Chit Chat Removed from For Sale forum
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jimmy_the_kid
Very Well-Known Member
lol agreed i mean there almost fineshed chrissy talk now tere now talking bout easter ha ha ha
moosenoose
Legendary
I thought I'd just try and find a little more about the Fella who is Santa Claus - It's not good! :twisted: :wink:
Santa?s Claws Revealed
What we know of The Monster:
*It dresses in blood red.
*It is immortal, as far as we know.
*It only appears at night, flying through the air with horned beasts at Its command.
*It uses some unknown sorcery to infiltrate billions of homes in one night.
*It is not afraid of fire or heat (in chimneys, for instance) or cold for that matter.
*It has beady, coal-black eyes (all pupil, maybe, or perhaps insect-like).
Its bloated midsection wiggles like gelatin (an undead substance made of decaying animal parts).
*It is sometimes called "Old Nick" (which pretends to refer to St. Nicholas, but is really a nickname [ETP] of the Devil).
*Its name is an anagram of Satan Lucas, which sounds very sinister to me ("the Light of Satan"?).
*It spreads Its message of greed and gluttony on the very eve of the celebration of Christ?s birth.
*Indeed, many children believe in Satan Lucas many years before ever learning of the "true meaning of Christmas", and even then the "true meaning" is largely ignored, and the evil rites are passed on to another generation.
*There is a song about It which begins, "you?d better watch out?"
*Its minions, an elaborate network of spying adults, keep tabs on your behavior throughout the year, and postal services of the world dutifully deliver reports to It.
*In short, Santa Claus is an evil conniving demigod, who has become powerful enough to control the economy, tempt people to do very wicked actions (all cloaked in "holiday spirit"), and battle Jesus for control of his own birthday. The cult of Satan Lucas is growing rapidly. Children are being programmed to be evil minions when they become adults. Ritual sacrifices of innocent milk and cookies are offered up to Its obesity. Depression, crime, and suicides increase during the Christmas hellidays, and no wonder.
*Protect yourself. Do not invite this demon into your home. Take down your stockings. Burn Hanukkah candles to ward It off. Do not give anyone gifts! This practice only makes It stronger.
:lol: :lol: Don't ask me where I got this from!
Santa?s Claws Revealed
What we know of The Monster:
*It dresses in blood red.
*It is immortal, as far as we know.
*It only appears at night, flying through the air with horned beasts at Its command.
*It uses some unknown sorcery to infiltrate billions of homes in one night.
*It is not afraid of fire or heat (in chimneys, for instance) or cold for that matter.
*It has beady, coal-black eyes (all pupil, maybe, or perhaps insect-like).
Its bloated midsection wiggles like gelatin (an undead substance made of decaying animal parts).
*It is sometimes called "Old Nick" (which pretends to refer to St. Nicholas, but is really a nickname [ETP] of the Devil).
*Its name is an anagram of Satan Lucas, which sounds very sinister to me ("the Light of Satan"?).
*It spreads Its message of greed and gluttony on the very eve of the celebration of Christ?s birth.
*Indeed, many children believe in Satan Lucas many years before ever learning of the "true meaning of Christmas", and even then the "true meaning" is largely ignored, and the evil rites are passed on to another generation.
*There is a song about It which begins, "you?d better watch out?"
*Its minions, an elaborate network of spying adults, keep tabs on your behavior throughout the year, and postal services of the world dutifully deliver reports to It.
*In short, Santa Claus is an evil conniving demigod, who has become powerful enough to control the economy, tempt people to do very wicked actions (all cloaked in "holiday spirit"), and battle Jesus for control of his own birthday. The cult of Satan Lucas is growing rapidly. Children are being programmed to be evil minions when they become adults. Ritual sacrifices of innocent milk and cookies are offered up to Its obesity. Depression, crime, and suicides increase during the Christmas hellidays, and no wonder.
*Protect yourself. Do not invite this demon into your home. Take down your stockings. Burn Hanukkah candles to ward It off. Do not give anyone gifts! This practice only makes It stronger.
:lol: :lol: Don't ask me where I got this from!
jimmy_the_kid
Very Well-Known Member
dont forget he sits children on his lap and whispers in there ears dont be afraid to tell me wat u really want
pythonkisses
Well-Known Member
Awwwwwwwww guys thats sad i LOVE XMAS TIME but am just a big kid bring it on i say hehehehehehehehehe
hey_im_sam
Well-Known Member
i LOVE the holiday season,christmas rocks I smile just thinking about it!
I smile just thinking about it!
Greebo
Snakologist
If we give Santa a key to the house, how can we be sure it wont end up the hands of a boogeyman or even a crooked Tooth Fairy(pun intended).
pythonkisses
Well-Known Member
Greebo said:
The KEY can only be used by SANTA and no one else.
serpenttongue
Very Well-Known Member
Hey moosenoose, you should get a job writing christmas cards!! Funny stuff, dude.
womas4me
Very Well-Known Member
Are all keys the same. If so does this mean you have a master key to everyones house. Can i get one?
dobermanmick
Very Well-Known Member
Not again ! The only thing good about Xmas is the hatchies and holidays Yay
womas4me
Very Well-Known Member
It does depend on where the mistle toe is hung from as to how good chrissie really is
Miss_Magickal
Active Member
Go Moosey.................
I love christmas, being home with the family, being able to eat myself stupid and to watch my childrens eyes light up when they see what Satan Clawes brought them.............
And the decorations.............lights everywhere
Oh and I like the presents I get too.............(hint hint )
Where r u santa???????? wanna tell you what i want for xmas :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
I love christmas, being home with the family, being able to eat myself stupid and to watch my childrens eyes light up when they see what Satan Clawes brought them.............
And the decorations.............lights everywhere
Oh and I like the presents I get too.............(hint hint )
Where r u santa???????? wanna tell you what i want for xmas :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
africancichlidau
Almost Legendary
I agree with you Womas, I always hang mine off the dining table :twisted:
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