# favourite comedians and funny quotes



## AshleighMarie (May 31, 2011)

Hey guys! I want to see some more stand up! who are ur favourite comedians? Also what'd ur favourite quotes??

I love *DYLAN MORAN & RICKY GERVAIS*. so good. I'm seeing dylan moran in about 2 and a half months  black books is the best. 

"When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'"

On drugs: "I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it."

"Vodka! That's a child's drink, why am I drinking this stupid drink, oh and why am I on a traffic island?"
:lol:
"I'm a vegetarian, well I'm not hardcore because I eat meat, but only because I like the taste, and I hate vegetables on a personal level so I'm not too good!"


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## Braidotti (May 31, 2011)

Danny Bhoy, Jimmy Carr, are both funny as.


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## SYNeR (May 31, 2011)

Bill Hicks, hands down.
Also, George Carlin.


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## AshleighMarie (May 31, 2011)

SYNeR said:


> Bill Hicks, hands down.
> Also, George Carlin.


 
george carlin. genius. Love his quotes on religion


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## saximus (May 31, 2011)

Tim Minchin is my favourite at the moment


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## Tristan (May 31, 2011)

Eddie Izzard is pretty funny as evidance by this stop animation to one of his stand up skits 

[video=youtube;Sv5iEK-IEzw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5iEK-IEzw[/video]


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## FusionMorelia (May 31, 2011)

Kat Williams and good old Billy Connelly, cant ever go past Eddie Murphy- delirious and Richard Pryor 
Ron White from blue collar comedy and russle brand all very good stand up dvds


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## mmafan555 (May 31, 2011)

Most Favorite: Carlin, Hicks, Chris Rock

Least favorite: :Leary...He sucks and is a joke stealer and a complete tool


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## leighroy6 (May 31, 2011)

carl barron is my favourite, he's got a new stand up tour i think i'd recommend seeing that...quote "do u ever forget your gunna die one day then u remember and it kind of ruins ya day? *whistling to himself and remembers* ohh **** whats the point of doing anything if ur just gunna die!!" lol


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## SamNabz (May 31, 2011)

How has no one said Arj Barker yet??


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## Trench (May 31, 2011)

Tim Hawkins and my brother


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## abnrmal91 (May 31, 2011)

Favorite quote for me is from Pulp Fiction -Jules 'Ezekiel 25 17 The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides with the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon those with great vengeance and with furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know that my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.'


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## sarah_m (May 31, 2011)

Danny Bhoy, Carl Barron and Adam Hills!!


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## Trouble (May 31, 2011)

Adam Hills, Tim Minchin, Eddie Murphey, and of course, Robin Williams!!


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## Snakewoman (May 31, 2011)

saximus said:


> Tim Minchin is my favourite at the moment


 
I like him too, I like his lullaby. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESFANzZTdYM


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## Cockney_Red (May 31, 2011)

Winston Churchill.........." Mr Churchill, you are drunk!....Yes madam, and you are ugly, but in the morning,I will be sober"


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## Specks (May 31, 2011)

Jim breur
YouTube, Jim breur alcohol and you will see one of the funniest acts ever, would someone mind posting the link cause I can't on my phone
also Carl barron is a dead set legend,saw him live for his third series. So much better than DVD


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## lazylizzy (May 31, 2011)

CARL BARRON!!!. quote.. " i met a girl who said i wouldnt date you even if you were the last person on earth.. i said, if i was the last person on eath, you wouldnt be here to reject me."


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## kawasakirider (May 31, 2011)

leighroy6 said:


> carl barron is my favourite, he's got a new stand up tour i think i'd recommend seeing that...quote "do u ever forget your gunna die one day then u remember and it kind of ruins ya day? *whistling to himself and remembers* ohh **** whats the point of doing anything if ur just gunna die!!" lol


 
I like Carl Barron, but not that quote... It happens to me all the time 

"Would you care for an orange juice?" "Only if it needed me" lol

Chris Lilly is pretty funny.


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## bigfella77 (May 31, 2011)

Julia Gillard. What a clown.


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## kawasakirider (May 31, 2011)

HAHA ^^^ 

Bigfella - 2011 APS tour


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## Skinnerguy (May 31, 2011)

Reginald D Hunter, Paul Mcdermott, and The Umbilical Brothers


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## harley0402 (May 31, 2011)

Carl Barron !!! He doesn't even have to say anything and he makes people laugh


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## bigfella77 (May 31, 2011)

I saw a Pommy bloke on tv one night I think he was called the Land Lord, he was really funny.


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## kawasakirider (May 31, 2011)

Neg from Balls Of Steel, that guy is a champion.


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## harley0402 (May 31, 2011)

My fav is. I did a show in England and a man walked up to me after the show and said 'gripping life you do lead young man, very much enjoyed your show, sthankyou.' Gets back to Australia and a guy walked up to me and said 'Geez your a little funny f...... bastard you are.', winks and walks off..

carl barron


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## Red-Ink (May 31, 2011)

Alonzo Bodin one of his quotes...

"_having a female friend is like having $19 in the bank and staring at your ATM card at the ATM_"


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## Snakewoman (Jun 1, 2011)

I like this guy:

 
*"Drive Thru Voice" - Gabriel Iglesias*


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## sesa-sayin (Jun 1, 2011)

the great deceased TONY HANCOCK from East Cheem......................."My name's HHHH Hancock ! What's yours ?

WINSTON CHURCHILL to a Labor member of Parliament, named Paling , after the War, when Churchill, was on the slide, called Churchill an old/worn-out British Bulldog...in reply the great man said...............Well we all know what an old bulldog will do to a paling !!!!!!!!!!!

don't ever forget the wonderful FRANK MUIR< DENNIS NORDON<< and NANCY SPAIN


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## HoffOff (Jun 2, 2011)

Jim jefferies, aussie comedian and hilarious.
YouTube - ‪Jim Jefferies - Bagdad.avi‬&rlm;
(Does contain some language, kiddies.


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## Morgwynn (Jun 2, 2011)

AshleighMarie said:


> I love *DYLAN MORAN & RICKY GERVAIS*. so good. I'm seeing dylan moran in about 2 and a half months  black books is the best.


I love Dylan Moran. And Bill Bailey, also from Black Books. 
I am very very jealous that you get to see Dylan Moran.


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## CrystalMoon (Jun 2, 2011)

I love the boys from little Britian, Carl Barron, the umbilical brothers, GNW, Craig Ferguson, and Ark Mal(or is it Ach Med?)he is on GNW a lot 
and Arj Barker.


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## AshleighMarie (Jun 2, 2011)

Morgwynn said:


> I love Dylan Moran. And Bill Bailey, also from Black Books.
> I am very very jealous that you get to see Dylan Moran.


 
i'm glad someone else likes him and black books. I've been wanting to see dylan since i was about 15 haha! so i'm pretty excited!


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## LullabyLizard (Jun 2, 2011)

Adam Hills  And I loved The Chaser!


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