# boiling blood



## dossy (May 12, 2011)

just a warning this is a venting thread if you dnt like it dnt read it simple


3 months ago mum said she was going to clean the study at that point i left the house to get out of the way i came home and there was crap everywere nothing was neatly stacked there were just piles apon piles of books and folders and a whole bunch of stupid background crap ( mums latvian andd makes sure every one knows) on the floor everywere. now our house isnt all that big but the hallway was covored in crap and the living room was covored in crap and the study was covored in crap and the kitchen was covored in crap and the dining room ( other side of kitchen bench) was covored in crap, basicly evrything other then my room and my sisters room was under a pile of junk. on the weekend i had a few mates over and i made some stuff neat by stacking books and stuff and mum went off at me because i have no idea what im doing. today i fell down a flight of stairs because there are plastic sleves just sitting in dumb spots. 

mum has taken over the kitchen table to do her " hobbies" such as weaving and knitting and other things like that. mum has litraly taken over the entire house and no one can touch a thing to make room with out having our heads bitten of by the beast. 

earlyer this week mum came into my room and "cleaned" my room but infact what she had done was toss out some paper work i needed for a job interveiw and my reptile record keeping book ( one with dates fed ect ect not the blue and white page book u send into the deccw) and she told me my room was to messy because there was stuff on the floor, there was 2 tshirts 2 pair of pants a pair of shoes and a pillow.

i swear if this crap in the house is not cleand up in 2 weeks its all getting dumped on her side of mum and dads room, if it makes it back out and not cleand up the stuff that can be sold will be sold and the usless crap will be burnt through out winter.

also since the junk has made its way from the study to the house mum has been picking fights with everyone, no matter what tone you use( for example i asked wich draw my school reports were in andshe replyed with "the draw" so again i asked wich one and she snaped it...

feel free anyone else who wants to vent about something go for it

now exccuse me while i go for a long *** run and beat the living crap out of the punching bag.


----------



## cement (May 12, 2011)

Well Dossy
You need to read and re read, and read again your signature, the last bit about wisdom.
Until your a parent, you will have absolutely no idea, and continue living in your blissfully ignorant ways.
By all means, treat your punching bag to the hiding it so richly deserves.Lol!!
Oh and read your signature again.... the last bit.
hahahaha!!!!!


----------



## HypnoticSlither (May 12, 2011)

cement said:


> Well Dossy
> You need to read and re read, and read again your signature, the last bit about wisdom.
> Until your a parent, you will have absolutely no idea, and continue living in your blissfully ignorant ways.
> By all means, treat your punching bag to the hiding it so richly deserves.Lol!!
> ...


 
he did write if you dont like it dont read it.... and instead of insults try constructive criticism it is less harsh.


----------



## MissVampz (May 13, 2011)

I understand your frustration. My mother INSISTS that I HAVE to do all my cleaning around the house before I'm allowed to go out on weekends. Keep in mind I'm 20 and paying $120 a week board to boot. and god forbid you should try and tidy anything she's left lying around.


----------



## craig.a.c (May 13, 2011)

You could, oh i don't know, get a job and move out of home.


----------



## saximus (May 13, 2011)

craig.a.c said:


> You could, oh i don't know, get a job and move out of home.


 
lol


----------



## Sezzzzzzzzz (May 13, 2011)

Bahaha... Cant wait til the day my daughter rants about "my mess"- she makes the majority of it!!! I am the complete opposite of you dossy- My dad is the sort of anal neat freak that follows you around with a dustbuster, i refuse to be like that, so you have to pick your way through a pile of toddler toys to get through the house! I feel your pain at not being able to find what you need because someone else was "helping" you!!!


----------



## Torah (May 13, 2011)

untidy house untidy mind , probably why your mums snappy !


----------



## longqi (May 13, 2011)

Uh Oh ^^^^
I didnt realise until now how untidy my mind must be


----------



## Sezzzzzzzzz (May 13, 2011)

longqi said:


> Uh Oh ^^^^
> I didnt realise until now how untidy my mind must be



Mine too longqi!


----------



## JAS101 (May 13, 2011)

craig.a.c said:


> You could, oh i don't know, get a job and move out of home.


 
nah that would be too easy , wouldnt it be better to whine and biatch on a forum rather then doing something about it ?
btw , if u dont like pepoles comments then dont post it on a forum .


----------



## mumofsnakelover (May 13, 2011)

Your mums probably snapping at you because she has other worries in her life right now have you talked to your dad about the situation? perhaps he could take her out for the day whilst you and your sis get stuck into cleaning!!!! good Luck mate usually the anger is not directed at you, you just happen to be the person standing in the firing line!!!!


----------



## snakeluvver (May 13, 2011)

Well she didn't have to throw out his reptile keeping book And papers for work, that's just a fair bit stupid.


----------



## shellfisch (May 13, 2011)

Maybe you could go put your arms around her, and say 'Mum, how can I help?'


----------



## waruikazi (May 13, 2011)

Might be a good time to think about the next big chapter in your life. Move out.


----------



## LizardLady (May 13, 2011)

Well, from a parent's perspective, my youngest daughter (21 in July) moved out of the family home and in with the b/f two years ago... Unfortunately, things went awry and they separated a couple of months ago, with daughter moving back here with us (just me and the hubby - and critters - home)... Now, this young lady and I are VERY close - as mother/daughter and good friends (yes, I know how lucky I am!)...

Now, I love this kid to bits, and would do anything for her... BUT OMG, she is so manky!  I can't see one end of our dining room table (big table too!) for her laptop and study stuff (we paid for her course and laptop, we don't think she'll finish it), and rubbish. We can't see the floor in her room - we have another desk in there for my mother-in-law's finances etc, and need to get in to file papers etc - it's quite literally "enter at own risk"... We've asked her numerous times to at least make a path from the door to the desk and filing cabinet, but that doesn't seem to happen... Short-term memory perhaps? Then there's the bathroom... Well, we won't go into that, it's really not pretty... She has a little dog (Chihauhau/Fox Terrier cross) who WAS an inside dog, but not here. Hubby built fences, gates, dog-proofed the yard etc, built an "overhang" for the kennel etc, and now our garden is totally destroyed... Washing on the line doesn't stay there, dog pulls it down to play with (I know it's not the dog's fault, she's bored...)

Anyway, I could go on, but I won't... Suffice it to say Dossy, there are TWO sides to every story. My advice to you would be to ask yourself one simple question - why is she like this? We mum's don't "do" things without a reason, so that's what I'd be doing as first point of call... THEN, as Shellfisch said, ask her what YOU can do to help...

Oh, and for what it's worth, we do all this as our "parental privilege", and say nothing, just wear it. 

Best,
Carolyn


----------



## cement (May 13, 2011)

mumofsnakelover said:


> Your mums probably snapping at you because she has other worries in her life right now have you talked to your dad about the situation? perhaps he could take her out for the day whilst you and your sis get stuck into cleaning!!!! good Luck mate usually the anger is not directed at you, you just happen to be the person standing in the firing line!!!!



At last some one with brains,experience and wisdom



shellfisch said:


> Maybe you could go put your arms around her, and say 'Mum, how can I help?'



That would be a real good start! Dossy are you listening?



waruikazi said:


> Might be a good time to think about the next big chapter in your life. Move out.



When the above two fail, this is your next step.
Sorry if it doesn't come wrapped in cotton wool with a nice big red bow, candy, lollypops and rainbows.
Which i am sure Hypnotic slither would prefer!


----------



## saximus (May 13, 2011)

Haha poor fella probably just wanted some sympathy and instead has copped it . Dossy how old are you? If you're old enough to be moving out then I can't help but agree with the others but if you're only in your teens then you probably just gotta suck it up and try to keep the peace as much as possible. I learned from the "convincing a parent..." thread that some parents can just be crazy and if she's like that you're not gonna change it


----------



## sookie (May 13, 2011)

Hey,easy on the crazy parent bit.My son's mates love staying here cos it is so laid back.i am a bit crazy,spur of the moment kinda mum.(when i can be).Some rules were meant to be a little broken,im no clean freak and i would much rather smile than frown.

My hubby has turned back into a teenager for some reason,playing World of Warcraft all night,sleeping all day,grouchy and demanding.It's not easy being a mum.It is really a thankless job.The reason kids have time to post a whinge on any forum is becuase mum...with all her faults,is keeping the boat floating.

I bet you would notice her if she wasn't there one day.when did you last say thankyou to her for the smallest thing she does JUST FOR YOU?Clean the freaking house yourself,everyone knows how to complain......do something about it.my son has a box....anything in that box stays.....I don't even look in there,it's his important stuff box.Maybe do that for your important stuff.

It doesn't need to be mothers day for a cuddle,flower from the neighbours garden,make her a cup of tea.


----------



## Recharge (May 13, 2011)

dossy said:


> just a warning this is a venting thread if you dnt like it dnt read it simple
> 
> 
> 3 months ago mum said she was going to clean the study at that point i left the house to get out of the way i came home and there was crap everywere nothing was neatly stacked there were just piles apon piles of books and folders and a whole bunch of stupid background crap ( mums latvian andd makes sure every one knows) on the floor everywere. now our house isnt all that big but the hallway was covored in crap and the living room was covored in crap and the study was covored in crap and the kitchen was covored in crap and the dining room ( other side of kitchen bench) was covored in crap, basicly evrything other then my room and my sisters room was under a pile of junk. on the weekend i had a few mates over and i made some stuff neat by stacking books and stuff and mum went off at me because i have no idea what im doing. today i fell down a flight of stairs because there are plastic sleves just sitting in dumb spots.
> ...


 
everything you've described here mate, is the first signs of hoarding, I would highly suggest you talk to your dad and start an intervention and call for professional help (psychologist)
if this sort of thing is left untreated for very long at all, you're going to face a VERY dificult life in a very short time.

YouTube - Dr. Phil - Extreme Hoarding - Part 1 (yes I know it's dr Phill lol but it's a view to a life of hell if left unchecked)

don't for a second let this type of thing go, if you have to, move out before it's out of control, don't let excuses from anyone involved get in the way.


as for parents with messy kids, put your darn foot down, it's your house, your rules, if they don't like it, they can go do their own thing, no fights, not arguments, put your foot down. clean up or get out.

you do your children no good what so ever by coddling them, especially with mess (beyond a reasonable measure) you do your children no good by buying them stuff instead of them getting off their bums and making their way in life, all you do by doing so, is making them lazy and conceited.  hahah woah! drama time! hehe


----------



## Chris1 (May 13, 2011)

totally agree with the messy house messy mind comment, but its ur mums house,....

i hated that mine nagged about everything, room not tidy enough, shoes left not quite neatly enough at the foot of the stairs, (i took them off, what more did she want, lol,..) clean folded washing dumped on the floor instead of being put away, and worst of all when i left in the mornings she'd ask if i would be home for dinner and what i wanted,..

i envied kids with relaxed messy mums, i thought they were so luckyl,...


looking back, i was an idiot, i wonder if she'll still take me back, lol,..

geez, she cant be that bad, she lets you keep reptiles!! 

also, if your mums picking fights with everyone she might be going thru 'the change',...approach with caution, lol,..!


----------



## mumofsnakelover (May 13, 2011)

So here's my morning so far I say to my 8 year old son " can you clean your room it looks like a tip" the reply that followed from my 10 year son " we don't make the mess you do" now as he was saying this I was thinking what a rude p&[email protected] but I will excuse his rudeness as he is autistic and really has no idea, but revenge is sweet and I have just gone and gotten the biggest bin I could find and have proceeded to throw every bit of crap,clothes, toys and anything else on the floor into the bin..... All the while my son thinks this is funny until I took that bin outside and tipped it in the big bin, then he heard the Garbo coming down the road, he is now frantically retrieving his stuff before the Garbo takes it!!!! Revenge is sweet!!!!


----------



## LizardLady (May 13, 2011)

^^^and a dish best served cold!


----------



## dossy (May 13, 2011)

JAS101 said:


> nah that would be too easy , wouldnt it be better to whine and biatch on a forum rather then doing something about it ?
> btw , if u dont like pepoles comments then dont post it on a forum .



i didnt say i didnt like their comments just said if you dnt like vent threads then dont read it, kind of like dead reptiles and stuff.
also what am i ment to do about it, if anything gets moved we get yelled at and if we ask mum to move it she we get yelled at and the " im doing it " line gets thrown at us

im not the only 1 in the house who wants it cleand. dad my sister and i all want a cleaner house and we want to be able to sit down. at 1st i didnt mind the mess but nothing has happend to it for a long time. sis and i have spoken to dad and then dad talks to mum but it doesnt help, mum went out and sister and i started cleaning and thats when the trouble started. mum didnt like that we were cleaning her stuff so next time i was out was when she "cleaned " my room. my sister and i have already though about moving out a few times for a few difrent things and if if keeps up we probly will go.


----------



## Sezzzzzzzzz (May 13, 2011)

dossy said:


> i didnt say i didnt like their comments just said if you dnt like vent threads then dont read it, kind of like dead reptiles and stuff.
> also what am i ment to do about it, if anything gets moved we get yelled at and if we ask mum to move it she we get yelled at and the " im doing it " line gets thrown at us
> 
> im not the only 1 in the house who wants it cleand. dad my sister and i all want a cleaner house and we want to be able to sit down. at 1st i didnt mind the mess but nothing has happend to it for a long time. sis and i have spoken to dad and then dad talks to mum but it doesnt help, mum went out and sister and i started cleaning and thats when the trouble started. mum didnt like that we were cleaning her stuff so next time i was out was when she "cleaned " my room. my sister and i have already though about moving out a few times for a few difrent things and if if keeps up we probly will go.


 
Dossy, at first i thought the post about hoarding was going over the top but after reading your reply i think Recharge could have a point. if your mum is possessive of her stuff, and it really is rubbish, not just rubbish in your eyes, she may have an issue. But then again maybe she is just feeling like things are getting on top of her atm. there is so many things that could be going on, but dont forget she's your mummy. the woman that gave you life, and loves you unconditionally.


----------



## dossy (May 13, 2011)

oh also to the "your mum does evrything for you" comments, i lernt to cook at the age of 12 because mum was at uni and dad was at work and sis was out alot, now dad and i do the cooking between us, the other cleaning like dishes washing ect ect is split between my sister my dad and i. so that leaves mum with her mess she has been cleaning for 3 months and it still doesn get done.

to the is mums house her rules comments, its dads house and he wants it cleaner then what it is.

the laid back coments, yes my dad is very easy going aswell. and if dad asks me to do something ( lawns, mop sweep ect) then i would do it.

to the "looking for sympathy" comment, no not really i kind of figrd i would be flamed by some and under stood by some but life goes on 

the"i bet you would notice her gone" comment, mum went over seas last year for 2 months. evrything in the hosue was tidy and things got done. when she got back it disrupted the way we worked and there was so much more mess. if i had a plate or cup in the top room i would take it down same with dad and sis. when mum got home she would have like 4 or 5 cups and a bunch of plates in the top room then another plate or two in the study and she would just leave it. it got to a point were she ate of papper plates because all the other plates were dirty ( dad was over seas i was at a mates on holidays and sis had work) 

its not all rubbish there is alot of uni papers and stuff and i understand that, i was a student and i had a lot of papers so uni isnt going to be any less but along with the uni stuff and important papers there are alot of things mums printed off like crostich patterns and knitting paterns and just pictures of things in genral. our printed needed 3 refills in a 31 day period because mum printed so much junk off. 

my sister and i think that mum has alot of issues but we do not know how to tell dad about them and we are telling him slowly so that he dosnt break down into a heap of rust and dust.

i suppose the good bit about the mess is i could get more reptiles and she probly wouldnt notice them for a while 

i know a house will never be 100% clean but at least have it clean enough to function as a house

and btw i fell down the stairs again because the plastic sleves that i moved a few days ago have found their way back there againg


----------



## CrystalMoon (May 13, 2011)

There are so many goods bits of advice and opinions posted in this thread....
I apreciate that this is your vent, and understand that it must be completely frustrating for you 
I am concerned mostly for your Mother, this sounds to me like there are many underlying issues your Mum 
seems to be going through? none of which we know/or need to know  I feel as a family you all need 
to encourage her to get some professional help(what ever level she needs)perhaps she needs a lot of understanding
at this point. It is sometimes easiest to deliver blame and accusations rather than nut out the problems.
Once she is understood and helped you will no doubt all benefit....
I hope you all find some answers and solutions to this problem
Kind regards
Crystal


----------



## Wallypod (May 13, 2011)

MissVampz said:


> I understand your frustration. My mother INSISTS that I HAVE to do all my cleaning around the house before I'm allowed to go out on weekends. Keep in mind I'm 20 and paying $120 a week board to boot. and god forbid you should try and tidy anything she's left lying around.


 
wish i could live at home an pay $120 a week. Way I see it is their roof their rules. Not trying to be harsh just real, I moved out because I wanted to run my house the way I wanted to. Now for that pleasure I pay through the nose for rent, power, food and all those wonderful things you get for $120 a week. Again not having a go, just something to think about.


----------



## dossy (May 13, 2011)

someone on here must have had a talk with the mother...i walked out of my room and BAM the hallway is cleared, well almost cleard but i can see the floor and things are actuly getting moved

OVER JOYED RIGHT ABOUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!! 
its about bloody time aswell


----------



## slim6y (May 13, 2011)

Hands up the obsessive compulsives!

Messy house messy mind? Couldn't disagree more....

Einstein... Devid Bellamy... A kid I taught in school last year.... All messy people with BRILLIANT minds....

There's countless more where that came from - even Lord Rutherford of Nelson... Amazing genius - but the tiding ability of Cyclone Yasi in Tully!

Dossy - you sound just like my mother when I was 13!!!

As for constructive criticism... I can give no more than what everyone else has said....


----------



## Sezzzzzzzzz (May 13, 2011)

slim6y said:


> Hands up the obsessive compulsives!
> 
> Messy house messy mind? Couldn't disagree more....
> 
> ...


 
Theres hope for me yet!! i am going to tell people from now on that i am brilliant and thats why my house is a mess! Thanks slim6y.


----------



## slim6y (May 13, 2011)

newtolovingsnake said:


> Theres hope for me yet!! i am going to tell people from now on that i am brilliant and thats why my house is a mess! Thanks slim6y.



Unfortunately, although a fine line, there is a difference between slovenly and brilliance....


----------



## Sezzzzzzzzz (May 13, 2011)

damn....


----------



## captive_fairy (May 13, 2011)

I only have a 3 year old and a 1 and a half year old, but I know what I was like as a teen and in the last 3 years I have found a whole new respect for my mum. And you really can't appreciate it until your a parent yourself. (and mine aren't even teens yet).
My lounge room is covered in toys, But the kids have fun. And I'm teaching when it's time to clean up, if I have to do it, it gets chucked out.
I moved about 4 months ago, and still can't get the car in the garage and crap all over the house. I am getting to it, very slowly, but lifes to short to spend all your time cleaning.
I knew a lady who was soooo anal about having a clean house, and then she fell pregnant. The kid had a corner in the house with a mat and about 5 toys. We were told at partys to give money only cause they didn't want clutter. In my opinion, that's no way live.

Now on the other hand, My dad is a hoarder. He has a 4 car garage that, When i moved out, had the smallest walkway, but you could get to the back (just). It has a very high roof and the back quarter has a second level. The WHOLE garage is FULL. Wall to wall, floor to ceiling. Somehow my mum has managed to keep MOST of the crap in the garage. My brother, sister and I realise that we will be the ones cleaning it up (unless mum significantly outlives dad) but, it's his escape, and he clearly needs it.
If it really is that big a problem, maybe she needs something like dad's garage, I know that a garage may not be an option obviously, just an idea that you may be able to modify.

And as has been said, It's your parents house. If you don't like it move out.


----------



## dossy (May 13, 2011)

captive_fairy said:


> I only have a 3 year old and a 1 and a half year old, but I know what I was like as a teen and in the last 3 years I have found a whole new respect for my mum. And you really can't appreciate it until your a parent yourself. (and mine aren't even teens yet).
> My lounge room is covered in toys, But the kids have fun. And I'm teaching when it's time to clean up, if I have to do it, it gets chucked out.
> I moved about 4 months ago, and still can't get the car in the garage and crap all over the house. I am getting to it, very slowly, but lifes to short to spend all your time cleaning.
> I knew a lady who was soooo anal about having a clean house, and then she fell pregnant. The kid had a corner in the house with a mat and about 5 toys. We were told at partys to give money only cause they didn't want clutter. In my opinion, that's no way live.
> ...


 
yes it my perants house...but dad is my perant aswell and he wants it clean. we cant give mum a room or anything because she has taken over the entire house. we gave her the study for all her stuff but it ended up coming out.

its not the mess in the study or her room i cared about its the mess in the "common" areas were we watch tv or hve family friends over and stuff that gets to dad my sister and i. but as i said before its geting cleaned today.....still not allowed to touch anything but at least she cleaning it up now


----------



## Australis (May 13, 2011)

Download hoarders tv series


----------



## Sezzzzzzzzz (May 13, 2011)

Dossy, after reading all of this I just wanna give you a hug. It sounds like this has been an ongoing issue and goes beyond a few magazines lying around. I dont know how to say this any other way but bluntly, cos no matter how I say it i may offend you, but I really think your mum needs to talk to someone. I can see how frustrating this must be for you, as no-one wants there friends to come over and see piles of stuff everywhere. I think its very positive that your mum is cleaning it today.

I once new these 2 brothers and youd go to their house and deadset there were boxes of **** piled to roof and with one small viewing area for the tv in the lounge, one of the brothers bedrooms was stacked to the ceiling and covered his bed (he slept on the lounge) but goddamn you could ask for a paper clip and they could tell you exactly what box it was in even if it was 5 boxes deep. I hated going their it made me feel claustrophobic.


----------



## captive_fairy (May 13, 2011)

dossy said:


> yes it my perants house...but dad is my perant aswell and he wants it clean. we cant give mum a room or anything because she has taken over the entire house. we gave her the study for all her stuff but it ended up coming out.
> 
> its not the mess in the study or her room i cared about its the mess in the "common" areas were we watch tv or hve family friends over and stuff that gets to dad my sister and i. but as i said before its geting cleaned today.....still not allowed to touch anything but at least she cleaning it up now



If your dad doesn't like it, then it's up to him to bring it up with your mum. Maybe all of you can approach her together, but chances are you won't get anywhere by yourself, cause it's not YOUR house.
My parents house didn't originally have a garage and thats how it started at my place, their bedroom first, then the loungeroom, kitchen etc. So they built the garage.
As I said, I know it's probably not an option, but just an idea.
I missed the one about it getting cleaned, but good to hear.


----------



## KaotikJezta (May 13, 2011)

All the comments about it's her house get over it or move out, should have read Dossys post properly. I feel your pain, my mother is not only incredibly messy and doesn't clean but she is a hypochondriac and a compulsive liar. The compulsive liar thing really got me in trouble as I would complain to my friends and she'd tell lies and say how sick she was and act like the coolest mother in the world then all my friends would think I was rotten to her. She couldn't be helped as she never and still doesn't admit she has a problem. She ended up moving back to Wales as she had stuffed everything up with everyone here and found out she had a rich cousin ;back home' and I have to say my life has been so much less stressful since she went. Just because someone is a parent does not automatically mean that they are in the right and their kids are being selfish. Having said that, I fall into the messy genius group and I feel for my kids as I am the first to admit I am domestically challenged unless it comes to something like reptile enclosures, but I also don't expect them to do everything I should be doing either. So the house gets a bit messy and I suck it up and clean it, it is my problem not my kids.


----------



## captive_fairy (May 13, 2011)

I'm genuinly not having a go just stating experience, and everyone is different, so it may or may not be helpful.
I don't expect my kids to do everything I should be doing either, but if it's their mess, they clean it (they are only pre-schoolers, but that's the way it will be when their older), or I chuck it. If it's my mess, I'll get to it (probably after the other 50,000 things I have to do)
If there is an underlying problem, then the situation is different.
If it's just mess, then I think the comments of it's her house do apply.
As i said, if the dad has a problem with it, then it's up to him to work it out, or do it as a family. 
Another thing to think about, I've had friends forced to live on the streets when they were teens. When I went to visit them, there were piles of (genuine) rubbish, piss etc. At least you have a roof over your head.
Ultimately it's a personal situation that noone on a forum will be able to understand fully without both sides of the story.


----------



## fugawi (May 13, 2011)

I'm definitely not a professional or psychiatrist but there seems to be an underlying problem here. your mum went O/S and when she came home, she had nothing to do, got in the way and was a 5th wheel. Maybe to feel more like a mum she decided to clean and it got too much. Another possibility is she stirred up memories O/S and started to look for something, starting in the study and working through the house trying to find it, without putting things back. It would explain the don't touch anything (until I find ?). 

Hoarders usually build up over years, not suddenly pull everything out and just leave it. It sounds like the house was clean and everything throughout the house has a place to go, it just needs to be put back.

Either way, it sounds like she has found what she was looking for or at least got over whatever problem she has (at least partially). Organise dinners at neat freaks houses, get behind her and help with the cleaning (she goes through the boxes and you put it away) but most of all love her and encourage her and talk to her because she is your mum and will always be your mum.

If all else fails try what Sheldon from Big Bang Theory did with Penny and throw her a chocolate when she does something good, positive reinforcement.LOL


----------



## Chris1 (May 13, 2011)

and tonight, you, your sister and dad should make her a nice dinner of appreciation to make it known that you think its really awesome that shes put in an effort,.....


----------



## snakeluvver (May 13, 2011)

mumofsnakelover said:


> So here's my morning so far I say to my 8 year old son " can you clean your room it looks like a tip" the reply that followed from my 10 year son " we don't make the mess you do" now as he was saying this I was thinking what a rude p&[email protected] but I will excuse his rudeness as he is autistic and really has no idea, but revenge is sweet and I have just gone and gotten the biggest bin I could find and have proceeded to throw every bit of crap,clothes, toys and anything else on the floor into the bin..... All the while my son thinks this is funny until I took that bin outside and tipped it in the big bin, then he heard the Garbo coming down the road, he is now frantically retrieving his stuff before the Garbo takes it!!!! Revenge is sweet!!!!


 
That is an absolutely horrible thing to do! Saying that you make the mess isnt even that rude, and yet you are mature enough to think of your autistic son as a "prick" and get revenge on him.


----------



## Sezzzzzzzzz (May 13, 2011)

snakeluvver said:


> That is an absolutely horrible thing to do! Saying that you make the mess isnt even that rude, and yet you are mature enough to think of your autistic son as a "prick" and get revenge on him.


 

Snakeluvver maybe when you have kids you'll realise that there is nothing wrong with teaching your children consequences, autistic or not. I often tell my 2 yr old that if she doesnt help me pick up her toys that i will put them in the bin. They either get picked up or they go into a black bin bag and placed next to the bin. You think your mum hasnt at some point thought to herself, gosh that kids being a prick?


----------



## fugawi (May 13, 2011)

Autistic doesn't mean " handle with kid gloves and wrap in cotton wool", still a kid, still annoying, still naughty and should be treated the same as any normal kid, taking into account the limits of the disability.


----------



## KaotikJezta (May 13, 2011)

fugawi said:


> Autistic doesn't mean " handle with kid gloves and wrap in cotton wool", still a kid, still annoying, still naughty and should be treated the same as any normal kid, taking into account the limits of the disability.


 Agreed, but taking revenge and calling him names, which one is the child.


----------



## Sezzzzzzzzz (May 13, 2011)

kaotikjezta said:


> Agreed, but taking revenge and calling him names, which one is the child.


 
She didnt call him a prick, she thought it. direct quote "" we don't make the mess you do" now as he was saying this I was thinking what a rude p&[email protected]".


----------



## KaotikJezta (May 13, 2011)

newtolovingsnake said:


> She didnt call him a prick, she thought it. direct quote "" we don't make the mess you do" now as he was saying this I was thinking what a rude p&[email protected]".


Ok fair enough and I guess I don't know the degree of autism but she did state he rally has no idea.


----------



## Red-Ink (May 13, 2011)

Snakeluvver.. a little story for you.

This is how I learnt not to leave the bike in the driveway as a child....

After repeated daily reminders from the old man not to "park" my bike in the driveway to no avail as I never moved it or forgot to as most kids would say..... 

My old man come home one night after a long day at work. 

I heard the carstop... 
then the gates open... (so what I was inside playing super mario on nintendo)... 
then the sound of the roller door to the garage... 
then the sound of the angle grinder... 
followed by the sound of* two pieces of metal hitting the floor*...
Never again did i forget to leave anything in the driveway after that lol. 
I was swearing black and blue then but I think it's hilarious now... serves my punk *** right.


----------



## Sezzzzzzzzz (May 13, 2011)

As a parent you get sick of constantly saying the same thing over and over again. You find a method of discipline that works for you and you use it, unless you intend on raising spoilt brats with no respect.

Red-ink did you ever leave your bike in the driveway again? Did you ever get another bike should be my first question i suppose!


----------



## Red-Ink (May 13, 2011)

newtolovingsnake said:


> As a parent you get sick of constantly saying the same thing over and over again. You find a method of discipline that works for you and you use it, unless you intend on raising spoilt brats with no respect.
> 
> Red-ink did you ever leave your bike in the driveway again? Did you ever get another bike should be my first question i suppose!


 
Yeah.... I did get another bike (eventually) but I had to "earn" the new one .


----------



## Sezzzzzzzzz (May 13, 2011)

Red-Ink said:


> Yeah.... I did get another bike (eventually) but I had to "earn" the new one .


 
AHHH the good ol' days when everything wasnt just handed to you


----------



## CrystalMoon (May 13, 2011)

newtolovingsnake said:


> AHHH the good ol' days when everything wasnt just handed to you


I came from a wealthy family, but I was made work and work hard for anything I ever got. I used to think I was
unfairly treated back then.... Now I thank my Dad regularly for making me such a hard working strong woman.
I didnt like how it was under his roof, so at 17 I left home to fend for myself and that I did with varying degrees of
success LOL I never once called on him for help(it came close sometimes) I have and am bringing both my Children 
with the same life ethics. There is an old saying, if you cant stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.....
This is not directed at the original poster but at people(that are living at home) in general that take the home nest forgranted


----------



## mumofsnakelover (May 13, 2011)

It wasn't the autistics sons stuff that I removed and put in the bin it was my other son, after he retrieved his stuff he apologized profusely and said he had learnt his lesson and he will clean it when I tell him!


----------



## snakeluvver (May 13, 2011)

Ok sorry, mumofsnakelover, I misread your post.


----------



## MissVampz (May 25, 2011)

Wallypod said:


> wish i could live at home an pay $120 a week. Way I see it is their roof their rules. Not trying to be harsh just real, I moved out because I wanted to run my house the way I wanted to. Now for that pleasure I pay through the nose for rent, power, food and all those wonderful things you get for $120 a week. Again not having a go, just something to think about.


 
Oh don't get me wrong, home life is wonderfully easy compared to living out of home (I've done it) I just get frustrated when I know people my age who are working, pay no board and contribute nothing to the household and still! get every little thing they want. It makes it seem a little unfair. But I also laugh cause when they move out their gonna have no idea. Yeah sure we have our bad days at home, but the good days outweigh those. I love my parents all to bits and spoil them any time I have a bit of extra cash.


----------

