G
Guest
Guest
For those that are thinking of starting a career, this will outline pretty much exactly the difference in the services (Army, Navy, Air Force)
ROYAL AUSTRALIAN AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Zoomie, swear to sign away four years of my useless life to the
ROYAL AUSTRALIAN AIRFORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the
Army and because the NAVY frightens me.
I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by
others more dedicated than me who take their job seriously. I also
swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our
daily volleyball competitions as a valid form of exercise.
I swear to uphold and defend the Constitution of the Commonwealth,
even though I believe myself to be above that.
I promise to walk around (with my Labrador) calling everyone by
their first name - because I know I'm not really in the military and I
find it amusing to annoy the other services.
I will have a better quality of life than all those around me and
will at all times be sure to make them aware of that fact. After
completion of my - snicker - "basic training", I will be a lean, mean,
doughnut
eating machine wearing a bus conductor's uniform.
I will believe that I will be superior to all others, and will make
an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the
back with it.
I will do no work unless someone is watching me, (and it makes me
look good), will annoy those around me, and will go home early every
day - if I make it to work at all. I consent to never getting promoted -
EVER - and understand
that all those whom I made fun of yesterday probably will outrank me
tomorrow.
So help me God
Signature:____________________________________
Date: ________________________________________
AUSTRALIAN ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Rambo, swear to sign away four years of my mediocre life to the
AUSTRALIAN Army because I couldn't score high enough on the
enlistment test to get into the Air Force, and the Navy wouldn't
take me due to the fact that I'm not tough enough and can't swim.
I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots
and I promise to wear my uniform 24 hrs a day even when I am shopping.
I will continue telling myself that I am a fierce killing machine
because my drill sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the
only action I ever will see is a court martial for sexual
harassment, or for the harming of innocent animals.
I acknowledge the fact that I will make Private in my
first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I
scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my sexual-er-I
mean, BASIC training, I will attend a different Army School once
every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left.
On my first trip home after boot camp, I will walk around like I am
cool and propose to marry my ninth-grade sweetheart.
I will make my wife stay at home, because if I let her out she might
leave me for a smarter, better looking Air Force or Navy guy. Should she
leave me
twelve times, I will continue to take her back.
Whilst at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting
absolutely nothing accomplished.
I will arrive at work every day at 10:00 hrs because of morning PT
and leave every day at 1300 hrs to report back to the "COMPANY".
I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will
help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working on the council
with my friends from high school, or as a security guard.
So help me God
Signature:________________________________
Date: ____________________________________
ROYAL AUSTRALIAN NAVY OATH OF ALLEGIANCE
I, Nobby, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away twenty
years of my life to the Royal Australian Navy because I want to hang out
with
Criminals without actually having to BE one of them. Also because I
thought the Air Force was too "corporate", the Army never washes -
and because I thought, "Heh, I like to swim.... Why not?"
I promise to wear clothing that went out of style in 1914 and to
have my name stencilled on the front of every shirt pants I own.
I understand that I will be mistaken for a Mr Whippy ice cream man
during the summer and for a member of the Waffen SS during the winter.
I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the
English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, bone dome,
goffa, Sea Squarie and head" when I really mean "floor, wall, hat,
softdrink, Chux and toilet".
I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, ranks
and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely
different from the other services and make absolutely no sense what
so ever.
I will muster (what ever that means) at 0800 hrs every morning
unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around
0930hrs.
I vow to hone my coffee cup handling skills to the point that I can
stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon and not spill a drop.
I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice
each fiscal year.
So help me Neptune
Signature:__________________________
Date: ____________________________
ROYAL AUSTRALIAN AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Zoomie, swear to sign away four years of my useless life to the
ROYAL AUSTRALIAN AIRFORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the
Army and because the NAVY frightens me.
I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by
others more dedicated than me who take their job seriously. I also
swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our
daily volleyball competitions as a valid form of exercise.
I swear to uphold and defend the Constitution of the Commonwealth,
even though I believe myself to be above that.
I promise to walk around (with my Labrador) calling everyone by
their first name - because I know I'm not really in the military and I
find it amusing to annoy the other services.
I will have a better quality of life than all those around me and
will at all times be sure to make them aware of that fact. After
completion of my - snicker - "basic training", I will be a lean, mean,
doughnut
eating machine wearing a bus conductor's uniform.
I will believe that I will be superior to all others, and will make
an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the
back with it.
I will do no work unless someone is watching me, (and it makes me
look good), will annoy those around me, and will go home early every
day - if I make it to work at all. I consent to never getting promoted -
EVER - and understand
that all those whom I made fun of yesterday probably will outrank me
tomorrow.
So help me God
Signature:____________________________________
Date: ________________________________________
AUSTRALIAN ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Rambo, swear to sign away four years of my mediocre life to the
AUSTRALIAN Army because I couldn't score high enough on the
enlistment test to get into the Air Force, and the Navy wouldn't
take me due to the fact that I'm not tough enough and can't swim.
I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots
and I promise to wear my uniform 24 hrs a day even when I am shopping.
I will continue telling myself that I am a fierce killing machine
because my drill sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the
only action I ever will see is a court martial for sexual
harassment, or for the harming of innocent animals.
I acknowledge the fact that I will make Private in my
first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I
scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my sexual-er-I
mean, BASIC training, I will attend a different Army School once
every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left.
On my first trip home after boot camp, I will walk around like I am
cool and propose to marry my ninth-grade sweetheart.
I will make my wife stay at home, because if I let her out she might
leave me for a smarter, better looking Air Force or Navy guy. Should she
leave me
twelve times, I will continue to take her back.
Whilst at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting
absolutely nothing accomplished.
I will arrive at work every day at 10:00 hrs because of morning PT
and leave every day at 1300 hrs to report back to the "COMPANY".
I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will
help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working on the council
with my friends from high school, or as a security guard.
So help me God
Signature:________________________________
Date: ____________________________________
ROYAL AUSTRALIAN NAVY OATH OF ALLEGIANCE
I, Nobby, in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away twenty
years of my life to the Royal Australian Navy because I want to hang out
with
Criminals without actually having to BE one of them. Also because I
thought the Air Force was too "corporate", the Army never washes -
and because I thought, "Heh, I like to swim.... Why not?"
I promise to wear clothing that went out of style in 1914 and to
have my name stencilled on the front of every shirt pants I own.
I understand that I will be mistaken for a Mr Whippy ice cream man
during the summer and for a member of the Waffen SS during the winter.
I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the
English-speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, bone dome,
goffa, Sea Squarie and head" when I really mean "floor, wall, hat,
softdrink, Chux and toilet".
I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, ranks
and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely
different from the other services and make absolutely no sense what
so ever.
I will muster (what ever that means) at 0800 hrs every morning
unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around
0930hrs.
I vow to hone my coffee cup handling skills to the point that I can
stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon and not spill a drop.
I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice
each fiscal year.
So help me Neptune
Signature:__________________________
Date: ____________________________
