# Stupid Questions and Replies....



## PieBald (Mar 9, 2013)

So over the past coupl of months I have begun to notice the questions I have been getting.... over christmas with all the cousins and uncles ect over at my place, they asked questions like:
What are you going to do when your snakes get big?
I can never find an answer for this.... I always reply with something like, 1 by 1 Im going to make snake kebabs out of them.. (I never will).
So my point is, what is the most unanswerable question you have been ask and how do you reply. Do you try and explan or just mess with them like me.


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## Red-Ink (Mar 9, 2013)

Answer: spend more money on dead rats and build bigger enclosures...


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## Ambush (Mar 9, 2013)

I mess with them.
" How do you sleep know there are snakes in the house?" um.. with a bed and a pillow

Yeh some of the stuff people say or ask is funny.
Was on a site today and was asked a heap of questions. Didnt mess with the poor gal.. Movies had corrupted her.


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## PieBald (Mar 9, 2013)

Red-Ink said:


> Answer: build bigger enclosures...


That wont stop them.... They will think of things like 'Remember the kid that got bitten on the news' and 'The snake catcher that was attacked' and then say what if it happens to you, its hard to explain these things to non reptile people.


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## PieBald (Mar 9, 2013)

Ambush said:


> I mess with them.
> " How do you sleep know there are snakes in the house?" um.. with a bed and a pillow


HA thats great, I get asked that a lot!


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## montysrainbow (Mar 9, 2013)

lol i love the comments about them hearing about this person who got sized up by his big python :lol: apparently... lol and i often get asked does he bite and i straight out say he might and he can but worst case i will head for the tap or dogs water bucket, i get looks like this little smiley :shock:


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## cwtiger (Mar 9, 2013)

I get how can you have snakes as pets and how can you hold them? How can you sit and watch them eat poor little rats. Or the other one is what about your kids aren't you worried about them.

I answer with how can I not have snakes for pets. Hold them here you try it. Who said I watch them eat I don't watch my other animals eat. As for my kids well the snakes are safe with the kids plus the kids are to big for the snakes to swollow


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## RedFox (Mar 9, 2013)

Q: So what do you feed them?
A: feral children. The neighborhood is really quiet now.

Q: So where are these snakes you have?
A: Probably hiding in one of the cupboards. Or possibly sunning themselves on the window sill. 

Q: Can you cuddle them?
A: Sure. Their hugs are breath taking. 

Q: Are they poisonous?
A: No. I've heard they are quite delicious.


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## Varanoidea (Mar 9, 2013)

"Aren't they slimy?"


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## dragondude (Mar 9, 2013)

Nah, I prefer the look on their face when I tell them I breed my own roaches : )
That raises more questions than it answers.


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## Bananapeel (Mar 9, 2013)

I get asked whether they bite.
I say yes and they freak like :shock: THEY BITE? ARENT YOU SCARED!!??? 
No. My dog bites me more than snakes. lol

Or the same old: What will you do when he's bigger? umm change enclosures and feed size.  
Are they poisonous? No. Snakes aren't poisonous.
But what about brown snakes? Nope not poisonous either.
But, but they've killed people!? Yeah.
So they're poisonous!!! Nope not poisonous. Then I leave, leaving them extremely confused. 

Or Wouldn't it eat your dog? No my dog weighs some 25+ kilos. My snakes mouth is smaller than one of her toes.

And of course the whole. You have a snake!!?? What the hell? Haven't you heard the stories of them lying next to you in bed sizing you up?? Yes I've heard the stories aka rubbish
And then they complain about animal cruelty when they see my juvenile in a click clack with paper towel and terracotta pot hides.  typical. 
Got told this from a vaguely distant mate: Hey you keep snakes? I saw a death adder in my garden yesterday. (lives in Vic) 
Reply: umm no you didn't. 
How do you know?
Reply: I stalk you :lol:


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## PieBald (Mar 10, 2013)

Ha it's good too know that I'm not the only person who takes note of these questions. It's like everyone talks to each other to make they ask the same question....


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## Tempest404 (Mar 10, 2013)

I'm just getting really sick of the people who say 'the only good snake is a dead snake', for some reason i feel compulsed to slap them


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## Darwin-boy (Mar 10, 2013)

tell them your going surfing! thats what you do with them dont ya! lol i get that a lot as well


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## Darwin-boy (Mar 10, 2013)

Tempest404 said:


> I'm just getting really sick of the people who say 'the only good snake is a dead snake', for some reason i feel compulsed to slap them



reply the only good annoying person is a dead one......


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## Umbral (Mar 10, 2013)

What are you going to feed them when they get bigger?: Well I have some catnip in the garden and you see that smaller freezer next to my fridge.... Well it's already full.


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## HerpAddict (Mar 10, 2013)

In the last couple of weeks I've had the sorry about a ladies snake sizing her up in bed and having to get rid of it. This person then argued with me about it being a real issue with snakes.... And also had someone telling me all about the pythons that bred with venomous snakes and bite people. What a dangerous hobby lol


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## sharky (Mar 10, 2013)

The most commmon ones would be:
You have snakes? :shock:
Yes.
How big are they?
About a meter
Thant's huge!
They're stilll babies
:shock: How much bigger will the get
Another 1-2 meters
Won't they eat you?
No, but they might like how you taste


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## RedFox (Mar 10, 2013)

The old "your python sizes you up when you sleep" one. I keep my woma in a locked enclosure in my room. It is really is amazing I am still alive. 

I also love when you have people over who don't realise you pythons. I keep my woma hatchy in his click clack in the living room.

Friend: AAAHHH! WHAT IS THAT?
me: a baby snake.
Friend: A TIGER?
Me: No. I'm pretty sure it is a snake.
Friend: -_-

I do find it highly amusing, how anyone can be afraid of a 30cm stripey worm.


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## RedFox (Mar 10, 2013)

.


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## Melzey (Mar 10, 2013)

Loving your posts, good laugh. 

A picture of my little guy on my fb prompted some responses that made me scratch my head. I tell then to come visit now and I'll sneak up on them with my hatchie (tiny of course).. Haha, good way to keep people away really...


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## montysrainbow (Mar 10, 2013)

Melzey said:


> Loving your posts, good laugh.
> 
> A picture of my little guy on my fb prompted some responses that made me scratch my head. I tell then to come visit now and I'll sneak up on them with my hatchie (tiny of course).. Haha, good way to keep people away really...



Haha Melzey, my mother inlaw hasnt stayed with us since i got Gorgoo Mwuhahahahah!! lol my plan worked :twisted:


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## BIGBANG (Mar 10, 2013)

i dont get too many odd questions as most of my mates know i have been into snakes since i was a kid but i have recently " come out of the closet" as a reptile lover in the tiny little country town i have not long moved into and that is a different story, it is like the entire town has been raised with the only good snake is a dead snake attitude, i have been called every name under the sun and i'll tell ya none of them good. i even had an 80 year old bloke go into my car when i was out on site and remove a juvinile Eastern Brown that i had removed from the work shop that morning just so he could get it out and kill it........but we wont go there as i was banned for a week after my post about that


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## PieBald (Mar 10, 2013)

Yea I hate the saying a dead snakes a good snake!


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## sharky (Mar 10, 2013)

I think everyone does


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## sharky (Mar 10, 2013)

....well everyone here anyway :lol:


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## Trimeresurus (Mar 10, 2013)

I like the "do you feed them rats?"
"These ones eat rabbits"
*says something about how cute rabbits are blahblah*


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## Ambush (Mar 10, 2013)

Do you take your snakes for a walk? " No they have no legs"


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## montysrainbow (Mar 10, 2013)

my latest is what about the new baby!? he might eat it lol i explain that my coastals well fed and too small to eat a 4.5kg newborn!


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## Melzey (Mar 10, 2013)

montysrainbow said:


> Haha Melzey, my mother inlaw hasnt stayed with us since i got Gorgoo Mwuhahahahah!! lol my plan worked :twisted:



Mine told us she wouldn't, but she is going to  she is lovely tho so that's ok.  

4.5 kilo newborn, geez girl!  (mine were both around 3kilo )


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## Bluetongue1 (Mar 10, 2013)

I am not so sure about the questions. However, the appropriate response to many such enquiries would be… My python loves to eat annoying people. Would you like me to show it to you?

For those that take you to task about keeping hatchlings in click clacks, the appropriate question is “Where do hatchlings snakes spend the majority of their time in the wild and why?” The realistic answer is trying to find a meal without ending upon the menu of a larger organism. This requires a significant degree of just plain hiding in between foraging. More than 90% of most snake species do not make it to breeding age. 

Blue


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## Snakewoman (Mar 11, 2013)

Tempest404 said:


> I'm just getting really sick of the people who say 'the only good snake is a dead snake', for some reason i feel compulsed to slap them



People don't think before they say stupid things like that. My reply to this is always: "Yeah, well I wish all your pets were dead too." The shocked look on their faces is priceless, but if they complain I remind them that this is exactly what they just said to me. They usually get a confused look on their face while they figure that one out


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## AntaresiaFreak13 (Mar 14, 2013)

when people ask me what snakes I have, I just say a 32ft reticulated python with a really serious face their expression are priceless especially when I add also a 2ft spotted python :lol:


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## Spiral-Python (Mar 14, 2013)

My fave recent questions; new cleaner, today, after being told that there are two snakes in vivaria in the lounge room....
"will they bite me?"
'only if you attempt to vacuum in their enclosures' 
"have they ever eaten your kids?"
'not the 3 who are still alive.'
whilst pointing out the pythons in their cubic metre sized enclosures, "are they anacondas?"
'not yet, but maybe when they grow up.'
after explaining one is a spotted juvenile, the other a Darwin... "Did you find them in the garden?" (Coastal Victoria, sure!) but best of all, " when they get bigger will you let them go?"
and after all that and a 2 hour tag team cleaning blitz, she told me she was very worried that I might not have heard about the woman whose snake sized her up and ate her while she was asleep.
'Its an urban myth,'
"No it isn't, it really happened, I read it on the Internet!"


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## Jacknife (Mar 14, 2013)

Not reptile related, but the the most common one I get from my work is...

_Customer standing at bar in front of beer taps; _​"What beers you got on tap here mate?"

I generally reply with, " Sorry, sir/ma'am we don't have any taps here, only bottled beers."

Then when they point out a particular beer on tap and inquire about it I just walk off.
Sorry, but intelligence is a factor when it comes to being served a drink by me in my establishments.


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## Darlyn (Mar 14, 2013)

The old "what do you feed them?" is the most common question I get asked. God knows why?
I just say "hamburgers" now and people look disappointed.


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## Phantom_Fangs (Mar 15, 2013)

Legitimate questions I answer, like what does it eat? These people are curious and I like to share the knowledge. I breed bird eating spiders, most people hate them more than snakes.


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## ronhalling (Mar 15, 2013)

My most astonishing question was from a 7 year old girl who was the daughter of 1 of our friends, she stood in front of our enclosure looking at our big girl and asked "Do snakes fart" i stood there a minute picking my jaw up off the floor and said "probably but they must do silent ones" str8 back at me she said "my dad does silent ones and they stink, if you fed your snake with baked beans would it fart loudly enough to hear it then" i said that snakes could not eat baked beans coz they were bad for them, she replied "Mum said baked beans must be bad for dad too" i had to end the conversation right there coz i did not want to find out where this was heading, the stupidest thing a guest in my home ever said was "If you get bitten by 1 of your snakes do you have to go and get a tetanus shot every time and do the bites come back every year like a blue tongue bite"....how are you supposed to answer a question like that, i just said i got an anti python bite inoculation every year and just stood there looking at him and shaking my head when he said oh cool that's a good idea......hmmmm they share our air................Hey Phantom_Fangs, there is nothing wrong with breeding "Phlogius crassipes" i did it myself for many years till i got an allergic reaction to their venom after about the 5th bite from them, had to get rid of them after that coz the doc said i might not survive the next 1, if they freak out about your pets bugger them.......................Ron


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## MrFireStorm (Mar 15, 2013)

As I keep tigers and copperheads...the most common questions I get asked is:

Q1. Do you milk your snakes?

A1. *Nope, to hard to find their teats*; or
A2. *No, I'm still trying to find a stool small enough to fit under them

*Q2. If a snake bites another the same, will the venom kill it?

A. *Ummm NO, otherwise it would kill itself if it bit its own tongue or lip*.

Daz


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## Tinky (Mar 15, 2013)

I get most frustrated by the person who wants to tell you about thir mate with a corn/boa/ball or 5m Diamond.

On the only good snake is a dead snake, I usaly reply that I had to take a shovel to a kitten in the back yard last week. Those little buggers not only bite you, they also have claws and kill lots of native fauna.


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## disintegratus (Mar 15, 2013)

PieBald said:


> Yea I hate the saying a dead snakes a good snake!



I usually just smile sweetly and tell them I feel the same way about children. Didn't work on my boss though, she dislikes children as much as I do  
She doesn't hate snakes though, but is scared of them so doesn't understand why you'd want them as pets. I wish I was allowed to bring in my baby Stimmie Lou Lasagne, to show them that snakes aren't awful...


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## RSPcrazy (Mar 15, 2013)

Tempest404 said:


> I'm just getting really sick of the people who say 'the only good snake is a dead snake', for some reason i feel compulsed to slap them



I always reply to this one with,

"You know, I feel exactly the same way about koala's".

(I don't really, it's just for the shock factor).

Some people just look at me with a disgusted look on their face and leave (like Rosso from the radio, fine with me, he's a bit of an prik in person anyway), but others reply with, "you know what? I never thought about it that way".

Some people have even started to ask questions about snakes after saying this.

Also, has anyone herd this one, 

"Did you know snakes don't have a shadow over water?"

I simply laughed and walked away. Some stupidity isn't worth replying too.


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## nintendont (Mar 15, 2013)

Spiral-Python said:


> My fave recent questions; new cleaner, today, after being told that there are two snakes in vivaria in the lounge room....
> "will they bite me?"
> 'only if you attempt to vacuum in their enclosures'
> "have they ever eaten your kids?"
> ...


im just picturing Consuela the mexican maid from family guy asking those questions lol
"no...no...no...nooooo....we need more lemon pledge"


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## Jacknife (Mar 15, 2013)

no... you buy


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## Ramsayi (Mar 15, 2013)

ronhalling said:


> My most astonishing question was from a 7 year old girl who was the daughter of 1 of our friends, she stood in front of our enclosure looking at our big girl and asked "Do snakes fart" i stood there a minute picking my jaw up off the floor and said "probably but they must do silent ones" ............................



For future reference they can and do fart,audible ones too!


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## treeofgreen (Mar 15, 2013)

RSPcrazy said:


> Also, has anyone herd this one,
> 
> "Did you know snakes don't have a shadow over water?"
> 
> I simply laughed and walked away. Some stupidity isn't worth replying too.



Hahahaha omg... some old fella down the local hardware told me this...

How would you even respond? I think i managed to spout "what the ........" before i walked off.

What i should have said: Yeah thats right, snakes are related to vampires, you also cant see their reflection in a mirror!


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## greendoubt (Mar 21, 2013)

my snake has only been officially mine for a couple of weeks now, but i've been getting it out and taking it on walks for a good 6 months. i've had one extremely negative encounter where an old c-bomb tried to hurt to the python, and he got a punch in the mouth for his effort. 

plenty of stupid questions and even dumber hypothetical scenarios have been posed to me. 

the most ridiculous was, "what if it decides to eat you instead of the food you give it, because it's really, really, really hungry? it could take your hand then swallow you arm first."

i was unable to sway this person's idiotic theory, because they had seen a goat swallowed by an anaconda on youtube.

on the flip side to all this, monty can be an absolute chick magnet, so it's not all bad!


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## Umbral (Mar 21, 2013)

I heard someone at SOFAR asking the lady at the snake ranch table if their children's were feeding on lizards because his two year olds were eating them and then sounded surprised that they were on rats :/


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## harlemrain (Mar 21, 2013)

The one I get ALL the time is, oh I thought the tank would be bigger, oh that's right snakes only grow as big as the tanks they're in hey? :facepalm:

And also mentioned above, I get how do you sleep knowing they're in the house alot too haha


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## Grogshla (Mar 21, 2013)

I get this from my aunties:
Aren't you scared that it will smash its enclosure and escape? Keep in mind that it is a stimsons python in a glass exo terra enclosure lol


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## lmnw57 (Mar 21, 2013)

You have to mess with them for a little while it is sooo much fun, then try and answer as best you can. Until they understand your love of them they will continue to ask uniformed questions.


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