# Arggh need to let off some steam



## fritzi2009 (Mar 1, 2010)

:evil:I am sick of my Dad's constant nagging about how "terrible I am at looking after my bird."
He has a big cage right, not sure how big but to clean it it takes me at least 30 mins to make it clean enough. His bird lives in a tiny little canary cage so it takes him about 10 seconds to clean it....
He constantly goes on and on about how bad the bird has it, because I don't clean his cage everyday, but my Dad doesn't understand or even care about EVERYTHING else I have to do in my days.
My only day off is Sunday, which is usually spent by my enjoying my one and only sleep in of the week and then doing TAFE work for a good 4-5 hours. Then, forgive me for wanting a social life, I try and see my friends.
During the week, every single day, I am at work AND at TAFE, and doing a 4th tafe class IN MY OWN TIME AT HOME. It might not sound like much for you full time workers or whatever, but for a 17 year old it's pretty full on right now.
He just seems to think I have all this free time lying around which I DON'T!
It's not just the bird thing (I clean his cage every week but he doesn't shut up about how I can't look after him or how he's going to sell him) it's about every single thing that I forget to do or don't do as soon as I come home from tafe at 8 at night.
IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE, how do I make him stop bugging me about every single thing!
It's like he doesn't even appreciate how hard I'm working to get a good career, he just sees it as me making EXCUSES so I don't have to spend my time doing chores at home.
I can't wait till I go to Uni next year and move out.....
I'm fuming hey:evil:


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## jessb (Mar 1, 2010)

Ohhhh, I can't wait until my angelic 4yo daughter turns into a teenager...


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## shellfisch (Mar 1, 2010)

I don't know your situation at all, of course, but would it help to talk to him, and tell him all this, at a time when there is no conflict, and no one is upset?
Calmly, and rationally, outline your feelings....
Maybe you have already done this...


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## -Matt- (Mar 1, 2010)

Its a dad thing.


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## fritzi2009 (Mar 1, 2010)

JessB- teenagers are great , I dont know what you're talking about lol. Nah I admit I'm a little ****** sometimes but this time it's purely his fault >_<

shellfisch - believe me, i've tried, i honestly dont know what to do anymore he just drives me insane, im at the point where im going to bed early so i dont have to be around him and where ill stay out as late as possible so i dont have to put up with him for as long

mattsnake- yeah im glad ill never be a dad


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## Snakelove (Mar 1, 2010)

your dad actually cares about you enough to even wanna talk to you. just be greatful that you have a dad that loves you. lol and maybe take him out to lunch, sit him down and say that you're serious and don't think of you as a small kid anymore. get him to treat you like an adult. thats the key.


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## TahneeMaree (Mar 1, 2010)

I feel your pain lol, 
I get the same thing with my mother. we have cats, but every time mine meows or wants food the poor thing is "wasting away" and I'm a "bad mother to the poor thing" then she turns around and calls him fat (he gets fed at the same time as the other cats) then whenever my Coastal is out and about ... "the poor thing is starving Tahnee! go get a rat for her, you're a horrible mother!" and the same with the beardies, beardies always want food! and I'm always coping shiz from mother about how horrible I am to my pets etc. 
Oh but heaven forbid I get upset over her saying all this shiz, I shouldn't take myself so seriously and "it's just a joke" and it turns into my parentals having a hissy at me for being offended and they start harping on at me about how I'm a B**** and all that. ergh


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## fritzi2009 (Mar 1, 2010)

TahneeMaree said:


> I feel your pain lol,
> I get the same thing with my mother. we have cats, but every time mine meows or wants food the poor thing is "wasting away" and I'm a "bad mother to the poor thing" then she turns around and calls him fat (he gets fed at the same time as the other cats) then whenever my Coastal is out and about ... "the poor thing is starving Tahnee! go get a rat for her, you're a horrible mother!" and the same with the beardies, beardies always want food! and I'm always coping shiz from mother about how horrible I am to my pets etc.
> Oh but heaven forbid I get upset over her saying all this shiz, I shouldn't take myself so seriously and "it's just a joke" and it turns into my parentals having a hissy at me for being offended and they start harping on at me about how I'm a B**** and all that. ergh


 
so I still have at least another 4 years of this? aw man 

and snakelove - the only time my dad talks to me is when he's 
a) telling me to do the dishes/laundry etc
b) yellling at me for being a b***/selfish/ungrateful for some stupid reason such as i forget to say thanks to mum for making dinner, WHICH she doesnt do anymore considering im a vegetarian and i cook my own food
OR when hes asking me if he can borrow money for smokes


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## shellfisch (Mar 1, 2010)

TahneeMaree said:


> I feel your pain lol,
> I get the same thing with my mother. we have cats, but every time mine meows or wants food the poor thing is "wasting away" and I'm a "bad mother to the poor thing" then she turns around and calls him fat (he gets fed at the same time as the other cats) then whenever my Coastal is out and about ... "the poor thing is starving Tahnee! go get a rat for her, you're a horrible mother!" and the same with the beardies, beardies always want food! and I'm always coping shiz from mother about how horrible I am to my pets etc.
> Oh but heaven forbid I get upset over her saying all this shiz, I shouldn't take myself so seriously and "it's just a joke" and it turns into my parentals having a hissy at me for being offended and they start harping on at me about how I'm a B**** and all that. ergh



Mothers equate food with love :lol: I am a living testament to this theory :lol:


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## TahneeMaree (Mar 1, 2010)

lol
When she says stuff about my cat while she's in the kitchen she actually looks to see if she's getting a reaction a few seconds after she says it, I've caught her a few times taking a peek at me in the lounge.
I think she needs more housework to do, she must be getting bored.


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## wranga (Mar 1, 2010)

dont you have a door that you can walkout through? sorry if your not happy at home then leave. i left my parents home when i was 16. knowing what i now know as a parent i wasnt as right as i thought when i was 16y/o. im not sorry that i left home and made a life without my parents. but it really bugs me when kids live at home and winge about how bad things are, but expect everything. if your not happy and dont like what your parent/s say then leave and see if its as easy on your own


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## Jungletrans (Mar 1, 2010)

Just a word from the Dad side , it can be very frustrating trying to get kids to do anything . My 14 yr old Daughter wanted more money , so l made a deal , Keep the kitchen clean and dishes done [ about 2 hours work per week ] $100 , thats $50 per hour tax free , lasted 3 weeks .


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## Snakelove (Mar 1, 2010)

fritzi2009 said:


> so I still have at least another 4 years of this? aw man
> 
> and snakelove - the only time my dad talks to me is when he's
> a) telling me to do the dishes/laundry etc
> ...


my parents are worse but that just makes me that much more determined to get a uni degree. coz they say i cant live by myself unless i get a uni degree and have a full time job. it just pushes me even more to finish sooner. use it to your advantage. i even took summer courses because of them. lol see this is my parents who are living overseas and they still drive me crazy. but thats maybe coz i get mad easily and my temper isn't calm or something who knows. but if you can support yourself seeing as you have a job then walk out the door. =P


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## TahneeMaree (Mar 1, 2010)

eh, in the end it's just a part of growing up IMO, I used to fully hate being at home, but it's becoming water off a ducks back now and the pros of living at home way outweigh cons at the moment. we fight, we rage, but in the end they like having me around and they take care of me and I like the social aspect of living with my family (when we're not raging at eachother) we're either at one end of the scale or the other. Parentals are having trouble letting go of the control and I'm wanting my own space/things/time... it's an adapting/learning curve for all of us in the household.


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## TahneeMaree (Mar 1, 2010)

Jungletrans said:


> Just a word from the Dad side , it can be very frustrating trying to get kids to do anything . My 14 yr old Daughter wanted more money , so l made a deal , Keep the kitchen clean and dishes done [ about 2 hours work per week ] $100 , thats $50 per hour tax free , lasted 3 weeks .


 

Wow i would have done anything for that money! siblings and I never got any money lol, it was "eat it or starve - wear it or go naked - clean it up or I'll throw it out - do it or answer to your father" lol

Now we're scabby as anything, the dollar is very valuable indeed!


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## Asharee133 (Mar 1, 2010)

now im glad im not the first child...mums already gone through this with my other sister! yay, and tara, try to explain to him that your not a child anymore?


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## CodeRed (Mar 1, 2010)

why dont you just clean the bird cage. Dont think of it as doing your Dad's will, but think of it as doing something nice for your pet.


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## Andie (Mar 1, 2010)

For a 30 min clean , I assume you mean a full scrub out? We call that a 'deep clean'

My cleaning schedule:

Deep clean once a week. Toys out. Wash those in sink or outside, wash trays in garden with hose. My cages are on 2nd storey so I have to use a scrubbing brush for the actual cages. If you use the hose it is faster!

Each day, rinse food and water bowls, fresh food and water. New newspaper on the bottom.

Use newspaper on the bottom and roll it up and change it every day. That takes less than 1 min.

I have 5 large parrot cages. And 2 part time jobs, uni and tutoring to do. Trust me, cleaning efficiency is something I know about! But remember, no matter how busy you are, you are responsible for the bird. The bird can't help/doesn't care that you are busy. 

Once a week there is a big clean do to but the day to day work is very small


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## Elapidae1 (Mar 1, 2010)

Seems you have two choices talk to your dad find out if you can reach a compromise and if not just accept it and get on with life. Maybe if you clean it twice a week it will only take 15 minutes each time. Or you could move out take the bird with you find a full time job with a boss that doesn't compromise at all and harps on at you from start to finish even though you are doing a better job than he could possibly do and you will just have to suck it up because you have rent,gas,electric,phone,food,petrol,dental,medical,insurance etc to pay then when your finished with the daily work grind it's of home to start again CLEAN BIRD CAGE which you now do 3 times a week because you realized it smells a bit because you could only afford to move in to a very small flat/apartment etc cook your own dinner ,dishes,general cleaning etc and then your studies. then once again you will be left with two choice. Take it on the chin and except these new responsibility's that are all part of making your own way in the world or ask if you can move back in with your parents and accept that it's there place and you will have to abide by there standards whether you feel they are fair or not. there is always going to be somebody in your life who wants more than you feel is required or necessary and the bird cage will seem quite trivial. I'm not having a go but just remember the grass isn't always greener on the other side.


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## ashisnothereman (Mar 1, 2010)

parents are just crazy sometimes. i just laugh at them seeing they waste so much energy getting angry. im staying at home as long as i can, no life expenses besides a small monthly contribution.

in my opinion though, if you dont have time to clean the birds cage and look after it, why do you have a bird? i dont own a bird so i dont know how much maintenance they need, but if your dads right then yea, why do u have a bird?


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## J-A-X (Mar 1, 2010)

Tired of being harassd by your stupid parents ?
then leave home while you still know EVRYTHING !


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## fritzi2009 (Mar 1, 2010)

I did clean the birdcage, I do it regularly, but if I don't do it everyday it's not good enough for him -.-'
and to everyone who said move out - 
Find me a place that will cost no more than $300 a week (my entire paycheck) INCLUDING rent/food/bills/cost for public transport and general shopping (toiletries, kitchenware etc), be close to reliable public transport and let a 17 year old with 3 pythons, 1 lizard, 1 bird and another snake coming live there?
Because trust me I've tried, and if I had found somewhere I wouldn't still be here would I 

& yeah Ive asked him to treat me like an adult but apparently because I'm not constantly up 24/7 doing housework I'm still a 5 year old 

Oh and I work 25 hours a week, study 3 times a week at tafe (15 hours), study one subject from home and have to allow for home study and revision time. So I don't exactly think of myself as a lazy teenager... consdering I'm doing more out of anyone in my family ever did to get a career. Oh well. I'll live...


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## fritzi2009 (Mar 1, 2010)

ashisnothereman said:


> parents are just crazy sometimes. i just laugh at them seeing they waste so much energy getting angry. im staying at home as long as i can, no life expenses besides a small monthly contribution.
> 
> in my opinion though, if you dont have time to clean the birds cage and look after it, why do you have a bird? i dont own a bird so i dont know how much maintenance they need, but if your dads right then yea, why do u have a bird?


 
I do have time for him but he gets up me if he sees one little speck out of place. He's a neat freak. He thinks because I don't clean it everyday like his bird that the bird will die. I look after my bird and love him more than anything. I clean his cage weekly, and give him fresh food and water daily, but apparently that's not good enough? I think I know how to keep my bird alive..


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## redbellybite (Mar 1, 2010)

they are trying to get you ready to leave the nest ......annoying enough will put the wind up you and sooner or later you will open your wings and FLY AWAY .....then you will get along with them alot better ,cause you will have your life and they will have theirs ...trust me I have 4 that have flown the nest  .........children are a big strain as much as you love them dearly and wouldnt change a thing YOUR ANNOYING!! ........


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## shane14 (Mar 1, 2010)

Haha i hate it when my mum goes off at me because i havent given my beardeds vegies. i regret telling her they eat it cos now she reckons its their main diet. even when they dont touch it haha.


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## fritzi2009 (Mar 1, 2010)

I would kill to move out but there's no way I can afford it unless like 2 or 3 people came with me. But nobody wants to because everyone's scared to leave home. Bleh


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## HOM3L3SS (Mar 1, 2010)

about the bird
you could give your bird to your dad for a week or an amount of time and see how he would look after it


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## wranga (Mar 1, 2010)

fritzi2009 said:


> I did clean the birdcage, I do it regularly, but if I don't do it everyday it's not good enough for him -.-'
> and to everyone who said move out -
> Find me a place that will cost no more than $300 a week (my entire paycheck) INCLUDING rent/food/bills/cost for public transport and general shopping (toiletries, kitchenware etc), be close to reliable public transport and let a 17 year old with 3 pythons, 1 lizard, 1 bird and another snake coming live there?
> Because trust me I've tried, and if I had found somewhere I wouldn't still be here would I
> ...


 
ohh well suck it up princess. looks like you will just have to put up with your dad and do as he wants while you live under his roof


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## jinin (Mar 1, 2010)

Lol i never even got pocket money, I used to save every penny i got, i just blew it all on reptiles, which was my choice, and i realise i will make my money back someday through them. Now i have a job and make money weekly 8], now im helping my family out! By buying my own stuff.

I don't know about everybody else but my dad usually has the best decisions and if im getting yelled at that means im doing something wrong, even if i dont agree at the time i realise afterwards. Maybe this isnt the case, hope you come to an agreement.


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## Daryl_H (Mar 1, 2010)

sound like you need to look after yor bird or give it to someone who will you seem to self centered pooor me i got to do this i got to do that what about the bird?????? if you dont have the time give it to someone who has!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are you takeing it to uni with you or is it going to be your dads issue when you leave HAVE A LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE AND WAKE UP


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## kkjkdt1 (Mar 1, 2010)

i was kicked out of home at 14 and had to do everything on my own. ive never complained just got on with my life.
mabye you should just do the jobs around the house until you can afford to move out. LIFE IS NOT MENT TO BE EASY.


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## CodeRed (Mar 1, 2010)

fritzi2009 said:


> I would kill to move out but there's no way I can afford it unless like 2 or 3 people came with me. But nobody wants to because everyone's scared to leave home. Bleh




If you think cleaning a bird cage is too much work then you're not going to enjoy moving out on your own. Enjoy life while its easy and do as your Dad says, its not as if he's asking for a lot in return.


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## fritzi2009 (Mar 1, 2010)

Daryl_H said:


> sound like you need to look after yor bird or give it to someone who will you seem to self centered pooor me i got to do this i got to do that what about the bird?????? if you dont have the time give it to someone who has!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are you takeing it to uni with you or is it going to be your dads issue when you leave HAVE A LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE AND WAKE UP


 

Um if you read my previous post, the issue is not that I can't look atfer it, it's that my Dad thinks that by not cleaning its cage daily that Im subjecting it to a cruel and disgusting life.
I love my bird, as I mentioned before, and would be absolutly devestated if anything happened to him. I am the only one who pays any attention to him, and he gets out to play and gets more human interaction than my DAD'S BIRD does, so I can't comprehend why he's complaining so much about how badly I'm "mistreating" it...

The point is that my Dad assumes that I'm not capable of keeping a creature alive, though I have fostered birds and had pet birds and many other animals, but his expectations of me are far too high. 
And the bird will move with me wherever I do until our life together must end due to one of us dying, I will NEVER part with him, so maybe don't assume things....

I'm not trying to fight with anyone, I just needed somewhere to get it off my chest. You didn't have to read or reply :shock:


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## Guest (Mar 1, 2010)

fritzy like matt said at the start its just a dad thing!!!


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## fritzi2009 (Mar 1, 2010)

Farma said:


> fritzy like matt said at the start its just a dad thing!!!


 

lol
mmmm if i ever get married and have kids
my childrens father will NOT tell them how crap they are at mothering a bird hahah
or he'll be getting a slap around the ear hole.


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## azn4114 (Mar 1, 2010)

fritzi2009 said:


> lol
> mmmm if i ever get married and have kids
> my childrens father will NOT tell them how crap they are at mothering a bird hahah
> or he'll be getting a slap around the ear hole.


 that made me laugh,not at you but it's like you WILL NOT tolerate your possible future husband saying your kids are bad bird keepers


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## fritzi2009 (Mar 1, 2010)

azn4114 said:


> that made me laugh,not at you but it's like you WILL NOT tolerate your possible future husband saying your kids are bad bird keepers


 
You better believe I won't  haha...


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## Guest (Mar 1, 2010)

yeah that cracked me up too :lol:


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## antaresia_boy (Mar 1, 2010)

> Its a dad thing.



This.
My Dad gets on my nerves, but I've got my mums place to go to if he gets too much.


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## mebebrian (Mar 1, 2010)

My guess is your olds have put a fair amount of time and money into raising you and giving you the abillity to study as much as you do. Seems only reasonable that you show a little respect, flaming your father on a public forum is a little sad. 

Sell the bird if you dont have time for it.

There are people who have no parents and people who have parents who beat them, abuse them and do unspeakable things. Plenty of kids around australia go to school with no lunch, having had no breakfast and get home expecting no dinner. Sorry but posting on a public forum about how terrible your father is because he complains about you not looking after your bird seems rather disrespectful and petty.

After all your pearents have provided for you cleaning your birds cage a little more often seems a small price to pay.


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## fritzi2009 (Mar 1, 2010)

mebebrian said:


> My guess is your olds have put a fair amount of time and money into raising you and giving you the abillity to study as much as you do. Seems only reasonable that you show a little respect, flaming your father on a public forum is a little sad.
> 
> Sell the bird if you dont have time for it.
> 
> ...


 
-.-
That's just one example of the many things.. and I only posted it to get it off my chest, you chose to read it, not my fault. I'm sure you were a teenager too once :|


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## mebebrian (Mar 1, 2010)

I was indeed, my mother nagged, i moved out at 16. It was harder than i thought but i made it for a year then moved back in and did as i was told till i moved out for good at 18.
Thier house, thier rules


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## craig.a.c (Mar 1, 2010)

Mattsnake said:


> Its a dad thing.



Don't you mean "a dad issue" or "nothing could be my father from the truth"


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## craig.a.c (Mar 1, 2010)

fritzi2009 said:


> :evil:I am sick of my Dad's constant nagging about how "terrible I am at looking after my bird."
> He has a big cage right, not sure how big but to clean it it takes me at least 30 mins to make it clean enough. His bird lives in a tiny little canary cage so it takes him about 10 seconds to clean it....
> He constantly goes on and on about how bad the bird has it, because I don't clean his cage everyday, but my Dad doesn't understand or even care about EVERYTHING else I have to do in my days.
> My only day off is Sunday, which is usually spent by my enjoying my one and only sleep in of the week and then doing TAFE work for a good 4-5 hours. Then, forgive me for wanting a social life, I try and see my friends.
> ...





Just be thankful that your parents are raising you.
I was raised by my grandmother and step grandfather, never had a chance to be raised by my parents.
Get over it.


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## naledge (Mar 1, 2010)

craig.a.c said:


> Just be thankful that your parents are raising you.
> I was raised by my grandmother and step grandfather, never had a chance to be raised by my parents.
> Get over it.



Let's not turn this into a 'my life's worse than yours' thread.

Just let her vent.


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## craig.a.c (Mar 1, 2010)

naledge said:


> Let's not turn this into a 'my life's worse than yours' thread.
> 
> Just let her vent.



I wasn't, didn't mean for it to come out that way. Just pointing out that others have it easier/harder.


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## -Matt- (Mar 1, 2010)

Like I said earlier...the majority of dads do it to an extent. It's a way to enforce responsibility and believe it or not a way to show they care. When I was a teenager I bred parrots and fish and was fairly successful doing it, I made enough money to cover all my costs and enough to buy the small things that I wanted aswell, however my old man still whinged everytime a new animal was bought home, if the aviary floors had a bit too much seed on them or if the fish hadn't been fed yet that day... I now live 600km away from my parents and both mum and dad still pass judgement everytime I buy a new snake. You are their child and it is their job to teach you responsibility and this is your (and most peoples) dads way of teaching it to you.
Just remember some kids parents don't allow them to keep animals at all.


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## Elapidae1 (Mar 1, 2010)

jinin said:


> Lol i never even got pocket money, I used to save every penny i got, i just blew it all on reptiles, which was my choice, and i realise i will make my money back someday through them. Now i have a job and make money weekly 8], now im helping my family out! By buying my own stuff.
> 
> I don't know about everybody else but my dad usually has the best decisions and if im getting yelled at that means im doing something wrong, even if i dont agree at the time i realise afterwards. Maybe this isnt the case, hope you come to an agreement.




Are you sure your only 14


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## Renagade (Mar 1, 2010)

Is it just me or has there been a lot of sooks whinging on this site recently? from "i'm a teacher and i'm hard done by," to "i'm a teenager and my parents make rules for me because i live under their roof"

Get a life you bunch of sooks.


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## naledge (Mar 2, 2010)

Renagade said:


> Is it just me or has there been a lot of sooks whinging on this site recently? from "i'm a teacher and i'm hard done by," to "i'm a teenager and my parents make rules for me because i live under their roof"
> 
> Get a life you bunch of sooks.



To "I'm cranky and get upset when people complain on the internet"
:lol:


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## licky (Mar 2, 2010)

my dad wants nothing to do with me because i have snakes, (plus other things, but mostly snakes). We had a punch up bout 2 years ago and still havent spoken much to eachother.
My 2 cents.


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## mebebrian (Mar 2, 2010)

Renagade said:


> Get a life you bunch of sooks.



Couldn't have said it better, 
Toughen up people.


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## atothej09 (Mar 20, 2011)

If you're old man is borrowing money from you to buy smokes, the bloke should wake up to himself. One hand he is trying to teach you responsibility and on the other he is displaying irresponsibility. Not real bright.
Fritzi, I hate to say this mate, but life gets allot tougher than doing a few chores and cleaning bird cages.
Put this into perspective...you could be living in Japan right now.


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## shellfisch (Mar 20, 2011)

12 month old thread....they have probably sorted out their issues by now...


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## medz84 (Mar 20, 2011)

did anyone ask the bird what he/she thinks????


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## Sel (Mar 20, 2011)

Ugggh

Id actually kill to be 19 again and living with my parents, even with their nagging everyday.
You have it soo easy


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## KaotikJezta (Mar 20, 2011)

Hey, I must be a pretty good parent, my 16 year old comes home and whinges about how bad his friends have it with their parents:shock:


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## bigfella77 (Mar 20, 2011)

Good on ya fritzi, you seem to having a go at creating a life for yourself but remember, life is to short to be arguing with family. You never know what life has in store for you and the ones yu love, dads are dads and they are all the same pretty much they just try to prepare you for life. Most people would agree that living at home is as easy as your life will ever be, its only gonna get tougher so appreciate the nagging while you can.


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## saximus (Mar 20, 2011)

shellfisch said:


> 12 month old thread....they have probably sorted out their issues by now...


 ^ This


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## bigfella77 (Mar 20, 2011)

Yeah, just saw it in the side box and seeing everyone is entitled to my opinion, thought id jump in and put one up haha.


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