# Convincing a parent who will not allow a pet snake due to fear and prejudgement?



## OReilly (Apr 4, 2011)

Hey guys, I've spent months trying to talk my mum into allowing me to get a snake and I don't seem to be getting through to her... I can't even believe the "I only need to feed it once a week and i wouldn't require you to feed it like you have to feed the beardie when I'm away" didn't work. She's also a little scared of my beardie but manages to feed it when she remembers...

Enough about me. Out of your experience and expert opinions, how can i convince my mum that it's okay for me to have a snake and to trust me on this?


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## Eddie2257 (Apr 4, 2011)

well i just bring snakes home dont tell her im getting them and she has no choice lol i make sure i have already paid for them and already put them on my licence.


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## abnrmal91 (Apr 4, 2011)

What sort of snake are you trying to get. If its something small you would have a better chance convincing them.


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## Defective (Apr 4, 2011)

yeah, something like a stimmie.
i had a bit of convincing to do with mum when it came to getting my beardie but when she saw him she gushed over him and keeps trying to re-name him 'wizzard'


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## snakeluvver (Apr 4, 2011)

Get a childrens or stimsons python. Tell her that they are small and docile. You can keep it in your room so she never has to go near it and you only feed it once every 1-2 weeks.
Let her watch shows like steve irwin, that helped educate my mum from a typical snake hating queenslander to a snake respecter. Also take her to reptile parks and let her touch and hold snakes, get her comfortable with them. I did this with my mum and she let me get a snake


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## MathewB (Apr 4, 2011)

I over whelmed my parents with knowledge


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## OReilly (Apr 4, 2011)

Yea i was thinking of a stimmie or something like that. But i don't want an overgrown worm if you know what i mean? Like blonde macs. The real snake i'm after is a Woma, but they're fairly expensive and i doubt if i did get a snake a woma would be my first.

Yea, i think i'm just going to have to start small if at all.


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## Bez84 (Apr 4, 2011)

Build an enclosure that is cleverly concealed inside a wardrobe... lol


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## abnrmal91 (Apr 4, 2011)

You can just keep trying and convince them that you would be capable of looking after it properly. If you have beardie I would of thought they would have been pretty accepting. Just keep trying. Best of luck


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## feedthepanda2 (Apr 4, 2011)

I eased Mum into it. Got a Blue Tongue (her sister had a couple as pets back in the... 60s?), then another, then a Shingleback. Once my Cockatiel flew away, I told Mum that she held significant sentimental value and talked her into paying for half the cost of my BHP + setup (then again, beating Mum in an argument/convincing her of something is no biggy. In gaming terms, I'd put it at the same level of achievement as passing a speech check of 10 or 15. o_0)

She was a little uneasy at first (she still doesn't like the idea of a having a fully grown 8-12ft snake in the house in a few years time....) but after seeing this thing sleep in awkward positions/instantly fall asleep once put into peoples' laps and never strike... she snatches Shar outta my hands whenever I bring her out for wander, cradles her and starts talking to her like a small child. o_0 Seems that once she saw that she was in no danger of waking up halfway down the throat of this creature, she warmed up to her. =/

All I can really offer as advice is.. show her videos of chilled out snakes... even if you know anyone who has one already/have access to one in a petstore, take your Mum down there and show her it's not as horrible as she makes it out to be.... pretty much what others have already said.


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## snakeluvver (Apr 4, 2011)

Ask if you can have a legless lizard, if she says yes then get a snake and tell her its one


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## redlittlejim (Apr 4, 2011)

just get a hatchie and hide it in your closet for a while


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## noved (Apr 4, 2011)

you best shot is ti find a friend who has a childrens or something similar and beg him to let you borrow it for a few weeks then tell your mum that your friend is going away and is in desperate need of someone to baby sit it,if your mum changed when she saw a beardie she will be fine once she meets a python..........


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## guzzo (Apr 4, 2011)

snakeluvver said:


> Ask if you can have a legless lizard, if she says yes then get a snake and tell her its one



Haha wish I had thought of that when I was a kid.

You could try going alomg with her to the next pet expo


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## OReilly (Apr 4, 2011)

Thanks for the responses. I made another attempt earlier at trying to discuss the issue and she just kept shaking her head and saying nope.

When's the next expo? As far as i know there's the SOFAR expo but that's already been this year.


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## Banjo (Apr 4, 2011)

Maybe buy a couple of books and do some study on reptile husbandry to show you are keen and that it is not some passing fad. I know if my kids did this it would go a long way to showing me how interested and genuin they are.


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## Renenet (Apr 4, 2011)

Banjo said:


> Maybe buy a couple of books and do some study on reptile husbandry to show you are keen and that it is not some passing fad. I know if my kids did this it would go a long way to showing me how interested and genuin they are.



I second Banjo's idea. You could also do a poster or a book or something to demonstrate to your mum all the things you've learned. Add a few pictures of hatchies - sometimes they melt hearts. (And to that end, talk about babies, not hatchlings.)

Good luck.


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## Snakeluvver2 (Apr 5, 2011)

I just came home with snakes as a kid haha. 
Red bellies and whip snakes. 

But truly get her to watch a few shows on reptile education or if you can, get her to touch a python.


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## D3pro (Apr 5, 2011)

Release some rats in your house, then tell your parent the only way to get rid of them is by buying a snake


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## Joey (Apr 5, 2011)

D3pro said:


> Release some rats in your house, then tell your parent the only way to get rid of them is by buying a snake


 
youre an ideas man.

never had to deal with it personally as I bought my own place and now fill it up with animals, mum comes over freaks out and gets over it within 10mins.


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## Jeannine (Apr 5, 2011)

*sorry but if your living under your parents roof you have to do as they say, if you want a snake wait till you move out

bringing one home and telling her to suck it up will not win you any points, its very disrespectful to her* *

if my child did that i would contact the local national parks people and have them come and remove it whether you paid for it or not is irrelevant 

honestly how disrespectful are some of you to suggest he just buy one, bring it home and to hell with his mothers feelings*


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## Rattler (Apr 5, 2011)

Talk about it when your parents are in a good mood. Don't fight about it. Be respectful and patient.


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## feedthepanda2 (Apr 5, 2011)

I'd also recommend not harping on about it either. Always pushing at every chance can sometimes be more of a deterrant than a step closer (from my experience anyway).


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## dani_boy (Apr 5, 2011)

i just asked near my b'day and kept saying how im going to care for it to show i actually know how to care for it so yehhh


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## 666PYTHON (Apr 5, 2011)

my perants told me to get them haha easy hey just show her their not gunna hurt you and they are a great easy pet.


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## Tinky (Apr 5, 2011)

Jeannine said:


> *sorry but if your living under your parents roof you have to do as they say, if you want a snake wait till you move out
> 
> bringing one home and telling her to suck it up will not win you any points, its very disrespectful to her* *
> 
> ...




*1) Jeannie is right a parent’s uninformed decision should be the basis for you not getting anything you ask for until you move out of home. Parents are not reasonable people and cannot be negotiated with.*

*2) Tell your mum that as you cannot have a snake, you are going to spend the money that you had saved on a very large snake tattoo.*


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## saximus (Apr 5, 2011)

Jeannine said:


> *sorry but if your living under your parents roof you have to do as they say, if you want a snake wait till you move out
> 
> bringing one home and telling her to suck it up will not win you any points, its very disrespectful to her* *
> 
> ...


 I'm pretty sure national parks would not come and remove a pet that was purchased and documented legally. You are right though, it is a respect thing and the emphasis should be on education. Most people are afraid of them because of irrational fears that come about from lack of knowledge. I don't really know how to educate closed minded people like this though. When you find out make sure you let us know because you will have cracked a problem that has plagued the herp world for many years.
By the way when you do manage to convince her watch the change that occurs. My mum wasn't thrilled about it but now it's the first thing she shows people when they come over


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## Defective (Apr 5, 2011)

i'm still working on my mum, but i'm also 24 and i do with my dosh what i like, mum doesn't want a snake....tough titties coz its happening i'm very respectful towards her..but shes a bush kid from iron knob and i'll etch away until i break through.


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## Torah (Apr 5, 2011)

Well when I wanted my tounge peirced I asked for a tattoo for months and then when I finally said " well fine if I cant have a tattoo can I get y tounge peirced" they were like "OH GOD YES IL TAKE YOU , NOW !" lol 

So maybe try asking for a salty for afew months and then c how you go asking for a small python lmfao .... Good Luck


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## Sezzzzzzzzz (Apr 5, 2011)

Torah said:


> Well when I wanted my tounge peirced I asked for a tattoo for months and then when I finally said " well fine if I cant have a tattoo can I get y tounge peirced" they were like "OH GOD YES IL TAKE YOU , NOW !" lol
> 
> So maybe try asking for a salty for afew months and then c how you go asking for a small python lmfao .... Good Luck


 
bahahahaha too funny. must admit when i was 15 i went and got 3 tatts and then came home and showed mum. she freaked rang the tattooist up and told him i was underage and was told that she should know where her kids are then! lol

i do agree with torahs plan though!! and the one about borrowing a friends snake so that they can get used to it.


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## MChaz (Apr 5, 2011)

Ok if you wanna convince your mum I suggest:
- show you have enough responsibility to handle a snake as a pet (although honestly theyre not as hard as some other animals!)
- show youve done your research. regularly tell her some interesting facts that youve found (especially if its about a particular species that you want)
- without badgering her, tell her that after the initial cost (enclosure, heating etc) that it is a very clean and cheap animal to keep.
- remind her that it is NON-VENOMOUS.
- get hands on experience from friends that have snakes... take your mum with you and show her how confident you are in handling.
- i'm guessing shes also worried about it getting out. show her the enclosures and how safe they are.

My mum didn't need much convincing, as we had a friend who bred snakes, then my cousin bought a jungle and then his brother bought an albino darwin so I had handled all that and I knew what kind of responsibility it was and I researched heaps and went to reptile shops frequently. My mum actually said 'get a snake, but dont you dare being home a frog'. LOL what kind of logic is that?!


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## Bluetongue1 (Apr 5, 2011)

Has she given you the exact reasons why? If I is a fear of snakes then you need to do work on that first. See if you locate some good video footage, like Steve I as suggested. Something with young kids handling pythons would be great. Then step it up to looking at the real thing behind glass. Maybe a friend’s collection she can go with you to see. Once she can cope with that, you handling a small python in her presence. 

It is important to take it one step at a time and not rush it. Make certain she is comfortable with what she is seeing BEFORE you step it up to the next level. You probably also need to earn some extra brownie points by helping out around the house or yard. That way you have a lot more leverage when you ask her to look at something with you. You’ve done tour bit for her and now you are simply asking her to return the favour. This has the added advantage that she can SEE how much it means to you if you are prepared to put in some genuine hard work and time to get what you want. 

If I was to recommend the ideal first snake, you couldn’t go past a woma. Once you get their feeing response worked out and realise they are total gluttons, so you only feed them what you want and not what they want, magic! The most laid back, easy to handle, non-aggressive of pythons. They do get to 2 m so you do have to have enough space for that cage. Stimmies are a great first snake as well. Easy to handle and feed, although some hatchlings take a while to get started but once they do they are good. Lots of character and grow to just short of a metre, so readily housed inside. Over-sized worms they most definitely are not!
Blue


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## Jeannine (Apr 5, 2011)

*you might be 24 but its HER house, HER rules and if you dont like them maybe its time for you to save up and move out then you can do what you want when you want

if you want to be treated like an adult then act like one

telling your mother her fears are stupid and you will bring a snake into HER home knowing she does NOT like them is the act of a spoilt brat who needs reminding who exactly pays the rent/mortgage where you live

if you were my son and turned up with a snake it and you would be out in the front yard looking for a new place to live

what a rude and disrespectful CHILD you are, showing her video's of snakes, getting her reading material is treating her like the child and your trying to bend her to YOUR rules, some of us just dont like snakes its a fact of life and we dont have to GET OVER IT, you have to accept it 

i dont like snakes but i still allowed my son to have one at one stage, hell i even fed the damn thing rats but that was MY decision, like it or not your mother does not like them so stop trying to push your needs onto her 
*


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## richoman_3 (Apr 5, 2011)

good luck mate ive only been trying for 3 years 
and ofcourse im allowed to own huge pedes and T's LOL


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## saximus (Apr 5, 2011)

Jeannine said:


> *you might be 24 but its HER house, HER rules and if you dont like them maybe its time for you to save up and move out then you can do what you want when you want
> 
> if you want to be treated like an adult then act like one
> 
> ...


 
Wow


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## Defective (Apr 5, 2011)

Jeannine said:


> *you might be 24 but its HER house, HER rules and if you dont like them maybe its time for you to save up and move out then you can do what you want when you wantactually its not HER house, we rent and don't tell me i should move out when you know nothing further than what i've said.
> 
> if you want to be treated like an adult then act like one he's asking her isn't he?
> 
> ...


 its not a need its a want. *Facepalm*



saximus said:


> Wow


 
no kidding hey


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## Asharee133 (Apr 5, 2011)

i think she needs a hug and a piece of chocolate lol


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## KaotikJezta (Apr 5, 2011)

Asharee133 said:


> i think she needs a hug and a piece of chocolate lol


I'll let you all have whatever critters you want for chocolate, lol


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## Asharee133 (Apr 5, 2011)

kaotikjezta said:


> I'll let you all have whatever critters you want for chocolate, lol


 can i have a woma  and a hug too?? LMAO.


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## KaotikJezta (Apr 5, 2011)

Asharee133 said:


> can i have a woma  and a hug too?? LMAO.


For sure if you've got chocolate, don't laugh I played dead in a morgue tray at an abandoned asylum for lollies and chocolate and I was even going to let her shave my head so I looked like a total nutter.


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## Jazzz (Apr 6, 2011)

Jeannine said:


> *you might be 24 but its HER house, HER rules and if you dont like them maybe its time for you to save up and move out then you can do what you want when you want
> 
> if you want to be treated like an adult then act like one
> 
> ...


 
why are you posting on a reptile forum then? no need to push your opinions on others. Showing her videos and other snakes isnt treating her like a child its educating her and trying to stop her fear. At the end of the day she would know a little more useful knowledge and maybe even find a new love =] wishful thinking...


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## feedthepanda2 (Apr 6, 2011)

^ +1. 

The amount of times I've had people tell me they're over their fear of snakes after meeting mine... I've lost count. Sometimes a little basic info and proof that I haven't yet been digested is all someone needs to realise they really aren't that bad afterall.


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## MChaz (Apr 6, 2011)

No one said her fears are 'stupid' and no one said shes being 'treated like a child'. 
I'm sure you're on this forum to get advice for yourself and your child about keeping reptiles, but as jazzv is right, there is no need to push opinions onto others... If you were totally against them you wouldn't let your child have one.
He is getting her reading material to help educate her about reptiles not to belittle her in any way; and even if she still doesnt allow him to get one, at least she will have a real reason as to why if she has done some reading about it. 
He's just looking for some help, not to help himself but also to help others. I think he asked a very valid question and I'm sure there are plenty of people... not just CHILDREN (as you so rudely pointed out) who need advice when it comes to helping people understand reptiles.
Please act like the adult you are and not criticize him, but present your point of view in a way that no one will think you're just being a hater. He asked for HELP, not to be hated on.

Phew, /end rant.


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## Snakeluvver2 (Apr 6, 2011)

Jesus christ it's a freaking python. 
Get over it Jeannine. It's not likes she's bringing a hooker home.


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## saximus (Apr 6, 2011)

Hahaha you're a funny guy Jannico


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## Snakeluvver2 (Apr 6, 2011)

People over react on this site way too much.
Such a disrespectful child, that's pigsbut.
Calling your mom a ***** or stealing her money is disrespectful. 
I bet most of the people on this website have brought home snakes from the wild as kids numerous times.


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## saximus (Apr 6, 2011)

I would also say that running your household like a unilateral dictatorship is being a disrespectful parent. Giving birth to someone doesn't give you the right to run the house like your own little North Korea. This is especially true in situations like this where some simple education is likely all that is required to change an outdated, unfounded opinion. But hey I'm just a disrespectful kid who has a mother who was willing to allow me some say about the rules of the house. So maybe I'm not qualified to speak about such things


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## Southern_Forest_Drag (Apr 6, 2011)

saximus said:


> I would also say that running your household like a unilateral dictatorship is being a disrespectful parent. Giving birth to someone doesn't give you the right to run the house like your own little North Korea. This is especially true in situations like this where some simple education is likely all that is required to change an outdated, unfounded opinion. But hey I'm just a disrespectful kid who has a mother who was willing to allow me some say about the rules of the house. So maybe I'm not qualified to speak about such things


 
Not sure i could of said that better myself.


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## Indysmum (Apr 6, 2011)

Tinky said:


> *1) Jeannie is right a parent’s uninformed decision should be the basis for you not getting anything you ask for until you move out of home. Parents are not reasonable people and cannot be negotiated with.*
> 
> *2) Tell your mum that as you cannot have a snake, you are going to spend the money that you had saved on a very large snake tattoo.*



Oh boy! Great advise, NOT!
I read further down that you are 24. Had to change my reply as I was geared for younger age lol
OK, 24, you are an adult, wheather it be your own mother you live with or a housemate, have landlord or whatever...if the rule is no snakes, thats final. No nagging, no amount of arguing should change this. When you have your own place, you can decide the rules. Harsh are I may sound, thats the reality of life.
Id say in this situation, any persistance to 'change her mind' will only add fuel to any family fued at home. Really not worth it is it?
Best luck.


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## Snakeluvver2 (Apr 6, 2011)

If the world was like that. I would be working full time, going to uni for med on the Deans scholarship, got an OP 1, wouldn't have snakes or a girlfriend, wouldn't travel, wouldn't have taken a gap year, wouldn't of changed schools, would be in the national basketball team, probably be buff and have no friends the list would go on and on. 

You can argue with your parents just back it up with something other than "that's unfair" or "I hate you, you never let me do anything" 

I argued for a bit, got a snake and now I have a room full of them and have a shed for my reptile dreams. 
Mate all i can say is go nuts trying to convince them. Just do it smart.


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## saximus (Apr 6, 2011)

Since when is reasonable discussion and education equivalent to nagging and arguing?? I am so happy that I have a mother who isn't like you two. If I wasn't allowed to have/do something it was ok for me to ask why because it led to discussion about the reasons for her decisions. This allowed me to grow up with an understanding of reasoned decision making instead of unalterable closed-mindedness. Your strict "my house, my rules" policy has more implications than you may think and, in my opinion, in the 21st century it is an outdated way to raise children


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## dihsmaj (Apr 6, 2011)

saximus said:


> If I wasn't allowed to have/do something it was ok for me to ask why because it led to discussion about the reasons for her decisions.


My mum's answer to 'why can't I have a snake?':
BECAUSE!! GO AWAY, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT NOW!
My dad's answer to 'why can't I have a snake?':
You can have one in December when you have the money, and also, we have too many pets right now... finally, you just got an animal 2 months ago.


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## Jazzz (Apr 6, 2011)

saximus said:


> Since when is reasonable discussion and education equivalent to nagging and arguing?? I am so happy that I have a mother who isn't like you two. If I wasn't allowed to have/do something it was ok for me to ask why because it led to discussion about the reasons for her decisions. This allowed me to grow up with an understanding of reasoned decision making instead of unalterable closed-mindedness. Your strict "my house, my rules" policy has more implications than you may think and, in my opinion, in the 21st century it is an outdated way to raise children



yeah i agree. My dad would just say no until one day we finally had a discussion about it and everything he was worried about i had a good answer how to fix (id done a heap of research). With him it wasnt a fear issue though... and after more 'discussing' i now have control over the spare room of the house =D


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## KaotikJezta (Apr 6, 2011)

saximus said:


> Since when is reasonable discussion and education equivalent to nagging and arguing?? I am so happy that I have a mother who isn't like you two. If I wasn't allowed to have/do something it was ok for me to ask why because it led to discussion about the reasons for her decisions. This allowed me to grow up with an understanding of reasoned decision making instead of unalterable closed-mindedness. Your strict "my house, my rules" policy has more implications than you may think and, in my opinion, in the 21st century it is an outdated way to raise children


I had a mother like those two so I am pretty easy going with my own kids, if they can back up there reason for wanting something with facts and a good reason, I will allow it, or if they buy me chocolate and make me coffee to go with it, bribery gets you everywhere:lol:


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## Mace699 (Apr 6, 2011)

Hey mate good luck i had renewed my reptile licence twice when i was younger but was never allowed anything, My feelings are if they don't want you to have anything and its there house there is not alot you can do... i had to wait till i moved out you may have to do the same.


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## Jazzz (Apr 6, 2011)

kaotikjezta said:


> I had a mother like those two so I am pretty easy going with my own kids, if they can back up there reason for wanting something with facts and a good reason, I will allow it, or if they buy me chocolate and make me coffee to go with it, bribery gets you everywhere:lol:



haha thats awesome! sounds like my mum =] 

although its chocolate, coffee and cleaning as well...


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## KaotikJezta (Apr 6, 2011)

jazzv said:


> haha thats awesome! sounds like my mum =]
> 
> although its chocolate, coffee and cleaning as well...


I know cleaning would be pushing it, haha


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## shellfisch (Apr 6, 2011)

My son was 11 when he asked for a snake.

After I picked my jaw up off the floor, he impressed me with his research and knowledge, and we went off to find one 

At 15, he still impresses me with his knowledge and responsibility for his animals. We have about 25 snakes and a few Knobbies now. He has met (and introduced me to) a lot of terrific people through this hobby.

I would hate to think what we would have missed out on, if I'd had a closed mind and just said no.


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## Jazzz (Apr 6, 2011)

kaotikjezta said:


> I know cleaning would be pushing it, haha


 
haha yeah thats how she knows were really serious


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## MChaz (Apr 6, 2011)

Jannico uses great words of wisdom. If we didn't question things and if we just took 'no' for an answer everytime, we would be back to the 1950s where kids and women had no say in ANYTHING.
We aren't in the 1950s anymore! We're ALLOWED to question things without getting a slap on the cheek... It's called learning and life experience!
It's not called nagging or being disrespectful. I think if you turn your back on your child when they're just trying to learn then THAT is disrespectful.

I think these parents that are SO close-minded need to open their eyes... where are they going to go in life?! They're going to end up a hermit with no friends and no life, because they can't accept change and accept others.

Man I need to get off this thread before a mod kicks me off for ranting on


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## Asharee133 (Apr 6, 2011)

kaotikjezta said:


> For sure if you've got chocolate, don't laugh I played dead in a morgue tray at an abandoned asylum for lollies and chocolate and I was even going to let her shave my head so I looked like a total nutter.


 LMAOOO!!! can you be my new best friend?? ROFL


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## Indysmum (Apr 6, 2011)

saximus said:


> Since when is reasonable discussion and education equivalent to nagging and arguing?? I am so happy that I have a mother who isn't like you two. If I wasn't allowed to have/do something it was ok for me to ask why because it led to discussion about the reasons for her decisions. This allowed me to grow up with an understanding of reasoned decision making instead of unalterable closed-mindedness. Your strict "my house, my rules" policy has more implications than you may think and, in my opinion, in the 21st century it is an outdated way to raise children



HE IS A 24 YEAR OLD ADULT!! perhaps you missed this part? I had typed a reply to this 'young kid' then saw age. My advice was totally different, as I feel its another ballgame when its adult children living at home. By this age hes no longer being 'raised', sure for your whole life you have guidance...but were not talking about a little boy, were talking about a grown MAN. 
Im sure he wouldnt go and rip down walls without her/ or a landlords permission either >.<
If every time someone didnt agree, you worked them down until they submitted, thats true childish behaviour right there. At some point most of us grow up and have an adult/adult relationship rather than adult/child with our own parents.
Again, best luck.


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## gandal88 (Apr 6, 2011)

just rock up with a snake i did that with my wife and she flipped but now she is cool with it and holds it and stuff lol so funny watching ppl come around =)


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## snakeluvver (Apr 6, 2011)

Wow, I guess we know the Nazi Mums on this forum then.


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## Indysmum (Apr 7, 2011)

gandal88 said:


> just rock up with a snake i did that with my wife and she flipped but now she is cool with it and holds it and stuff lol so funny watching ppl come around =)


lucky she came around lol My dad did that with buying a house without mum knowing!
geez you men like playing with fire! lol
I can bring home new pets without saying, my man would take days to even notice them lol


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## snakeluvver (Apr 7, 2011)

Jeannie, when you said your child had a snake you said you "fed the damn thing rats" 
You're a member on this reptile forum, you'd think that being on here has educated you so that you like them now, or at least not refer to them as "damn things"


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## saximus (Apr 7, 2011)

Indysmum said:


> HE IS A 24 YEAR OLD ADULT!! perhaps you missed this part?


 Thanks for the reminder but I hadn't missed that part. This is all the more reason for scrapping the ridiculous "my house, my rules" notion in lieu of intelligent discussion.


Indysmum said:


> I can bring home new pets without saying, my man would take days to even notice them lol


 So obviously your man isn't part of the Gaddafi style rule making process in your house? Are you saying it's ok for you to do something like this without consulting other members of the household but not for the rest of the people on the forum?


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## abnrmal91 (Apr 7, 2011)

jazzv said:


> yeah i agree. My dad would just say no until one day we finally had a discussion about it and everything he was worried about i had a good answer how to fix (id done a heap of research). With him it wasnt a fear issue though... and after more 'discussing' i now have control over the spare room of the house =D



My parents were cool with me getting snakes, but the tricky bit was convincing them to let use the upstairs lounge. It's now full of snakes.


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## Jazzz (Apr 7, 2011)

abnrmal91 said:


> My parents were cool with me getting snakes, but the tricky bit was convincing them to let use the upstairs lounge. It's now full of snakes.



haha yeah my dad was just looking to put something in the spare room, because its completely empty, and i suggested snakes. Some people are just so much easier to convince then others... i got lucky =]


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## Manda1032 (Apr 7, 2011)

Don't just go out and buy a snake. Take her along to your nearest Herp club meeting. Go and talk to other breeders and keepers together. When she finds someone she can talk to and trust ask if you could get together and meet one of their snakes. I loved going to herp displays with the NQHS, with one of my snakes being bomb proof he helped a lot of people overcome their fears of snakes. You need to prove to be grown up and trustworthy, just bringing a snake home wont make that happen. If research and meeting and greeting don't work just wait til you start either paying rent, turn 18 or leave home cause then she can't stop you.


PS Hi Mum


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## Defective (Apr 7, 2011)

lol, get a job and once you have one just get one. i just got a job and said...'i'm getting a snake when i have saved up' got no objection.


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## Jeannine (Apr 7, 2011)

*i am sorry and no disrespect to those who do like that but i HATE them, you might call it an irrational fear, you might call me other names but NO amount of education, seeing video's, having things stuffed down my throat will change the way i feel 

i dont care if this person is 24 saying 'ill have a snake and i dont care about my mothers fear of them' IS carrying on like a disrespectful child and having other adults telling them to go out and buy one and stuff his mothers feelings is encouraging disrespect and it will NOT win them any points with a parent

you know WE ARE allowed to dislike snakes as much as some of you are allowed to like them and i wont knock anyone for that but i do know how his mother feels

your all dismissing his mother and her feelings as if they dont matter based on your own acceptance of snakes

* *http://www.aussiepythons.com/forum/member/snakeluvver-25864/snakeluvver simple answer to your question? NO being a member here has NOT changed my mind, i avoid the snake section though i have sometimes glanced at pictures and ill be the first to admit some of them are gorgeous colours but it has NOT changed my views on them in general...........i really dislike them and you will NEVER change that fear and i have NO desire to even so much as touch one even if my own life depended on it, telling me snakes are cool wont work they can and DO kill people and no amount of education will change that view, my son had a carpet python and the entire time it was under my roof i did NOT change my views on them 

if this person wants snakes then they should save up, move out, pay their own bills then they can do whatever the hell they want, have as many snakes as they want without having to answer to anyone but themselves and maybe their landlords, you also have to remember landlords might NOT allow 'pets' of any kind including reptiles and that is a landlords right as well, what will they do if a landlord says 'no'? to hell with it and do what they want anyway? they have two choices accept their mothers rules or move out

fears are usually based on some irrational thought process but they are OUR fears like it or not and we ARE allowed to have them without being ridiculed or having our fears dismissed as unimportant and being told to 'get over it, ill do whatever the hell i want' 

we will have to agree to disagree on this, keep telling this person they can do what they want and disrespect their mother, i wont come back 
*


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## snakeluvver (Apr 7, 2011)

Jeannie do you think you have a fear or a phobia? Because if it was a fear you'd probably be over it by now, it could be a phobia.


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## saximus (Apr 7, 2011)

Phobias are curable, it's been proven. Jeannine a spotted python has never killed a person. Ever. So that argument is entirely invalid. I think you are also missing the point. Attempting to have a conversation and provide education is not disrespectful in any way. I agree that coming home with one and not telling them is not the right way to go but I see no problem with trying to have a reasonable discussion about it. 
*"...keep telling this person they can do what they want and disrespect their mother, i wont come back"
*This sort of attitude is exactly the tantrum throwing, childish attitude you yourself are saying you're against. Once again I will say, I think your view of "my house, my rules, no further discussion" is in itself disrespectful.


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## malachi51 (Apr 7, 2011)

if you have had a reasonable conversation with your mum about it, and she has still said no, then you need to respect her decision and move out first. While I think education can be a good thing, it could very well have the opposite effect than you want.

If you're 24 years old why are you still living at home anyway? You obviously have money coming in (if you can afford to buy a snake) so why not save up, move out and then you can do whatever you want.

My hubby doesn't want me to get a snake either, but we're in this relationship equally, we've had plenty of discussions about it, and as long as he doesn't have to do anything for the snake then he's ok with it. If he was scared of snakes that might be a different story. My 5 year old would love a green tree frog, but hubby has some weird fear of frogs (something that was caused by a childhood fright) so a frog is off the agenda. my son will just have to deal with that, it's not like we're stopping him from having any pets, there are more animals in our house than humans.

If the mum was allergic would you all still keep telling him just to get one and bring it home? If you lived with someone that had a really bad allergy to cats would you just say "well screw them, I'm an adult, I'll do what I want" and bring home a kitten? That's very disrespectful, regardless of who the other person is, be it parent, housemate, sibling or child. A lot of fears and phobias seem unusual (like my hubby's fear of frogs) but that doesn't make them any less a human deserving of our respect. And yes, respect goes both ways, I'm sure it was hard for her to agree to let you have a lizard, but she respected that you like them and wanted one, now you need to respect that she's not comfortable with having a snake in the house. If you can't respect that, then move out.

I'm not saying don't educate her about snakes, but do it the right way, and don't be offended and rude if it doesn't go your way.


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## saximus (Apr 7, 2011)

The OP never mentioned being 24. That was another poster. What is wrong with still being home at that age? I was 23 when I bought my first house.
There is virtually nothing to be allergic of with snakes so that is not a valid possibility. The fact is we gave advice that answered the OPs question while the Nazi mothers all went off saying we are all disrespectful and evil children while not providing any sensible answers to the questions. If the mother says no after providing rational reasons then that will be it but I see no harm in trying to discuss it before closing the topic away forever. All I can say is God help all of your children when they first ask for something you don't want them to have


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## malachi51 (Apr 7, 2011)

sorry, my bad. I read the first page a few days ago, only read the last few today and there was a few comments about him being 24.
Nothing wrong with still being at home, I moved home again for 18 months after having moved out years earlier, with a baby in tow.
my point with asking why still be at home was if they're so determined to get a snake against mum's wishes then why not just move out in order to do so.

I also realise that there is virtually nothing to be allergic of with snakes, but it's the same respect wise IMO.
I'm not being a nazi mother, but a LOT of the posts suggested just bringing one home, or telling her she has no choice, or hiding it in the cupboard, all very disrespectful things, and would you suggest that if they were talking about a cat and their mum was allergic??? How is going against her wishes sensible advice??

I agreed with the educating her, and didn't say don't discuss it, but if that has already been done with no results, then it's not fair on her to keep on going!
A lot of fears are irrational, but that doesn't make them any less real to the person who experiences them, and yes, a lot can be treated, but is he offering to pay for all of that for his mum?

And I say no to my child quite often, that doesn't make me a nazi parent, it means my child has boundaries and he knows where he stands. If I always said yes to him he would eat chocolate and donuts for dinner every night. I'm sure most people would consider me to be a worse parent for letting him eat that than saying no he can't have a pet frog because his Dad is terrified of them. It's not a never to a frog, it just means he has to wait till he's an adult and no longer lives with us, same as when he's an adult and I am no longer cooking his meals then he can eat whatever he likes too.

Another thought, what are the licence requirements for a snake? Is the licence in his name, or his mum's because he's under 18? Shouldn't that also play a part? If he is too young to hold a licence in his own name for a snake why should his mum hold the licence for him? Not sure what state the OP is in.

but seriously, is it really going to kill him to wait till he moves out to get a snake? It's not like she has said she will disown him if he ever owns a snake, he just can't have one while living with her. That's what, a few years? depending on how old he is? why is that an issue? I have been waiting 6 years to get a snake, and I'm an adult with children, yes it's a long wait, but I'd rather wait and do things properly than rush it in my impatience to have what I want.

OMG I just asked my son what he wanted for dinner, his reply was carrots, cucumber and green trees (broccoli)
Does that make me a bad nazi parent??? LOL


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## feedthepanda2 (Apr 7, 2011)

Jeannine said:


> *if this person wants snakes then they should save up, move out, pay their own bills then they can do whatever the hell they want, have as many snakes as they want without having to answer to anyone but themselves and maybe their landlords, you also have to remember landlords might NOT allow 'pets' of any kind including reptiles and that is a landlords right as well, what will they do if a landlord says 'no'? to hell with it and do what they want anyway? they have two choices accept their mothers rules or move out*


 
We have a "no pets allowed" rule in the place we're currently renting, yet our landlord as well as the real estate agent knows all about the four reptiles. The reason they're fine with it is because they have never escaped, caused damage to the property or the garden, make no noise that disturbs the neighbours/neighbourhood and don't attract local pests. They seem fine with anything that's in a tank (because, let's face it... a landlord that kicks out a tennant for having a goldfish seems a little extreme).

Correct me if I'm wrong, because I have a terrible memory (and don't really want to read 5 pages of posts to find it), but was there a mention of the mother having a phobia as bad as yours seems to be? Because I've stated before in a post here that I eased Mum into the whole snake thing, by being "childish" and educating her. She didn't know a lot and thought we had enough pets as it was at the time, and those were her reasons against having a snake until my bird flew away. Not phobia. The only thing she's worried about at the moment is the snake becoming fully grown, but I have a feeling she won't notice her steady growth until photo comparisons are shown. So not every parent who says "no" to a snake, reptile, amphibian or other animal has a fear/phobia of it. If the parents haven't given their son/daughter a reason and have just said "no", it's probably worth finding out so they can work through it, or wait until a certain point in time has passed that will possibly allow it, like with my case.

Edit: Also, no disrespect meant, but if my mother was as strict as you when it came to questioning an answer/reason/decision, I'd probably *want* to move out to get away from the lack of freedom. I'd be living with a friend or family member though, because even though I saved up to afford a snake+set-up (which Mum and I went halves in as a birthday present for me, and which was also on layby for months on end), I couldn't afford to pay current rent prices, bills, etc. when I only get $380 a fortnight. Telling your kid to hit the road if they "disrespect" you when they clearly can't afford it/have yet to find a place to stay is one of the worst things anyone could do to their child, especially when it's over one pet. Just my two cents.


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## Red-Ink (Apr 7, 2011)

I'm going to have to side on the mums on this one for no other reason than i have very little tolerance for two legged talking neonates, hatchlings and juvies. One reason I would never breed them myself. Some of the hatchlings reasoning well...... just seems like an American telling the Australian government to let him keep taipans exported from Australia cause "he want's one", just would not take NO for an answer lol.


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## saximus (Apr 7, 2011)

But Red think about the economy! 
If you don't mind me asking a personal question do you have another half? If so how does she feel about your decision not to breed? I only ask because I'm at a point where this will be...problematic. PM if you'd prefer, or don't answer at all if it's too personal


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## Red-Ink (Apr 7, 2011)

The wife's fine with it mate we got plenty of "kids" and the best bit is they don't talk back and i can leave them locked in all day and no one complains.. most don't even have hands (or legs for that matter) to destroy stuff... those are the ones that people don't want to babysit lol.


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## Defective (Apr 7, 2011)

Jeannine said:


> *i am sorry and no disrespect to those who do like that but i HATE them, you might call it an irrational fear, you might call me other names but NO amount of education, seeing video's, having things stuffed down my throat will change the way i feel
> 
> i dont care if this person is 24 saying 'ill have a snake and i dont care about my mothers fear of them' IS carrying on like a disrespectful child and having other adults telling them to go out and buy one and stuff his mothers feelings is encouraging disrespect and it will NOT win them any points with a parent *facepalm* the kid is not 24 I AM!!!! an i'll have you know i treat my mother with absolute respect so don't go calling me a child when you yourself are acting like one. and i have damn good reasons why i can't leave home!!!
> 
> ...


 your perogative on that one but don't keep giving the poor bloke such a hard time and calling me a disrespectful child when i'm capable of providing all the needs for a snake and my mother doesn't have to set eyes on it!!!


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## kawasakirider (Apr 8, 2011)

I'd bet a grand that the majority of children that ask for mammals as pets get knocked back the first few times, also. Nothing wrong with trying to pursuade someone, there's nothing disrespectful about it, if it is done the right way. My mother didn't want me taking up motocross when I was younger. Some mothers don't want their sons playing football. Some mothers expect their children to take no for an answer and never question anything ever again.

When you're an adult and you want something, desire is strong. When you're a kid and you want something, being told "no" is the most devastating thing that can happen, especially if there's no decent explanation. It's only natural for his desire for a snake to become stronger and there's nothing wrong with asking for one if he isn't cornering his mother and abusing her.

Nazi mums on reptile forums ftmfl.


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## hurcorh (Apr 8, 2011)

dont know if it has been said but take her somewhere she can safely be introduced into different kinds of snakes and even handle them. after that should be easier!


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## kawasakirider (Apr 8, 2011)

Trap her in a locked room with a savage animal, and then a locked room with the type of python you want to keep. Always works for me.


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## thedee (Apr 8, 2011)

From my perspective (I'm in my 20s and also living at home for the time being), both sides of the equation are valid.

By all means, try to convince your mother to allow you to have a snake. Educate her, take her to a pet shop or breeder if she's willing to go, buy a couple of books on keeping pythons. Mike Swan's "Keeping and Breeding Australian Pythons" is a fantastic book, for example. Don't overload her with information or continually harp at the subject, but let her know that it's important to you and you're committed to responsible snake ownership.

However, you also have to respect her right to live in an environment where she is comfortable and feels safe, both physically and emotionally. It's not an ideal environment for her if she has a genuine phobia of snakes and a child who's trying to convince her to have one.

That said, you may be able to come to some form of compromise - she may be willing to allow you to have a snake as long as you keep it in your room and don't feed it and/or take it out of its enclosure while she's present.


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## Bluetongue1 (Apr 8, 2011)

Let’s cut to the chase...

Firstly, you will NOT CONVINCE a woman, especially your mum, to do something she does not want to. So you can throw that notion out the window. She has to want to do it first and that’s your task!

You say you have been trying for three months. What does that mean? If you have been nagging your mum for three months, then you’ve been pushing your barrow backwards. Good parenting would dictate the appropriate response to “I want! I want! I want!” is a good kick up the bum, a resounding “NO!” and a strengthening of resolve. 

At the same time, good parenting recognises and rewards positive behaviours. There are no guarantees but you need to work hard at deserving a snake – whatever that takes. 

You can also work on helping your mum over her fear of snakes, at least to some degree. There’s plenty of good advice already posted. Just need to ignore the flame throwers, the anarchists and the would-be comics. 
Blue


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## Indysmum (Apr 9, 2011)

Hope I didnt start this whole arguement, I thought the person started thread asking for advice had later said they were 24. My advice to a teenager or younger kids obviously wouldnt be the same for an adult asking same question. 
Wheather 4,14, 24, 94..I wouldnt recommend getting a pet without those you live with agreeing. Just imagine grampa smuggling snakes into the nursing home >.<.
As much as we love our pets, not everyone shares our passion and they dont have to! Ive already advised to be respectful and understanding but apparently that was too 'nazi' for some lol So hey, try throw a tantrum...see how that works  (and yes Im joking, dont do that!) 
Sometimes 'NO!" is heard as 'ask me 1000 more times', Im sure you can imagine how annoying that would become >.<. It sounds like your dad gave you a reason, might not be reasons you agree with...but its actually a good start! Now there is actually a dialogue atleast, it beats just a 'NO!".
Keep in mind however, they may never change their mind about keeping a snake. BUT do not panic, this just means not NOW, not NEVER. Even if you have to wait until you have your own place.
Most importantly!!! How in hell did this thread get 6 pages!!! lol


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## Defective (Apr 9, 2011)

thedee said:


> That said, you may be able to come to some form of compromise - she may be willing to allow you to have a snake as long as you keep it in your room and don't feed it and/or take it out of its enclosure while she's present.


 
this is how im going to be allowed to have a snake, it stays in my room, and is never brought out will mum and my sister are home, unless im in my room with the door closed.


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## syeph8 (Apr 9, 2011)

Lambert said:


> this is how im going to be allowed to have a snake, it stays in my room, and is never brought out will mum and my sister are home, unless im in my room with the door closed.


 
I have a massive fear of spiders that would put most peoples fears to shame but I would still allow my child to keep a pet spider/scorpion under these conditions. Just because I am afraid of something doesn't mean that my child shouldn't be allowed to learn about them and enjoy them and learn some responsibility whilst caring for them. I would definitely be nervous at first and rules would be put in place.. very strict rules. But being a parent is about nurturing your childrens interests and growth with boundaries to keep THEM feeling secure.. Not to crush their interests and create boundaries to avoid personal growth and facing things that you just don't want to. Just putting my opinion out there


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## Defective (Apr 9, 2011)

i would only buy my kid a snake if they could prove to me that they can look after it and that they will be solely responsible. if my kid at 10yrs old said to me 'mum, can i have a snake please?' i would say 'yes you can but prove to me first you know how to look after it.' if they were that passionate then they would save money and be able to buy the snake themselves (just the snake). im a firm believer that if a child wants something they have to buy it themselves as they'll appreciate it more. christmas and birthday presents would be helping provide a safe environment and because i would have owned a snake myself (not yet but am getting one) i would know its needs. 

i would never want to crush my kids interests, they wanna play soccer but then find they don't like it, i'll let them quit (martial arts is an exception...its for life; how you live and how you treat others is learnt through martial arts.) this might be a weird parenting style but ohh well. i cant have kids so the rest of the world need fear.


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## elogov (Apr 9, 2011)

Eh i just brought mine home had it sitting in my room for 2 days before she found the AAE package that said "HARMLESS REPTILE", i don't recommend this but i wasn't getting far with my parents either haha.


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## hrafna (Apr 9, 2011)

prove to your parents that this won't be a passing phase. do your research and show your knowledge. at the end of the day if mum says no, then answer is no! it won't hurt you having to wait til you move out to get one.


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## ToadCountry (Apr 10, 2011)

Jeannine....why the enormously stressful (for you) unprovoked comments to someone you don't even know?
Not putting my hand up anytime soon for you to be my mum !! ((I"m 46 by the way))

You sound like a very angry woman. Why tell the world about your anger? 

Most of us hop on here to chill out, smile at others stories, look at some pics of beautiful snakes, marvel at others set-ups, get advice, give advice where we can, and to above all, LEARN from each other - we all have something to share within this wonderful hobby.

IF YOU ARE THAT FREAKED by snakes, please PLEASE p.l.e.a.s.e. do the rest of us a favour and stay away from this part of the forum.

I personally dislike the way you conduct yourself, and your attitude towards "children" - I know the written word can be harsh, however you sound like a complete fruit loop - what sort of a mother would throw her kid out over a snake? 
Us parents are the "caretakers" of our kids only for a little while - why can't they have their own ideas, and interests? 

I hope your kids are well adjusted and happy in their lives, despite the views you have. 
I would feel like I was a disgrace to my kids if I said the things you have said. Terrible Stuff. 

And to the OP - get your mum to read this topic you started LOL.....will be the best education anyone could want.


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## mje772003 (Apr 10, 2011)

Hope this helps 10 Reasons To Get A Pet Snake Heat-Pits: Pet Reptile Breeder


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## shellfisch (Apr 10, 2011)

mje772003 said:


> Hope this helps 10 Reasons To Get A Pet Snake Heat-Pits: Pet Reptile Breeder



I like it


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## mje772003 (Apr 10, 2011)

yea before i joined this site i found it when doing some research


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## Childrens (Apr 10, 2011)

Pay for EVERYTHING yourself, we had a family rule - when you turn 8 you will be bought a pet (which ended up being 11 for myself as the right pet was not found until then). I was told at 12 when I had been researching, saving and taken a few classes on handling reptiles etc. That I could get it, so off the the nearest breeder. As soon as I received the licence, we got it. One of my younger brothers is now 14, he wanted some lizards. The same rule has applied and he has his lizards. If your parents are not out of pocket for it, and you have shown enough interest to save up the few hundred dollars, and persist to save and not spend it on other short time interests and you will get there. My Mum still hates the fact I own snakes, still wont touch them (even after living with them for 4 years) but I got them.


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## Mighty_Moose (Apr 10, 2011)

Anyone else notice that the OP hasn't commented since page 2? I guess this has gone from help to lets blast 5 pages of opinions.


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## ToadCountry (Apr 10, 2011)

LOL.....Yes MM !!.....somewhere out there is a young person who wants to get a snake.
Lets hope they fulfill the dream. Cos we have all been there.


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## Indysmum (Apr 10, 2011)

syeph8 said:


> I have a massive fear of spiders that would put most peoples fears to shame but I would still allow my child to keep a pet spider/scorpion under these conditions. Just because I am afraid of something doesn't mean that my child shouldn't be allowed to learn about them and enjoy them and learn some responsibility whilst caring for them. I would definitely be nervous at first and rules would be put in place.. very strict rules. But being a parent is about nurturing your childrens interests and growth with boundaries to keep THEM feeling secure.. Not to crush their interests and create boundaries to avoid personal growth and facing things that you just don't want to. Just putting my opinion out there


 
Spiderman is the only spider id let 'knowingly' live in my house haha:lol: 'Fred' the huntsman learned his lesson! Cut long story short, had huntsman in same corner of back loungeroom for days..in jokes with my kids I named him, and told the kids he was my new pet. Each day told Fred if he moved, that was it...well..he moved, I could now reach him so Fred had to go >.<
Its become the running joke at my place, any more huntsies wed say 'look, Fred is back!" lol They never get privillage of days stay without paying heavy price though


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## AllThingsReptile (Apr 11, 2011)

Plimpy said:


> My mum's answer to 'why can't I have a snake?':
> BECAUSE!! GO AWAY, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT NOW!
> My dad's answer to 'why can't I have a snake?':
> You can have one in December when you have the money, and also, we have too many pets right now... finally, you just got an animal 2 months ago.


lol thats exactly the same as me, my mum just says "go away" and my dad doesnt care, but they are split up and my licence is at mums


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## Jk888 (Apr 11, 2011)

if they dont want you having it its best not to get it , at the end of the day it wont be looked after


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## kawasakirider (Apr 11, 2011)

Why wouldn't it be looked after if he was looking after it?


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## Jk888 (Apr 11, 2011)

what happens if he goes away ? or gets sick ? , im all for the idea of him gettin a rep i think the more people who have em the better but if his parents dont like the idea then i dont see the point


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## saximus (Apr 11, 2011)

Is the OP even reading this any more? I feel our wonderful arguments have been for nought


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## ToadCountry (Apr 11, 2011)

jk888 said:


> if they dont want you having it its best not to get it , at the end of the day it wont be looked after



Thats a bit of a generalization......my thoughts would be if the interest declined - then snake can be sold.
You have to trust people and their motives......personally it makes sense for me to be idealistic - I'm all for people getting into the hobby. So what if a keen young fella gets a snake? Best outcome is that snake will teach, and keen young herper will learn - worst outcome is to sell if the need arises or the interest wanes.


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## kawasakirider (Apr 11, 2011)

jk888 said:


> what happens if he goes away ? or gets sick ? , im all for the idea of him gettin a rep i think the more people who have em the better but if his parents dont like the idea then i dont see the point


 
If the enclosure is set up right, it's relatively safe to go away for a week or two isn't it? I know something could potentially go wrong, but it's a risk you'd just have to take? I don't see why he couldn't feed and spot clean the enclosure if he was sick.


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## notechistiger (Apr 11, 2011)

Kawasakirider, I've gone away for over a month and my snakes were fine. Only had someone checking in each week to check their water and that was it. Heatcords are awesome for this reason =D


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## Southern_Forest_Drag (Apr 11, 2011)

Say its a legless lizard (sers).


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## snakelover33 (Apr 16, 2011)

im only 13 and i convinced my mum and dad into getting a woma python.
I just told them all the bright sides of having a snake and what it would do and that i would help them and it always works


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## Gangrenous (Apr 16, 2011)

OReilly said:


> She's also a little scared of my beardie but manages to feed it when she remembers... QUOTE]
> 
> Id say making sure to always feed your beardie so she knows she will never get stuck having to feed the snake would be a good start.


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## kawasakirider (Apr 16, 2011)

notechistiger said:


> Kawasakirider, I've gone away for over a month and my snakes were fine. Only had someone checking in each week to check their water and that was it. Heatcords are awesome for this reason =D


 
Thanks mate


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## Reaper86 (Apr 17, 2011)

A few years ago, I wanted a python of my own, but decided to wait til I move out. But tell your mother that a python is less harmful to either you or her, than something else would be like a large goanna or something. Some snakes only snap while they are inside their enclosure and they still calm while out. I've never actually kept a snake over night or anything, but for my first snake, I would probably get a Centralian or darwin python, because I like the look of them.
When I was between 14 and 17, instead of asking for something like a sleepy or bluey, I'd bring it home and put it in an enclosure and my parents wouldn't tell me to give it away, so you could do that? But make sure she doesn't find out that you have spent between 100 and 250 dollars depending on where you buy the snake and where you live. At ultimate reptiles in SA, you can get a coastal carpet python pretty cheap, I think around the 110 dollar range


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## OReilly (Apr 17, 2011)

Jeannine said:


> *you might be 24 but its HER house, HER rules and if you dont like them maybe its time for you to save up and move out then you can do what you want when you want
> 
> if you want to be treated like an adult then act like one
> 
> ...


 Well beggin' your pardon Jeannine,
but please don't lose site of what i've written and what others have written. Half that stuff you were talking about i didn't even say, i'm not forcing her into anything and TELLING her i'm getting a snake by any means. Although i DO think her fear is stupid just as my fear of heights is stupid and I want to make every attempt to find out exactly why she feels i should not have a snake and try and talk to her about it. I've pretty much given up now anyhoo. It's at least going to be a while before i mention it again.


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## snakeluvver (Apr 17, 2011)

My god Jeannie, I just read your post again and the things so accused him of are things he never did! He never said he was going to bring home a snake, people suggested it. And trying to educate her isn't disrespectful, it's making her appreciate the beautiful creatures they are (all creatures are beautiful in their way, even spiders. At a PUSH even mosquitos... But not really). Trying to convince someone isn't bad, and he isn't forcing her into it. You seem like a very close minded person Jeannie, sorry.


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## Jazzz (Apr 18, 2011)

i think its the font aswell... makes the writing look angry


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## Gangrenous (Apr 20, 2011)

snakeluvver said:


> My god Jeannie, I just read your post again and the things so accused him of are things he never did! He never said he was going to bring home a snake, people suggested it. And trying to educate her isn't disrespectful, it's making her appreciate the beautiful creatures they are (all creatures are beautiful in their way, even spiders. At a PUSH even mosquitos... But not really). Trying to convince someone isn't bad, and he isn't forcing her into it. You seem like a very close minded person Jeannie, sorry.



The only animals that arnt beautiful are crickets. I hate those little guys


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## KaotikJezta (Apr 20, 2011)

Gangrenous said:


> The only animals that arnt beautiful are crickets. I hate those little guys


Nah, crickets are hell cute.


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## saximus (Apr 20, 2011)

They aren't cute when you accidentally let them escape and they keep you up with their infernal chirping


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## KaotikJezta (Apr 20, 2011)

saximus said:


> They aren't cute when you accidentally let them escape and they keep you up with their infernal chirping


I have a rule in my house, if one escapes it is allowed to hang around and survive as long as it can. I don't mind the chirping.


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## Gangrenous (Apr 20, 2011)

Theres no such thing as an accidental escape with crickets, they can get out of air tight reinforced bank vaults just to make you mad.


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## harley0402 (Apr 20, 2011)

just get one......


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## Defective (Apr 20, 2011)

mum let 3 crix esape in my room and it was the infernal chirping that got them caught


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## feedthepanda2 (Apr 20, 2011)

saximus said:


> They aren't cute when you accidentally let them escape and they keep you up with their infernal chirping



We put up with 3 months of chirping after about 4 crickets were ignored by the lizards, got under the lino in the tank, multiplied, then died after getting themselves stuck. *twitch*


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## saximus (Apr 20, 2011)

Haha one of my most satisfying herp moments was catching one that had kept me awake all night and seeing my Pygmy beardie smash it


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## Jazzz (Apr 20, 2011)

kaotikjezta said:


> I have a rule in my house, if one escapes it is allowed to hang around and survive as long as it can. I don't mind the chirping.


 
haha i have the same rule =] even if i find it i put it outside. He earnt it


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## Skinnerguy (Apr 23, 2011)

I'm definitely not one for stopping at "just no" and am also not patient enough to wait until i'm 18 and can move out. and i also believe compromise can be found in everything. I'm rather disappointed at what was put forward by jeannine and although this was her opinion, it was not consructive in any way and being that she didn't know the situation that the OP was in, or even have enough sense to realise which comments in this thread were serious or just jokes, half of her comments weren't even valid. My thoughts are, if your mum knows anyone who has snakes that is an adult, see if you can get them to talk, because, lets face it, adults are going to pay more attention to what another adult says, for the simple reason that they can level with them. i believe even jeannine wouldn't mind having her mind changed by someone who she considers her equall. as has already been pointed out, if you do have a conversation on this topic with your parents, point out the positives like, the low cost and the ease of care, as well as put forward ideas that your mum may appreciate, if they make things easier for her.any compromise is going to have conditions, as mine did when i disscussed it with my parents. and many people do find (namely my sister lol) that after consistent positive contact with snakes that they are beautiful creatures, and now my sister even points out snakes she thinks i should get because she likes them. It's not a forcing on of opinion, or bending of rules, just a change of perspective into appreciation. I say, keep it up, and if you show enough interest, your mum might see how getting a snake could benefit you.
Good luck


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## longqi (Apr 23, 2011)

Ask your mum what the fear of spiders is called
Or the fear of heights
She will answer both very easily I think
Then ask her what the fear of snakes is called

When she admits that she has no idea, much like 99.999% of the population, gently ask her how she can be scared of something if she doesnt even know the name of that fear
I always use that question with people who are scared of snakes
It makes them think for a moment instead of reacting to irrational thoughts


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## snakeluvver (Apr 30, 2011)

longqi said:


> Ask your mum what the fear of spiders is called
> Or the fear of heights
> She will answer both very easily I think
> Then ask her what the fear of snakes is calleds


 
I asked my mum that. She didnt know what a fear of heights is called :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Defective (May 1, 2011)

so i pick mine up mid may...just talking about it and taking her to petshops and getting her involved has got her to come around!!


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## Indysmum (May 5, 2011)

longqi said:


> Ask your mum what the fear of spiders is called
> Or the fear of heights
> She will answer both very easily I think
> Then ask her what the fear of snakes is called
> ...


We should compair notes, I have pinched before rip bandaids off...they never complain about ripping it off that way, too distracted by the pinch  Reminds me of a movie, she does similar thing...but she flashes her naked body instead of a pinch, it had same effect  lol


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## sookie (May 5, 2011)

Well i am a mum who is constantly nagged for stuff.stuff that in 2 days i know will be forgotten and some thing else will take it's place.pets that i end up caring for or giving away,like g.pigs,rabbits,goldfish,and now a pup.he has a snake,but i look after it like everything else live he gets.so in defence of your poor mum,maybe she just doesn't need the extra thing on her plate.


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## snakeluvver (May 5, 2011)

When she eventually let's you get one, get a gravid female, wait a few months and ta dah! Instant collection.


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## jamesn48 (May 6, 2011)

I guess you could make sure you're looking after you're beardy, then the easiest way would be to make her see a python and possibly get her to handle one.


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## Inspiration (May 14, 2011)

I guess you're still living at home? I would advise against getting too many pets until you are established in your own home because some rental properties now don't even allow FISH on the lease. I had 2 cats when living at home, then about 6 years later, after a few rentals, ended up having to give them to my father to look after until I could find another place that would allow them. By that time, he'd somehow gotten rid of them (said they ran away, but they took their vet records and registration papers too lol) and regret that time very much. We've been in this house 6 years now and have fish and a dog, deciding whether to get a snake or become a wildlife carer for reptiles, or both, and don't see that we would move any time in the next decade, we're well settled and not having to navigate the rental market anymore.


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## Atrax1207 (May 15, 2011)

LoL, I just bring any animal that I buy home without telling anyone, that way they don't have a chance to say no. :lol:
I just bring them home set them up and that's it. 

I'm so happy that we don't have "no <insert any animal here>" practices in Slovenia!


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## marteed (May 16, 2011)

My question to all of those saying to just bring one home- What happens if one day it escapes, he is not home and the mother comes across it. Out of a fear reaction she may kill and then what? 1 dead snake, money lost and once again he has no snake!
If he wants one that bad, man up, move out and get your own place! SORRY!


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## snakeluvver (May 16, 2011)

snakeluvver said:


> Ask if you can have a legless lizard, if she says yes then get a snake and tell her its one


 
My god, 16 likes from one post :lol:


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## Atrax1207 (May 17, 2011)

marteed said:


> My question to all of those saying to just bring one home- What happens if one day it escapes, he is not home and the mother comes across it. Out of a fear reaction she may kill and then what? 1 dead snake, money lost and once again he has no snake!
> If he wants one that bad, man up, move out and get your own place! SORRY!


 
If his mother hates snakes/reptiles she will kill it regardless. I know that my mom (when I was still at home) wouldn't kill any animal even if she didn't knew I own it. She would call me and ask me if it is mine, if it is/isn't (doesn't make any difference if animal is mine or "wild") she would put it in a plastic bin until I came home. Simple as that!
Some parents like that piss me off (not to offend anyone), they know nothing about animal in question, but they still think that corn snake will come at you at 3:36AM and suck your brains out, luckily mine are not in that group of ppl.

Either way, I just said what I did, not what OP should do.


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## happyherps (May 19, 2011)

+1


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