# Great customer quotes.



## abbott75 (Feb 15, 2009)

A chapter of my life has closed, I am no longer a Manager of a Fast Food Restaurant. (Who knew you could be paid to habf around fishtanks and reptile gear all day! :lol

So, in honour of this momentous occasion, I think we can all post our best customer quotes.

Heres one I had just a few days ago.

Customer: "Every time I come here, my order is messed up. I will be speaking to your area manager, I know *him*."

I _really _wanted to say "Ok, I'll let *her* know to expect you"


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## mrmikk (Feb 15, 2009)

You should have!


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## seumas12345 (Feb 15, 2009)

LOL i know that if I was quitting I wouldve said something like that to them!


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## reptilegirl_jordan (Feb 15, 2009)

ok my fav one would have been this on i got at work the otherday.
customer: ''hey im looking for a jacket for under $30?''
jordan: ''im sorry sir we dont have any jackets for under $50 in our shop''
customer: ''well what type of crap is this''
jordan : ''go to lowes sir and get out of this shop now''


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## Kersten (Feb 15, 2009)

My first job out of high school was at a local chicken place sort of like Red Rooster. This obnoxious woman came in one day, I did the usual may I take your order spiel and she looked at me and said, "I want some food". I asked her what sort of food she'd like and she said "Chicken". When I asked her if she wanted roasted chicken pieces, fried pieces, nuggets or a burger she asked to see the manager and then went munyuk, screaming that I was obviously stupid and shouldn't be working there if I couldn't take a simple order. 

Seemed kinda surprised when she was asked politely to leave :lol:


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## Chris89 (Feb 15, 2009)

I use to work at Eagle Boys Pizza when I was 15 - 17 and I use to get some hilarious people ring up and take orders, it use to be really difficult at times.

An Example:

Me: Hi, Thank you for choose Eagle Boys, etc
Customer: I'd like to order a pizza please
Me: What would you like to order?
Customer: Ugh, a pizza?
Me: Yes, what type would you like - would you like me to read the menu for you?
Customer: No! It's uhh.... Got meat and sauce on it!
Me: Is it by any chance the meat lovers?
Customer: No! Don't assume things! It has bbq sauce and meat
Me: The pizza you are describing is the meat lovers, as no other pizzas have bbq sauce and just meat on them
Customer: No that's not it you punk, put me through to the manager!
Me: You're speaking to the manager of this store at the moment
Customer: Oh............. Then yes, I'll have the meat lovers please


Some people use to drive my crazy at that store!

Then another time I was serving someone on front counter, It was a public holiday so there was a 10% surcharge on the orders - there was signs at the front of the door and we explained to all the customers about the surcharge and everyone didn't mind at all. 

However. . . When the store was packed, there was about 30 customers waiting / standing at the front of the store. There was this one customer who went absolutely crazy at me because his order was going to cost an extra $0.40. He was screaming and abusing the hell out of me and the other customers were like "It's an extra 40 cents, it's a public holiday. . " After about 15 minutes of him abusing me and calling me everything under the sun. I calming said "As it's a public holiday there is a 10% surcharge on all orders, non of the other customers are complaining and they understand and don't mind. He continued to abuse me and called me everything that you could imagine. 

So I was getting pretty annoyed at this, as I had been polite and tried to resolve the issue, but after 20 minutes of this I just stopped what I was saying and said. "Listen, I don't get paid enough to deal with (censored) heads like you, if you're not happy with the surcharge then go somewhere else and you'll still get the surcharge" - it was my second last day at there before I left, so I really didn't care lol.


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## palmej (Feb 15, 2009)

at the cafe i work at currently...

customer- can i have a glass for some water
me- sure ( i look for the glass)
me- sorry we dont actually have any glasses that are washed at the moment do you want to just have one of the takeaway cups
customer- okay

15-20 mins later when customer is about to leave she comes up to the register

customer- EXCUSE ME (goes infront of the other women i was serving) i would just like to know why i got this takeaway cup instead of a glass.
me- like i said before we had run out of glasses that were washed and so i gave you that one
customer- well there washed
me- yes thats because they got washed after you came up here and got the takeaway cup
customer- i still dont understand why i didnt get a cup

my boss- miss im sorry but she did explain to you that we had run out of glasses and did tell you this before giving you the cup which you accepted. If you insist of keeping making a scene about this i will have to ask you to leave.


haha i wanted to throw a knife at her


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## seumas12345 (Feb 15, 2009)

HAHA I had a similar sort of situation. I was 14 and was working at Dominos Pizza...
Me: Hey how can I help you?
Cust: How much would it cost for a pizza with every topping on it?
*I spent about 10 minutes on the computer adding every single topping to the pizza*
Me: Ok, that would cost $34.50 (some rediculous price like that)
Cust: Ahh ok. Nah I'll just grab a hawaiin...


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## Chris89 (Feb 15, 2009)

I use to hate working at pizza place, the amount of drunk / stoned people that would call up to order and have no idea what they wanted or couldn't talk properly - then they'd abuse you because you didn't have their order on the screen for them lol.


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## seumas12345 (Feb 15, 2009)

Haha I rekon! Although one time a drunk guy came in and my brother served him.... He only ordered one pizza, threw my brother a $50 and said he could have the rest! lol not bad when my brother was only 15 haha


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## Barno111 (Feb 15, 2009)

LOL ok heres mine! now im a marine mechanic so i will try to explain at the end!

Bloke pulls up, i walk out and ask whats wrong with his engine and he says "its in the have the power valve pulled off and have a look at!" I look at him with know idea with what he said so i just took the motor and said no drams! walk inside ask the boss, He has know idea. so we end up looking at the diary to see what it is booked in for! No idea so we ring him up and he says the same thing! Anyway turns out he wanted the power head taken off! which is the actual engine block in marine engines! Anyway we describe it to him and tell him its a powerhead and he was all good! anyway came back in two days later and goes to me "Hows my power valve going and is that what it looks like inside?" i just shook my head and went and got the boss!


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## Chris89 (Feb 15, 2009)

What also annoys me is when people use to come in and try and pay for a $20 - $50 in 5 and 10 cent pieces - We just use to refuse them and tell them to go and get it changed over.


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## Cabotinage (Feb 15, 2009)

well today a customer complained about redcued priced milk! he got the boss out and everything! im not even kidding.

im trying to think of some things people have said to me, 

some guy i go i need to order change i wont be a second so i give my manger the money she goes off and gets the money and he is like why the **** do i have to wait for 5 minutes just to buy a loaf of bread (he gave me a $50 bill and the lady before him got cash out which too everything i told him there could be a wait if he was paying coin and it was fine at the time it then became him telling me was a ****ing **** employee etc....


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## AUSGECKO (Feb 15, 2009)

I work in a pet shop and love it when someone comes in and says all my fish are dying,
Me: Bring some water down and i will test it for you to make sure there is nothing wrong with it.
Customer: There is nothing wrong with my water.
Me: How do you know? Do you test it?
Customer: I don`t test it but i know its fine because its clear.
I try explaining for several minutes but some people just dont get it! :lol:

Other times i go through the same speil and when they say they do test their water for everything themselves and say everything is perfect. When i ask what the results are they say they are fine, they match up to the colours on the cards.
I eventually convince them to bring down some water and when i test it, It matches up to the colours on the cards but wrong end! Some people really don`t get it!:lol:

There are some people out there you just cant help!


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## AUSGECKO (Feb 15, 2009)

Chris89 said:


> What also annoys me is when people use to come in and try and pay for a $20 - $50 in 5 and 10 cent pieces - We just use to refuse them and tell them to go and get it changed over.


 Did you know Australia is the only country where there is a rule that if a retail outlet doesn`t want to except $5.00 or more in silver coins you have the right to refuse! In all other countries you have to accept it if it is legal tender.


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## miley_take (Feb 15, 2009)

I used to work at Bunnings, man was that bad!

I'd answer the phone and have telemarketers reply

One guy and his father came in and stated I was anaemic! Spent 5 minutes listing the signs and symptoms and telling me I needed to see a doctor! :shock:

Also had one guy come in and had his tackle hanging out *shudders*

When I worked nights we used to be escorted to our cars as before he was mentioned to the police, this guy would sit in his car from about 8pm onwards...also used to come in and pick out the checkouts that where being used by females...scary stuff


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## notechistiger (Feb 15, 2009)

A couple of years ago at McDonald's:

Me: Hi, what would you like?
Cust: I'd like my order remade. It's hard and cold.
Me: Oh okay, no problem. When did you get the order?
Cust: Yesterday.

:lol: We had to get the manager there to explain to him that he couldn't get the order remade from yesterday :shock: I don't think he got it...


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## Jewly (Feb 15, 2009)

It also works the other way. I've had to deal with some totally incompetent workers. In all the years I've gone to KFC I don't think I've ever had an order given to me correct yet.

Also, on boxing day I was at Target and there was only 1 woman in front of me waiting to be served. They only had 2 young kids serving and one had absolutely no idea what he was doing and he took something like 20 minutes to serve one customer and she only had 1 item. We were all getting really peeved off as the other person kept rushing off to serve other people who hadn't been lining up. Then when I finally got served, I asked her for a plastic bag as I had about 6 different sized boxes to carry and she refused to give me one. I told her that I needed one because I couldn't carry them all myself and she again refused saying it was their policy to not give plastic bags at the electricial section.

By the time I got to the front of the store my back was killing me (cause I'd been in a car accident a while back and was still recovering from it) and I walked up to a manager and asked him why I wasn't able to get a plastic bag considering that every time you go to the store they never have any trolley's and he again told me it was policy and he was quite rude about it. By this time I was livid and I told him in no uncertain terms what he could do with his policy!! So then, I had to show the woman at the front door all my purchases and the docket and then she had to go and get me a plastic bag. If they do it for security reasons, then it was pointless because while she was getting me a bag, dozens of people walked out without having their bags checked....idiots!!!


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## Talwin (Feb 15, 2009)

I can't believe the amount of people that have worked in a pizza place and had a bad experience..... I'm a shift manager for Fri and Sat nights in one and we would be lucky to get one bad customer in a month!!!!
And thats doing over 100 orders a night.

Would hate to be working in some of the area's you guys are [even though the area our shop is in, is a low income area....]


The worst we get is the usual,
"[shop name] Pizza, what would you like to order?"
"....Pizza"
".......What type of pizza would you like to order"

or

"I'll have a carbonara"
"What kind of pasta would you like with that?"
"I want a carbonara!!!"
"Yes sir/mam, but would you like spag, penne, tort, with that or just the sauce?"


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## Reptile_Boy (Feb 15, 2009)

Guy:I came in and baught a Water heater and it isnt working the light didnt turn on or nothing

Me: did you read the instuctions

Guy:yes

Me:Whats the temps at?

Guy:I dont know it is spose to turn on

Me:it has been hot so it dosnt need to turn on

Guy:the water was cold 

Me: (take to a tank) the tempreture is set to 22 degrees the tank water temps is 24 so it isnt on now when i turn the gage up it works 

Guy:awk sorry for wasting your time see you another time.


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## Chris89 (Feb 15, 2009)

I (use) to work at Eagle Boys and we'd have about 300+ customers a night on a (slow night) on a Friday, Saturday and Tuesday night we'd be pushing over 500 - 800 customers. So it was hectic.


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## LauraM (Feb 15, 2009)

Chris89 said:


> Customer: Oh............. Then yes, I'll have the meat lovers please
> 
> .


 
Hahahahahha


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## seumas12345 (Feb 15, 2009)

My classic customer quote... I got paid $2 to do this haha
Walk up to the counter at McDonald's
Me: Hey, how much is a 50cent cone?


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## Talwin (Feb 15, 2009)

Chris89 said:


> I (use) to work at Eagle Boys and we'd have about 300+ customers a night on a (slow night) on a Friday, Saturday and Tuesday night we'd be pushing over 500 - 800 customers. So it was hectic.



I'd love to own that store then, cause they would be pulling over 50g a week! Cause that means Fri/Sat/Tues they are pulling in around 15-25g (a night).
[9gish on a slow night]


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## Chris89 (Feb 15, 2009)

Talwin said:


> Cause that means Fri/Sat/Tues they are pulling in around 15-25g (a night).



Yep, around that amount. . - however I'm not disclosing the exact amount.


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## Talwin (Feb 15, 2009)

seumas12345 said:


> My classic customer quote... I got paid $2 to do this haha
> Walk up to the counter at McDonald's
> Me: Hey, how much is a 50cent cone?



LOL!!!! I did that once... but it was just when they made them 50c and i asked how much a 40c cone was.... and they was like... ummm its 50c now sir... and i was like.... your kiding! im not paying that and i walked out.

I think they are like 55 or 60c now too!!!!!


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## Rep-Style (Feb 15, 2009)

when i was working in an aquarium

Cus: All my seahorses are dead
"have you tested the water?"
cus: of course i have
"if you want you can bring in a sample of water and we can test it for you"
Cus: no every time you do that you say theres something wrong with it and i know there isnt.
"if your water was 100% then there wouldnt be a problem"
Cus: what your saying cos all my seahorses died in my tank its my fault? i want a refund
"you bought the seahorses a month ago, marine fish only come with a 24 hour health garantee"
Cus: what so ur not giving my money back because the fish in my tank keep dieing?

this went on for 20minutes untill she stormed off


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## Talwin (Feb 15, 2009)

BTW Chris89 wasn't trying to call a bluff or nothing, just trying to let people know how much business that shop would be getting! cause that's one hell of a good business!!!!!

Friends of ours run a highly popular restaurant in Lygon Street and i know they pull in similar numbers every day (with higher Fri/Sat/Sun).

Nice businesses to own IMHO (back to topic).


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## AUSGECKO (Feb 15, 2009)

Reptile_Boy said:


> Guy:I came in and baught a Water heater and it isnt working the light didnt turn on or nothing
> 
> Me: did you read the instuctions
> 
> ...


 I`ve had one that was worse,
A lady came in and said the heater wasn`t warming the water. After going through everything with her and still not finding the problem after about an hour, I handed her the heater and told her to set it up on one of our tanks in the shop the same as how she set it up on her tank at home just to see if she done something wrong.
She placed the heater beside the tank and turned around and stared blankly at me for a minute until i said well?....... She then said what? im done.
I couldnt help it...... I pissed myself luaghing in her face and said it has to go inside the tank in the water!:lol::lol::lol::lol: She got upset, grabbed the heater and stormed out of the shop. Never seen her again.


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## Vassallo2008 (Feb 15, 2009)

aHAHA 

Me and friends used to go into mcdonalds all the time and say

Us: Hi Can we get some Hotcakes(note the time is like 3pm  ) 
Maccas dude: Its not the breakfast menu
Us: Oh sorry Well Could i get a Brekky deluxe meal?
Maccas dude: Please leave
Us: What about a hash Brown  

If u have fallen victim to one of our Stupid moments Im Sorry. But at the time it was funny


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## AUSGECKO (Feb 15, 2009)

Rep-Style said:


> when i was working in an aquarium
> 
> Cus: All my seahorses are dead
> "have you tested the water?"
> ...


 Yeah i get them ones too! Gotta love it!:lol:


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## xScarlettex (Feb 15, 2009)

i worked at foodland and had a customer that was a regular shoplifter.. a regular drunk shoplifter.. he came into the store oneday while i was on checkout putting through an eftpos transaction for another customer.The second he heard me say 'was that on savings or credit' he went into a psychotic fit and accused me of telling him the day before that if i had anything to do with it he'd never use an eftpos machine again lol he called me a stuck up **** and said that im a bitch who gives him filthy looks lol.. the next day he wandered back into the store and my boss picked a fight with him and they had a donny in the street hehe needless to say he didnt come back again


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## Kirby (Feb 15, 2009)

i have worked in a video store. 



ADULTS ONLY WARNING?

--------------------------
its disturbing the amount of men, who have children IN the store. who hire porn. they specifically ask to put the naked ladies in between bambi and the power rangers so the kids wont see there t!ts. 

o.0 


are you kidding me?

i would always laugh inside when we couldnt find the disks, and i would have to ask (louder then usual when busy) does anyone know were 'Pamela goes to sexy town' is? etc. 

rofl rofl rofl. 

it gets worse when they returned them, and gave a disgusting little grin, blatantly showing they enjoyed themselves, or even pass comment 'that was a good one' 

BARF.


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## xScarlettex (Feb 15, 2009)

i also got the wind knocked out of me by my fave lil old lady customer
Me- Hi mrs mckenzie, how are you today love?
her - (bright and cheery as always) ah yeh good thanks loren dear.. ive just been to the doctor, theyve diagnosed me with bladder cancer, i have 3 weeks to live..
Me- ***!!!!


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## FROGGIESrCUTEo_O (Feb 15, 2009)

Kirby said:


> i have worked in a video store.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



:shock:errr


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## abbott75 (Feb 15, 2009)

Chris89 said:


> Me: You're speaking to the manager of this store at the moment.



That used to happen all the time!

Usually I'd calmly say "I am the manager" or "You are speaking to the manager", but I'd always be thinking "I don't wear this badge for nothing..."


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## Chrisreptile (Feb 15, 2009)

I love it when "super knowledgeable" guys come into the shop pointing at the baby beardies saying look at that frill neck trying to impress their partners lol. Or when i have an olive python out, gee this diamond pythons nice lol. Or im getting a North Queensland diamond headed python hatchy this week, what enclosure do i need? lol


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## Talwin (Feb 15, 2009)

Chrisreptile said:


> Or im getting a North Queensland diamond headed python hatchy this week, what enclosure do i need? lol



............ :| [Dies inside]


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## Hooglabah (Feb 15, 2009)

i worked security for 2 years and the worst guy i ever had to deal with was at a shopping center i was on car park duty and it was holidays so everything was regulated and controled to go a certin way to aviod traffic jams. and the car parks had all the entrences and exits blocked exept for 2 one for entry one for exit.

anyway this french guy and his young daughter walked past me on the pedestrian crossing nodded to me said hi and then went to the car pulled out of the spot then tryed to go through a blocked entrance he then calls me over and immeaditly starts yelling and screaming trying to tell me hes been driveing around for an hour or so trying to find the way out i calmly explain to him i just saw him get into his car not 2 minuets ago and then gave him directions to the exit. he told me its blocked off (the exit was one across from the way he was trying to get out and there were cars streaming out of it. i pointed this out. and he just started yelling at me in french. in the end we called the police and had him dragged off with his daught who was yelling at him and apologiseing to me telling me "my daddy is always a very rude man"

id rather deal with a drunkard any day thank you very much.


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## BlindSnake (Feb 15, 2009)

OK, Lets flip the script.

I went into a Cafe with my partner and her Dad not long ago.
We orderd 3 coffees and two toasted Ham, Cheese and tomato sangas.
This was at about 4:30pm, about half hour before nock off time and the only woman working was cleaning the benches and counter tops when we made the order.
We were waiting outside enjoying the veiw when our food arrived. 
When I took a bite from the toastie, the smell and taste of soap filled my mouth.
Chris took a bite from hers and the same thing happened.
I took them to the counter and told her that the toasties taste like soap.
"No they don't" she said
I said " well yes they do, you must have not wiped down the bench properly and soap has saoked into the bread.
"No it hasn't " she said." well what do you want me to do about it?"
"Spose you want another one now?"
"No thats ok, I'll take a refund thanks," I said. Thinking to myself I dont feel like eating your spit today.
I got a look of your joking right.
Then she said "I'll give you half refund seeing you have taken a bite out of it." 
That was it, I wasn't being nice anymore and told her that she obviously stuffed up and she better give me a full refund.

We have never gone back since. pitty bacause its got a great view of the ocean.


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## =bECS= (Feb 15, 2009)

Chris89 said:


> I use to hate working at pizza place, the amount of drunk / stoned people that would call up to order and have no idea what they wanted or couldn't talk properly - then they'd abuse you because you didn't have their order on the screen for them lol.



Hahaha try working at a pizza place that stays open till 2am on weekends, that's next to a popular leagues club and walking distance from another pub!! :lol:


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## Bearded_Lady (Feb 16, 2009)

Kirby said:


> i have worked in a video store.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Amen Kirby! Had the exact same thing happen to me and its funny to watch em squirm when u cant find the disks for them. Gotta love the piles of weekly porn movies some of the oldies return. I wash my hands afterwards lol


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## Bob2 (Feb 16, 2009)

seumas12345 said:


> My classic customer quote... I got paid $2 to do this haha
> Walk up to the counter at McDonald's
> Me: Hey, how much is a 50cent cone?


Lol

Not a customer, but someone at work calls up on the radio. "What time's the 11 o'clock blast?."
We had another bright fella who was told we had a storm watch on. He asked if it was just thunder or if there was lightening with it. Huh?


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## blackthorn (Feb 16, 2009)

We have a few bright customers come into work.. if I could only remember all the stupid things people have said.

One senario we get:
"usual answering phone speel"
Customer: can I get a large pizza, half meat lovers, half supreme
"was that for pick up or delivery?"
Customer: I'll pick it up
"sure, no worries, was that everything tonight?"
Customer: and a garlic bread thanks.
"alright, can I get a name for the order?"
Customer: Paul
"and a contact number"
Customer: phone number
"I'll just find out how long on that one for you"
....
"that should be ready in about 20mins"
Customer: Thanks, bye.

......

an hour later they we get a phone call
Customer: Hi, my name's Paul, I ordered a pizza about an hour ago and it's not here... I was told it would be 20mins.
"um.... are you sure that was a delivery?"
Customer: yes.
"well, we've got that here as a take away"
Customer: it was definitely delivery
"did you give us an address?"
Customer: no, we should be in your system
"we don't have a computer system, it's all hand written, so if you didn't give us an address, then we can't deliver it. The staff member who took your order would've asked you if it was a pick up"
... then there's either a heated argument or they back down and realise they're stupid.

another one we get sometimes is:
Customer: Can I get a take away, pick up pizza to be delivered thanks. 
"umm...??"

and:
Customer walks in to pick up there order, and a staff member rings it into the till...
"That comes to $36 all together"
Customer: Oh and I have one of these (hands over a dine-in only voucher over)
"sorry, that vouchers for dine-in only"
Customer: (staring at their voucher and flipping it over to read it) it doesn't say that...
"it doesn't actually say it on the voucher, but it does say _subject to rules and conditions, _so if you have a look at the rules in the front of the voucher book, it explains it there"
Customer: I have read the rules and it says it's for take aways
"actually, our restaurant is in the _casual dining_ section of the book, and that whole section is excluded from take away and delivery"
Customer: (still don't believe you and start to kick up a stink) I'm sure it's for take away, it doesn't say that it's not for dine in (go to grab out their own books to prove you wrong.)
... this is when I grab out our laminated page of rules and conditions with underlined and high lighted sections proving them wrong saying "it's on page 3, section 12 of your book, right here. You can't use this voucher for take away" 
Usually by then they're really pissed off and generally swear at you - when you work it out, the amount they're spending and the amount they would save using the voucher is like $8... wow!

We get all sorts of dramas with that dine-in only voucher, I hate it... and some people get so worked up over a few dollars, it's crazy. A lot of peole are fine about not being able to use it, and some aren't so happy, but they don't cause a fuss, and then there's the people that get really fired up and swear at you and storm out. 

There's heaps more, but I can't remember half of them well enough.


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## Craig2 (Feb 16, 2009)

I manage a towing company among others 
the best one i have heard 
turned up to an accident with the truck driver
Single vehicle stuck in a DITCH/PADDOCK 
went to speak to driver 
ME : hello hows it goin bet you did not expect to be here tonight
HER: look i aint got much money so ill tell you what 
YOU GET ME OUT, ILL GET YOU OFF 
It was about the best job ive been on that one.+


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## Moreliaman (Feb 16, 2009)

I had a customer buy an airstone for his fishtank & then phone up the next day telling me he'd pop it into his tank & watched the airstone for 2 hours & not 1 bubble came out !!! (didnt realise you needed an air pump too)

Also had 2 guys looking at an air curtian (dressed in suits so youd have thought there would have been some intelligence there) after looking at it for about 10 mins 1 of them asked......"how do they fit all the air in there then ?"


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## reptilegirl_jordan (Feb 16, 2009)

Valley Reptile Supplies said:


> I manage a towing company among others
> the best one i have heard
> turned up to an accident with the truck driver
> Single vehicle stuck in a DITCH/PADDOCK
> ...


 hahaha classic


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## redbellybite (Feb 16, 2009)

Valley Reptile Supplies said:


> I manage a towing company among others
> the best one i have heard
> turned up to an accident with the truck driver
> Single vehicle stuck in a DITCH/PADDOCK
> ...


 have you ever thought its probably the way she "pays" for all her contractors :lol:....keeping up with the dominoes pizza add motto "whats in the box with the dots"


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## Sturdy (Feb 16, 2009)

Valley Reptile Supplies said:


> I manage a towing company among others
> the best one i have heard
> turned up to an accident with the truck driver
> Single vehicle stuck in a DITCH/PADDOCK
> ...



I gotta get into tow truck driving.


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## Dipcdame (Feb 16, 2009)

What a giggle!! Sounds like some of these customers would be prime candidates fro the yearly Darwin Awards!!!!! LOL


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## jakethesnake (Feb 17, 2009)

Phone customer: Hi, do you have any neon tetras?
Jake: Yes
Customer: How big are they?
Jake: About 2.5cm
Customer: Oh, so they're still the same size as this morning???


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## abbott75 (Feb 17, 2009)

jakethesnake said:


> Phone customer: Hi, do you have any neon tetras?
> Jake: Yes
> Customer: How big are they?
> Jake: About 2.5cm
> Customer: Oh, so they're still the same size as this morning???



My new job is in a LFS, so I'm getting used to these...


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## Hooglabah (Feb 17, 2009)

oh no weve run out how am i gonna be entertained up here in my bio now


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## sarah_m (Feb 17, 2009)

I had a client come in for a large amount of waxing. Just making conversation i asked her "so do you have any plans for the rest of your day?"
She said "well my boy friend is paying for the waxing so i think we are going to get a room after this" ................... OK, sorry i asked!
Then i went out while she got dressed and asked her boyfriend what her last name is so i could put her into our computer system, and he said he didnt know her last name....................
Again, sorry i asked!


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## sarah_m (Feb 17, 2009)

Also her a "woman" call and ask if we do brazillian waxing. Yes we do thats fine, i am making her appointment and she says "i'm actually a transexual, will this be a problem?':shock::shock::shock:
I told her i was sorry but none of us do male brazilians, to which she replied "but i am living as a woman full time"
Didnt seam to understand that it wasnt the clothes she chose to wear that i had a problem with. I tried to tell "her" again that we are not qualified to do that sort of male waxing.
Then said "oh but what am i going to do, it has been a while since my last wax, i am so overgrown and i like it to be all nice and smooth down there"
TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Twin_Rivers (Feb 17, 2009)

I have some interesting customers in my store, I recently had a customer come in for the first time, we have been open for almost a year:-
Customer:- first time i have been in here.
Me: great welcome feel free to look around if you need any help let me know bla bla bla
Customer; you should of set up closer to the main shopping centre (2 blocks away) i would be in all the time then.
me:- sorry but this was the only shop front on the main hwy suitable at the time we set up.
Customer: if you were down there I would come in all the time, I have to go to Dubbo to get my stuff now because your to far out of the way.
Me: I am sorry that I have inconveinenced you.
Dubbo is 45minutes drive from here.

Our other issue in a small town is people expect us to be more expensive than bigger stores in major centres, examples:
customer: how much are your Jackall's (lures not actual jackal's)
me: $24.25 each
customer: I only pay $29.95 in Dubbo
Me: sorry sir I will match that price for you.
Customer: nah i don't want one.

New Customer: Excuse me do you have Japanese fighting fish,
me: I think you mean siamese fighting fish and yes we have them.
Customer: Jap siamese same thing.
Me (deep breath) yes sir they are just over here.
Customer : how much?
me $5.95 each.
Customer: your a *******ing rip off i'm going to Dubbo to get one.

2 hours later he returned and bought a Siamese fighting fish, plus had wasted $25 of petrol driving to Dubbo.
I could go on all day with customer quotes, but for every bad customer there are 10+ good ones which makes it worth while.
Cheers, 
Phil


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## Snowman (Feb 17, 2009)

:shock:'m a sparky...

Customer: can you run a bare 240v wire infont of my aviary... Cat's keep scaring my birds" Me: :shock: Um no that's illegal, and I'd probably get charged with man slaughter at some stage.
Customer: that's ridiculous. I'll do it myself.....


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## Br3ndo (Feb 17, 2009)

Theres a website full of these

http://notalwaysright.com/

good for a read


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## Hooglabah (Feb 17, 2009)

Twin_Rivers said:


> Our other issue in a small town is people expect us to be more expensive than bigger stores in major centres, examples:
> customer: how much are your Jackall's (lures not actual jackal's)
> me: $24.25 each
> customer: I only pay $29.95 in Dubbo
> ...



im confused do you sell fishing tackle or tropical fish???


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## Twin_Rivers (Feb 17, 2009)

"im confused do you sell fishing tackle or tropical fish??? "
I sell fishing tackle, boating equipment, camping equipment, aquariums and fish (tropical and cold not marine) I sell incense and gifts thats about it really, as a small town between two major rural centres we need a diverse range of products.
Strange shop but currently working for us
cheers,
Phil


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## megrim (Feb 17, 2009)

I'm guilty of being an angry customer from time to time. I just can't stand getting attitude from dimwits when I'm handing over hard-earned cash for the 'privilege'. 
That being said, I did once have a scathing 20 minute long argument with some hoity toity post-menopausal monster at our local library about an unreturned book that I claimed was returned and she claimed wasn't. 

I was so sure I had returned it, but about 2 weeks ago I found it behind our bedroom cupboard, (of all places). I haven't been in that library for over a year, so I'm keeping the book.  I'm far to embarrassed to return it.


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## ambah (Feb 21, 2009)

I'm generally a compliant customer but when someone asks me rudely to "have a look in my bags" when exiting the store, I flat out ignore them and walk past.  If they're polite about it, then yes, go right ahead. They have no legal right to search your bags when leaving the store, they can only search you when entering a store. I didn't know this until I started working in the security industry.. I thought.. so all this time I've been putting up with rude service! lol.


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## seumas12345 (Feb 21, 2009)

ambah said:


> I'm generally a compliant customer but when someone asks me rudely to "have a look in my bags" when exiting the store, I flat out ignore them and walk past.  If they're polite about it, then yes, go right ahead. They have no legal right to search your bags when leaving the store, they can only search you when entering a store. I didn't know this until I started working in the security industry.. I thought.. so all this time I've been putting up with rude service! lol.


 
Ahh I don't know who told you that but we do it differently in my state.... If the store has a sign displayed saying "It is a condition of entry that bags may be checked" then the store reserves the right. Customers are agreeing to the rules and regulations of the store when they enter. Some customers, however, do say "No way you're checking my bag" as they leave the store... It's just a simple matter of us calling security and bam, they are held until they comply.


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## Sel (Feb 21, 2009)

Hehe
I work at coles, and i dont work on registers but when its busy i have to use them ( I HATE THEM!) 
So when it got quiet again, i chucked up my sign so i could close..i had just finished serving my last customer and this rude lady came along and plonked her basket down saying "What does that sign mean?" I said "umm it means im closed.." then she says "Can i come through?" ugggh i let her through, but seriously some people!!!
THEN as she was leaving, she turned around and says to me "Do you have a plastic cup?"
I was a bit speechless..just said "no" and walked away from her. I think she was going to the bottle shop...what does she think i am? A drinking water dispenser?

The other classic stupid question moment happened this week also..it happens most weeks actually lol
There was some bread rolls marked down with a BIG sticker on them saying 50cents. A lady walks over to me and shows me the rolls and says "are these 50 cents???" 
HELLOOOOOO???????

ugggh..people are stupid.


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## ambah (Feb 21, 2009)

seumas12345 said:


> Ahh I don't know who told you that but we do it differently in my state.... If the store has a sign displayed saying "It is a condition of entry that bags may be checked" then the store reserves the right. Customers are agreeing to the rules and regulations of the store when they enter. Some customers, however, do say "No way you're checking my bag" as they leave the store... It's just a simple matter of us calling security and bam, they are held until they comply.


 
Even if there is a sign here, they can still refuse.. as it's only a condition of 'entry', not the law. If they are held, all they have to do is ask if they are under arrest.. if they are not under arrest, you cant hold them and if you do arrest them, and they have done nothing wrong.. then they can sue you/the security officer for false arrest


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## seumas12345 (Feb 21, 2009)

ambah said:


> Even if there is a sign here, they can still refuse.. as it's only a condition of 'entry', not the law. If they are held, all they have to do is ask if they are under arrest.. if they are not under arrest, you cant hold them and if you do arrest them, and they have done nothing wrong.. then they can sue you/the security officer for false arrest


 
Mmm you are probably right...


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## Noongato (Feb 21, 2009)

I get the whole "I want to speak to your manager"
and I reply, "I am the manager"
They fall silent and leave.
MInd you its all a lie, and this is back in the checkout chick days.


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## Noongato (Feb 21, 2009)

Any poor bugger who is working at any sort of large supermarket checkout i feel for. So all those people who are rude and stuff while serving you, just think. You gotta put up with it for 3 mins tops, they gotta do it for 8 hrs a day. 
And usually if i say something to them like, bet youll be glad to go home from this s-hole, that usually lightens the mood.


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## Jewly (Feb 21, 2009)

squeal said:


> I work for a rubbish company and one day got a call from an irate
> member of the public yelling abuse and shouting how a piece of wood
> had come of the back of one of "our" trucks and hit his car.
> I asked were abouts this had happened and when he told me I said
> ...


 
I work for a rubbish company too and I get the same thing all the time. Residents ring up and complain that their wheelie bin wasn't emptied and then start ranting and raving about the slack service they're receiving. Then I ask them which city council they fall under and it turns out it's not even our company that has the contract. I have great pleasure though in telling them which company it is and even giving them the number..lol


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## noidea (Feb 21, 2009)

Years ago I worked in an adult store. Boy did we get some interesting customers. 
I had an old dude that was always complaining about there never being any new movies to buy (uh get a life)

And then there was one guy that asked to put a personal ad on the board I said sure knowing once he was done I had to check it to make sure it was suitable, all I can say is I was shocked to read 'I am waiting out the back naked if ya keen' Needless to say he got a rude shock when the police were the ones who went out to meet him.lol.

Another was a guy that came in to buy his missus a toy and when I asked if he would like to purchase batteries for an extra $1 he cracked saying why would he pay $1 for a 4 pk (good quality energizer) of batteries when he could pick up a heap for $2 at the cheap shop. All I did was shrug my shoulders, he obviously wasn't going to listen to me explain they would eventually corrode inside the toy.

Then you'd get the serial underagers that when asked for ID would burr up no end that they were of age I even had one give me his birth cert that gave him away as being 16 derrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Moreliaman (Feb 21, 2009)

Twin_Rivers said:


> Our other issue in a small town is people expect us to be more expensive than bigger stores in major centres, examples:
> customer: how much are your Jackall's (lures not actual jackal's)
> me: $24.25 each
> customer: I only pay $29.95 in Dubbo
> ...



Im confused too.......you offered to match a higher price than what you were selling them for....were you being sarcastic & he didnt realize & said he didnt want one ? :lol:



Snowman said:


> :shock:'m a sparky...
> Customer: can you run a bare 240v wire infont of my aviary... Cat's keep scaring my birds" Me: :shock: Um no that's illegal, and I'd probably get charged with man slaughter at some stage.
> Customer: that's ridiculous. I'll do it myself.....



LOL... a customer myself & my mate (he's a corgi registered gas fitter) went round to see, old lady about 70+...she had a gas leak in a cupboard under the stairs....we were trying to find it when she came up behind us with a candle asking us if we'd found it yet !!!:shock::shock:...i burnt my hand on the candle putting it out !!


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## Moreliaman (Feb 21, 2009)

Moreliaman said:


> LOL... a customer myself & my mate


Sorry...that sould read.......myself & my mate (he's a corgi registered gas fitter) went round to see a customer


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## coz666 (Feb 21, 2009)

asian customer: do you sell fish to eat?
me : no
asian customer: what kinda fish shop is this
me: an aquarium
asian customer: what about that fish.
me : mate i will sell you a fish but what you do with it is up to you. i really dont want to know.
asian customer, how much for that big one? (red devil adult)
me : $100........
asian customer: no, no, no thats too much (something in own language) you try rip me off.
i no shop here.
and what is chips?
me: mate the fish and chip shop is upstairs.


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## Stitched (Feb 21, 2009)

I was once called out to a house at 2am on a sunday morning to see why a woman's house had no electricity,
she explained to me over the phone that she was having a party and needed the power restored as soon as possible
Whilst driving up the street, I noticed that the street lights were out, which should have been a dead giveaway.
A few quick tests and a phonecall to ETSA confirmed it was indeed, a blackout.
Her response to this was "I dont care, if you dont turn the power back on then im not paying for the call out"
I simply shrugged my shoulders and started to walk out as I was too tired to argue (she was getting the bill no matter what), when a neighbour of hers, who was at the party, grabbed me to ask 
"Can you check my house too? Nothing is working there either."

I honestly think some people should not be allowed to breed


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## Dipcdame (Feb 21, 2009)

Stitched said:


> I was once called out to a house at 2am on a sunday morning to see why a woman's house had no electricity,
> she explained to me over the phone that she was having a party and needed the power restored as soon as possible
> Whilst driving up the street, I noticed that the street lights were out, which should have been a dead giveaway.
> A few quick tests and a phonecall to ETSA confirmed it was indeed, a blackout.
> ...




aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww come ON stitched....... not in Adelaide, surely!!!!!!!! :lol:


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