Funny Headlines. LOL!

[rodentrancher]

THE YEAR'S BEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2004:


Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
[imagine that!]



Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]



Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far!]



Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[not if I wipe thoroughly!]



Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy!]



Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]



Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]



War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]



If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[moron]



Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]



Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]



Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]



Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
[he ! probably IS the battery charge!]



New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group!
[weren't they fat enough?!]



Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That what he gets for eating those beans!]



Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken!]



Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
[That was really giving of himself!]



Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]



Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]


And the winner is...


Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
[nuff said!]

 

[instar]

ROFLMBAO !!! :lol: :lol: :lol: Funny stuff Chez!

 

[Snake Catcher Victoria]

yeh funny stuff chez

baz

 

[earthmother]

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!!!!!!

Forgotten Runners up of History:

Tater Teens
The Big Whimper
Microsoft Doors
Crossbow Weddings
The Empire Remains Calm
Richard the Puppybreathed
Cargo Socks
The Sistine Changing Room
Jack The Folder
Ripley?s Dismiss It Immediately
New Tooth Blackening Formula
Captain Canada
Apple iSteal
Tuna of the Land
Bob of Assisi
The Tunnel of Like
Moby Tom
The Big Fence of Thailand
Cowfighters
Sharp Thorns on Roses and Wet Burlap Mittens
Fig Einsteins
Han Duo
U1
Mr. Zhivago
Hans Buddhist Andersen
Mack The Fork
Agree With The Machine
Romeo & Lariat
Bucky the Werewolf Helper
Ivan the Tolerable
Lawrence of Albania
Bachman Turner Cruise Control
The Scuffle of Britain
Just Skip It
I Can?t Believe It?s Not Lard!
Pol Pan
Single Personality Disorder
Scotch ?n Cookies
Eric the Beige
Dexy?s Lunchtime Strollers
e=mchammer
Truckspotting
The Griping of Job
Men With Hats
Tango & Credit
The Manageable Heaviness of Doing
Lysdexia.

I've got a million of 'em. lol

 

[Guest]

I remember one from a funniest headlines book my uncle got last christmas. Its about a Psychological patient that escaped from the hospital he was in, sexually assualted a female laundromat owner and took off. The headline read (no crapola, this is totally true) NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS.

The article writer got into a bit of trouble, so did the editor.

 

[earthmother]

Hahaha Shermy.
My Dad told me that when he was overseas there was a headline that translated to "Cannibal passes his brother in Jungle". Get it?

 

[Guest]

Re: RE: Funny Headlines. LOL!

Hahaha Shermy.
My Dad told me that when he was overseas there was a headline that translated to "Cannibal passes his brother in Jungle". Get it?

Did they find his watch?? LOL

 

[instar]

RE: Re: RE: Funny Headlines. LOL!

ROFLMAO!!!!! Em they're terrif! real gutbusters, some have a Gary larson tone! Heres one, "The Mr Asparagus van " aka mr whippy!

"The scuffle of Britain" Has MontyPython Tones!
LMAO I think I have" Single personality disorder" LOL

Thats A beauty Sherm !! :lol: