Why not?

[moosenoose]

A man has a dog that snores in his sleep. Annoyed, because she can't sleep, his wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring.

A few hours after going to bed, the dog is snoring as usual. Finally, unable to sleep, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of ribbon and ties it around the dog's testicles, and sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The woman is amazed!

Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep, and begins snoring very loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon will work on him. So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of ribbon, and ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him!

The woman sleeps very soundly.
The next morning, the husband wakes up very hung over.
He tumbles into the bathroom to urinate. As he is standing in front of the toilet, he looks in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates.

He is very confused, and, as he walks back into the bedroom, he notices a red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles.

He shakes his head, looks down at the dog and says:
"Boy, I don't remember where we were or what we did, but, by God, we got first and second place!"

:wink: sorry! :lol:

 

[angelrose]

Lmao
Good one mooseifer

Angel

 

[instar]

lol better than most so far :lol:

 

[angelrose]

Ok heres another one for ya
Her husband has gotten up every morning and stunk her out, i mean really let it rip before he has even left the bed..... she always told him that one day he really was going to drop his guts.....

One morning, she woke up before him, snuck downstairs, warmed up some offle, you know, sheeps intestines, liver, kidneys, that sort of thing, just to body temp, snuck upstairs, and put it in his pj pants. Then went downstairs to enjoy her breakfast.

About 15 mins later she heard this god almighty screamming coming from her bedroom, she smirked a little and continued on with her breakfast.

He came down about 10 mins later, red face and tearey eyed.

Whats the matter??? She asked him.

Well, he said, you know how you ae always telling me im going to fart my guts out?

Yes she said, very straight face.

Well, it happened.... i woke up this morning and my pants were filled up with my insides....

Oh my god, she said.....

dont worry, he said,with a jar of vassoline and these two fingers i got it all back in there..............


She fainted.......... :shock: :lol:

Angel

 

[rodentrancher]

:lol:

 

[Guest]

ewww

 

[playwell]

Hmmm, I didn't need that picture in my head. Thanks anyway Angelrose. lol

 

[tourett]

LMAO I thought that one was a pissa Angelrose. I know I'm a very sick puppy, but I didn't tell the joke.
Tourett

 

[Greebo]

I saw the punchline to that one coming a mile away.

 

[africancichlidau]

Can you say it a bit LOUDER perhaps?

 

[Greebo]

A bloke goes over to his mates place and notices the dog sitting on the lawn, licking himself.
"Geez, I wish I could do that!" He exclaimed.
"Alright," replied his mate, " but you better pat him first."

An oldie but a goodie.

 

[africancichlidau]

ROFLMAO

 

[Mr.K]

lol,lol & lol.....excellent!!!

May as well join the band wagon...

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see Her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm waiting for my husband To come home
from work," the daughter-in-law answered. "But you're naked!" the
mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained. "Love dress? But
you're naked!" "My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It
excites him no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly
becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of
me."

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on
her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the
couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He
walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"

 

[craig.a.c]

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch". Two men walk into a bar, you'd think one of 'em would have seen it.

Piss poor I know but I had to. It was the only joke I could think of.

 

[thals]

hahaha...u guys funny..Mr K...watta pissa alright! :lol: :lol: :lol: