Single herpers

[AMY22]

you got a dirty mind bro , if god didn't want us to eat animals he wouldn't have made them outa meat

Will have to ask CountryTriton (aka God) about that for confirmation. Although I do believe cute fluffy lambs were made to be eaten.

theres a place for all of god's creatures!

Right next to my mashed potato!!

Whoever said it was wrong to eat an animal? I certainly don’t ever remember saying that. Now if you’d excuse me, I have to go hug some trees...

 

[-Matt-]

Although I do believe cute fluffy lambs were made to be eaten.

I thought you did something else with them Kiwi boy?

 

[maanz641]

oh feel the love

 

[Mudimans]

I thought you did something else with them Kiwi boy?

How do you think they get the meat so tender?

 

[Guest]

Whoever said it was wrong to eat an animal? I certainly don’t ever remember saying that. Now if you’d excuse me, I have to go hug some trees...

hahaha that reminds me of a joke I know!
Oh ok! I'll tell it then


A rich lady from California, who was a tree hugger and a vociferous anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree.

As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts.

In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest country doctor she told him she was an environmentalist and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. Being a hunter himself, the doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared.

The angry lady demanded, "What took you so long?"

He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area and I'm sorry, but they all turned me down."

 

[Mudimans]

I love that lol

 

[DanTheMan]

I thought you did something else with them Kiwi boy?

Hahaha! Well I do like to give the lamb a good pounding to tenderise the meat before eating, maybe pump a bit of seasoning into it, throw it on the barbie and have a nice spit roast?

Edit: Aaah DB beat me to it!

 

[-Matt-]

Hahaha I have nothing to add to that, it is perfect exactly how it is!


Oh yeah and Dan I wont be around tomorrow night anymore... haha

 

[Mudimans]

Remind me never to eat at your place

 

[Guest]

I love that lol

you want another one then?
Ok sure

A golfer is looking for his ball in the woods when he comes up to
another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the trunk.
Seeing this he inquires, "Just out of curiosity, what the hell are
you doing?"

"I'm listening to the music of the tree."

"You gotta be kiddin' me."

"No, would you like to give it a try?"

"Well, OK..."

So he wraps his arms around the tree and presses his ear up
against the tree. With this the other guy slaps a set of handcuffs
on him on the other side of the tree, takes his wallet, jewelry,
car keys, the he strips him naked and leaves.

Two hours later another nature lover strolls by, sees this guy
handcuffed to the tree, stark naked, and asks, "What the hell
happened to you?"

So he tells the guy the whole story about how he got there.

While he was telling his story, the other guy shakes his head in
sympathy, walks around behind him, kisses him gently
behind the ear and says, "This just ain't gonna be your day."

 

[DanTheMan]

Hahaha I have nothing to add to that, it is perfect exactly how it is!

Oh yeah and Dan I wont be around tomorrow night anymore... haha

Haha, suit yourself, you don't know what your missing!
I had something to add, edited it - a spit roast instead

Remind me never to eat at your place

More for me!

 

[-Matt-]

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

[Mudimans]

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.
He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi:
"G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"
Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
Dog: "Yeah, doin' all right."
Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Dog: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food
and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool"
Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the villager)
Horse: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and
keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Kiwi: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Kiwi: (in a panic) " Don't believe a word he says, that sheep's a bloody liar.."​

 

[Guest]

Hahahaha thats a good one

 

[AMY22]

Now can you understand why I’m a vego?

 

[-Matt-]

Haha, suit yourself, you don't know what your missing!
I had something to add, edited it - a spit roast instead

Oh a spit roast! If your planning on spitting a poor wittle lamby I dont want either end of that :lol:

 

[Guest]

Now can you understand why I’m a vego?

I think I want to be a vego now too

 

[DanTheMan]

Oh a spit roast! If your planning on spitting a poor wittle lamby I dont want either end of that :lol:

Are you sure? If you get them at the right age they have no teeth!

 

[-Matt-]

Spoken like a true New Zealander!!!!


(I dont think Ive ever laughed so hard in my life after reading that)

 

[Mudimans]

An Eskimo is traverling through Auckland, when his car breaks down. A Kiwi farmer driving by, decides to stop and help.

After checking under the hood, he looks up and says to the Eskimo,

" Looks like you've blown a seal, mate."

The Eskimo shouts back,

" So what, you **** sheep!!!!"