# All Cat lovers unite



## junglemad (Aug 23, 2005)

Here is a nice gadget for keeping your cat under control whenever it needs to be out of the house. Be careful to make sure you overtighten.


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## Possum (Aug 23, 2005)

Ouch!!! :shock:


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## peterescue (Aug 23, 2005)

Is it just me or can others see a problem here?
Its just plain cruel, there needs to be some sort of support under the head to stop it slipping out.


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## Menagerie (Aug 23, 2005)

if that was an ad for a reptile restrainer people would be furious. Not exactly funny.


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## olivehydra (Aug 23, 2005)

peterescue said:


> Is it just me or can others see a problem here?
> Its just plain cruel, there needs to be some sort of support under the head to stop it slipping out.



I think you would find if you tighten the screw far enough it should act as an internal support for kitty thus preventing it from slipping.


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## ether (Aug 23, 2005)

> if that was an ad for a reptile restrainer people would be furious. Not exactly funny.



Well said


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## Parko (Aug 23, 2005)

Junglemad you should be cautious advising use of this product, I've heard they can really screw your cat up.


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## dobermanmick (Aug 23, 2005)

Luckily i dont have a cat otherwise one of these would be necessary!


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## Retic (Aug 23, 2005)

I can't believe people are getting bent out of shape about this. IT'S A JOKE.


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## star11 (Aug 23, 2005)

It looks cheap and effective to me...plus it doesn't actually kill the cat, just keeps it in line.
Jus


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## playwell (Aug 23, 2005)

Meewouch!!! :lol:


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## Guest (Aug 23, 2005)

*re All*

:evil: I think our cat needs one of these,i just feed it and feed it and feed it,i think its got a blocked dirt chute!! :evil:


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## peterescue (Aug 23, 2005)

Perhaps if it didnt have a pointed bit we could all have a laugh?


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## Guest (Aug 24, 2005)

http://www.bonsaikitten.com/bkgallery.html
this is worse


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## moosenoose (Aug 24, 2005)

Surely to God that can't be a serious website!!!

I can fully see the humor in the cat carrier - I have a sick sense of humor at the best of times, but that last website....man!!!....I am seriously fuming and would love to break the jaw of the guy doing it!! :evil: :evil: :x


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## Retic (Aug 24, 2005)

No it isn't serious, it has been doing the rounds for years now.


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## Deano (Aug 24, 2005)

Thank god for that then, that web site was disturbing?.


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## Sdaji (Aug 24, 2005)

That web site was absolutely hilarious! So comprehensive... I can imagine that the occasional person would be convinced, but it is littered with humour and there are many (presumably deliberate) subtle clues which point to it being a joke and also pointing out that it is utterly impossible, aside from being unspeakably cruel. The level of detail he goes into and the amount of technical correctness (apart from the apparently deliberate flaws) is so impressive. I think the only piece of humour I didn't appreciate was the use of a shoe horn to get the kitten inside the containers, it was a bit too silly. I absolutely loved the feedback page, especially the people discussing the different shapes their cats were in... "I tried to make a rhomboid cat, but it turned into a parallelogram... perhaps I could salvage it and produce a trapezoid shaped cat..." well, by that stage it wasn't making much sense, but the vivid descriptions and general absurdities were hilarious.

Yes, we would get upset if people spoke about snakes like that, but then again, they do it all the time, it isn't unusual for people to publicly boast about killing or torturing reptiles and we survive. This site gives so many clear clues that it's a big joke, it's all in good fun unless you're silly enough to get upset too quickly to notice. The vast majority of cat keepers are eco-terrorists anyway, so don't loose too much sleep if they get a little upset 

I've seen spam emails going around trying to collect funds to stop the bonsai kitten movements... I can't tell whether they are serious or just trying to help the Nigerian economy, but always assumed the latter.

If cats have nine lives, why do I only ever need to kill them once?


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## Possum (Aug 24, 2005)

:lol: :lol: I was going out to buy a glass jar and then I remembered I don't own a cat, do you think I could try it on something else or someone's cat .... :twisted:


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## Retic (Aug 24, 2005)

You could try it with a possum.


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## Retic (Aug 24, 2005)

Sdaji, yes it is fairly obvious it is a joke but there are always gullible people out there. How many emailed the bloke with the $500 GTP's ?


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## peterescue (Aug 24, 2005)

What do you mean its a joke and your just jealous you missed out on the $500(actually I think it was $700, I'd better check the reciept) GTP's.


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## Possum (Aug 24, 2005)

boa said:


> You could try it with a possum.



Real nice....... you had to go ruin it  
Smart alec......


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## herptrader (Aug 24, 2005)

They have been Bonsai'ing snakes for years and putting them in jars. The first real snakes I ever saw were in coiled up in jars at a university open day.

I am guessing that a cat bonsai'd into a glass jar cannot become ferel so I am all for it. I reckon they should start selling kitten bonsai kits at Coles and start giving them a way in breakfast cereal packets!


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## Retic (Aug 24, 2005)

What makes you think I missed out ?  



peterescue said:


> What do you mean its a joke and your just jealous you missed out on the $500(actually I think it was $700, I'd better check the reciept) GTP's.


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## Fuscus (Aug 24, 2005)

BonsaiKitten has been up for about 5 years and is still fooling people


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## marty (Aug 24, 2005)

speakin of cats
my MD has just discovered that there is a tastey meal outside his lofty enclosure (my wifes cat). he looks veeeerrrryyy interested in it. keeps tappin' the glass and tryin to attract its attention. i showed the wife, ooohhh, NOT HAPPY JAN. '"keep that snake room door closed. if i come home and the cat is missing, you better be gone to". poor Becker won't get a fresh feed of cat. Spose he will just have to keep dreamin'


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## Possum (Aug 24, 2005)

You should hide the cat and see if she will follow thru with the threat if she is just a little sad then buy her a kitten problem solved :twisted:


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## alexr (Aug 24, 2005)

possum said:


> Smart alec......


You called?

I'm with you Sdaji. Read the who site word for word when I came across it about 6months ago, and was very impressed. Forward it on to several people and they all thought it was real.


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## junglemad (Aug 24, 2005)

raises hand gullibly

Pak Obs" &lt;[email protected]> Add to Address Book 
To: [email protected] 
Subject: green tree pythons 
Date: Sat, 07 May 2005 22:47:11 +1000 


hi , i can't send photos, i'm in sydney, it's not a typo, they're legit &amp; 
yes, i'm serious.

i'm new to oz, so i had no idea of local prices. back in the u.s these gtp's 
are popular so i'm just asking for what i paid for my hatchlings. they are 
equivalent to other top end specs &amp; $.
they are just as easy to breed as other morelia, once you understand their 
specific needs.
i'm amazed they're not more popular over here.

i've been overwhelmed by responses &amp; been brought up to speed. are you guys 
serious?!
$10000! for a hatchling! and they're ozy snakes! what's up with this?

thanks everyone for all the gos. makes interesting reading! including 
corruption &amp; conspiracy theories.
a breeder just told me that widlife authorities raid local breeders in nqld 
&amp; elsewhere to keep the prices high. seriously!? makes me wonder about my 
best specs i lost in quarantine.
i personally think that when prices are too high, you get theft &amp; 
corruption.
i for one am going to keep my prices reasonable as an antidote to this 
situation.
(so long as i don't get done myself!). makes me a little nervous knowing my 
clutches are worth more than my house! if some of you are pulling my leg 
then can someone level with me!

anyway, they're cheaper cos i figure they're png/oz, not pure &amp; i'm not in 
it for the $
what i've decided to do anyway, is swap for other top end specs, or just 
interesting herps.
so if you don't mind, i'll exchange instead. i'm particularly interested in 
these specs:-

black &amp; gold jungle pythons, yellow diamonds, pygmy pythons, oenpelli,
thorny devils, frilled necks, pygmy monitors, perentie and albino's of any 
specs.

so please tell me what you want to swap &amp; send photos if you can.

Johnny


did i email him??? deny deny deny!!!


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## Retic (Aug 25, 2005)

Yes there is one born every minute.........well several apparently :lol:


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## Deano (Aug 25, 2005)

Sdaji and Boa you guys are the best I mean how come it got everyone else that has never seen the site before and you guys just new it was a joke all along, well done, you guys rock!


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## Blakos (Aug 25, 2005)

I couldn't agree more Deano. Sdaji and Boa you guys are such smart lil fellas how did you know that website was a joke, you guys really rock my world too...I hope this gives you a big enough head to float away and disappear from the site.


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## peterescue (Aug 25, 2005)

Thats enough fellas, its bad enough when Sdaji is right without you guys massaging his ego.
Dont worry too much guys there are still people who believe that story about the Cambodian Midget Wrestling Team.(and it goes on)


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## Retic (Aug 25, 2005)

Well, like Sdaji, if you read the site it is made fairly obvious that it is a joke, a sick joke granted but a joke none the less. 

Wow Blakos, 4 posts and you are already trying to boot us off the site, you'll fit in well :lol: 



Blakos said:


> I couldn't agree more Deano. Sdaji and Boa you guys are such smart lil fellas how did you know that website was a joke, you guys really rock my world too...I hope this gives you a big enough head to float away and disappear from the site.


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## Sdaji (Aug 25, 2005)

There's no glory in spotting that the site is a joke, no one is trying to boast. The guy has done a brilliant job of making it seem plausible if you take a very short glimpse and put in a fair bit of accurate technical data, but then makes obvious errors and throws in blatant absurdities. I think he is trying to have a lend of anyone who gets upset. Surely if you didn't understand that it is utterly biologically impossible to 'bonsai' a cat (fair enough I suppose, we're not all biologists or experienced with the basic realities of animals) and were convinced it was real, you would be horribly shocked by the unspeakable cruelty and be compelled to read the whole thing, which would lead you to realise it is all in jest. On realising it was a joke, you'd laugh (if you had a sense of humour) and all would be well. Since it's in jest and so well done, I'd have enjoyed it even if it was about reptiles, marsupials, grasshoppers or penguins.

Welcome to the site Blackos, it's good to see that you've worked out how things work around here. I presume that you've waited almost four months to make your fourth post so that you would get it right, yes, insulting people is what makes this place go 'round  :lol: It looks like you'll fit in well 

peterescue, I think they were actually being sarcastic, I don't think they were massaging my ego at all  (see, it's not just cat jokes I can spot :lol: ) It's okay, you can still be my number one masseur.

Laugh a little, guys


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## Deano (Aug 25, 2005)

Ok boa, you have mentioned it?s a joke about 7 times we all know, relax mate, as I said we only seen the link once and other people have only seen it once so you can expect them to ask questions about the site but thanks for clarifying it?s a joke! Much appreciated mate where would this site be without you?.


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## Blakos (Aug 25, 2005)

Haha with people like you on this site wasting everyones time replying with smart alec comments to peoples posts ....then mate whats the point.

And WOW boa looks like you've annoyed 998 people, you really have matured 

Sdija, four months and I keep seeing you online haven't you got something decent to post .....Haha and a big WOW to you too 2256 rubbish posts 
Wake up guys everyone see's you both as fools.

Hehehe Laugh a lil more!

(edited by mod)


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## Deano (Aug 25, 2005)

Well you are right there sdaji, it looks like Blakos will fit in after all LMAO??


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## Sdaji (Aug 25, 2005)

Haha :lol: you're really getting the hang of it 

By the way, posting 998 times doesn't equate to annoying 998 people... you can actually annoy multiple people with each post, as more than one person reads each one! :shock:  Such gorgeous efficiency! 

You're right about there being no point to posting, but we, the lifeless morons who are the non silent APS members seem not to notice or care 

Something decent to post? Me? Nah, never 

I'm used to people seeing me as a fool, lots of fun 



> Hehehe Laugh a lil more!



Will do 

/me looks around for the popcorn

Oh, Blakos, are you buying a new car this weekend?


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## Retic (Aug 25, 2005)

I was going to ask what you did for a living but you are apparently the APS spokesman, or should that be spokesperson ?



Blakos said:


> Wake up guys everyone see's you both as fools.
> 
> Hehehe Laugh a lil more!


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## Retic (Aug 25, 2005)

BUMP


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## Retic (Aug 25, 2005)

It certainly doesn't seem to take much to rattle your cage doesn't it ? Give the recent problems this site has had maybe I was wrong, you might not fit in after all, lighten up a little.


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## Parko (Aug 25, 2005)

Hey can you guys please stay on topic, we are talking about putting cats in little bottles okay? How can the serious people like me expect to do any research at all with all this bickering?


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## Retic (Aug 25, 2005)

I've been trying to figure out how to get a mouse into a hourglass, I want half the mouse in the top and half in the bottom.


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## Parko (Aug 25, 2005)

boa said:


> I've been trying to figure out how to get a mouse into a hourglass, I want half the mouse in the top and half in the bottom.


 Take both ends off the hour glass, cut the mouse into 2 equal pieces, put one piece in each end of the hour glass then replace the ends.


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## peterescue (Aug 25, 2005)

No thats not how you do it. You need to place a pinky into the hourglass and the it will grow like that. I saw a photo of a freshwater turtle that had grown up with a plastic milk bottle ring around its middle.


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## Parko (Aug 25, 2005)

Some chinese women used to, and may still, wear tiny wooden shoes which would stunt their feet as they grow up because some chinese men used to, and may still, find women with deformed feet attractive. Does this suggest that perhaps the bonsai kitten may indeed be possible? And if so do chinese male cats find them attractive?


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## peterescue (Aug 25, 2005)

LMAO


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## Blakos (Aug 25, 2005)

Any ...**** wanna buy me garden skink


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## Retic (Aug 25, 2005)

I tried the chopping the mouse in half method but they really are a bugger to stick back together.


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## Blakos (Aug 25, 2005)

thats nice boa....go !!!! ....****


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## Sdaji (Aug 25, 2005)

> boa wrote: ?I've been trying to figure out how to get a mouse into a hourglass, I want half the mouse in the top and half in the bottom.
> 
> Take both ends off the hour glass, cut the mouse into 2 equal pieces, put one piece in each end of the hour glass then replace the ends.



Boa: Didn't you read the bonsai kitten site? It says many times that cats have unique bones and are the only species which you can contort like that. 

Parko: shame on you, mice are one of god's creatures and should never be harmed in any way for any purpose, ever, no matter what. Also, cutting them in half might kill them, unless both halves can grow into new mice, as with starfish, planarians, skinks and eskimos, but even then, you would have a separate mouse in each chamber of the hourglass, which isn't the desired result :cry:

I still have doubts about the bonsai cats, Parko, but if it can happen to Chinese womens' feet, you could probably make cats with bonsai paws. If the bonsai feet indicate that we can indeed make bonsai cats, then it would follow that the bonsai cats indicatewe can also make bonsai Chinese people! Would they outprice chondros? We can hedge them like English pitcher plants


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## Blakos (Aug 25, 2005)

fanny wank


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## Deano (Aug 25, 2005)

Calm down Blakos???


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## Sdaji (Aug 25, 2005)

Wow, nice work on the post count, Blakos!  Impressive stuff! :lol: 

:roll:


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## Blakos (Aug 25, 2005)

**** off Sdaji.......


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## alexr (Aug 25, 2005)

Would bonsai cats chase bonsai mice?


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## Hickson (Aug 25, 2005)

smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge smudge


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## Brodie (Aug 25, 2005)

Bloody hell you crap on too much about yourself sdaji! Just shhh for a bit!


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