I wasnt quick enough to get pics of the few ive seen bigger.


----------



## saximus (Apr 10, 2011)

Lambert said:


> yeah peter because a train goes though the middle of someones backyard and is covered in scales


 Umm he was being sarcastic because nothing like what you are describing exists


----------



## cris (Apr 10, 2011)

beeman said:


> For all of you that have this fantasy dream of 12-15 foot carpets snap out of it as you look very foolish!
> 
> There was a reward offered by a member of this site over a few years of quite a large sum of money for conclusive proof of such and yes no one can provide it so his money is and always was safe!


 
As far as i know nothing has ever been payed despite the person seeing 2 carpets over 3m in a farily short peroid of time in urban areas, plus plenty of others who have found animals over that length. Its not something you see everyday but carpets can get well over 3m.



Australis said:


> Lambert,
> There is NO Diamond pythons in QLD... let a lone world record breaking sized ones.


 
All east coast carpets are the same as 'diamonds' are you racist?


----------



## DanTheMan (Apr 10, 2011)

This is the biggest "Maleny Diamond" I have ever seen, what size do you guys reckon it is? Must be close to 15ft. Sorry about the picture quality and lack of its full body.


----------



## dangles (Apr 10, 2011)

:?nice diamond:?

looks more like a BHP to me


----------



## grizz (Apr 10, 2011)

DanTheMan said:


> This is the biggest Maleny Diamond I have ever seen, what size do you guys reckon it is? Must be close to 15ft. Sorry about the picture quality and lack of its full body.



6ft, that's a midget wrangling a spotted python


----------



## Australis (Apr 10, 2011)

cris said:


> All east coast carpets are the same as 'diamonds' are you racist?



Im not racist no.I would probably side with your lumping though.


----------



## James..94 (Apr 10, 2011)

dangles said:


> :?nice diamond:?
> 
> looks more like a BHP to me


 
Na mate Keelback!!


----------



## bigfella77 (Apr 10, 2011)

On the hunt for the pics already,


----------



## DanTheMan (Apr 10, 2011)

Another pic but still not a full body shot. It is being held well infront of its tail as high as I can. Any guesses?


----------



## dangles (Apr 10, 2011)

how tall are u dan?


----------



## saximus (Apr 10, 2011)

dangles said:


> how tall are u dan?


 Was gonna ask the same thing. Unless you're 7' tall I wouldn't say it's 15' snake


----------



## Specks (Apr 10, 2011)

Probe 8.5-9.5 ft long probably, nice find aye
Also a great "maleny diamond" ;-) haha


----------



## Jonno from ERD (Apr 10, 2011)

I was just pointed in the direction of this thread...I can't remember exactly what my original offer was, and I've tried searching for the thread but I can't find it. From memory, it was a carton to see any _Morelia spilota_ species over 10 feet long (which has cost me just one carton, to John Cann) and $10,000 to simply measure any of the Carpet species over 12 feet.

The Carpet that was caught by Greg Hollis and others was only 11 feet 4 inches.


----------



## dangles (Apr 10, 2011)

if your around 6ft dan im guessing approx11-12ft long


----------



## bigfella77 (Apr 10, 2011)

-Matt- said:


> Was it bigger than the snake in Dan's pictures?



Yes, although it was a bit leaner. From memory it was caught in early spring.


----------



## cement (Apr 10, 2011)

I own the largest diamond I have ever seen and she is 2.75m (9ft).
I also have been relocating snakes here on the central coast for years and see a hell of a lot of diamonds.
The text books max them out at 3m, well even the very old females that are declining on their way to death from old age, still haven't beaten 2.7m.
I would be very impressed to see a diamond over 9.5 ft


----------



## Jonno from ERD (Apr 10, 2011)

It's big - but without a tape measure over it, who knows?

It's interesting to note that three out of four of the 3.1m + Carpets I have seen have been slender. The overweight one had been kept in squalor and pumped full of food for years, before it was handed over to a wildlife park.


----------



## DanTheMan (Apr 10, 2011)

I'm just over 6ft (1.9m)


----------



## kawasakirider (Apr 10, 2011)

Don't snakes have indeterminate growth? This conflicts with anything said about a snakes maximum size, so I don't understand how it could be true. Could explain huge snakes, though.


----------



## saximus (Apr 10, 2011)

Do they grow until they die but once they reach "max" length the growth slows so much that it's basically imperceptible. That's how it's been explained to me anyway


----------



## bigfella77 (Apr 10, 2011)

Jonno from ERD said:


> It's big - but without a tape measure over it, who knows?
> 
> It's interesting to note that three out of four of the 3.1m + Carpets I have seen have been slender. The overweight one had been kept in squalor and pumped full of food for years, before it was handed over to a wildlife park.


I have to agree with this, the biggest have always looked unusually thin, and rather docile, maybe they are to old and slow to hunt effectively but im not expert, i can only go on what i have seen.


----------



## jack (Apr 10, 2011)

so the trail bike rider was onto something... 

anyone experienced a reaction to a gecko kiss- should Dr. Fry investigate eastern stone gecko saliva for neurotoxins?
or seen a green canetoad?


----------



## cris (Apr 10, 2011)

Jonno from ERD said:


> It's interesting to note that three out of four of the 3.1m + Carpets I have seen have been slender.


 
The measure of a snake its its volume or mass, not just its length. I have no idea why people fuss about lengths like drunken fishermen. A carton of beer out for a call out fee for a snake catcher would be kind of stupid...


----------



## Specks (Apr 10, 2011)

DanTheMan said:


> I'm just over 6ft (1.9m)


 haha, 1.9 m
My mate who is bloody tall is 195cm or 6ft 6 in.
Just looking how your built your pushing 6.
No offence, but if you were to see someone 1.9m tall you would think, dam they are tall


----------



## DanTheMan (Apr 10, 2011)

You could be right there specksta1er, maybe nothing else I said was true either? Maybe thats not a Diamond after all?!

People certainly need to settle down with their guesstimations, yes its a big Carpet, but its not that big!

And there is no Diamonds in Qld! Carpets are variable snakes, I have seen one that would be mistaken for an insane jungle, or a hybrid. Matt, do you have any pics of your carpet? That one would confuse these people.


----------



## Specks (Apr 10, 2011)

Tony harrison recently found a 3.1 m carpet. That's what I remember it to be. The thing was huge. Its head as big as his Palm. An awesome sight to see


----------



## Torah (Apr 10, 2011)

-Matt- said:


> I'll give you ten grand if you can show me a 15ft carpet.....and $20k to Lambert if she can show me a diamond from Maleny (doesn't matter if it's 1ft or 15ft)


 
Well DAYUM what do you for employment ??? lol


----------



## saximus (Apr 10, 2011)

It's an easy offer to make because he will never be taken up on it. That's the point


----------



## Torah (Apr 10, 2011)

DanTheMan said:


> This is the biggest "Maleny Diamond" I have ever seen, what size do you guys reckon it is? Must be close to 15ft. Sorry about the picture quality and lack of its full body.


 
LOL Nice Diamond ....


----------



## dangles (Apr 10, 2011)

mmmm maybe with some supaglue and.....................


----------



## bigfella77 (Apr 10, 2011)

-Matt- said:


> That snake has been measured and is by far the biggest carpet that I have seen (after seeing a lot of carpets) and it doesn't even come close to some of the sizes claimed in this thread. It's amazing how many people claim huge carpets and then are shocked when a tape measure is run over the snake and it turns out that it is less than half what they have predicted! Claims of big snakes are so common but no one ever seems to be able to produce these monster snakes when it comes time to accuratly measure them.
> Oh and I have never seen a Diamond Python in the Sunshine Coast hinterland (Maleny area) ...I should probably start looking harder?


 Your right Matt, things do get smaller when measured. We originally thought this one was bigger turned to be a little smaller than we thought. However me being 6ft4 it was still more than twice my body length with about a foot to spare. This was a wild snake and was released back into the wild, witnessed by half a dozen people who im chasing as we speak to obtain pics.


----------



## Bez84 (Apr 10, 2011)

I measured my diamonds with herp measure the other day and the biggest i have is a black and white female whos just a tad over 8.5 feet using herp measure.


cement said:


> I own the largest diamond I have ever seen and she is 2.75m (9ft).
> I also have been relocating snakes here on the central coast for years and see a hell of a lot of diamonds.
> The text books max them out at 3m, well even the very old females that are declining on their way to death from old age, still haven't beaten 2.7m.
> I would be very impressed to see a diamond over 9.5 ft


----------



## Specks (Apr 10, 2011)

DanTheMan said:


> You could be right there specksta1er, maybe nothing else I said was true either? Maybe thats not a Diamond after all?!
> 
> People certainly need to settle down with their guesstimations, yes its a big Carpet, but its not that big!
> 
> And there is no Diamonds in Qld! Carpets are variable snakes, I have seen one that would be mistaken for an insane jungle, or a hybrid. Matt, do you have any pics of your carpet? That one would confuse these people.


 
That is not a diamond,one simple question, what habitat do diamonds live in?Basically answers itself


----------



## dangles (Apr 10, 2011)

dan out of curiosity are you a dentist and thats why u cant show your face on the internet?


----------



## SamNabz (Apr 10, 2011)

dangles said:


> dan out of curiosity are you a dentist and thats why u cant show your face on the internet?


 
Lmfao!


----------



## jamesjr (Apr 10, 2011)

Posted this pic before, captive 3m+
I have seen many big 9ft carpets over the years and only seen two that were a genuine 10ft+,
I highly doubt you would find any carpet bigger than that 11ft intergrade found, from looking at the pics, it was a monster!!!


----------



## DanTheMan (Apr 10, 2011)

dangles said:


> dan out of curiosity are you a dentist and thats why u cant show your face on the internet?


 
Yes I am actually.

And as Matt said, I know it s not a Diamond! It is a common old Coastal found in the Sunshine Coast hinterland. Its amazing how many people cant understand sarcasm. This thread is giving me aids.


----------



## killimike (Apr 10, 2011)

DanTheMan said:


> Its amazing how many people cant understand sarcasm. This thread is giving me aids.


 
OMG I am so offended that you said this! You are such a bigoted, racist homophobe!

Love the pics and discussion on giant carpets, thanks for the interesting thread guys.


----------



## DanTheMan (Apr 10, 2011)

Me in a nutshell.


----------



## Torah (Apr 11, 2011)

So what exactly was the purpose of this thread then ??? Anyone ???


----------



## damian83 (Apr 11, 2011)

Eddie2257 said:


> hahaha yer i get things like this all the time.
> because im known as the kid who catches snakes at school every time someone see a snake that think they have to come and tell me.
> i always get my dad killed a brown snake in the backyark on the weekend. and when they discribe the snake it ends up being a yellow faced whipe snake. every single week this happens lol. sounds like a good expo wish i could of been there.



i know its always the way...
has anyone has snakes in the house?
i friends missus got a neighbout to come and kill and baby rbb that was in the bathroom, i was furious when she posted it on facebook


----------



## zack13 (Apr 11, 2011)

Torah said:


> So what exactly was the purpose of this thread then ??? Anyone ???


 
You read the title yet?


----------



## Torah (Apr 12, 2011)

zack13 said:


> You read the title yet?


 
bahahahaha yah ! I actually meant the bit about the diamond thats a coastal etc ...

I get why Jack started it ! der


----------



## saximus (Apr 12, 2011)

That came from the second point in Jack's OP and people ran with it and forgot the point of the thread


----------



## Audio_anthrax (Apr 12, 2011)

If not anything, this thread provided quite a bit of entertainment but all in all guys u need to remember 1 thing.

"arguing on the internet is like being in the special olympics, yeah sure you won, but it still makes u retarded"

Not my phrase, mearly one found on a de-motivational poster, and was not ment to offend ^_^


----------



## saximus (Apr 12, 2011)

lol AA I've heard that before and it always makes me laugh. This thread has definitely been entertaining especially with people who actually claim that their cousin's brother's dog has seen these mythical creatures. I just think it has strayed from Jack's original purpose/aim


----------



## Snakeluvver2 (Apr 12, 2011)

Hahaha it happened to me today actually. The neighbor saw I had snakes and told me she saw a snake in her backyard that was as long as her car. I asked her if she had a Go-kart.


----------



## Jk888 (Apr 12, 2011)

better to educate rather than humiliate


----------



## saximus (Apr 12, 2011)

Or educate then humiliate on here


----------



## Snakeluvver2 (Apr 12, 2011)

Yer well it's better to drink water rather than beer.


----------



## -Katana- (Apr 12, 2011)

Jannico said:


> Yer well it's better to drink water rather than beer.


 
Wash your mouth out with soap!

And besides Shiraz trumps Beer except on a really hot day.


----------



## hrafna (Apr 12, 2011)

Akwendi said:


> Wash your mouth out with soap!
> 
> And besides Shiraz trumps Beer except on a really hot day.


 maybe, but fermented potato juice beats all!!!


----------



## jack (Apr 12, 2011)

saximus said:


> l just think it has strayed from Jack's original purpose/aim


 
it has not strayed at all. 
i began the thread so some of us could have a chuckle at people who had an interest in reptiles (hence were at show) but had yet to learn much about them... 
and reading through this thread i am sure some of us a chuckling indeed.


----------



## -Katana- (Apr 12, 2011)

jack said:


> it has not strayed at all.
> i began the thread so some of us could have a chuckle at people who had an interest in reptiles (hence were at show) but had yet to learn much about them...
> and reading through this thread i am sure some of us a chuckling indeed.



This^^^


----------



## DanTheMan (Apr 12, 2011)

I'm very surprised that legit pics haven't emerged... 




(Sarcasm people, sarcasm)


----------



## Tinky (Apr 15, 2011)

I tried to post a picture of my 13 foot coastal, but it was to big to fit on the screen.


----------



## bigfella77 (Apr 16, 2011)

Pics are supposed to be coming, waiting.


----------

