rodentrancher
Very Well-Known Member
Subject: The office party
>>>Company Memo
>>>
>>>I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place
>>>on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the
>>>Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have
>>>a small band playing traditional carols .... please feel free to sing
>>>along.
>>>
>>>And don't be surprised if the MC shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A
>>>Christmas tree will be lit at 1 pm. Exchange of gifts among employees
>>>can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make
>>>the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only
>>>for employees! The MC will make a special announcement at the Party.
>>>
>>>Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
>>>
>>>Cheers,
>>>
>>>Pauline
>>>
>>>----- ----- -----
>>>
>>>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>>>TO: All Employees
>>>DATE: 9 November 2004
>>>SUBJECT: Re: Holiday Party
>>>
>>>
>>>In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
>>>We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides
>>>with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on
>>>we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any
>>>other employees who are not Christians. There
>>>will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other
>>>types of music for your enjoyment.
>>>
>>>Happy now?
>>>
>>>Happy Holidays to you and your family.
>>>
>>>
>>>Pauline
>>>
>>>
>>>----- ----- -----
>>>
>>>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>>>TO: All Employees
>>>DATE: 10 November 2004
>>>SUBJECT: Re: Holiday Party
>>>
>>>
>>>Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
>>>requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy
>>>to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads,
>>>"AA Only;" you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!!!
>>>
>>>How am I supposed to handle this?
>>>
>>>Somebody?
>>>
>>>Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the
>>>Union officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believe
>>>$10.00 is a little cheap.
>>>
>>>NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
>>>
>>>Pauline
>>>
>>>
>>>----- ----- -----
>>>
>>>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>>>TO: All Employees
>>>DATE: 11 November 2004
>>>SUBJECT: Re: Holiday Party
>>>
>>>
>>>What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the
>>>Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during
>>>daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how
>>>a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslin
>>>employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on
>>>serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything
>>>up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?
>>>
>>>Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest
>>>from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to
>>>the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not
>>>have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there
>>>will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too. To the person
>>>asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed.
>>>
>>>We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be
>>>available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the
>>>food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food
>>>first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the
>>>restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!
>>>
>>>Did I miss anything ?!?!?!?!
>>>
>>>Pauline
>>>
>>>----- ----- -----
>>>
>>>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>>>TO: All Employees
>>>DATE: 12 November 2004
>>>SUBJECT: Re: The F****** Holiday Party
>>>
>>>
>>>Vegetarian pricks! I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep
>>>this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
>>>quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
>>>quaintly put it, and you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic
>>>tomatoes. But you know tomatoes have feelings too. They scream when you
>>>slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!!
>>>
>>>I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink, drive and die.
>>>
>>>THE BITCH FROM HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>>
>>>----- ----- -----
>>>
>>>FROM: John Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
>>>TO: All Employees
>>>DATE: 15 November 2004
>>>SUBJECT: Re: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
>>>
>>>
>>>I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy
>>>recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the
>>>meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and
>>>instead give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full
>>>pay.
>>>
>>>Peace and Good Will to All,
>>>
>>>John
>>>Company Memo
>>>
>>>I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place
>>>on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the
>>>Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have
>>>a small band playing traditional carols .... please feel free to sing
>>>along.
>>>
>>>And don't be surprised if the MC shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A
>>>Christmas tree will be lit at 1 pm. Exchange of gifts among employees
>>>can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make
>>>the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only
>>>for employees! The MC will make a special announcement at the Party.
>>>
>>>Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
>>>
>>>Cheers,
>>>
>>>Pauline
>>>
>>>----- ----- -----
>>>
>>>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>>>TO: All Employees
>>>DATE: 9 November 2004
>>>SUBJECT: Re: Holiday Party
>>>
>>>
>>>In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
>>>We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides
>>>with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on
>>>we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any
>>>other employees who are not Christians. There
>>>will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other
>>>types of music for your enjoyment.
>>>
>>>Happy now?
>>>
>>>Happy Holidays to you and your family.
>>>
>>>
>>>Pauline
>>>
>>>
>>>----- ----- -----
>>>
>>>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>>>TO: All Employees
>>>DATE: 10 November 2004
>>>SUBJECT: Re: Holiday Party
>>>
>>>
>>>Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
>>>requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy
>>>to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads,
>>>"AA Only;" you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!!!
>>>
>>>How am I supposed to handle this?
>>>
>>>Somebody?
>>>
>>>Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the
>>>Union officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believe
>>>$10.00 is a little cheap.
>>>
>>>NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
>>>
>>>Pauline
>>>
>>>
>>>----- ----- -----
>>>
>>>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>>>TO: All Employees
>>>DATE: 11 November 2004
>>>SUBJECT: Re: Holiday Party
>>>
>>>
>>>What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the
>>>Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during
>>>daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how
>>>a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslin
>>>employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on
>>>serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything
>>>up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?
>>>
>>>Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest
>>>from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to
>>>the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not
>>>have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there
>>>will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too. To the person
>>>asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed.
>>>
>>>We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be
>>>available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the
>>>food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food
>>>first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the
>>>restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!
>>>
>>>Did I miss anything ?!?!?!?!
>>>
>>>Pauline
>>>
>>>----- ----- -----
>>>
>>>FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
>>>TO: All Employees
>>>DATE: 12 November 2004
>>>SUBJECT: Re: The F****** Holiday Party
>>>
>>>
>>>Vegetarian pricks! I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep
>>>this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
>>>quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
>>>quaintly put it, and you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic
>>>tomatoes. But you know tomatoes have feelings too. They scream when you
>>>slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!!
>>>
>>>I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink, drive and die.
>>>
>>>THE BITCH FROM HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>>
>>>----- ----- -----
>>>
>>>FROM: John Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
>>>TO: All Employees
>>>DATE: 15 November 2004
>>>SUBJECT: Re: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
>>>
>>>
>>>I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy
>>>recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the
>>>meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and
>>>instead give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full
>>>pay.
>>>
>>>Peace and Good Will to All,
>>>
>>>John
