About as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.

[Xeaal]

My dad always said about my mum : "That woman is always trying to turn a fart into a nuclear explosion"

 

[Endeavour]

Flatulence featuring quite heavily in this thread I see:shock:.


Kindest regards

Endeavour

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

head like a smashed watermelon...

 

[Endeavour]

my dad always used to tell me this when growing up..."the devil finds work for idle hands"...so as a consequence i hate being bored and i am always looking for something to do.....p.s glad i found this forum its keeps me busy reading.....

Its rather like the sayings "If you want something done ask a busy man" and "work expands to fill the time available".


Kindest regards

Endeavour

 

[Hindy]

About as useful as a kick starter on a 747

 

[eipper]

For someone useless....Could'nt get a In a cat house with fist full of fifties
Bout as useful as tits on a bull

For someone ugly.... Head like a smashed crab, good head for radio

For an alternative method.... More than one way to skin a cat.

for something difficult... It's as hard as a cat's head.

Might leave it there it might get above a kids level

 

[Firepac]

He's so useless he couldn't drive a nail into a bucket of water.

He's so mean he wouldn't even let his dog drink from a mirage.

I'm as dry as a pommies bathmat. (No offense Endeavor )

 

[Stuart]

Must have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

 

[Snowman]

Go buy a pack of cards.... And deal with it.

Get a chicken shaped lollipop and suck a (male chicken).

shes got a face like a smashed crab.

nothing succeeds like a toothless budgie.

 

[Nighthawk]

Like nailing jelly to a wall, as jumpy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, handles like a brick (car)...

 

[disintegratus]

Busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.
Dumb as a bag of hammers.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Not the brightest crayon in the box.

 

[Nighthawk]

Dumb as a bag of hammers.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Not the brightest crayon in the box.

Haha - the wheel's still turning but the hamster's dead...

 

[davies.ads]

Got a face like a chewed up mintie.

 

[Shotta]

as dangerous as "s i" in a tank full of stingrays

 

[Baturb]

Harder to pick than a broken nose

 

[harlemrain]

She's not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed

 

[Monitor_Keeper]

About as funny as a fart in an elevator

 

[Bananapeel]

"man who walk through aeroplane door sideways usually goes to Bangkok."
"It's better to be pissed off than pissed on"

From confucius.

 

[Endeavour]

He is so lazy he would marry a pregnant woman.


Kindest regards


Endeavour

 

[Monitor_Keeper]

He is so lazy he would marry a pregnant woman.


Kindest regards


Endeavour

UK jokes are bad. Don't ban me.