I could double this thread easily...I'll go for a couple of regulars.
Me: Hi mate, I'll have to ask you to leave the club- you look like you've had enough to drink.
Dummy:**** off idiot.
Me: Well, you can leave, or I can throw you out. Up to you.
Dummy: go naway you thryd, I've only had one beer and thhuytd is my ghdyb, so **** OFF
Me: You've obviously had enough, you need to leave.
Dummy:**** off, I'll leave when I'm ready ya ****.
Me: No, you're leaving now.(open palm on dummys back, other hand motions toward door)
Dummy: DONT ****ING TOUCH ME (throws punch, misses, throws kick, about 1 foot away from my shin)
Dummy, now in standing shoulderlock:What the **** are you throwing me out for???? I didnt do nothing!!!!
I swear this happens 20 times every night.