Quotes
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kellyandgreg
Not so new Member
build it and they will come
jessb
Very Well-Known Member
"When I'm good I am very very good, but when I'm bad I'm better." Mae West.
Moreliaman
Very Well-Known Member
I started out in life with nothing !...........i still have most of it left !
JoshMVG
Active Member
Im not fat i just ate someone who is
JoshMVG
Active Member
If you break a wriiten contract with me il sue you,
If you break a vegral contract with me il kill you!
Sounds best with an Italian or New Jersey accent
If you break a vegral contract with me il kill you!
Sounds best with an Italian or New Jersey accent
ChrisZhang
Well-Known Member
Im as serious as global warming. (is that a quote?)
patience is a virtue
patience is a virtue
dreamkiller
Active Member
i lost my virginity... but i kept the box it came in...
wicca4life7
Not so new Member
heard this one the other day for an english test about euphemisms made me laugh so much!
"calling an illegal immigrant a unlicensed tourist, is like calling a drug dealer an unlicensed pharmasist"
"calling an illegal immigrant a unlicensed tourist, is like calling a drug dealer an unlicensed pharmasist"
ryanharvey1993
Very Well-Known Member
love the family guy quotes, love the show, everything on it is funny
russel coight quote: crocodiles can grow up to 20 feet, but most only have 4"
also sawyer off the show lost always says funny stuff, gotta be a fan of the show to like them though
russel coight quote: crocodiles can grow up to 20 feet, but most only have 4"
also sawyer off the show lost always says funny stuff, gotta be a fan of the show to like them though
Last edited:
ryanharvey1993
Very Well-Known Member
Russell Coight: The outback is a dangerous place and I should know, I've injured myself out there. All I have to say is two words. Be ware.
Russell Coight: I gained most of my vast knowledge of the outback from my father Russell Coight Snr, who taught me everything I know before he died from a combination of a self-inflicted axe wound, sunstroke, and snake-bite.
Russell Coight: Out here, survival is the name of the game. Only it's not a game; it's deadly serious.
Russell Coight: He was presented with a difficult decision: push on into the stretching deserts, or return home to his wife.
Russell Coight: The difference between seeing someone and NOT seeing someone in the outback is 110 square kilometers. That's alotta land, and not many people. Depending on where you are within that land.If you're in a town, the numbers go right up.
Russell Coight: Some of the animals are nocturnal, so the best time to see them is at night. Only you can't see them, because it's dark.
Russell Coight: The cattle froze to death, which proved something of a setback - although it did make the muster considerably easier.
Russell Coight: I never go into the outback without a decent supply of water, and the general rule for how much you'll need is three litres per day, per person, per man, per degree over 25 degrees celcius, per kilometre if walking on foot, in the winter months dividing it by two, plus... another litre... at the end.
Russell Coight: I gained most of my vast knowledge of the outback from my father Russell Coight Snr, who taught me everything I know before he died from a combination of a self-inflicted axe wound, sunstroke, and snake-bite.
Russell Coight: Out here, survival is the name of the game. Only it's not a game; it's deadly serious.
Russell Coight: He was presented with a difficult decision: push on into the stretching deserts, or return home to his wife.
Russell Coight: The difference between seeing someone and NOT seeing someone in the outback is 110 square kilometers. That's alotta land, and not many people. Depending on where you are within that land.If you're in a town, the numbers go right up.
Russell Coight: Some of the animals are nocturnal, so the best time to see them is at night. Only you can't see them, because it's dark.
Russell Coight: The cattle froze to death, which proved something of a setback - although it did make the muster considerably easier.
Russell Coight: I never go into the outback without a decent supply of water, and the general rule for how much you'll need is three litres per day, per person, per man, per degree over 25 degrees celcius, per kilometre if walking on foot, in the winter months dividing it by two, plus... another litre... at the end.
ChrisZhang
Well-Known Member
Inspiration does not come from the quote itself, but rather the person behind it.
ryanharvey1993
Very Well-Known Member
Quagmire: Hey there sweetie, how old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You're first.
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I like where this is goin'! Giggidy, giggidy, gig-gi-dy
[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]
Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.
Peter (after Lois tells him he's childish): "If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if i'm going stand here and take this from a pervert."
Lois: Peter,why are we stopped?
Peter: Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers...
Lois: Peter for God's sakes she's havin' a baby!
Peter: Oh that's right...and a kid's meal... and uh,I, I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz,uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty.
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You're first.
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I like where this is goin'! Giggidy, giggidy, gig-gi-dy
[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]
Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.
Peter (after Lois tells him he's childish): "If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if i'm going stand here and take this from a pervert."
Lois: Peter,why are we stopped?
Peter: Yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers...
Lois: Peter for God's sakes she's havin' a baby!
Peter: Oh that's right...and a kid's meal... and uh,I, I guess I'll have fries...if I have fries is anyone else gonna have any? Cuz,uh I don't wanna be the only one eatin' them... I'll feel like a fatty.
ryanharvey1993
Very Well-Known Member
Peter: Don't worry Chris. Sometimes it's good not to fit in. (Flashback to Veitnam)
Peter (dressed in a clown suit): You guys are stupid. Their gonna be looking for army people.
(Peter has to come up with a fake name on the spot, so he looks around the room to get inspiration)
Peter Griffin: Uh... my name is...(he sees a pea)
Peter Griffin: Pea...
(he sees a woman crying)
Peter Griffin: ... tear...
(he sees a Griffin fly by)
Peter Griffin: ... Griffin. Peter Griffin
Peter - I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your wife's gonna be a vegetable. You're gonna have to bathe her, feed her, and care for her for the rest of your life.
Guy - OH MY GOD!
Peter - No no no, I'm just kiddin. She's dead.
Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah.
Peter: (Grabs the microphone at a fast food restaurant) Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.
Glen Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time.
Quagmire (running through mall and accidentally into the camera room): Where am I, am I dead?
Security Guard: No, this is where we monitor all the dressing rooms in the mall so we can keep an eye out for shoplifters.
(Woman on Monitor has heart attack)
Quagmire: Oh my God! That one's having a heart attack! (Runs to womans dressing room.)
Quagmire: (Rubs womans chest and breathes in her mouth. Woman becomes conscious.)
Woman#2: That was amazing!
Woman#3: You saved her life!
Woman#4: Thank God you know CPR!
Quagmire: What the hell is CPR?
Peter (dressed in a clown suit): You guys are stupid. Their gonna be looking for army people.
(Peter has to come up with a fake name on the spot, so he looks around the room to get inspiration)
Peter Griffin: Uh... my name is...(he sees a pea)
Peter Griffin: Pea...
(he sees a woman crying)
Peter Griffin: ... tear...
(he sees a Griffin fly by)
Peter Griffin: ... Griffin. Peter Griffin
Peter - I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your wife's gonna be a vegetable. You're gonna have to bathe her, feed her, and care for her for the rest of your life.
Guy - OH MY GOD!
Peter - No no no, I'm just kiddin. She's dead.
Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah.
Peter: (Grabs the microphone at a fast food restaurant) Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.
Glen Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time.
Quagmire (running through mall and accidentally into the camera room): Where am I, am I dead?
Security Guard: No, this is where we monitor all the dressing rooms in the mall so we can keep an eye out for shoplifters.
(Woman on Monitor has heart attack)
Quagmire: Oh my God! That one's having a heart attack! (Runs to womans dressing room.)
Quagmire: (Rubs womans chest and breathes in her mouth. Woman becomes conscious.)
Woman#2: That was amazing!
Woman#3: You saved her life!
Woman#4: Thank God you know CPR!
Quagmire: What the hell is CPR?
SAUL
Ah, the cross-joint. You've never seen
one of these? Not surprising. They are,
like, the apex of the vortex of joint
engineering. NASA built the first one in
the eighties.
DALE
You can actually smoke that contraption? SAUL
You light all three ends at the same
time, then, you smoke it as it resonates
the main section, creating a "trifecta"
of smoking power. It's like, three times
as powerful as a normal joint.
DALE
Well, be careful with that thing.
SAUL
Dude...you wanna smoke this thing with
me?
SAUL
I can't even light it on my own.
Ah, the cross-joint. You've never seen
one of these? Not surprising. They are,
like, the apex of the vortex of joint
engineering. NASA built the first one in
the eighties.
DALE
You can actually smoke that contraption? SAUL
You light all three ends at the same
time, then, you smoke it as it resonates
the main section, creating a "trifecta"
of smoking power. It's like, three times
as powerful as a normal joint.
DALE
Well, be careful with that thing.
SAUL
Dude...you wanna smoke this thing with
me?
SAUL
I can't even light it on my own.
ryanharvey1993
Very Well-Known Member
love pinnaple express lol, one of the best movies out, stoned people are always funny, any fans of that I reccomend you get out grandmas boy as it is also about stoners and is heaps funny.
agreed.
and half-baked.
".... but have you tried it ..... on WEED?" love Jon Stewart.
But they really are movies by stoners, for stoners ... lol
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