THE TOP FIVE SMART-A** ANSWERS OF THE YEAR
Smart-A** Answer #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to
check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a
beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Smart-A** Answer #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a
butcher, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The butcher replied,
"No, ma'am, they're dead."
Smart-A** Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the
cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When
the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.
Smart-A** Answer #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes
up that reads 'Low bridge ahead'. Before he knows it, the bridge is right
ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and
walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
ran out of gas."
Smart-A** Answer #1
The SMART-A** ANSWER OF THE YEAR "THE TEACHER "A college
teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now, Class, I won't
tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow I might consider a
nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your
immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass
guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand!"
Smart-A** Answer #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to
check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the
ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a
beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Smart-A** Answer #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery
store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a
butcher, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The butcher replied,
"No, ma'am, they're dead."
Smart-A** Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the
cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When
the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.
Smart-A** Answer #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes
up that reads 'Low bridge ahead'. Before he knows it, the bridge is right
ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and
walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
ran out of gas."
Smart-A** Answer #1
The SMART-A** ANSWER OF THE YEAR "THE TEACHER "A college
teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now, Class, I won't
tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow I might consider a
nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your
immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass
guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand!"
