Idiotic people that bring teh lulz or grinds your gears :/

[kawasakirider]

Urban Dictionary: for-teh-lulz

 

[nathancl]

Is Joseph jesus's dad?
so if you can see the moon during the day are there 2 moons?

person1: *waving hand on otherside of person2's head and looking into the other persons ear laughing
Person2: whats so funny?
Person1: theres nothing in there I can see my hand on the otherside
Person2: and......havent you ever looked through your lizards ears before.....

 

[metalboy]

i was sitting in mayfield centrelink waiting for one of my bum mates to finish and his girlfriend asked me if dogs had xray vison
and waited for me to answer!!

 

[Bel03]

Something that really irritates me.......people that insist on being a*holes just for the sake of it! My partner is a member of a fish forum, & after reading through a few posts, i was shocked to see how rude, childish, & nasty some of these 'grown ups' can be........that was until i posted the 'census' joke on here......now i realise these 'people' are everywhere! Im not usually one to care what people have to say about me, but after being called self righteous, a bigot, & a racist, just to name a few, simply because i posted a joke......not created, just posted, i am disgusted that these 'grown ups' think it is ok to judge someone they know nothing about.....my 5y.o has better manners then these 'grown ups'!

On a brighter note, majority i have spoken to on here have been wonderful, & i thank these people for making me feel welcome! (i could say a bit more about the 'others' however i will not stoop to their level, as i was taught 'if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all')

 

[Wally]

People that lack independent thought.

 

[Treknotechelaps]

A mate asked me once if birds sleep on their sides like people lol...the same bloke also asked me if male prostitutes existed lol. He's not an idiot tho, just a bit nieve :shock:

 

[skatterd]

lol when i was back at school i was dating a very intellectual girl named Tahlia, anyway, walking to the bus stop after school we saw one of the side streets being re-surfaced... and i guess i wasn't really expecting someone of her intelligence to turn around to me and say "hey look, the roads are being re-tard" definatly made my day... as i was calling her retard for the next few months for cracks and gigs... perhaps thats why our relationship had problems???

 

[Chantelle_1]

This girl (I might add, she was 24) I knew was asked to make a cup of white tea, no sugar for an older friend. When the cup of tea was made and presented to the woman, the woman said "Oh sorry dear, I asked for white tea" and the girl replied "it is white, I used white sugar". I kid you not. Some people are so dumb!!

 

[unseen]

Move out of ipswich. =p

so another thread got me thinking about how idiotic statements can make your day, or put you in a mood.

Share some, but don't use forum posts as an example (i know i've had my fair share of stupid posts) but people could get offended. I've seen visitor conversations bitching about other people and it's no good, not what i'm after here.

Just your day to day encounters with people that make you smile, or put your fist through a wall :d

i'll start

my brother had a landcruiser with a less than perfect idle, (plus the choke was on, lol) some douche walked out of the servo and asked how much the v8 conversion cost him, and if it was a crate motor, hahaha.

I was in subway not so long ago, and this woman (i think she was mentally "touched") had a fur coat from big w (still had the tag on it) and was insisting that the cashier try it on. It was pretty filthy, but she kept insisting so the cashier caved and put the jacket on and the woman went into a big spiel about how she (the cashier) was wearing a coat worth over 10k.

The other night in eagleboys, this guy was asking about employment for his son, and asked the employee he was talking to "so how much would he expect to earn $2 bucks an hour? You guys don't earn much aye, hahahaha" while the boss was in the background, typical bogan. Like his son's gunna get a job there now.

i have a mate who is dumber than what i flush, anyway ive got a heap of good ones about him but this is my personal favourite.....

ok so he has a VL commodore he insists on turning into a street machince but as he is useless i do all his work. this isnt my fault btw....

he was driving on the ipswich motorway doing 90kmph, and he see's a mag like his roll past him, his first thought was haha someone just lost a wheel, his second thought was i wonder if i could use it for a spare next minute GGCCCRRRHHHHHHHHHHHH car lost balance and i should find a photo this brake rotor was about 1cm on being ground into the hub. but anyway i was out on my parents station at the time of this incident so instead of getting someone to replace is rotor and assess the damage (also needed new strut assy) he decided to drive around on it for a week until i got back.

to be honest i dont know how this happened and even more how he didnt rip a caliper off whilst driving it around for a week but i think someone tried to jack his wheels.

this is my personal fav but there are alot funnier

 

[kawasakirider]

The above happened to me ^^^

I put a 2003 XR6 engine into my EA, I converted the engine from coil pack to dizzy and ran an EL ECU with a smartlock bypass module. Anyway, it was down at the local RACQ getting roadworthied, and the next day I had to drive it along the highway to the transport dept. to register it.

I wasn't supposed to be driving, because 3 bones in my hand were snapped in half, and they were bolted up with titanium, and had pins and things like that. I still had the cast on. So I wanted to drive, and my grandfather let me. I had my GF, our dog, and my grandfather and grandmother in the car doing about 110 on a really dodgy part of the bruce highway.

The car started to go all over the place, and the back wheel came off, there was a semi coming in the other direction and a huge drop off the other side, so I hit the hazards and held it as straight as I could. It was crazy how deep the gouges in the bitumen were from the hub!

I had some nice rims on the car, and I'm guessing someone tried to pinch them, but got interrupted and the studs were loose. All 5 snapped off clean -.-

 

[mysnakesau]

....." definatly made my day... as i was calling her retard for the next few months for cracks and gigs... perhaps thats why our relationship had problems???

That wasn't nice. I would have left you, too. That is an offensive word to call someone who is suppose to be your friend.

 

[Jen]

lol when i was back at school i was dating a very intellectual girl named Tahlia, anyway, walking to the bus stop after school we saw one of the side streets being re-surfaced... and i guess i wasn't really expecting someone of her intelligence to turn around to me and say "hey look, the roads are being re-tard" definatly made my day... as i was calling her retard for the next few months for cracks and gigs... perhaps thats why our relationship had problems???

I don't get this? She used the correct term....You just cannot spell it - re-tarred.

 

[vampstorso]

lol when i was back at school i was dating a very intellectual girl named Tahlia, anyway, walking to the bus stop after school we saw one of the side streets being re-surfaced... and i guess i wasn't really expecting someone of her intelligence to turn around to me and say "hey look, the roads are being re-tard" definatly made my day... as i was calling her retard for the next few months for cracks and gigs... perhaps thats why our relationship had problems???

well...I thought it was cute at least haha
I always call myself a retard when I've done something dumb since I don't consider it a valid word generally (you don't actually describe people with disability in that way anymore), but beyond that I just thought this was witty

 

[AllThingsReptile]

Lol, I love this thread. People talking about food reminds me of my Uncle. One day my Auntie was gong out somewhere and left a pie for my Uncle with instructions on how to cook it. When she returned home she asked him how the pie was. He said it tasted good and that he liked the glaze she put on it. It turns out she didn't put a glaze on the pie, in the instructions she gave him she forgot to mention that he needed to take the glad wrap off the pie before cooking it... :lol:

^something similar:
my sister and i were over at a mates house (my mate's sister is my sisters friend) and my mates sister (grace) comes out and says "are mince pies meat?" my sister (elaine) says "uh, yeh", so grace cooked them, she came out a while later and said "are you sure they were meat pies, they have sugar on top", she had cooked fruit mince pies.....

 

[Dipcdame]

An old girlfriend had a Torana. One day the blinkers stopped blinking. Told her that the alternator had broken.

She spent three hours that night arguing with her father over the fact that her car needed a new alternator.

Lol Tinky, did almost the same with my daughter, she applied the brakes in her car one day and they squealed, you know that awful fingernails on blackboards sort of sound? I commented "MICHELLE! Those brakes sound TERRIBLE, about time you got them greased, that's sooooooo bad"
Said daughter went home full of righteous indignation to her hubby, and lambasted him for not looking after the brakes, and ordered him to go out and immediately get them greased. Took half an hour of debating and arguing and tantrums, daughters final argument was MY MUM KNOWS ABOUT THESE THINGS when her hubby realised what had happened, knowing what i'm like. Took him a while to calm her down and explain to her ............... and she's not even blonde!!!