HEHEHE SNAKE JOKES

[pythonkisses]

There where two snakes talking.

The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'.

Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?"

The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"




A old snake goes to see his Doctor.

"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days".
The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.

The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.

Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"

"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"



Why wouldn't the snake go on the weighing maching ?
Because he had his own scales !



What is another word for a python ?
A mega-bite !



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[Guest]

ROFLMAO. i love the first 1. and YES i know that they are imune to the vonom from their own species.

 

[_popp_]

Pmsfl,the 1st 2 are great the others nice n corny. :lol:


cheers popp

 

[Paddy]

jokes

when noah had unloaded all the animals from the ark he noticed two snakes huddles up in the corner sobbing away!
he approached them and said "did you not hear me say go forth and multiply!"
"we can't" replied the snakes, "we're only adders!"
boom boom

 

[pythonkisses]

lol paddy hehehehehehe

 

[Guest]

wish

lmfao. Well done paddy. i'll pay that. Life is full of misconseptions

 

[pythonkisses]

Q: Why can't you trust snakes ?
A: They speak with forked tongues !

Q: What's a snakes favourite dance ?
A: Snake, rattle & roll !

Q: What did one snake say to another ?
A: Hiss off !

Q: Why did the two boa constrictors get married ?
A: Because they had a crush on each other !

Q: What's the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake ?
A: You can make a pet out of a snake !

Q: What kind of snake is useful on your windscreen ?
A: A viper !

Q: Why are snakes hard to fool ?
A: They have no legs to pull !

Q: What's a python's favourite pop group ?
A: Squeeze !

Q: What sort of perfume do snakes prefer ?
A: Poison by Christian Dior !

Q: Why did the viper want to become a python ?
A: He got the coiling !

Q: What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food ?
A: Snakes and Larders !

Q: What do you call a python with a great bedside manner ?
A: A snake charmer !

Q: What do most people do when they see a python ?
A: They re-coil !

Q: What subject are snakes good at school ?
A: Hiss-tory !

Q: What did the snake say to the cornered rat ?
A: Hiss is the end of the line for you !

Q: What do snakes have on their bath towels ?
A: Hiss and Hers !

Q: What do you call a snake that informs the police ?
A: A grass snake !

Q: What did the python say to the viper ?
A: I've got a crush on you !

Q: What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell ?
A: Addercadabra and abradacobra !

 

[pythonkisses]

Q: What do you call a snake who works for the governement ?
A: A civil serpent !

 

[Guest]

PK, especially loving that last 1. where did they all come from?

 

[hugsta]

PK, I think you've got too much time on your hands......LMAO

Some very funny jokes. Thanks for the laugh.....hehehehe

 

[pythonkisses]

Well i do have a bit of time on my hands at the moment lol i work online so when i see things i post them i cant remember what site i seen these in but as soon as i find it i will post it for you.