need a shoulder to cry on :( and some help from other Mums and Dads...

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

this morning i had to put my daughters cat down. she had kidney failure. i was never ever a cat person really until Miaow entered our lives. even hubby adored her. i just feel soooo sad.

this is one of the only pictures i have of her...

how do i explain to my 2 yr old that her best friend is never coming back?

thanks everyone.

 

[mad_at_arms]

Hopefully at that age the impact of the event won't last too long for your little one.
RIP Miaow

 

[Renenet]

I am so sorry to hear that. :cry: It's so hard to lose a treasured companion. While I don't have any advice about what to tell your child, I'm certain someone else on here will be able to help you there.

Rest well, Miaow.

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

I hope not. we did take her out and buy her a new kitten, and tried to explain to her that Miaow is playing in heaven with Sammy (her grandparents dog that just passed as well) but she keeps asking when we are picking up Miaow from the vets. I dunno what upsets me more, seeing her confused or losing the cat....

Thanks Renenet.

 

[Boidae]

It's never easy losing a pet, I'm really sorry for your loss.
Your best off just gently explaining it to her, death is a natural part of life.
R.I.P Miaow

 

[vampstorso]

what about childrens books?
I'm sure if you google there would be some books that gently touch on the topic in ways children can understand?

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

Thanks Liasis Freak. Its very hard to explain death to a 2yr old. We have told her that Miaow was very sick and had to go to sleep forever.

They were the best of friends. the cat used to follow her every where. I always knew when Matilda was awake because the cat would run to her door.they would chase each other through the house, and played together all day

The worst thing is the poor cat was only a year old.

what about childrens books?
I'm sure if you google there would be some books that gently touch on the topic in ways children can understand?

Vampstoro- Thank you so much!!! Thats a brilliant idea!! hadnt thought of that.

 

[TaraLeigh]

Awww. I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your daughter.
I feel for you and know your pain, I've just lost 2 of my much loved frogs.
I can really only offer to be honest as possible to your little one and say that Miaow isn't coming back, she's in heaven with Sammy and we have a new cat now [I know it's not the same]. Just give her as much love and attention as possible.
You have my shoulder if I can have yours too :cry:

 

[Suenstu]

Sorry for your loss. So sad to lose a member of the family. (

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

Awww. I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your daughter.
I feel for you and know your pain, I've just lost 2 of my much loved frogs.
I can really only offer to be honest as possible to your little one and say that Miaow isn't coming back, she's in heaven with Sammy and we have a new cat now [I know it's not the same]. Just give her as much love and attention as possible.
You have my shoulder if I can have yours too :cry:

Any time TaraLeigh xxxx

Sorry for your loss. So sad to lose a member of the family. (

Thanks Suenstu.

 

[Spider178]

I remember when our cat had to be put down, we explained to our then 3 year old boy that Jaffa was very sick and it was the kindest thing to do while trying to hold back my own tears. We had a little funeral on the back lawn and he wanted to know what would happen to her now. Was difficult as we had had Jaffa for a long time.

He likes to know all the facts so we explained that Jaffa would turn into dirt and tried to explain to him in simple terms what happens when we die.

Later on we went into town for a coffee to try and cheer ourselves up a bit and I still remember this like it was yesterday, my son stood up on the chair so he could see the girl making the coffee and said to her "Our cat died and now she is turning to dirt".

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry but my wife and I looked at each other and both thought the same thing, he understands and he's gunna be ok. Every kid is different but I think if you are honest they will be ok.

Good luck and so sorry about the loss of your family member.

 

[Bel03]

im sorry for yours & your family's loss, it is such a hard time, i dont really know if it will help you or not, but when my son lost his guinea pig just recently, he was heartbroken, i took him to the nursery & let him pick a 'special plant', which we planted in memory of bam bam, he picked where he wanted it planted & the whole family takes care of it.......if it happens to die, it can be replaced easily enough without him needing to know......big love to your little one, death is hard for small children to understand, but they are fortunate enough to be able to overcome their sadness quite easily. Just always talk positively about your kitty, maybe referring to her as 'angel kitty' will help her understand she wont be coming home.....it helped my son with his guinea pig, & also my nanna whom just passed away, he knows that she is an angel now so we can longer see her, but she is still always in our hearts. Try to remember you done the right thing & stay strong, your little girl will feel your pain very easily!

 

[Kelly86]

sorry to hear your sad news, my little dog recently passed away too. i have a 3year old that didnt understand either, i told my son that the dog is in heaven in the sky with all his friends playing in the clouds. it kind of worked but he still asks me to go in the sky and get him its amazing how such little kids can share such strong bonds with animals. i hope your daughter is ok, she will most probably keep asking about her kitty for a while, my dogs been gone since june and my son mentions him every day <3

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

He likes to know all the facts so we explained that Jaffa would turn into dirt and tried to explain to him in simple terms what happens when we die.

Later on we went into town for a coffee to try and cheer ourselves up a bit and I still remember this like it was yesterday, my son stood up on the chair so he could see the girl making the coffee and said to her "Our cat died and now she is turning to dirt".

Thank you for sharing this, it not only made me smile for the first time today, I also shed a tear!such an innocent thing to say. I only hope that she has a better grasp on things than I give her credit for me- she never ceases to amaze me with the things she comes out with!

As we have 2 dogs in the yard that love to dig, we couldnt bury her at home and asked the vet to dispose of her, but we all said our goodbyes and I stayed with her as they gave her the shot and I have some sense of peace as she was purring when she went.

sorry to hear your sad news, my little dog recently passed away too. i have a 3year old that didnt understand either, i told my son that the dog is in heaven in the sky with all his friends playing in the clouds. it kind of worked but he still asks me to go in the sky and get him its amazing how such little kids can share such strong bonds with animals. i hope your daughter is ok, she will most probably keep asking about her kitty for a while, my dogs been gone since june and my son mentions him every day <3

i am definately expecting that!!!! when she had just turned 1 we saw a stray kitten in the carpark down the road, she still asks about that every time we walk past the carpark!!! shes got a memory like an elephant this one

 

[Black.Rabbit]

I'm sorry for your loss. It's so hard losing a pet, I still get quite upset about the death of my cats when I was a kid.

As for explaining it to a 2 year old. My husband died when my son was 2, the night that it happened he asked where daddy was and I told him he was on the moon. Ever since then he has always blown kisses to the moon and talked to the moon to tell daddy about his day or how much he loves him... he actually calls the moon daddy. I think it was the easiest way for him to understand, as 2 year olds don't really have a concept of heaven... although I am not religious.

Now he is 5, he understands that daddy's body is in the ground but his soul is on the moon.

 

[Carnelian]

Sorry to hear of your families loss Sarah :cry: e ha to have our 18yr old kitty put to sleep over the last school holidays, I still miss here heaps & get very upset. I rescued her when I was 15 & had just left home due to having huge problems at home.
My husband & I knew pretty quickly that our cats organs were shutting down & we knew we had to have her put to sleep. I told the 4 kids as soon as I was capable of doing it, I was totally up front & answered all their questions. Although my lot are much older then your little girl, kids are pretty quick to pick up on whats going on as long as they have the facts & they are given the info in an age appropriate way. This is something I think all parents struggle with cause every kid is different. If they have trouble understanding I always ask them how they would feel in that situation, it seems to help them sit back & think about things & get a different perspective.

Let her know that kitty was very sick & you had to do the kindest thing for her. Explain that this way she wouldn't have been in pain & she no longer has to suffer. Make sure she understands, answer all questions & give her loads of cuddles.

We have always been totally up front with all aspects of life, we are not religious at all so god & heaven have never come into it at all, that is for them to decide when they get older. But I definitely think being up front & honest is the way to go.

 

[snakeluvver]

Really sorry to hear, I hope your daughter understands and it doesn't upset her too badly

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

Thank you for the kind words Carnelian xxxx

I am exactly the same with religion, but must say I love the idea of a happy place for her at this age. I lost my dad at 7 and my mum is occasionally religious so It always comforted me imagining a "happy" place. In all other aspects of this I have been upfront and honest worth her and I am sure she will process it and ask me some questions over the next few days/weeks. At the moment I dont think it has really sunk in and it seems to be a matter of just repeating what, why, where etc...

 

[Carnelian]

It will take time, I can still see my girl curdled up in her favourite spots around the house, I still think to go & check on her. It is very strange. My girls quite often come up & give me a hug & say "I miss her mum".
Try to remind her of funny things that have happened. Maybe get a little photo album that you could put pics in of your daughter & the kitty, mine get on the computer & go through all the recent pics of our kitty, this can make them laugh if they come across a pic that reminds them of a good memory which I think helps.

 

[Smithers]

Sad your childs lost a pet, Next snake is?