We'll Never Forget You!

[moosenoose]

Hmmm... I don't know if this one is breaking the boundaries a bit...but here goes :lol:


Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out; both were very
faithful and loving wives...... however, they had gotten
over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk, while
walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery they
were passing.

One of them had no tissues to use so she thought she would take off
her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing a rather
expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them, but was lucky
enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon
on it, so she proceeded to use that.

After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home. The next
day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally
sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other
husband and said "These damn girls nights have got to stop. I'm
starting to suspect the worst....... my wife came home with no
panties! I'll kill the son of a b**itch!" "That's nothing" said the
other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck between the crack of
her ass that said "From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never
forget you."

 

[pythonkisses]

RE: We

Hehe trust you moosie

 

[marty]

RE: We

i luv it.

 

[Duke_jensen]

RE: We

hehe, love it

 

[moosenoose]

Tamer :wink:


A lawyer and a blonde happen to be sitting next to each other on a
long cross-country flight. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if
she would like to play a fun game. Now this blonde happens to be
highly intelligent, but she is tired and just wants to take a
nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window
to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying
that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains
how the game works. "I ask you a question, and if you
don't know the answer, you pay me, and
vice-versa." Again, the blonde politely declines and
tries to get some sleep The lawyer figures that since his
opponent is a blonde he will easily win the match, so he
makes another offer: "Okay, how about this: if you don't
know the answer you pay me only $5, but if
I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that
there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she
agrees to play the game. The lawyer
asks the first question. "What's the distance from the
earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a
five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes
up a hill with three legs, and comes back down with four?" The
lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out
his laptop computer and searches all his
references. He taps into the air-phone with his
modem and searches the internet and even the Library
of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to
all his colleagues and friends, trying to get some help.
All to no avail.

After over an hour of searching for the answer he
finally gives up. He wakes the blonde and hands
her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500
and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who cannot
imagine what the answer is, is going nuts trying to figure it out.

He wakes the blonde again and asks: "Well, so what goes up a hill
with three legs and comes back down with four?" The blonde reaches
into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to
sleep

 

[alexr]

Very Funny Moosenoose.

 

[pythonkisses]

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.
She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are coming!" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,
"Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"... I just lost it."



The case was thrown out of court.

 

[moosenoose]

Hehehee that is excellent! :lol:

 

[diamond_python]

I just got this one in an email. Hope you all like it


>> > > There once was a Red Indian whose given name was "Onestone". So

>> > > named

>> > > because he had only one testicle. He hated that name and asked

>> >everyone

>> > > not to call him Onestone.

>> > >

>> > > After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,

>> >"If

>> > > anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"

>> > >

>> > > The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

>> > >

>> > > Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good

>> > > morning,

>> > > Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the

>> >forest

>> > > where he made love to her all day and all night.

>> > >

>> > > He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from

>> > > exhaustion.

>> > >

>> > > The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would

>> > > do.

>> > > Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a

>> >woman

>> > > named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many

>> > > years.

>> > >

>> > > Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw

>> > > Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."

>> > >

>> > > Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made

>> >love

>> > > to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all

>> > > the

>> > > next day,

>> > > made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

>> > >

>> > > What is the moral of this story?????............................

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > > OH, come on...take a guess!

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > > Think about it .

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > > (You're going to love this!)

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > > And the moral is

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > >

>> > > .......You can't kill two birds with one stone !!!

 

[diamond_python]

And another

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when
they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same
ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.

He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow
out of our air hole at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn
over and sink. They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and
quickly sank.

Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and
were swimming to the safety of shore.The male was enraged that they were
going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them
up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was
becoming reluctant to follow him.
"Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely
refuse to swallow the seamen."

 

[joughin]

these are all good jokes guys

 

[Craig2]

why do they call camels ships of the desert
!
!
!
!
!
!
!


!
!
!
!
!
!

they r full off arab seamen

 

[Hickson]

Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?












'Coz they aren't his!

 

[moosenoose]

Hehehehe Oh I shouldn't but why not:

Q: What's the differece between Michael Jackon and a greyhound?

A: At least the greyhounds wait for the hares to come out

(Jesus I am sorry! :lol: Hix started it!)

 

[instar]

My Gott! :lol:

Difference between MJ and a shopping bag?

One is white, made of plastic and poses a risk to children..............

The other is for groceries!

 

[beknluke]

Priceless!! LOL

 

[southy]

whats the difference between a dog and a politician that both got hit by a car???









Theres skid marks infront of the dog!!!!