i used to think how could you?

[montysrainbow]

but now I understand. I often used to think and wonder y people would part with their beloved snakes if they loved them so much I certainly never thought I would but just yesterday I did and I have been crying on and off since.

since having my 7th son times something I don't have a lot of so that for me was an issue....I loved been able to take my coastal outside daily or even weekly but neither have been happening so he became an ornament. I still admired him all the time watching him instead of the tv but not having time to get him out succed!

Then theres the mother inlaw....the final straw. we have not seen her for 2 yrs because she wont come near us while we own a snake. It might eat her grandchildren! or attack her while she sleeps. At 1st I was like hell yeah no more mother inlaw the jokes were flying but then slowly reality sank in...she meant business. My husband was hurt as she hasn't met our 7th infact she has barely met our 6th! because I had a pet snake. No one made me get rid of him and it wasn't a rushed decision but omg its hit me hard. I feel guilty and sad....

I didn't sell him I choose to give him away along with 10 of his favourite rats. it wasnt about the money I just needed to know he was going to be looked after properly and ive asked to have pics. The couple collected him yesterday and I was crying like a baby. We took him out on the grass for one last time and away they went. He looks happy in his new home ive already received a pic and knowing that helps.

So I guess what im trying to say is its easy to judge and people do say how could u but I now know y. my mother inlaw has booked a flight already and planned to come visit. I have promised myself once my younger boys are at school and big enough not to be eaten I will get another but still im sad because I will never replace Gorgoo :cry:

It helps knowing that he wont care lol sux to be human sometimes feelings r over rated!

 

[Leasdraco]

Sadly life throws challenges at times....I definitely hear you Monty. If anything happened to take one of my pets away from me I'd be gutted. I prefer the company of animals to most people anyway. My mother in law has a similar attitude but she would never take it that far
One day you will have another special animal in your life, not to replace the ones that came before but because you like having someone to love and care for.

 

[andynic07]

That's such a sad story, I feel sorry that you had to give your pet away but am glad it was to a good home.

 

[Newhere]

Hello monty, I'm sorry you had to give your pet away and I totally understand why you did it. Your children are the most important thing to you and should always be your first priority in life, they will now get to meet and spend more time with their grandmother and you did the right thing even though your mother in law put you in that position by being unrealistic with her fears.

It sounds like you found some nice people to look after him and I hope that makes it easier for you to deal with your loss. I doubt anyone could judge you for giving your pet away as you did what was right for the animal and that is what keeping a pet is all about. Its about looking after the animals interests and you did exactly that by giving him to a loving home where he will be cared for and recieve the time and attention he deserves.

Its a very sad story and sometimes our lives and our circumstances change and its nobodys fault, I hope you don't feel bad as you did the right thing in the end.

 

[moosenoose]

Pathetic on your mother-in-laws part. Sorry, but that's the honest truth. You can sure pick someone's mettle when the going gets tough and you know the types who'll jump in and put others before themselves, or the ones who won't get their hands dirty and stand back and watch it all unfold. I think I've spotted the difference here. I suppose she had good reason not to come and visit her grandchild, understandably you keep the snake out of its enclosure and sitting along the top of the crib? No?

I've got no time for people who can't be bothered making the effort. Not worth knowing as far as I'm concerned.

ps: I'm sorry you've had to bend for another persons inadequacies. It's not your fault and is commendable.

 

[Rlpreston]

Am so sorry for your hurt and having to make such a decision. You have done the right thing for your family and made sure you beloved pet has a caring new home and that is what matters.

I have had to start searching yesterday for a new home for one of our precious puppies :'(

There is no way to keep both together as they are fighting viciously over dominance and choosing one over the other or handing one over is the hardest thing I've ever done so far! I was bawling my eyes out just writing a message to my friend about it!

I feel your hurt and just want you to know that you are not alone and you are doing a great and unselfish thing.

X's and O's for you

 

[A1SNAKETRADER]

I would pick a snake over a mother in law any day

 

[Lawra]

Ditto!

I'm so sorry that you've had to give up your beloved pet. I couldn't imagine parting with either of mine. People really suck sometimes

 

[Chris1]

Id have to say mother in laws desire to meet 6 and 7 mustnt have been to great,...either that, or shes a horribly manipulative woman who only cares about getting her way,...

Sorry to hear you gave up ur buddy, hopefully the new owners will let him out heaps and send lots of play time pics.

 

[Bluetongue1]

Making the initial decision would have been difficult enough. Seeing it through is when reality comes crashing down on you. It would be extremely difficult, no matter what the reasons. What is evident is that others clearly see that and genuinely feel for you. The only judgment being passed on you is sympathetic and an acknowledgement of your present need for support.

I appreciate that there were no doubt a lot of reasons and that you have painted only a broad brush picture. The children’s grandmother was not core but added extra weight. I suspect you felt guilty many times when you looked at your pet. You’d make it a silent promise to get it out and spend some time. Yet time after time you just could not physically get there. It is out of concern for your pet and the fact you cannot stomach the idea of it being neglected (i.e. ‘neglected’ in your terms, which for many snakes would still be living high on the hog) that you have done what you have done. You are doing what you believe is best for the snake, rather than being selfish. I take my hat off to you out of respect.

In between the tears don’t forget to smile at your good deed. You have warmed my heart. Without a doubt, you will keep again in the future, when your time is once again your own...

Blue

 

[thomasssss]

that sucks , have to agree with some of the others though my grandmother is absolutely terrified of snakes to the point that when one came through the backyard when she was sitting on the veranda a good 10ms or so away she was so scared she literally began shaking
yet that hasnt stopped her visiting twice a year she just doesnt go anywhere near the stairs ( as the snakes are upstairs )

sounds like shes a just plain old stubborn and just wanted her way at your expense

 

[Pythoninfinite]

I'd have to disagree with Bluetongue1 I'm afraid. I don't know enough about your circumstances to be able to do the analysis that B1 has on the reasons for your parting with your snake, but at the heart of it, from what you've written, is the determination of an extremely manipulative mother-in-law to get her own way, regardless of the cost to you. I've known some individuals who "hate" or are afraid of snakes, but never someone who was prepared to go to this length to get his/her way. If she does have such a fear, she's demonstrating a very unhealthy hysterical reaction, but I'd bet it's about power as well.

In our relationships with anyone, compromise between the parties is what makes them work.

Jamie

 

[montysrainbow]

extremely manipulative mother-in-law to get her own way, regardless of the cost to you.
[/QUOTE]

This one comment pretty much somes her up. Her and my issues go way beyond this. She is happy now she got her way. But in saying that Blue is right there were several other factors that lead to my decision. My mother inlaw plays mind games and really messes with your head...but thats for a different forum lol. Ive been super sad today looking at his empty enclosures isnt helping. The worst part about yesterday was seeing my 2yr old hug the enclosure saying no my nake hate people they not takibg my nake....him n I were crying together. Anyway thankfully I have plenty to keep me busy and

Thank you for all your kind words....they mean alot.

 

[=bECS=]

Put a realistic looking rubber one in the enclosure, 2 can play your mother in laws game

 

[hoppy]

maybe you can go visit your snake if the person who has it now is near u.
I feel so sorry for you. sometimes people can be jerks.

 

[Bluetongue1]

My apologies for the wording in the above post. The second paragraph, second sentence should have read: “The children’s grandmother was probably not core but added a lot of extra weight.” I should have reread it carefully before posting. Between my appalling lack of typing skills, two missing keys and a spacebar that only works one of about three hits, plus a couple of keys that stick, I don’t get a lot of satisfaction from typing. I often leave key words out, especially “not” and get the intended meaning back to front. Typing is an absolute pain in the butt for me.

Watching and *listening to* your two year old do and say that would have torn at anyone’s heart strings...

I did not wish to mention your M-I-L beyond what I said. However, I will add that a leopard does not change its spots and probably the only difference now is that she will be manipulative close up rather than at a distance. That aside, if you made the decision that the kids should have contact, even though you could live without it, then you have definitely done the right thing in my book.

I hope you and the boys can readjust quickly *to the snake going*.

Blue

EDIT: *No, it was not omitted deliberately to illustrate. Lol. Maybe it's old age as well?

 

[Pythoninfinite]

Montysrainbow, thanks for the response. I think it was fairly evident that there were "issues" between you, there was a bit of a power struggle, and I guess it has to do with wife's vs mother's control over your husband. I know this is very personal for you, and I'm sorry I can't offer any solution, but it's a scenario I've seen on a few occasions. Your finally having to give up something you love to maintain the integrity of your family is a tragedy for you, but a big victory for her. It puts her back in the box seat.

The fact that she was prepared to go without seeing her grandchildren is simply evidence of her determination to prevail over you. I hope that at some time very soon you can, with the support of your husband/partner, regain some control, and the ability to do the things that YOU enjoy doing without undue influence.

I'm sure the snake was just a convenient lever for her to pull when the time came. It wasn't the real issue.

Jamie

 

[montysrainbow]

well I received an email today saying oh goody now I can come annoy you all! I wrote back and explained I will be getting another snake but it will be smaller. I didn't receive a reply! but im def getting another snake at some stage. Im thinking jungle lol its not as small as a stimmy but its gotta be a bit smaller than a big old coastal? Anyways im just thinking about it for now...im still super sad but time heals all im not rushing in mind u I did think about it. Ive been in contact with gorgoos new owners and he is being treated with royalty!

 

[Lawra]

Kudos for having 7 sons btw. You must be one strong woman!

 

[Leasdraco]

Good on you Montys it might take your MIL down a peg to know that she doesn't rule YOUR house or life.