# Love Thy Customer...



## shell477 (Nov 19, 2011)

Well its that time of the year again where customers start going CRAZY and brain cells start to elude them...

I thought I would create a thread where you can tell your stories relating to customers, feel free to vent!

Here's some to start us off, although I get these all year round not just in the silly season. 

(Note: I work in a Bakers Delight)

Customer: I'll have a pie thanks!
Me: Sorry, we dont sell hot food like pies here
Customer: Oh ok, no worries... I'll just have a sausage roll!
Me: Sorry we don't have those either, we dont sell hot food like pies and pasties, Bakers Delight mainly sell bread products
Customer: Oh... Ok.... Do you sell icecreams?
_*facepalm*_


Customer: how much are your cheese and bacon rolls each?
Me: $2.70 each _(expensive I know but delicious!)_
Customer: Ok, I'll take 4 please. 
Me: *bags order* Ok that comes to a total of $10.80 thanks 
Customer: WHAT! $10.80 for four rolls! Thats bloody expensive, I might as well just go to Safeway!
_*facepalm, you asked how much they were before you ordered!..*
_

I usually can think of heaps more just like this, but my brain is tired right now. YOUR TURN!


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## Fuscus (Nov 19, 2011)

I recently had a problem with a customer who didn't like the Norwegian Blue he purchased


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## longqi (Nov 19, 2011)

We closed the display but still do hotel shows etc

Got a call one night to let some guests from a pretty ritzy hotel chain into our house to see the snakes

Our anniversary but agreed so long as they came quickly
3 hours later 12 people finally turned up
Spent next 2 hours with them
Gushed about everything and how wonderful the snakes were

When they left after wrecking our night, drinking all our water, messing up two bathrooms and looking down their noses at my lovely companion; they left a total of $10.25 in the donation box

Im convinced that richer they are; meaner they are


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## AusReptiles88 (Nov 19, 2011)

I had someone ask me wether snakes ate GRAINS!


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## Leeloofluff (Nov 19, 2011)

haha i love how customers mispronounce things...
i have an electrus parrot
i have a conure...*sounds like manure* 
I have a stimsonian python


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## MesseNoire (Nov 19, 2011)

I work in a go lo
Lots of people try to tell me that we are part of woolworths. Especially the older people, and it doesn't matter how many times I tell them, they still seem to think they know my job and company better than me....
Oh, and I get a lot of people asking if I sell bread?


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## Jeffa (Nov 19, 2011)

Love thy customer and kick her out in the morning.


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## littlemay (Nov 19, 2011)

Leeloofluff said:


> haha i love how customers mispronounce things...
> i have an electrus parrot
> i have a conure...*sounds like manure*
> I have a stimsonian python



My favourite is gumpies and goopies for guppies =p

I've had some weird customers come in before...

One woman told me how delicious ferrets tasted
Another wanted to know if it was ok to shower with his guinea pig
But the true winner only came in within the last month, was interested in purchasing a flea from us for his son's science project.

Customers are always crazy, Christmas just just brings them out in higher numbers.


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## snakeluvver (Nov 19, 2011)

Always love reading stuff like this, keep it coming


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## BarneyandScrub (Nov 19, 2011)

i work for a glazing company. fixed a customers broken sliding door and they asked me if i could change the barrel on there lock told them i wasnt a lock smith and he asked if anyone i worked with was i told him that we are glaziers and not lock smith the next day he rang up and refused to pay because he had to get a lock smith to changed his barrel cause we couldnt do it. what a douch


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## shell477 (Nov 19, 2011)

Ferret..?? Ew...

And how DO you pronounce conure then?? 

These are great keep them coming!


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## Exotic_Doc (Nov 19, 2011)

Hey Shell, Conure is pronounced CON-R


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## shell477 (Nov 19, 2011)

Thanks! I too had thought the 'ure' was pronounced the same as in manure lol! Nobodys perfect I guess!


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## littlemay (Nov 19, 2011)

Con-r ??? Not sure how i'm interpreting that... but pretty sure phonetically it's con-ya


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## MathewB (Nov 19, 2011)

shell477 said:


> Nobodys perfect I guess!



You obviously haven't met me


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## mrs_davo (Nov 19, 2011)

I work in the car parts industry....
I hate when a know it all customer comes in to get a certain part for their vehicle ( eg landcruiser/patrol etc )
that when I start to ask the obvious questions like - model/year etc - I get told that they are all the same...
Some get offended when I say that if they want the correct part that I need the correct details....
so if they dont give me the correct details,and I give them wrong part - for some reason I am at fault - go figure

I hate to say it but the customer IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT.....


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## shell477 (Nov 19, 2011)

One thing that really gets on my nerves is when I tell them the price and hold my hand out for the money, they go _straight_ past my hand (like literally nearly touch it as they pass) and put the coins on the glass top and slide it towards me (no doubt scratching the glass). 
Then when I go to hand them their change, they hold THEIR hand out for their change! I feel like putting in down next to their freaking hand! 

And people who order their bread with their sunnies on. We are in a mall. I hate trying to talk to people when I cant see their eyes!


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## BarneyandScrub (Nov 19, 2011)

lol isnt it just great when they try and give you a hand with your job. like trying to take the glass out of the broken window they rang you to come and fix or tell you what your doing wrong


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## Megzz (Nov 19, 2011)

shell477 said:


> One thing that really gets on my nerves is when I tell them the price and hold my hand out for the money, they go _straight_ past my hand (like literally nearly touch it as they pass) and put the coins on the glass top and slide it towards me (no doubt scratching the glass).
> Then when I go to hand them their change, they hold THEIR hand out for their change! I feel like putting in down next to their freaking hand!


I've worked in Bakers Delight AND a supermarket for wayyy too many years in the past. And yes this was one of my pet hates! In my worst moods I used to ignore their hands and put their change on the counter hehe... then they look all offended like it doesnt work both ways. Morons.


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## Flaviruthless (Nov 19, 2011)

shell477 said:


> Then when I go to hand them their change, they hold THEIR hand out for their change! I feel like putting in down next to their freaking hand!



I used to do exactly that at my old work, all of the time, and smile at them  'Have a nice day!'

Nowadays it's correcting people, as Leeloofluff said, my two favourites are "Electric Parrot" (I'm fairly certain that the big green bird sitting on you is actually an Eclectus, as per your licence details) and when walking past the cricket section hearing people (generally parents w kids) saying "Why are there crickets here?" "Must be to feed the snakes..."


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## Megzz (Nov 19, 2011)

Oh heres a good one - some fat old git came up to my checkout and started yelling to me about what idiots we must be since the chocolate sauce wasn't in th same isle as tomato, bbq and all the other sauces. "Its a SAUCE, isnt it!? Guess they pay you guys peanuts and thats why your all monkeys!" Then he stormed out in a huff leaving his wife to apologize and pay for his shopping lol.


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## littlemay (Nov 19, 2011)

Me: Hi
Customer: Good thanks

Me: Would you like a bag?
Customer: *ignores*
Me: *hands over item*
Customer: Can i have a bag?

And when i've had a particularly bad day full of rude/mentally defective customers....

Customer *looking at guinea pig in enclosure* What's that?
Me: It's a ham sandwich


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## D3pro (Nov 19, 2011)

I was working in an Italian Shoe shop (manager/sales/etc.) in the valley. (Brisbane)
Friday night, 9pm and was about to end my day. 

Random lady walks in... I use the term "walks" loosely.. she stumbled in my shop.
This lady didn't look right: she couldn't stand properly, her eyes were rolling to the back of her head and she smelled like hard drugs.
She was also around her mid 40 years of age, looked like she weighed 40kg and was dressed in a fur cote, skimpy top and mini skirt... in the middle of summer.

She sits down on a chair and looks at me with her eyes half shut... I asked if she was ok, but the only response I got was a mumble.
She then took out a bar of those chocolate rice bubbles, and started eating it... around now her eyes were fully shut.

I polity asked her if she could leave, but no response, didn't even open her eyes.
She then started leaning to one side of the chair, it didn't have any arm rests so she fell off and hit the ground. She didn't get back up.

I poked her with a shoe horn... she smell was horrible. After realising that the drugged up hooker was not going to leave on her own will, I decided to call paramedics. 
It gets worse...

Lady over the phone said I had to put her in a position that she could breath properly... wasn't hard the lady didn't weigh much, I was more disturbed of touching her, who knows where she had been.
She then asked me to check if she was still breathing, and not that I cared, but I was super happy that she was... cause there is no way that I would of done mouth to mouth, I don't love thy customer enough.

Paramedics arrived, checked her vitals and said she was intoxicated (well duh)... did other stuff for 15 minutes and then finally took her. What a waste of human resources. 
I sprayed the shop with disinfectant. I then went on home. Worst day ever.


Bad customers I can handle.... that was something else.


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## littlemay (Nov 19, 2011)

Should've taken the rest of her chocolate rice bubbles


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## D3pro (Nov 19, 2011)

littlemay said:


> Should've taken the rest of her chocolate rice bubbles


 Oh I put them back in her fur coat... (shivers)


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## shell477 (Nov 19, 2011)

We have a customer that comes in, and the smell is vile. He doesnt wash, doesnt shave, doesnt change his clothes, has a pet sheep and I SWEAR he SLEEPS with the sheep. The smell is just undescribable. The worst part it that our shop is next the automatic doors, so every time they open we get a nice gust of wind that blows his smell further around the shop. We have to Glen20 the air after he leaves.

Also, he always tries to hit on us and 'teach' us spanish.... (he knows like 3 phrases)


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## D3pro (Nov 19, 2011)

shell477 said:


> We have a customer that comes in, and the smell is vile. He doesnt wash, doesnt shave, doesnt change his clothes, has a pet sheep and I SWEAR he SLEEPS with the sheep. The smell is just undescribable. The worst part it that our shop is next the automatic doors, so every time they open we get a nice gust of wind that blows his smell further around the shop. We have to Glen20 the air after he leaves.
> 
> Also, he always tries to hit on us and 'teach' us spanish.... (he knows like 3 phrases)



Next time he comes in, spray him with glen20. That should push through the message haha


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## littlemay (Nov 19, 2011)

Completely unrelated but there is a man who looks to be in his mid 30s (?) who comes in every week without fail to buy 5 sucking cat fish. Now we've sussed him out and he's always been very polite and clearly knows about fish keeping so it's not like they die off each week. I personally think he has them in a huge bath tub and bathes with them to exfoliate his skin.


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## Grunter023 (Nov 19, 2011)

haha love hearing funny stories like this. keep them coming! I could never work in retail and have to work with people everyday - they would drive me insane!!


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## glassless_mind (Nov 20, 2011)

When I was in high school I worked in a surf shop for a while.

I had two different men, on separate days, come in looking for bikinis to fit them.

The second guy's kids looked like they would have given just about anything, to be anywhere else...


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## DeadCricket (Nov 20, 2011)

Working in hospitality, we have the pleasure of seeing people at their best and the pain of seeing them at their worse.

I often have troubles with people's odours. Often they aren't the drunk ones but people who sit at the pokies. I had one guy come in several times who was so bad he cleared my gaming room in record time. Hard to explain to them why they aren't allowed back in.

Problem gamblers can be the worst. One quiet sunday night a problem gambler snuck into my gaming room. She continued to stay there, in the seat for SO long that she urinated.... Clothed... Sitting in the chair.... this passed by unnoticed as she was the only one there. She then defecated herself.... Clothed....sitting in the chair..... After a bit this odour was noticed. My gaming staff came to notify me of the odour, I came around to check out the situation, she promptly threw up (because of the smell I guess) and fell off her chair. I unfortunately had to do the same medical checks pre arrival of paramedics. I then threw out the chair and put a little something extra in the cleaners pay.

Amusing ones are when you serve someone a beer, hand them their change and then they turn to say hi to someone, knock over their drink and then expect you to replace it.

Other amusing one's are when you throw out a drunk idiot. He instantly turns into the toughest guy in town, starts mouthing off and trying to push you around. Then as the police walk up behind him he turns and attempts to charge you because he wasn't doing anything.....

I also once had a guy pull a knife on me. After several warnings, all on camera, about my training I broke his wrist during a disarm of a quite large knife. He also tried to take me to court.

Trust me, enjoy your idiots.

Also, hospitality isn't all bad, we also see people at their best and having the time of their life. Its more good than bad


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## miley_take (Nov 20, 2011)

ARGH! Customers!

I work at Dick Smiths

I hate the ones that smell, and then insist on standing right next to you, or with bad breath and talk in your face. 

Customers getting angry because we don't stock what they want anymore, or because I can't take $100 of a TV because it's already at cost price (we are NOT flipping Harvey Normans!!!) I'm more then willing to help get you a good deal if you are polite and go about it nicely. Don't expect me to take money off when you are rude and impatient.

Had this one customer and her husband, want to buy a TV. Got cranky because I could only take $20 off it before I'd cop a hiding for losing the company money. They then expected because they wanted another TV then, that I could do a better deal, when in fact it made it worse (second TV was $20 below cost). So after all of this, I struggle to bring these two TV's out (I'm 5ft, 45kg so there's not that much of me lol) I need manager autho to finish the sale because it's losing the company money. She's all "I have somewhere to be, can we hurry this up?!" Meanwhile, my manager is with another customer who's been waiting a fair while, and my customer goes to interrupt my manager. THEN! before the stinking woman has paid for the tvs, the husband takes them outside the shop and leaves them sitting on the path outside the store while he goes and gets the car. I get them back inside, and he comes back in, in a huff, and takes them back - while his wife STILL hasn't paid for them! This was my first customer of the day, and it just got worse from there :| lol

Or customers that hit on you or try and set you up with their sons/grandsons

Customer: Are you Mrs Dick Smith?
Me: Miss, I'm not married
Customer: (who's at least 70) Oh good! I'll tell my son! 

Customer: Can you give it to me for $50? $50 and a big kiss! (customer is definition of bogan, smells like a rubbish dump and his kids are running around the shop screaming)
Me: *shudders* I don't think my boyfriend would like that too much

:\ Ahhh... Customer Service at Christmas! -.-


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## mad_at_arms (Nov 20, 2011)

I use to work at a Safeway in East Geelong, seen many a crazy thing go on there, mostly at night. However this one occurred on a busy thursday afternoon.
A "chemically dependant" couple were arguing about the price of nappies, it would seem that their funds were limited and they had to decide whether to purchase said nappies or as the male of the couple put it "get his Sh_t". 
Arguing was successful and now had led to shouting, 
"Everything alright guys?" 
I asked facetiously.
Male to me "F off!"
I kept walking.
They started yelling again until the male decided to end the exchange by dropping his girlfriend right there in the aisle.
They left without the nappies.
Not sure which customer was right in this instance.


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## euphorion (Nov 20, 2011)

I spent a few years working in a bikini shop. Now, it's just not fun when you have ladies getting their boobs out expecting you to help them dress. I mean, we sure do have to help them dress and fit the togs for them but i don't exactly enjoy seeing their puppies in all their glory... especially the real 'mature' ones! *cries from mental images burnt into memory*

Or during sale time in other ladies' fashion stores; signs all over shop say 'prices a marked!' And you have people repeatedly asking, 'how much is this one?' READ THE TAG, GENIUS! *brain implodes from fatal levels of surrounding stupidity*

Then at a vet clinic people would come in asking if i can just 'give them the meds (without seeing the vet)' for their dog who has a sore paw, or a watery eye, or is passing blood, or won't stop barking... NO, IDIOT, BOOK A CONSULT. Or they turn up 20 minutes late for their appointment and expect to be seen immediately, only to then get cranky when you explain that because they missed their appointed time they will have to wait for the vet to see to the people waiting who were actually on time for theirs. YOU. LADY. WITH THE YAPPY LITTLE FLUFF-THING THE IS SCARING THE CATS AND UPSETTING THE OTHER DOGS BEFORE I PROBABLY HAVE TO GET BLOOD SAMPLES FROM THEM. GET OFF YOUR PHONE AND SHUT IT UP. uuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


Oooooooooooohhhhhhh i just remembered one i presume i blocked from my memory, sigh. Used to be a mobile dog washer, you know with the trailer and hybrobath and all that... There was one dog on my Tuesday run every fortnight that got me so stressed out in ancitipation of the horrors to come. We always confirmed the baths the day before so this owner always knew we were coming and half the time he just wasn't home. Now, easy enough for him to just leave the end of a powercord under the garage door so i could at least plug in to wash the dog, but he never even did that. He wife would always be home but i must have looked like some serial axe-murderer because she never answered the door for me. Then there was the dog itself, Missy a Golden Retreiver who was left all day in the dirt yard with nothing to do. She was so matted that she hated the baths because they hurt so much, i would have to muzzle her to be safe. I even went against my boss' direct instructions NOT to take clippers out there to shave off the matts (around her tail, between her legs, all along her belly, behind her ears and dwn her throat) so that they would bring her in for proper grooming. So i did it anyway one day for the sake of the dog and copped i hiding from the owner, not like he cared he never took the dog anywhere and bought it for his daughter who is terrified of dogs anyway. Besides all of that the wife would always call up the shop after i left (instead of just calling me) to complain that i hadn't actually washed the dog because she was covered in mud. Mind you, the yard was completely grass-less and convered in bare dirt, put a damp dog in there and what do you think is going to happen? Wasn't allowed to put her inside or chain her up to her kennel. More often than not my boss would just send me back to do it again knowing full well that it would just happen all over again! ARGH!

Definately do not love thy customer, poke 'em in the eye with a pointy stick instead! *stop that, annoying customer!*


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## phantomreptiles (Nov 20, 2011)

If you google "the customer is NOT always right" you will find hundreds of similar anecdotes


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## Recharge (Nov 20, 2011)

shell477 said:


> We have a customer that comes in, and the smell is vile. He doesnt wash, doesnt shave, doesnt change his clothes, has a pet sheep and I SWEAR he SLEEPS with the sheep. The smell is just undescribable. The worst part it that our shop is next the automatic doors, so every time they open we get a nice gust of wind that blows his smell further around the shop. We have to Glen20 the air after he leaves.
> 
> Also, he always tries to hit on us and 'teach' us spanish.... (he knows like 3 phrases)



you do know you have the right to refuse service right? simply TELL him he isn't in a fit state to be in the store and to go wash 

there are limits to what one has to put up with.

and to the dick smith employee, there's NO way a dick smith chain is selling ANYTHING for ONLY $20 on top, especially a high price item like a TV


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## littlemay (Nov 20, 2011)

Recharge said:


> and to the dick smith employee, there's NO way a dick smith chain is selling ANYTHING for ONLY $20 on top, especially a high price item like a TV



I have to sort of agree with that... What sort of store sells tv's at cost with only a $20 profit margin...?

I really hate when people ask you for a discount on a tiny purchase... If you're spending quite a bit of dosh i'm usually happy to take 10-15% off, but people come in demanding discounts as if it's their god given right no matter how small the purchase. One woman was buying a couple of mollies once, as i was getting them out for her she was like, oh, you'll do them for me for $3.00 right (they're 4.50 each). I was like uuuuuh no... they're 4.50. The woman loses her s#@* at me demanding that i give them to her for 3.00 each, saying that when she came here months ago she bought something and got a discount, so therefore i was legally obligated to give her a discount this time. I had to explain to her very slowly and carefully that that wasn't how it worked but she wasn't having it, then came one of the best moments that any retail employee can have...
Customer: I demand to speak to the manager
Me: *Smiling* I am the manager

Also, when in a huge tank of tetras someone wants to pick out individual fish for me to catch, i mean seriously? They are all of good stock and the same size, why does it matter. Then they get shirty when it inevitably takes me ages to net them UGH


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## snakeluvver (Nov 20, 2011)

I hope I never work in retail when I grow up though I probably will in my teen years as a part time job.
We had a garage sale recently and dealing with people then was bad enough. I was selling computer games for $5 which is ridiculously cheap anyway, yet this chubby smelly kid had the nerve to ask for a half price discount or something then gave me a sour look when I said no. All he sad was "Well you just lost a customer". 
Funnily he came back later asking for a discount on a $1 toy. Again, I said no and he stormed off.
Came back a third time. Before he could open his mouth I said "No."
He didnt come back.


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## Megzz (Nov 20, 2011)

littlemay said:


> I have to sort of agree with that... What sort of store sells tv's at cost with only a $20 profit margin...?


You might not believe it, but it can happen. Same with car sales (pre owned)... everyone thinks car salesmen are out to rip them off - sometimes if they really need to move a car its ok just to break even.


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## littlemay (Nov 20, 2011)

But to sell a brand new tv for $20 profit is just not worth it for the seller, it's not about ripping people off, it's about having to cover overheads etc. You'd be out of business pretty damn quickly tbh.


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## Nighthawk (Nov 20, 2011)

I was working the food cabinet one day at my old job back in NZ. The way we used to have it was one on the cabinet, getting out meals, heating (if needed) etc, handing to the customer, repeat, and one on the till taking the orders and payment. The line would stretch out past the cabinet, and I would work my way down it from the first in line to the last in order to have the meals ready and save time.
I took one order for a focaccia sandwich and plated it up, ready for the customer, the next thing I know I'm getting harangued by a 'gentleman' several feet behind in the line.
"I wanted that sandwich."
"I'm sorry sir, but another customer _in front_ of you purchased it. If you like I could make you a fresh one?"
"But I wanted _that_ sandwich. I was going to order it."
"I'm afraid the lady's already paid and taken it sir. Really, I can make you a fresh one exactly the same; I made that one myself before the lunch hour so I know what went into it."
"No. I want the other one!"
(he was starting to yell at this stage)
"I'll just make you a fresh one. (unspoken: It'll be better anyway, please, just leave me alone you sandwich psycho!)"
"NO! I WANTED THE OTHER SANDWICH. GET *****ED!" 

The sandwich was overpriced and pretty crap anyway...
Last I saw of him he was out the door flipping me the finger. Bloody nutjob.


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## DeadCricket (Nov 20, 2011)

littlemay said:


> But to sell a brand new tv for $20 profit is just not worth it for the seller, it's not about ripping people off, it's about having to cover overheads etc. You'd be out of business pretty damn quickly tbh.



In most big chains certain lines that aren't doing so great move onto a ' move it along' line where the big boys have decided that they want a different line in so they flog off the remainder of the slow sellers really cheap.



littlemay said:


> Customer: I demand to speak to the manager
> Me: *Smiling* I am the manager



This is my favourite moment EVER. Completely amazing moment in life.


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## Nighthawk (Nov 20, 2011)

Oh yeah; behind the bar was my favourite. I've had several marriage proposals from drunk patrons, chased down a 16(ish) year old who first came to the bar herself (no ID, no service), sent her boyfriend (took the drink away when I saw her drinking it) and then sent several of her friends (no love, not going to work...) been bailed up by an ex who spent the night regaling me with tales of his AMAZING life now that we're split because, you know, I'm paid to listen (douche), and my personal favourite: had to shepherd an inebriated bride (in 500 miles of white satin) off the premises after our license ended at 3am and I'd been working for 18 hours. She passed out on the picnic table outside and then abused us all the way to the gate.


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## vampstorso (Nov 20, 2011)

It's fair to say I hate 99% of customers everyday,
especially when they answer questions you didn't ask...then ignore the ones you do ask then complain later they weren't asked...e.g "would you like your receipt?" and you get a dumb irrelevant answer like "coke for the drink." then they ask where it is. -___-


Today a man was inserting his card wrong into the eftpos machine, and he kept YELLING at me "WHAT'S IT SAYING?" ...sorry...can't you read the screen all by your lonesome?! so I said "it says present card" to which he exclaimed "I ALREADY DID THAT, DO YOUR DAMN JOB RIGHT"


Yeah mate, 'cause I'm totally an eftpos machine, thanks for reminding me.


or when you hand people a receipt...they take it into their car, slowly take their money off it, hand it back and say "you can keep that one love " as if it's a gift or makes my life easier.



or when mostly middle aged men, during peak periods, come in, are horrible too you, and then say "and can you bring it out to me, love? "
and I think...calling me a pet name alone means NO, plus it's busy, plus welcome to fast food, we don't do that! UGH SO SELFISH.


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## starr9 (Nov 20, 2011)

I was working in a fish and chip shop many years ago when a guy walked in with a gun. he held it 2 my face and said give me all your money. I was just about to do as he asked when my boss pulled his gun and rested it on my shoulder and said "mate, you can try it but i can tell you this, you pull that trigger and you will get her but i can say i will get you before you get me... your call." At this point Iv gone white as a ghost and frozen in place. The guy who walked in thinks about it and walks out but as he walks back he try's to be smart and reaches for a coke. Well my boss unloads right into the fridge this guy is reaching in to for the coke. Guy who tryd to hold us up falls over calls out to my boss telling him hes crazy and runs away. Im still frozen in place when my boss turns to me and said " Well f-me. the wife did have this thing loaded after all".... I did not go back to that job.

I now am a manager for a fast food chain and have lots of story's just like the ones above.


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## BrownHash (Nov 20, 2011)

shooshoo said:


> I spent a few years working in a bikini shop.



Sounds like my dream job.



littlemay said:


> But to sell a brand new tv for $20 profit is just not worth it for the seller, it's not about ripping people off, it's about having to cover overheads etc. You'd be out of business pretty damn quickly tbh.



If an item is being sold for profit then the cost of the overheads, wages etc. have already been calculated into the sale price of the item. Also, lots of companies/businesses sell at near cost price to move out old stock to be replaced with newer models. The real estate that the item takes up is worth more than the loss made by selling it cheap. If you always try to sell at a huge profit no matter what you'll end up with a store with old items that nobody wants.

This thread makes me glad that I don't work retail or have to deal with people in a work environment.


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## vampstorso (Nov 20, 2011)

people yelling at you they were ripped off when infact they just changed their mind...
you're not ripped off if you didn't receive something that's NOT on your receipt!! plus being rude to me won't fix anything any faster.


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## Fang101 (Nov 20, 2011)

starr9 said:


> I was working in a fish and chip shop many years ago when a guy walked in with a gun. he held it 2 my face and said give me all your money. I was just about to do as he asked when my boss pulled his gun and rested it on my shoulder and said "mate, you can try it but i can tell you this, you pull that trigger and you will get her but i can say i will get you before you get me... your call." At this point Iv gone white as a ghost and frozen in place. The guy who walked in thinks about it and walks out but as he walks back he try's to be smart and reaches for a coke. Well my boss unloads right into the fridge this guy is reaching in to for the coke. Guy who tryd to hold us up falls over calls out to my boss telling him hes crazy and runs away. Im still frozen in place when my boss turns to me and said " Well f-me. the wife did have this thing loaded after all".... I did not go back to that job.
> 
> I now am a manager for a fast food chain and have lots of story's just like the ones above.



That must have been a scary experience.
LOVING the stories guys!


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## starr9 (Nov 20, 2011)

Fang101 said:


> That must have been a scary experience.
> LOVING the stories guys!



Yep! Iv had a gun pulled on me 2 times that was the first and the 2nd time I was working late and the fast food shop i work for is next to a pub and a guy walked in and wanted chips, cheese and gravy. So I made if for him no problems and he was happy until someone went 2 the toilet befor him and he wanted to go right then so he did on the floor and decided he would wipe his poo all over the walls etc so the person who was in the toilet would understand that they should of gone after him.... So I walk over and tell him that he will need to go so he pulled a gun on me and said " ill go after I see this (insert lots of colourful words) face when he walks out". I had one staff member call the cops before I walked over, as after so many drunk ppl doing just as classy things as this guy you have the cops on speed dial! This guy was waving his gun around and the cops got there in under 5mins thank god and was taking him away when he said "its not loaded I dont know why you called the cops for. I was just joking..." mmmmm

Had a lady who was on something come in one time and she said she had got a burger and it was moldy. I was shocked as I was the only person on in the kitchen so I was the one who would of made it and Im over the top with how clean and fresh my shop is so i asked to see this burger. She pulled it out of her bag in a plastic bag and thrust it in my face and said "look you tryed to kill me this this!!" At the same time her "stash" of white/light brown crystal stuff fell out onto the bench. She didnt notice this but I had and so did the customers and front staff. My staff member whent round the back and called the cops while I looked at this burger and said " im sorry miss but you did not get this from my shop" It was so badly covered in mould you could not tell it was a burger anymore. Plus it was wrapped in a KFC burger packet, I do not work at KFC and we do not put pineapple on our burgers and this one had it on. So long story short this girl gos nuts telling everyone I cheated her out of her weekly meal etc. One customer try'ed to calm her down and this is the point she lost it and try'ed to kick and bite me, kick the door down and carry on like as she walked out the door. So I locked the door after she left with my staff and customers inside. she carry'ed on for 15min and walked off. The cops rocked up 45min after they got called to find me, her stash and a video of the whole thing and a statement ready for them. She got 6mths and I got a "sorry" some mths later......


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## snakeluvver (Nov 20, 2011)

Ill never make it in retail I swear.
From half the stories you all have told, I wouldve started yelling at the costumer and just thrown something heavy at them lol


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## littlemay (Nov 20, 2011)

It's not all bad, there's the sweetest woman that comes in on Fridays to put her change in the guide dog donation box; the arthritis in her hands is so bad she needs one of us to put the coins in the slot. She's just lovely to talk to, sharp as a tack as well despite her age. You do get to meet and talk to a lot of cool people, but you need self control for the crazies =p


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## Kitah (Nov 20, 2011)

Littlemay, that is the kind of person that would make my day. Pity there aren't more people like that


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## DeadCricket (Nov 20, 2011)

Like old Jim who comes into a pub I used to work at. Can tell you the exact date of everything that happend in his 80 some years of life but can't remember the name of his beer. 2 stripy ones thanks clint! Haha. Some amazing stories.


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## K3nny (Nov 21, 2011)

Not my own but an account from one of my friends doing either volunteering or doing part of a course from uni for medsci
setting: hospital, late at night 12am give or take

patient walks in through the ER, with a vacuum tube stuck up his nether regions
receptionist: Oh my goodness, what happened???
patient: i was vacuuming and had an accident.

accident... right...
lost it for a good 5 minutes or so listening to that, alas he did not take pics


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## miley_take (Nov 21, 2011)

Recharge said:


> you do know you have the right to refuse service right? simply TELL him he isn't in a fit state to be in the store and to go wash
> 
> there are limits to what one has to put up with.
> 
> and to the dick smith employee, there's NO way a dick smith chain is selling ANYTHING for ONLY $20 on top, especially a high price item like a TV



I am not saying that everything is marked so low, yes, there are products which aren't close to cost, allowing me to work something out, but like brownhash said, this time of year sales are starting and we're trying to move discontinued stock. I often have customers telling me I must be lying as "why would a company sell tv's that cheap and close to cost" until I in fact show them the computer screen displaying that exact information. 



BrownHash said:


> If an item is being sold for profit then the cost of the overheads, wages etc. have already been calculated into the sale price of the item. Also, lots of companies/businesses sell at near cost price to move out old stock to be replaced with newer models. The real estate that the item takes up is worth more than the loss made by selling it cheap. If you always try to sell at a huge profit no matter what you'll end up with a store with old items that nobody wants.
> 
> This thread makes me glad that I don't work retail or have to deal with people in a work environment.


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## Megzz (Nov 21, 2011)

miley_take said:


> I am not saying that everything is marked so low, yes, there are products which aren't close to cost, allowing me to work something out, but like brownhash said, this time of year sales are starting and we're trying to move discontinued stock. I often have customers telling me I must be lying as "why would a company sell tv's that cheap and close to cost" until I in fact show them the computer screen displaying that exact information.



My fiance has to do the same thing with the cars hes selling or people dont believe him.


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## hurcorh (Nov 21, 2011)

when i worked in a fruit and veg shop someone came in and asked if we sold cigarettes. and multiple customers would come in, grab an apple from the bottom of the stack and be all surprised when they topple all over the floor. then blame us.


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## Snakewoman (Nov 21, 2011)

The woman who owned the fruit and vege shop around the corner from me had a woman ask her where the use by date was on an apple


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## Kitah (Nov 21, 2011)

Tahlia said:


> The woman who owned the fruit and vege shop around the corner from me had a woman ask her where the use by date was on an apple



Should have told her that you don't need a use by date - they have an inbuilt mechanism that lets you know when you should no longer eat them- if they're firm- they're ok! If mushy, probably not ok.. Kinda like toothbrushes that have bristles which change colours, or kitchen clothes that change colours..


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## zeke (Nov 21, 2011)

I had a guy come into work today and demand a good deal on a new phone and plan or else he'll go to Vodafone I just thought to my self go on then.... But I had to be polite to the twat and the idiot still had like 300 to pay his contract out

I work in Optus so when ever something with a phone goes wrong it's automatically our fault even if it was something they did like smashing their phone then expecting us to give them a brand new one


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## vampstorso (Nov 22, 2011)

zeke said:


> I had a guy come into work today and demand a good deal on a new phone and plan or else he'll go to Vodafone I just thought to my self go on then.... But I had to be polite to the twat and the idiot still had like 300 to pay his contract out
> 
> I work in Optus so when ever something with a phone goes wrong it's automatically our fault even if it was something they did like smashing their phone then expecting us to give them a brand new one



I "love" when people complain about prices of things and go "tell your manager I won't be coming back" or "tell your manager I'm going to *insert rival store*"

yeahhhh buddy...'cause they really care if you do. but I wish you would! so we don't have to have dumb conversations like this one!


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## zeke (Nov 22, 2011)

I know or they try and make us give them a heaps good deal coz they and I quote have been with u guy since u started up I was one of ur first customers.
Ive heard it twice in 2 days. No one cares we have our deals that's it nothing else dont like it bugger off somewhere else


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## mysnakesau (Nov 22, 2011)

I work in a Deli at Coles. Last week had a guy ask me for a kilo of cheerios. I told him he would find them in the breakfast food aisle. He said, no, cheerios, these things - he pointed to the cocktail frankfurts. He said in NZ they're called cheerios.


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## Recharge (Nov 22, 2011)

mysnakesau said:


> I work in a Deli at Coles. Last week had a guy ask me for a kilo of cheerios. I told him he would find them in the breakfast food aisle. He said, no, cheerios, these things - he pointed to the cocktail frankfurts. He said in NZ they're called cheerios.



dude, they've been called that in QLD since the 40's, so it's not exactly new or strange on the mainland 
maybe you've been too sheltered in your life?


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## mysnakesau (Nov 22, 2011)

I've heard them be called 'Little Boys' and 'LBD's' but I can't say I've heard them be called Cheerios before. lol


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## Kitah (Nov 22, 2011)

I call them cheerios  I never even used to know what the breakfast cereal ones were lol. Mhmm I feel like buying some now..


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## jessieJEALOUSY (Nov 22, 2011)

Bunnings stores...

I work at the makita call center and all i have to say is bunnings staff...
Really you would like a price on that "circjigrouter"? Tell me, what is it that it does?

I really though bunnings had a very vigorous interviews and training, but a circjigrouter?! 
and if you call me up for a price on something, you gotta gimme something more than just, "it drills"?

I want to beat my head against a desk everytime one of them call us up haha


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## mysnakesau (Nov 22, 2011)

You can apply online, for a job at Bunnings, just like you can Coles, Woolies and any where else. Don't need to know which end of the nail goes into the timber, just need to know how to be nice and where stuff is kept on the shelves.


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## eitak (Nov 22, 2011)

Didn't happen to me, but today at bi-lo I was in the cue and heard this conversation between teh check out girl and a customer

Note: The shops have just started that system when you put in a dollar to unlock the trolley, then when you click teh lock back in you get your dollar back.

Customer: I won't be using the trollies anymore if you have to pay
Girl: You get you dollar back, it's just so people return the trollies
Customer: I won't use it, someone will put fake coins in there
Girl: But you put your dollar in to get the trolley, they when you put it back, you get your dollar back
Customer: That's if someone hasn't put a fake coin in there
Girl: Ok

HAHAHAH ***? so when your not looking someone is going to somehow get your coin out replace it with a fake coin, then when you put your trolley back you be skimped a dollar?
oh my


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## maddog-1979 (Nov 23, 2011)

my favourites were when i was working as a manager at woolworths. every night when i had to lock up so many people would try and get in as we are closing the doors and getting the last of the customers served and on their way. 

then they come up with emergency situations to try and get in. like we really need to get some baby formula, or femenine hygiene products, or i just need some milk and bread.

standard response to every one "sorry , but it is against trading regulations to allow entry after ...O'clock" to which they will then sytand ther for 5 mins, waiting for you ti turn around, and try and sneak in,lol

oh , and if they did say they wanted baby formula or something like that, i would offer to let a staff member go and get it, and put it through at the front counter, but then it always seemed they didnt need it that badly afterwards, cos i never had 1 person take me up on that in 7 years


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## mysnakesau (Nov 23, 2011)

eitak said:


> Didn't happen to me, but today at bi-lo I was in the cue and heard this conversation between teh check out girl and a customer
> 
> Note: The shops have just started that system when you put in a dollar to unlock the trolley, then when you click teh lock back in you get your dollar back.
> 
> ...



WE get this at work all the time. 

Another one I've had to deal with is

Customer: I'd like some double-smoked ham
ME: [I go to get the chub to cut some]
Customer: No, this one that is already cut up here will do
Me: That's not smoked, its normal ham.
Customer: Its double smoked.
Me: Ok. [So she gets normal leg ham.]

She came back in the next day for more. Again she asked for the double smoked. I looked at her and just got her the normal ham. I don't need to argue with the customers over what the meats are. The rules state they are always right so I guess that means they know my job better than I do.


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## Sezzzzzzzzz (Nov 23, 2011)

mysnakesau said:


> I've heard them be called 'Little Boys' and 'LBD's' but I can't say I've heard them be called Cheerios before. lol




Its a queensland thing. when I moved down to NSW, I asked for cheerios, and the girl behind the deli counter looked at me like i was crazy and directed me to the cereal aisle. I was amazed that i had to go to the breakfast cereal aisle to get something that I could see was right in front of the girl...


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## mysnakesau (Nov 24, 2011)

I had a customer who held my attention for over 15mins while he complained about the prices of our stuff. He buys his processed meats direct from PRIMO and ridiculed Coles for the mark up they have on the products, expecting that they should sell the same price as what they buy it from PRIMO. I tried explaining to him I don't make the prices, I only work here, I'll get the boss for him, but he totally ignored me as he dawdled his away along the DELI, meanwhile I've had to callout for assistance so others could come in and serve the other customers. AFter that incident, the boss told me that I can walk away from customers like that and call out to the who ever is on duty. I don't have to stand there and listen to crap like that. So I don't anymore.


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## Nighthawk (Nov 24, 2011)

maddog-1979 said:


> my favourites were when i was working as a manager at woolworths. every night when i had to lock up so many people would try and get in as we are closing the doors and getting the last of the customers served and on their way.
> 
> then they come up with emergency situations to try and get in. like we really need to get some baby formula, or femenine hygiene products, or i just need some milk and bread.
> 
> ...



I've turned up when the clock on the wall right next to the entrance has stated 10 minutes to close and have been turned away. It sucks that everyone makes those excuses, because I really was desperate for baby food (had nothing in the cupboards and I'm up all night if the wee one doesn't get his mush), my husband had had the car all day and it's not like we're in walking distance. If a manager had made me that offer I'd have snapped it up, but he just laughed in my face and said "whatever love"
It was pretty rude, but I don't blame him. I blame the people who use their kids as an excuse to browse for half an hour past close and hold everyone up. Next time you see one of those guys belt them for me will you? Because their lies are the norm I got about half an hour's sleep and a marathon breastfeeding session that night.


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## ashisnothereman (Nov 27, 2011)

i work in fresh produce and this woman comes in every week and inspects every god damn KP mango and then insist on going into the prep room and inspecting the entire stock of mangoes and then she doesnt buy any... the mangoes are freaking delicious!!


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## littlemay (Nov 27, 2011)

Had it again yesterday, man wants a particular sucking cat out of the tank (one that looks exactly the same as the other 25 or so in there) i tell him straight up that it's not gonna happen because i can't sit there for an hour and a half trying to catch this fish for him. He tells me it can't possibly be that hard and to just try... so i put my nets in the water and of course, the sucking cats scatter like mad things and he loses sight of the one he wants in a second. I asked him which one he wanted again, he just just stood there umming and ahhhing. Honestly sucking cats are the worst, give me barbs, give me cichlids, just no damn sucking cats!!!!


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## viciousred (Nov 27, 2011)

Littlemay I feel your pain, sucker fish and silver sharks are absolutly crap to catch 

I had a lady come in to work last week, her fish had white spots all over them (obviously white spot) But no she insisted its because she had to buy a different flake food as we dont stock the other one anymore, Even tho i said thats not going to help you need to put these little drops i... 'I have little drops at home for when i clean the tank already! I can just use those and clean everything! it was the food! I dont want to tell you how to do your job love but it was the food that did it, its rotting on the fish" Ok yep no worrys.... She buys a different food and proceeds to tell my boss how its the food hurting her fish and she is going to fix it....
righto

And my peave hate is when people by a brand new tank, and think it will be fine for fish in a few days. than com back and complain there fish are all dead 2 weeks later. Well i did tell you you had to cycle the tank...

I actually lost my **** at a woman on the phone, its kitten season so we get alot of people calling up wanting to know if we take them, we dont sell puppys or kittens, I work with orphaned and abandoned kittens so people not desexing there pets and expecting me to fix it ****** me off.
Anyway so she rings up and says very nicely hey there do you guys take kittens, and I said just as politely, no we dont sell puppies or kittens. next thing WHY the **** not? I just lost it and said well why the **** didnt you get your cat desexed? and hung up. ... I had to go out the back a breath for a little while.


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## Wookie (Nov 30, 2011)

Background - work in a pharmacy. Man is dropping in with a prescription for his wife.

Me: Has your wife had this medication before? 
Man: My wife is a registered nurse, she knows what she is doing. (condescending tone and smug look on his face)
Me: I didn't ask what your wife's job was, I asked if she has taken this medication in the past.
Man: I'd like to speak to your manager.....

FML

I should add that he was an infamous prat amongst my co-workers (boss included).


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## starr9 (Dec 1, 2011)

I have just got back from Sydney staying at Pots point. My best friend and I got off the train and we walked in to a newsagent to ask for directions. I think the people who are serving are Indian.

Best friend: Could you please tell me how to get to the Museum?
Sales assistant: Sorry?
BFf: I would like to know how to get to the museum please? could you tell me what direction I need to go?
Sales assistant: No we dont sell any of that.
BFf: Sorry Im asking you if you could help me find my way to the museum. Is there someone who can help me with that?
Sales assistant: (Turns to co-worker speaks to each other for a few moments in Indian I think) No sorry no english........
BfF: ok...... Thank you........
Sales assistant: Your very welcome! Please come again!

Bff and I walk away trying to find someone who may be able to help us when a lovely lady walks up and gives us directions. Turns out we just had to walk through a park to the other side........


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## shell477 (Dec 18, 2011)

bump


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## littlemay (Mar 3, 2012)

Thought i would bump this thread since i had a real charmer of a customer today, the b**** threw a product at me and threatened to go to Today Tonight when i didn't immediately refund her change of mind purchase. Honestly, some people are complete nut cases, ruined my day


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## MesseNoire (Mar 3, 2012)

littlemay said:


> Thought i would bump this thread since i had a real charmer of a customer today, the b**** threw a product at me and threatened to go to Today Tonight when i didn't immediately refund her change of mind purchase. Honestly, some people are complete nut cases, ruined my day



Ugh, I hate people that automatically assume they can refund whatever they want, whenever they want, why ever they want.
My last 2ic copped the same sort of thing, this lady threatened him by telling him she will be waiting for him after he finishes work, he just said "ha you don't know when I finish"
And then she threw a DVD at him XD
Anyways,
For a change of mind purchase the customers rights Do Not Apply.


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## Sezzzzzzzzz (Mar 3, 2012)

starr9 said:


> I have just got back from Sydney staying at Pots point. My best friend and I got off the train and we walked in to a newsagent to ask for directions. I think the people who are serving are Indian.
> 
> Best friend: Could you please tell me how to get to the Museum?
> Sales assistant: Sorry?
> ...




oh dear, welcome to sydney!! lol..


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## CrystalMoon (Mar 3, 2012)

I have worked in the cattle/hospitality industry(on many levels)for most of my adult life.... I could literally write a book on the rudeness and stupidity of customers. I will say that after managing a tourist concern in the Gulf for 5 years I wont work in the hospitality/retail industry again, each year people just became ruder and more demanding. I was always on my smug rug when patrons would demand to speak to the manager and I politely informed them they already were 
One of my real pet peeves was when guests would go into the private orchard and pick fruit, then become abusive when they were asked to hand over the fruit and leave the private grounds..... Or they would take it upon themselves to wander willy nilly through the Staff quarters and private grounds lol we had printed out maps of where guests could wander and where was out of bounds? I actually had staff pick/bag fruit one year and most guests complained because we asked for $5 a bag(big shopping bag) after all it was "free" nahhh of course we didnt have to employ groundskeepers to look after the orchard? It all just magically happened lol....
I sometimes think people leave their manners and brains at home..... I will say though, the last town I lived in would have to be the absolute worst for service! Very few retail staff were polite or helpful so I guess it can work both ways


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## dihsmaj (Mar 3, 2012)

starr9 said:


> I have just got back from Sydney staying at Pots point. My best friend and I got off the train and we walked in to a newsagent to ask for directions. I think the people who are serving are Indian.
> 
> Best friend: Could you please tell me how to get to the Museum?
> Sales assistant: Sorry?
> ...


Because Indian is a language.




I really don't want to work in retail. I know how dumb people can be.


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## SteveNT (Mar 3, 2012)

for sure CM. I had a bloke demand dolphins come to the boat. I was still laughing when I put him on the plane that afternoon....farewell moron!

When I was at Seven Spirit Bay the whole place was open to guests, Interaction was encouraged, I had Barry Humphries over to my place for dinner one night. It was a hoot.


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## snakeluvver (Mar 3, 2012)

dihsmaj said:


> Because Indian is a language.


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## PythonLegs (Mar 3, 2012)

I could double this thread easily...I'll go for a couple of regulars.

Me: Hi mate, I'll have to ask you to leave the club- you look like you've had enough to drink.
Dummy:**** off idiot.
Me: Well, you can leave, or I can throw you out. Up to you.
Dummy: go naway you thryd, I've only had one beer and thhuytd is my ghdyb, so **** OFF
Me: You've obviously had enough, you need to leave.
Dummy:**** off, I'll leave when I'm ready ya ****.
Me: No, you're leaving now.(open palm on dummys back, other hand motions toward door)
Dummy: DONT ****ING TOUCH ME (throws punch, misses, throws kick, about 1 foot away from my shin)
Dummy, now in standing shoulderlock:What the **** are you throwing me out for???? I didnt do nothing!!!!

I swear this happens 20 times every night.


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## littlemay (Mar 3, 2012)

Fractal_man said:


> Ugh, I hate people that automatically assume they can refund whatever they want, whenever they want, why ever they want.
> My last 2ic copped the same sort of thing, this lady threatened him by telling him she will be waiting for him after he finishes work, he just said "ha you don't know when I finish"
> And then she threw a DVD at him XD
> Anyways,
> For a change of mind purchase the customers rights Do Not Apply.



I just can't fathom how anyone could think it ok to throw something at a staff member, it's just so far beyond accepted social etiquette...


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## SteveNT (Mar 3, 2012)

Rather you than me bro. I can think of better things to do.



PythonLegs said:


> I could double this thread easily...I'll go for a couple of regulars.
> 
> Me: Hi mate, I'll have to ask you to leave the club- you look like you've had enough to drink.
> Dummy:**** off idiot.
> ...


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## greenhorn (Mar 3, 2012)

i'm a butcher so i get a few good ones, the best i can think of is;

customer: whats the difference between those sausages?
me: ones beef and ones pork.
customer: ohk.

now by the way one is red and one is white and all our products are labeld with names and prices


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## scurrilous (Mar 3, 2012)

oh my am i glad i found this thread, ill be on here every three days gosh lol. The amount i could already throw on here, i'm only 18 and have been in my current (retail) job at spotlight for almost 2 and a half years, one of my pet hates is the situation that occurs, not always as bad as this one from the other day, but still regularly.

(this was over the phone)

customer: I want to order some warrick fabric
me: im sorry but we dont actually stock warrick fabric
c: no but i want to order some
m: unfortunently i cant order anything we dont stock
c: no i want to order some, ive spoken to warrick and they said i can order it from you but they dont sell to the public
m: im sorry but i cant order a fabric we dont stock
at this point the customer went bat ***** crazy and demanded to 'speak to someone else'
m: okay ill pop you through to a manager
after i paged the call to a manager my coworkers were looking at me like 'what the hell was that all about'
the store manager picked up the call (which is VERY unusual) obviously heard the frustration in my voice, and gave the woman essentially the same response, to which she demanded we source the fabric and warrick had given her the price, our manager said 'its not up to warrick to decide the price of our stock, especially an item that we dont stock at all and would have to source' 
all in all the woman is paying 70$ for 1 metre of fabric that she could have got elsewhere

we have plenty of crazies at work and this wasnt the worst of the day


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## PythonLegs (Mar 3, 2012)

SteveNT said:


> Rather you than me bro. I can think of better things to do.



Meh- it has its ups and downs mate. No paperwork, decent money, free alcohol and I get daytime free to finish my psych degree and my writing. Idiots are the downside, but even then every so often one will have a go outside of cctv range, and then you get to release all that built up frustration..


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## miss_mosher (Mar 3, 2012)

I work in a fashion store that doesn't give refunds either (unless the item is faulty of course,) my pet hate is getting crazy biatches screaming at me because they watched 60 minutes who said we have to refund. Well study contract law idiots, pretty sure that'll override 60 minutes any day. 

Also, I could not contain the laughter when an Asian lady started screaming at my manager because the clothes are made in Asia and they're Asian sizes designed to fit Asians. Hahahaha priceless. (not being racist either, she had a VERY strong accent).


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## cwebb (Mar 4, 2012)

Working in a deli..
Customer: can i get 300 grams of shaved ham
me: yep... is 310 okay?
Customer: nah take some out

GRRRRRR


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## Rattus (Mar 4, 2012)

strangest question was a true "derp" moment. i work at a pet shop (pretty awesome job) and a man came in looked at all out tanks, and got to the cichlids and asked if the sand in the cichlid tank was wet... i said well it is in water with the fish... he went on telling me how it looks dry... OMG!!! the sand is in water with fish, yes the freakin sand is wet! just like everything else in the tank!!


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## disintegratus (Mar 4, 2012)

As part of my job, we take incoming calls for the emergency maintenance line for Office of Housing tenants. I've been threatened that someone's going to kill me, sue me, get me fired etc, on a fairly regular basis. I've had people LOSING THEIR **** at me because I won't send an afterhours contractor out to fix their freaking blinds in the middle of the night, or have the audacity to tell them that just because they have 5 children, we can't get a contractor there any quicker.
My favourite call though so far:

Tenant(Still fairly okay at this point): "I'm calling on behalf of my mother *insert name here*, The roof's leaking blah blah blah"
Me: "Not a problem, and what's your name?"
Tenant(Word for word):"My name's Jason, I'm me mother's son"

It just got better from there.

Another one(Quite obviously under the influence of something):
Me: "And what's your name?"
Tenant: "Chris, Christy, Christina, oh, I don't even know anymore"

I love it when they go mental, I hang up on them, then 5 minutes later they call back being all pleasant. It's like they realised that we're the only ones who can help them with their issue.

I have to bite my tongue sometimes. I've lost count of the amount of times when I've told them it may be several hours before we can get someone there that I've had them ask "I've got 7 kids here, what do you want me to do?" Uhhh... keep your legs shut love, that's what I want you to do!!!


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## littlemay (Mar 4, 2012)

Rattus said:


> strangest question was a true "derp" moment. i work at a pet shop (pretty awesome job) and a man came in looked at all out tanks, and got to the cichlids and asked if the sand in the cichlid tank was wet... i said well it is in water with the fish... he went on telling me how it looks dry... OMG!!! the sand is in water with fish, yes the freakin sand is wet! just like everything else in the tank!!



You would truly be surprised how often i hear this one...

Customer: 'What colour is that rabbit?

Me: 'Which one?'

Customer: 'The brown one'

Me: '... um, it's Brown'


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## zeke (Mar 4, 2012)

I work at Optus so we get lots of these moments like the other day a customer was abusing a staff member coz we wouldn't take a 2 cent coin to pay his bill he then asked to speak to the manager..... What he didnt know was he was taking to the manager hahha needless to say he was still abusing her and said he's going to put a complaint in because of it...
then you get moments like I had yesterday where I girl that was with a guy I was serving had a bigger beard the the man she was with


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## Marlinman (Mar 4, 2012)

Happy to see its not just me who has to put up with tossers all day at work. Some people have no idea and nothing better to do than complain about the weather.


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## GeckoJosh (Mar 4, 2012)

littlemay said:


> You would truly be surprised how often i hear this one...
> 
> Customer: 'What colour is that rabbit?
> 
> ...



They probably want to know what type of colour "brown" it is, as in Agouti, chocolate etc, there are quite a few types of brown rabbits.


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## littlemay (Mar 4, 2012)

I am aware. Trust me, these people do not know this much about rabbits. They are the same people that usually point to guinea pigs and ask what they are.


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## Manda1032 (Mar 4, 2012)

Ahhh love this thread. Had a good read. I'll probably post every day I have a shift at work! I have always worked in some form with customer service/ retail/ hospitality. To those who swear they never will, suck it up princesses 90% of jobs these days involve working with people in some form. be it public or other employees! 
I have so many stories, the usual crap, at the petrol station daily it's the whole no smoking and why? put the jerry can on the ground and why? no mobiles etc. Had tonnes of douches ask why they couldn't have that fish and that fish and that fish and you explain that ones a goldfish ones a cichlid and ones a freakin Wrasse! (salt water for those who don't know fish) At the pet store I worked at last tho the staff had the right to refuse a sale. So if the stupidity just kept on going and they weren't listening I could refuse to sell the animal. we also had codes on the bottom of our reciepts so if they returned cause the fish etc died it would say NR (not recommended) etc and the senior staff refused refund.
I also had stupid cold callers trying to sell me ****** when I was working on a switchboard for the Dept of defence. You'd always reply " did you just not listen to what I just said? I answered Department of defence. This is a switchboard, I'm not gonna buy your telco's offer. Goodbye" In the end we'd just hang up! Being on the switchboard we were the front line for the Army base. Don't know if anyone remembers the incident in Townsville with some 10FSB members and some kittens.... if you do (I shouldn't be typing this but I didn't sign a gag order) We had calls from all over AUS and even some fromn the UK and USA abusing the ****** out of us poor civie switchboard operators! Feel sorry for the PR worker who eneded up getting those calls, they would have got it just as bad as us.
I've heard most of the stories on here like they were my own (accept the gun. TOUCH WOOD I have not experienced that) 
I have regular BO customers, regular oldies that should really be in homes or a carer at least. Douches who love to argue, a germaphobe OCD who loves to tell me how we should all kill snakes, some regulars who always tell me their sad life story and be damned who's waiting behind them. Slow *** buggers who take their sweet time etc Boss had one who said they used a divining rod on the fuel and the E10 is not 91% octane, poor 2IC was there and she quickly excused herself and P****d herself LOL out the back. But I have had one that I wish the camera's had sound, would put it on funniest video's. I've worked in these industries for over half my life and nothing, NOTHING prepared me for this one.
A lady, 30's dressed nicely. Clean and had a well maintained car about 10 yr old. Came in, usual niceties etc said she was having a bad week. I said that's no good. She proceeded to tell me how she's been to bris for hospital tests etc cause on the Wensday night she was abducted by aliens and had been anal probed. That we should all be careful, cause they'll be back and do it again. I just stood there with my mouth open. She was serious, said it straight faced and all. All I could say was that's and exit only area no entry allowed and put my hand on my butt. She smiled and said yeah I know and left. I PMSLOL for a good 10 minutes, had tears rolling down my cheeks and everything. Didn't know what to do.
I'm still waiting to trump that one.


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## Rattus (Mar 4, 2012)

Theres no proof aliens dont actually do that.. 

Still funny as! Petrol stations would bring many stories. I work in a pet shop. Makes u realize how stupid ppl are.


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## Manda1032 (Mar 4, 2012)

I've worked in 4 pet stores, one petrol station, Dept of defence switchboard twice, Ice creamery, Shire council and teachers aid twice and the worst interactions by far were one pet store and the petrol station. It's a great shift if I don't have to tell someone not to do something!


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## Surroundx (Mar 4, 2012)

I work at a nursery (largest wholesale in the southern hemisphere actually). I don't really deal with customers much, not my department. But you always get people asking how big things grow. I just look on the label and then tell them. But they don't seem to learn because I do they same thing another half dozen times for the same customer. But the customer who takes the cake was a middle-aged lady who asked me why there were the different prices for the same variety of plant (actually because of the different sized pots obviously). She thought it was because of the different coloured pots in the same size. A red pot was $8.50 and a yellow pot was $55. I mean, seriously....


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## Manda1032 (Mar 4, 2012)

my fave hate atm is Sundays. I'm in a small town and we open at 7.30am. It's quiet on sundays, barely a soul about sometimes and all the stuff is outside. The paper stand, oil stand, traffic cones etc and customers pull up and cause they can't see me standing behind the register ( window tinting near counters are great) they walk up open the door and say "Are you open?" I soooo wanna say " Nah mate I just enjoy standing here on a sunday!":facepalm: 


Love that emocon!


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## Stompsy (Mar 13, 2012)

I work for a telco, actually the one everyone blames for everything. My pet peeves are arrogance, pompous ****ers and screamers. 

My favorites are crazy people. One guy gave me a bunch of YouTube videos to watch documenting the presence of dragons on the dark side of the moon. 

Another guy just continuously screamed 'take the barring off' over and over at me until I hung up. There was no barring on his phone. My partner had the same customer and in the end the guys mum got on the phone and lied to him saying it was done. 

Also had people state that people were listening to them through there electrical appliances. 

I think a cops job would be the worst though. My exs brother told us of a guy who would call 000 every week because he was convinced someone was sticking a camera up his bath drain hole to film him.


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## miss_mosher (Mar 13, 2012)

I had a telemarketer tonight at dinner time tell me to stop eating dinner with my family, shut up and listen to her holiday deal. Hahahaha I'm still in shock.


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## Manda1032 (Mar 14, 2012)

omg she must have had a bad day!


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## Beard (Mar 14, 2012)

Well, I had this one freak come to my door to buy some heroin and............oops, nuff said


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## miss_mosher (Mar 14, 2012)

Manda1032 said:


> omg she must have had a bad day!



I'm waiting for her call, can't wait to chat with that sweet pea again! I'm gonna threaten her that I've got her details for the office of fair trade regarding our number being on the do not call call register, unless she gives me this holiday package for free.... Hahaha I'm awesome.

Just to add to this, the next customer that mentions effing 60 minutes when they don't get their stupid, spoilt way, I am going to junkpunch so hard!! GAAAHH!! *vent*


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## littlemay (Mar 18, 2012)

Customer: Do rabbits need water?

Me: *not sure if serious or just stupid*


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## Stompsy (Mar 18, 2012)

littlemay said:


> Customer: Do rabbits need water?
> 
> Me: *not sure if serious or just stupid*



People are stupid. That's what the thread title should be.


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## Manda1032 (Mar 20, 2012)

Got called into work yesterday to cover a shift. On my way home a hyundai decided I was going too slow and overtook me and flung up a rock that has cracked Rose's windscreen. Rose is my 1997 Rover Mini Mayfair.... I said quite a few words and gestures that were not seen. The crack is 1/3 the height of her windscreen and the roads are crap so it's jolted another 2cm in length. I'm moping at home today


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## Stompsy (Mar 28, 2012)

Call just taken: (customer had a speech impediment)

Me: how can I help you?
Customer: my internet..... (muffled and slurred speech which I could not understand)...
Me: I'm sorry, I didn't quite get what you were saying?
Customer: Don't worry, I'll call back tomorrow when someone is willing to listen 

He then hung up before I had a chance to respond! I understand it would be frustrating to have to repeat yourself but I'm not sure what he was expecting me to say if I can't understand him!!

I've had such a bad night! Grr!


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## longqi (Mar 28, 2012)

Not really a customer but a royal pain

Aussie guy owns a string of villas and bars
Asked me about catching some cobras hanging round 3 villas
Got a phone call
He had trapped and caught a big cobra
Safely contained just needs pick up and release
Get there and the lousy mongrel wants me to buy it off him
Told him No way because we relocate snakes for free
Tells me he wants $100 for it so I burst out laughing and left
Rang me an hour later to tell me hes sold it for $5.......
would have ended up in a restaraunt 

Better half had to stop me going back round there

An hour later an Indonesian family without a zack between them rang about a big snake
Loveliest bali retic Ive ever seen in their yard
Will take photos of it tomorrow but a gorgeous snake
Poor poor people and they wanted to give me money for helping them

Some days are diamonds


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## Manda1032 (Mar 28, 2012)

Poor dears! Just grateful it wasn't hurt!


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## artolicus (Mar 28, 2012)

littlemay said:


> My favourite is gumpies and goopies for guppies =p
> 
> I've had some weird customers come in before...
> 
> ...


ROFPMSL!!

How much does a flea retail for these days? buhahaha


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## Manda1032 (Mar 30, 2012)

depends on it's breed! Oh and if it's trained LOL


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## SYNeR (Mar 30, 2012)

akarsha said:


> People are stupid. That's what the thread title should be.



Spot on.


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## dragonlover1 (Mar 30, 2012)

world is full of idiotss

I wouldn't do retail for this exact reason,people are morons who expect everything to be perfect.....but put the shoe on the other foot and they'll give nothing


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## Manda1032 (May 11, 2012)

I just had some drop kick Indian call centre (insert stars here) Call me. we are on the do not call register for this reason, the only time the phone rang was for someone to sell stuff to us. As soon as the 4th hello got a reply and I heard the accent I said no thank you and hung up! THE (insert stars here) Called me back and abused me!!! Had a go at me for hanging up on him told me he loved me then abused me some more before I hung back up!!! What's this world comming to?


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## mysnakesau (May 11, 2012)

He loves you? Hahahahaa, thats funny. I hang up on them, too. I don't even reply when they say hello. Sometimes I sit the phone on a shelf and leave them talking to themselves


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## Manda1032 (May 11, 2012)

next time I'm going to unleash my potty mouth! Call me back and abuse ME All I said was no thank you and hung up!


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## shell477 (Feb 5, 2013)

Its been a while since this thread was started, and especially with the christmas rush just gone does anyone have any new stories to share?


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## Stompsy (Feb 5, 2013)

Lol I have one every shift!


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## Jacknife (Feb 5, 2013)

12 years of running bars and I have lost count of all the stories I have.
One memorable one was when a guy(use the term loosely, about as redneck bogan trash as you could imagine) who had been drinking for several hours came up to the bar and demanded another drink off me after I had already cut him off. He pulled out a full on Crocodile Dundee style bowie knife on me!
Now where I worked at the time is a mainly outdoor venue with the bars built into old vaults and you serve through windows.
The windows are quite large and very thick for security purposes and so weigh about 220-250kg's each, and are spring loaded so you can raise and lower them easily. The one through which this was all happening had busted springs and was being propped up by a piece of wood...
When he raised the knife my brain kicked in and I swiftly swung my arm and knocked out the piece of wood. 
In a flash the 220kg window came slamming down onto his outstretched arm.
The window completely scrushed, almost severing his forearm(oops!)

Was absolutely hilarious hearing him scream obscenities and claim he was gonna press charges on me as he was being put into the back of the ambulance cuffed to gurney and ascorted by two police officers hahahaha.

We watched the CCTV footage of that at least once a month when we were having a few 'extra' knock offs, or when a new staff member joined for the rest of my time there which was about another 2 years hahahaha.


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## shell477 (Sep 6, 2013)

bump!


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## CrystalMoon (Sep 7, 2013)

I have just started back in retail(swore I never would lol)Surprisingly in the last couple of days I have only had 2 rude people to deal with. Most of the customers have been lovely  I hope it continues


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## Cypher69 (Sep 7, 2013)

I was getting tattooed recently when in the other booth, the tattooist was slowly losing patience with his client....an idiot who was complaining that his girlfriend's name was tattooed backwards...when he looked at it in the mirror.


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## CrystalMoon (Sep 7, 2013)

Was in Target this morning and was being served by this lovely young girl, another customer walked up to the counter and without so much as an excuse me proceeded to fire questions at the young girl. By this stage two more Shop Assistants were available, all 3 had not been able to get a word in. When the Battle Axe finally drew breath, The young Lass attending me answered her questions. The Dragon lady spat a reply dripping in un-necessary sarcasm, then without so much as a thank-you spun on her heel and marched off :x I was furious with her lack of manners and just plain rude behaviour ggggrrrrr I turned to the shocked Girls and apologized profusely for the disgustingly rude behaviour they received from the elderly woman. I then commended them on their lovely manners and the fact they were still polite at all times during her tirade. My 9 year old Daughter was amazed (in a bad way) by the old Beezlebub's demeanor, but very impressed by the young Shop Assistants politeness


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## Jeannine (Sep 7, 2013)

zeke said:


> I work at Optus so we get lots of these moments like the other day a customer was abusing a staff member coz we wouldn't take a 2 cent coin to pay his bill he then asked to speak to the manager..... What he didnt know was he was taking to the manager hahha needless to say he was still abusing her and said he's going to put a complaint in because of it...
> then you get moments like I had yesterday where I girl that was with a guy I was serving had a bigger beard the the man she was with



please dont riducle women with hormone imbalances, there but for the grace of god go someone you love


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## Jacknife (Sep 10, 2013)

CrystalMoon said:


> Was in Target this morning and was being served by this lovely young girl, another customer walked up to the counter and without so much as an excuse me proceeded to fire questions at the young girl. By this stage two more Shop Assistants were available, all 3 had not been able to get a word in. When the Battle Axe finally drew breath, The young Lass attending me answered her questions. The Dragon lady spat a reply dripping in un-necessary sarcasm, then without so much as a thank-you spun on her heel and marched off :x I was furious with her lack of manners and just plain rude behaviour ggggrrrrr I turned to the shocked Girls and apologized profusely for the disgustingly rude behaviour they received from the elderly woman. I then commended them on their lovely manners and the fact they were still polite at all times during her tirade. My 9 year old Daughter was amazed (in a bad way) by the old Beezlebub's demeanor, but very impressed by the young Shop Assistants politeness



Why on earth would you apologize for a strangers rude behavior?


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## Rlpreston (Sep 10, 2013)

Badsville said:


> Why on earth would you apologize for a strangers rude behavior?



I do that too. It's more of a general "sorry to see what you have to put up with just to do your job" than taking responsibility.


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## BeZaKa (Sep 10, 2013)

This thread is AWESOME. After reading the whole thing this morning I may just miss my therapy session this week 

Ill quickly share two stories. I use to manage a health club many moons ago in a rather rough area. One customer came up to the rather high reception counter and was asked for their membership card, she asked for a minute to get it out of her handbag. At this point she squatted down whilst riffling through her handbag and I lost sight of her behind the counter. I got busy and forgot all about her. 10 odd minutes later another member walks in and looks down and suggests I have a look. I walk around the counter and find the aforementioned lady sprawled on the floor, syringe still stuck in arm, unconscious on the floor. Grabbed the phone, speed dialled the cops who where there in 5 minutes flat to remove her. 

Story two. Same Health Club, left at 10.30ish pm after closing went down the lift. Doors opened on the ground floor to find one of our male patrons.... shall we say....pleasuring himself. Saw me, didn't stop. 

I've gotten out of that game now, way too many stories. Thanks to the OP great thread.


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## CrystalMoon (Sep 10, 2013)

Badsville said:


> Why on earth would you apologize for a strangers rude behavior?


I apologized for the stranger's rude behavior because I was mortified that these young shop assistants were subjected to such un-necessary rudeness. They were cheerful, polite, very helpful and I could see that they were saddened by the crotchety rude old woman. I felt they deserved an apology and were not going to get one from the perpetrator of rudeness, so they may as well get one from me


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## bigcatbeastess (Sep 10, 2013)

I work in a boarding kennel and all pets in our care are required to have specific vaccinations, we tell people constantly that this is so. Yet it always seems to be our fault that the customer hasn't their pets vaccinations updated for 4 years. "Well why didn't you tell me fluffies needles were due?" Gee why didn't I tell you 4 years ago thet YOUR dogs vaccinations needed doing, even though this is the first time in my life I have met you. 
They always say "Can't you just do it now!" I'm not a vet mate, it's your responsibility.


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## saintanger (Sep 11, 2013)

you think customers are bad, lol. all i can say is those customers have children

i worked for many years in child care, i have since left and have no plans to go back.

i have been stabbed with a pencil, spat on, hit, bitten, kicked, sworn at, had food thrown at me and had a chair thrown at me.

i'v had 2-4 year olds bring knifes to pre-school and threaten staff and other children. 3 year olds bringing mobiles to pre-school and calling their parents and demanding to be picked up. one bought a lighter and tried to light the place on fire and laughed wen i stopped him and told him it was dangerous.

been abused by parents multiple times cause their little brat complains that some kid picks on them and that the staff do nothing wen the truth is their kid is the bully.

had one 4 year old girl licking the teddy bears crotch and i asked why she was doing that and she said because daddy does it to mummy.

most of these kids parents don't work and therefor pay $1 a day to have them at childcare/ pre-school, while they sit a home.

i had one mum who did not work at all and had her son enrolled 5 days a week and always complained she needed a break.

i had one mother who had her 3 year old son enrolled for 2 months and i was close with the kid he was a great kid, she told me she had no family/ friends support (because she was in witness protection from her ex) and needed a night out and asked if i would have her son over night for $50. she literally begged me and the kid begged me to have him over night, so i asked my boss and she said it was fine. so on friday after work i took him out to dinner then went home watched movies and played kiddy games. i had her mobile number and it was arranged she would collect him from my house at 11am. by 12pm she had not come so i called and her phone was switched off. i kept ringing every 30 min, finally at 5pm her friend answered her phone and asked me to drop him off home for them as they were not feeling well. so i dropped him off, the mother did not even come out to apologies, her friend who i recognised from coming with her to drop off the kid came out grabbed the kid, yelled at him to get in and walked back in. she was very much hung over.

he came back to pre-school for the next 2 weeks then she never bought him back to pre school we tried contacting her and never got in contact with her.


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## Lawra (Sep 11, 2013)

...I'm speechless :|


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## Rlpreston (Sep 11, 2013)

Oh this thread is great! 

I worked as a fast food manager for 5 years before I got married. I had the pleasure of managing stores in such places as Broadmeadows, Craigieburn, Roxburgh Park, Northland (Preston) in Vic and Palmerston NT. I couldn't even begin to express all the amazing behaviour I've seen!

The highlight would have to be:

After being banned from the store for engaging in a knife fight (in which I was inadvertently pepper sprayed :S) a group of 'men' returned days later and waited for me to walk outside with an order to a car. They pulled up beside me and grabbed me by the ankles trying to pull me into the car. I managed to escape and run inside as they proceeded to yell that they would kill me and send my body to another country, never to be found! 

Talk about being crazy about burgers! 

The same 'men' were later arrested after an armed robbery at the next closest store in the chain :/


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## Performa (Sep 11, 2013)

Lawra said:


> ...I'm speechless :|



Yeah thats very sad. Alot of people seem to forget that being a parent is a life long commitment regardless of any situation your kids come first. Sometimes I think some parents dont deserve to have kids.


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## Rlpreston (Sep 11, 2013)

Performa said:


> Yeah thats very sad. Alot of people seem to forget that being a parent is a life long commitment regardless of any situation your kids come first. Sometimes I think some parents dont deserve to have kids.



Agreed! 

I wish there were some kind of licensing system to go through before you are allowed children! There seem to be a lot of 'parents' these days who are constantly putting their wants ahead of kids needs. Very sad indeed  

FYI, my kids rule this house! Lol


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## saintanger (Sep 11, 2013)

here is another one, both parents are unemployed and this 2 year old went to child care from 6.30am to 6.30pm literally the moment i opened the door till i locked up at 6.30pm

me: hi, i am ringing you to let you know your child has nits and center policy states she must be picked up and her hair be treated before she returns to pre-school
father: i'm to busy to get her
me: can you organise for her mum or a family member to pick her up?
father: NO we are to busy and she got the nits from you's
me: wen can you pick her up? 
father: 6.30pm
me: ok, thank you.

wen he came to pick her up i asked nicely that they treat her hair. he said he would and left.

next day she came back with nits, i asked if mum or dad had done her hair she said no.

me: hi, i need you to pick up your daughter and treat her hair for nits
father: i'm to busy and so is her mum
me: then can i treat her hair for nits
father: yeah do what you want.

so during my lunch break i treated her hair and she loved it. 2 weeks later she had nits again but no other kids had nits in her class. so i gathered she was getting it from home.


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## albinowoma (Sep 11, 2013)

$1/day daycare? where the hell is that????? but yeah some sort of better regulations need to be set up, esp for the inbreds/lowlifes haveing kids. if you are fat and your kid is fat too, you should be charged with child abuse. straight up and as simple as that... i think its disgusting and lazy parenting. it will be deemed as child abuse sooner or later, there has been a similar case in the usa about something along the lines of bad parents. teach your own kids the damm basics you lazy pieces of s..ts.


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## saintanger (Sep 11, 2013)

albinowoma said:


> $1/day daycare? where the hell is that????? but yeah some sort of better regulations need to be set up, esp for the inbreds/lowlifes haveing kids. if you are fat and your kid is fat too, you should be charged with child abuse. straight up and as simple as that... i think its disgusting and lazy parenting. it will be deemed as child abuse sooner or later, there has been a similar case in the usa about something along the lines of bad parents. teach your own kids the damm basics you lazy pieces of s..ts.



$1 a day is for non working parents and single parents on centerlink for up to 3 days a week they can have their kid there for $1 a day and centerlink pays the rest. dunno if its still the same or not.


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## albinowoma (Sep 11, 2013)

-firstly.. thanks to shell477 for bumping this all the time  surprised this isnt so much longer and updated daily lol

i am at a jobsearching place atm and asked about the $1 thing and a couple of girls laughed at me about that price so i dont know if its a diff state costing thing or some deal done like the parents benefits scheem or what?

i have worked in a aquarium shop in a certain lower class suburb in sthrn bris for 10 years, and must say i dont have kids which mayb factored into what i said above and what i will say...

in regards to first aid, technically if you youch that person in any way, they can sue you for assault (esp if you break a rib dont know common? doing cpr and/or puncture a lung. the police wont do anything against you, but if the fool thinks he/she might be able to get some free money, they might try to -
sue you. these cases are starting to happen more often and waste the courts time, you can thank the yanks for that and the morons here with that mentallity.hopefully better judgement along the way to the court room would prevail, you are better off leave them on the floor and wait till the police or ambulance get there, afterall you are not trained to help them. and even if you are... if i got a disease from helping them, what then. you have to be careful you dont get stuck with a needle, blood,saliva bodily fluids ect aids.

again, security guards are useless. i did a guards course and you are not allowed to touch anyone=assault. physically stop them from leaveing= deprevation of liberty. thanks america. they are allowed to only watch and follow the thief and wait till the police turn up. technically- someone can walk into your store and take anything they want and you can not stop them. realistically that may not happen and haveing the staff and or owners to stand there and watch this happen, i m sure just isnt going to happen. bouncers are diff, i didnt do that section at the time. the course was a bit dodgy too coz i top scored in the shooting part and they down graded the score to like 70% "because if i had to shoot someone, seeing as i am that good of a shot i should've been able to shoot the knife/gun out of his hand" ...I KNOW!!! more american movie bulldust and lawsuit crapolla. and if you are doing an armed escort (i think at the time it was only for money and valuables like gems ect- not for protecting people, that you were to carry guns) if you shot someone, well YOU would be the one in the wrong and more trouble then it was really worth.


the term "the customer is always right" was coined in 1902...

the conditions of sale and the type of customer has changed so much since then and has widely been accepted as being for lack of better terminology, a load of rubbish these days around the world. ................petshops


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## Ramsayi (Sep 11, 2013)

albinowoma said:


> in regards to first aid, technically if you youch that person in any way, they can sue you for assault (esp if you break a rib dont know common? doing cpr and/or puncture a lung. the police wont do anything against you, but if the fool thinks he/she might be able to get some free money, they might try to -
> sue you. these cases are starting to happen more often and waste the courts time, you can thank the yanks for that and the morons here with that mentallity.hopefully better judgement along the way to the court room would prevail, you are better off leave them on the floor and wait till the police or ambulance get there, afterall you are not trained to help them. and even if you are... if i got a disease from helping them, what then. you have to be careful you dont get stuck with a needle, blood,saliva bodily fluids ect aids.




Not true.We have laws in place in this country to protect "good samaritans" such as Section 57 of the Civil Liability Act.
Everyone has a moral responsibility to help others who are in trouble.No wonder the country is turning to crap because of people not wanting to get involved.


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## Leasdraco (Sep 11, 2013)

This is a great thread! I work at an animal park with friendly roos that love being fed. Only problems are when you get tourists manhandling the poor animals like just last week I had to tell someone who had a Joey in a headlock to hold it still for a photo to cut it out.


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## caliherp (Sep 11, 2013)

Ramsayi said:


> Not true.We have laws in place in this country to protect "good samaritans" such as Section 57 of the Civil Liability Act.
> Everyone has a moral responsibility to help others who are in trouble.No wonder the country is turning to crap because of people not wanting to get involved.



California has similar good samareitans laws. We also have the same problem with people not wanting to get involved. The mane reason people over here don't get involved is because to many people were getting sued. I acculy teach CPR classes part time and most of my students still think you can get sued.


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## albinowoma (Sep 11, 2013)

damm it i just did another segment about the shops and its dissapeared.. oh well the caffiiiine has just worn off anyway. i will redo the aquarium thing later when i m on the comp again and not the phone.

theres a diff in not getting involved with a drug trucked p.o.s and someone thats broken the wrist in a fall or something. and i am not going to risk my life for a druggie no matter what you say think or do. do it yourself and get aids or hep b.c ect. as for getting involved, i have stepped in, when someone has been picking on another person, we all know the type i mean.. and helped out with other things. where ther is a large group or alot of people going past, the less chance there is someone helping. experiments have been done on this. no one wants to been seen outside the norm and to be seen as differnet,or to stand out. you have more chance of someone helping you the less people there are around. ironic isnt it. 

we would all like to think that we would step in if needed to, but reality is that most wouldnt. and dont.


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## Ramsayi (Sep 11, 2013)

The fact is that no one has ever been sued in this country as a result of being a good samaritan.If I am wrong I would love for you to show me an example.Maybe the fact that people wont get involved helping someone in need is because of misinformation that gets bandied about as though it were fact.


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## Cypher69 (Sep 11, 2013)

Ramsayi said:


> No wonder the country is turning to crap because of people not wanting to get involved.



Point is, there's always 2 sides to every incident. I remember once seeing this guy utterly abuse this woman on the street to the point that she was in tears cowering in fear. I watched for several minutes hoping that somebody had called the cops but when the guy started to get a bit more physical, grabbing her arm & trying to drag her away, I intervened & held the guy long enough for the woman to get off the ground, stagger across the street & hail a cab.

The guy literally broke down crying in my arms...turns out he had just found out that morning that the woman was cheating on him with some guy she met online. She was flying off the next day with their 2 yr old son & refused to tell him hat country she was moving to.

I felt like a total d-bag for not only interfering but also for taking the "helpless woman's side".


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## Ramsayi (Sep 11, 2013)

Cypher69 said:


> Point is, there's always 2 sides to every incident.



But we are talking about offering first aid to someone that is injured,not getting involved in domestic disputes.


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## slide (Sep 11, 2013)

I thought we were talking about stories about customers not domestic disputes or first aid. 
Funny how these threads get so off track that we forget what the thread is about.
This is a great thread, there are some cracker stories. Gotta love the crazies


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## Performa (Sep 12, 2013)

Say NO to domestic violence.

What was this thread about???


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## Lawra (Sep 12, 2013)

What was bad about my post???


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## andynic07 (Sep 12, 2013)

Lawra said:


> What was bad about my post???


Your a very very bad person.lol I didn't even get to see what either of you two put.


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## Lawra (Sep 12, 2013)

andynic07 said:


> Your a very bad person



Sometimes  lol


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## littlemay (Sep 22, 2013)

Thought i would add to this thread following a real charmer of a customer that i had yesterday.

This man was let in _after_ close, along with a couple of other customers who insisted they just needed to grab one thing. As the shop was closed, all registers had either been settled, or were in the process of settling except for one, where i was putting through the final transactions. There was a line of maybe 5 people, with this 'gentleman' being at the end of the queue, so there was a bit of a wait which i apologised to each customer for.

At some point a woman walked up and began asking another staff member at the counter(who had finished their shift i might add) for advice on something, she was not purchasing anything. For some reason this man seemed to think i had allowed this woman to somehow 'cut in front of him' and became enraged at me when he reached me at the register. He spoke to me incredibly condescendingly, sarcastically asking me if i knew what the word 'queue' meant and even going so far as to spell 'queue' out for me. 

I attempted to explain to him that only register was open and this woman was only asking for advice from another staff member, she was not in the line to be served. He didn't allow me to speak, instead calling me and my co-workers names. He threw his card at me upon payment and critised my ability 'to even work a till'. He then said 'it's no wonder you work in retail' and asked to speak to my manager. When my manager arrived he began calling her and all other staff incompetent idiots. She politely told him that if he was going to lower himself to name calling he would have to leave the store, which he did. We found the trolley he had used upturned in the middle of the empty carpark.


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## Kopeht (Sep 23, 2013)

I work in a big company pet store (Prefer not to say which lol) In Morayfield, QLD. won't go too much into some of the the interesting inhabitants of the place but let's just say indicators are optional in some areas. I often get people come in asking what deal I can do them for fish, I was catching a few angel fish for one bloke and he was adamant on getting one fish free because it was slightly smaller than the others.
Ignoring the fact the fish we sell are young and have much growing to do, the fish was perfectly healthy...
Fancy coming int a pet store and wanting free fish lol


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## Lawra (Sep 23, 2013)

I work in a burger cafe where we make everything from scratch incl sauces and cook everything to order. 

A guy phones this morning and wanted a burger but then abused me for about 10 mins because we don't do fresh grilled pineapple. We don't do pineapple at all because it goes off too quickly. I mean ugh we have a menu for a reason. If it's not listed as an extra, it doesn't exist in our kitchen. 

Must have been the day for it because a lady rang up this afternoon not knowing what she wanted and made me read her the entire menu. We had no customers so I did, even though it was stupid, because it was so irritating especially because at the end if the convo she said "cool I just live around the corner, I'll be there in 5". I made sure to put 5 take away menus in her bag. Ugh. 

Not to mention it's the start of school holidays and I have to put up with a dining room full of teeny boppers who buy a bottle of water as an excuse to sit in the store, then proceed to be noisy and whiny. 

Ahh end rant.


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## Varanoidea (Sep 23, 2013)

I think working in retail we tend to forget those who are polite and instead take notice of those who aren't.


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## Lawra (Sep 23, 2013)

ShinkirouYui said:


> I think working in retail we tend to forget those who are polite and instead take notice of those who aren't.



I think this thread exists because while we can compliment and go above and beyond for lovely customers, we can't turn around and tell nasty ones to go die in a hole. There are plenty of lovely people out there but we're allowed to tell them what we think of them to their face


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## longqi (Sep 24, 2013)

Lawra said:


> I think this thread exists because while we can compliment and go above and beyond for lovely customers, we can't turn around and tell nasty ones to go die in a hole. There are plenty of lovely people out there but we're allowed to tell them what we think of them to their face



Die in a hole??
Ive said a whole lot more than that to some

Had one guy from Denpasar
Possibly the nicest modern house Ive seen in Indonesia
Jungle rubbish dump next door
Absolute cobra paradise but also high danger trying to find anything
After 3 hours Ive bagged 4 cobras and a krait
Another hour or so teaching the gardeners about reptiles and best ways to stop them visiting

Lord Muck [expat] wanders over
" I was going to give you some money but your card says free snake removal so I wont bother"
Walks away

5 months later frantic phone call 6am
Cobra same house
Nobody answers the gate
Scale the wall
One dead doberman and another going crazy with a face full of venom
Hook the collar, clamp the mouth and wash it out in the pool for 10 minutes
Lock it in a shed and find the cobra and bag it
Lord Muck pipes up from behind the door
"Thank you so much. Goodbye"

I walk over and bang on the door until he opens it
"listen you bloody mongrel, saved your backside twice now
Snake removal is free
Saving dogs costs big money so donation will be accepted"

Guy actually rang a vet and got a horrible shock at how much it would have cost him
Gave me about 50%
Best donation we ever got

10ft brick wall separates his place from next door now


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## ingie (Sep 24, 2013)

I am a youth worker in residential care, with 9-17 year olds. We do 24-48 hour sleepover shifts, alone with 1-2 kids in a house, or sometimes 1 kid to 2 youth workers, in a house, depending on how extreme the behaviours are. We are the last port of call for kids who have been kicked out of all other available foster homes, and group homes etc.

While I have worked at this place, I have had 
A knife held at my throat
Spat on 
Punched
Held "hostage" in a corner while police took 2.5 hours to arrive
Had a kid bail me into a corner and try repeatedly to stab me in the neck and sides with a fork, wanting to kill me, and all I had was a small cushion to deflect him until he ran out of breath, and I jumped over the couch arm and took off up the road.
A kid tried to light my hair on fire while I was driving on the highway, and then grabbed 2 hand fulls of my hair and pinned my head to seat and screamed in my ears.
Kid pulled on handbrake while I was driving, made me go across 2 lanes, and then called the cops on me as i wouldn't let her back in the car
A kid stole my car for 4 days (2 weeks ago) and it is getting fixed now, as they put dints and scratches on it, and kicked the crap out of the ceiling 
Had a girl try to hang herself with an extension cord and I had to hold her while I caled 000 on speakerphone and then wait for them to arrive.
A kid pulled on the hand brake while I was driving. Then when we finally got home he opened up the bonnet and started doing things to the engine. I went over to see what he was doing, and he opened the coolant thing and flicked it on my face. Same kid reached over and popped the boot, on another occasion, when we just arrived home, and grabbed out the big metal thing you use to undo the wheel nuts with, came to my door as I was getting out and stomped my foot and swung the tool at my head and I ducked as it missed me by a fraction. He then covered me in flour 3 times while I was waiting for the next youth worker to arrive. He had some secret stash of it. I had it all in my eyes and had to drive one hour to my next shift with a 15yo kid who constantly tells me filthy sexual fantasies while touching himself and flashing me. Have had way more things happen, but these are the ones that come to mind right now.

Youth work is hard!


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## Rlpreston (Sep 24, 2013)

ingie said:


> I am a youth worker in residential care, with 9-17 year olds. We do 24-48 hour sleepover shifts, alone with 1-2 kids in a house, or sometimes 1 kid to 2 youth workers, in a house, depending on how extreme the behaviours are. We are the last port of call for kids who have been kicked out of all other available foster homes, and group homes etc.
> 
> While I have worked at this place, I have had
> A knife held at my throat
> ...



Wow, this is one of those jobs that is well under appreciated. No way I could handle that (don't have the patience I think) for one day, let alone every day! My hat's off to you! 

I have a friend who works with families in crisis here in Vic (I think it must be for youth justice or similar) and she gets called out all hours if the day and night to peoples houses to work with them. I always imagine it must be scary to be in a strangers house while they are in an unstable mood. I think she has been completely worn down and burned out by it all now and is looking for a career change


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## longqi (Sep 24, 2013)

Ingie
hats off to you
not enough money on earth to pay me to do your work


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## Lawra (Sep 24, 2013)

*ingie* you are amazing to continue working under those conditions. I feel silly for complaining about whiney customers. I have a lot of respect for you.


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## ingie (Sep 25, 2013)

I keep doing the job for selfish reasons  Get all my hours done in a condensed time so I have more days off every week, (although only 16 hours of every 24 counts, as I only get 2 hours pay for 10 hours "sleeping time". I do get to choose whenever I can and can't work, in advance though. There are lots of benefits to the job, so long as I can keep myself unharmed


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## littlemay (Jan 6, 2014)

Here's a fun one..

At work the other day a man comes up to the register with his young daughter. They were purchasing crickets, some desert sand and a 2.0 UVB fluro tube. I was a little perplexed by the addition of the 2.0 tube as it seemed like they were buying for a bearded dragon. I started chatting with them and probing for who the 2.0 tube was for, turns out it was indeed for their bearded dragon.

Figuring they were new owners, i explained the necessity of a high output UVB source and the possible consequences of not providing enough UVB. Then the man jumps in, looking at me like i'm some idiot, and tells me that the dragon has had 2.0 UVB for over a year and is perfectly fine. I very carefully explain that this is perhaps not the best situation for the dragon and that a continuation of this sort of environment could lead to health problems down the track. 

At this point the young girl is on the verge of tears, saying 'is he going to die daddy?'. The man gives me a look that indicates this is clearly all my fault and begrudgingly asks me to get him a 10 UVB tube; he quite obviously seemed to think i was attempting to upsell him. Sigh. Some people.


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## hulloosenator (Jan 6, 2014)

my daughter works at a jewelry store........ they had a sale on ......... a customer bought a necklace for $200 because it was half price.......
the customer returned the next day for refund because he daughter didnt like it ...... my daughter gave her back the $200 as per receipt...... but customer demanded the full price back ....$400 as was on the original price tag.... but receipt stated she paid $200. The lady didnt understand ..... or was genuinely stupid ..... or a con artist ..... or all of the above.


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