Argh!!! Room mates!!

[kawasakirider]

I can't even begin to accurately convey my frustration with the room mates I have at the moment, I'll give it a go though.

The house we lived in has been standing for decades, and for the 8 or so months my GF and I have been living here. It's of a decent quality, so you'd expect it to remain standing for the next few decades at least.

Rewind to the last few months. A new couple moved into the next room. They are alright half the time, but the other half they are just horrible....

The have domestics every day (yeah my GF and I fight, but when it happens we try to keep it down), I hear her pleading with him to leave her alone and he just keep antagonising her (she does the same to him)....

They RUN through the house like school children all the time and they are just imbeciles.

A couple of weeks ago they one was chasing the other (for reasons unknown to me) and the back door to the house smashed, it was almost a full size glass pane in the door. They didn't have to pay for ANYTHING.

Then just before I hear him smashing her laptop and saying it's OK because he is buying her a new one (what sort of psychotic reasoning is that???) and then everything goes quiet....

BANG!! One of our bedroom walls (the one we share with them) flexed so much that our table was pushed off it.

I went off my head and burst into their room abusing him (probably the wrong thing to do but I am so over it) and he basically ignores me!!!

He goes outside and I follow him out there fuming about how I am sick of their fighting and what he does to her is wrong (with plenty of explicit words) and he sooks up and runs away!!!

All of this stuff is so frustrating, I feel like smacking him... It annoys me even more that our landlord is a pretty easy going bloke and when the door was broken I HAD to ring him, not them. Then they didn't pay for anything and I helped fit the door!!!

I broke a down pipe and rang him straight away and fixed it! I've also fixed things that they have broken around the house, like the kitchen cupboard doors and things.

How can I reason with this idiot without being rude? I know I delved into their personal business with their fighting and going off at him for it, but I was angry and make no apologies. I do want to fix it though, they aren't bad people when they aren't acting like delinquents.

/Rant

 

[Defective]

ok..whose name is on the lease?? you and your GF or these other drongos?? you may want to have a read of this http://www.legislation.qld.gov.au/LEGISLTN/ACTS/2008/08AC073.pdf and this Tenants' Union of Qld

by law if its your name on the lease you can kick the other couple out just as long as you have sufficient proof as to the damage like photos. if they refuse you can get the police involved and have them removed from the property..just don't end up like a friend of mine, he landed in hospital with mulitple meta tarsel fractures as a result of a physical fight with his house mate who was removed from the premises by force and charged with domestic violence and aggrevated assault.

 

[kawasakirider]

Lol, I snapped 3 of my metacarpals in half. My hand rivals that of iron mans, now.

No one is on the lease, there was no lease, lol. Just a bloke doing things privately.

 

[DeadCricket]

If he is physically abusing her he deserves a smack

 

[kawasakirider]

Yeah but that's the thing, he's not physically abusing her to the point that he warrants having his head kicked in. My GF and I have been trying to work out what is going on and I guess there is some amount of physical "detainment" but no hitting/slapping.

Once I heard that she was being sat on, it started out like a game (the walls are paper thin) and she had enough, but he wouldn't get off her. He's never hit her, if he did, he'd be on his *** and out.

Another thing that annoyed me, is when I was getting up him about how he treats her and he ran away, SHE had the hide to get up me for going off at him. Like ***!!???

 

[Defective]

ahhh thats the biggest problem with private rentals and no lease. hmm best thing you can do is record the arguments on a mobile or something and just keep it handy, anything he says to you that is in any way abusive write it down..i know it sounds childish and school like but i've done this with a co-worker and had them removed of the office it proves effective. threaten them that if they don't stop with the BS then you'll take it to the cops... promise he wont like that at all and with the threat hanging over his head it will settle right down...i have a mate that is a property manager and this is the kind of thing she suggests.

 

[kawasakirider]

The thing is, he is very submissive when I confront him. He doesn't threaten me at all. I can't really say to the cops that he's done anything directly to me.

I'll record the arguments if they keep happening. I told him to pull his head in, and I'm fairly sure he's taken it on board.

 

[BigWillieStyles]

time to move out and get your own place

 

[Defective]

i hate that. all ballsy to their partner and dominating but as soon as you separate them and confront the main offender their balls shrivel to raisins and they won't confront you.....my biggest pet hate!

 

[kawasakirider]

time to move out and get your own place

90% sure we have just been approved for a pet friendly place closer to the CBD!!! We have to stay in a share house though, because we are students and renting around the city is fairly expensive. But the girls we are moving in with are really nice.

 

[glassless_mind]

good luck with your move, living with housemates can suck! I had a violent alcoholic housemate who used to scream at us and smash our things and the house. Unfortunately all our names were on the lease and we couldn't get rid of him. All you can really do is record exactly what happens, so if it ever does go to the police, you have some sort or backup, and can tell them exactly what's been going on. It is hard to live with though, and it affects your life hugely when you have to live with someone like that, because it's at your home and you can't get away from it.
If there's no lease though, then you're not liable for any damage they do. Just let them live your life and let them live theirs. Stop taking the damage they do on yourself because at the end of the day it's not your problem.
I wish you luck though, I know it's hard to live with. I hope everything works out for you in the end

 

[dale1988]

i ended a 12 year friendship with my mate recently livng with friends does not work lol

 

[mattyg]

90% sure we have just been approved for a pet friendly place closer to the CBD!!! We have to stay in a share house though, because we are students and renting around the city is fairly expensive. But the girls we are moving in with are really nice.

be careful of girl germs man!!

 

[kawasakirider]

good luck with your move, living with housemates can suck! I had a violent alcoholic housemate who used to scream at us and smash our things and the house. Unfortunately all our names were on the lease and we couldn't get rid of him. All you can really do is record exactly what happens, so if it ever does go to the police, you have some sort or backup, and can tell them exactly what's been going on. It is hard to live with though, and it affects your life hugely when you have to live with someone like that, because it's at your home and you can't get away from it.
If there's no lease though, then you're not liable for any damage they do. Just let them live your life and let them live theirs. Stop taking the damage they do on yourself because at the end of the day it's not your problem.
I wish you luck though, I know it's hard to live with. I hope everything works out for you in the end

Thanks for the advice, I'll take it on board

The only reason I cared about the damage they did tonight was because it broke the wall that we shared. It's only a bit of grout though (the timber planks flexed and the grout cracked) so there's no point telling the landlord when I can fix it....

i ended a 12 year friendship with my mate recently livng with friends does not work lol

I didn't know them until they moved in. After they moved in we became friendly. I tore him a new ring today though, so I don't think it's going to be friendly smooth sailing from now on, oh well his loss. He doesn't have a car and I used to give them lifts places, back to the foot falcon.

be careful of girl germs man!!

Cheers man, I'll take that advice on board. I've been living with my mrs for close to 3 years. I am pretty sure I'm immune to her germs. Is it different from girl to girl? I better get some of those painters masks just in case.

 

[Crystal..Discus]

Girls are hell to live with. Be prepared for that. Dishes will be unwashed, clothes left on the floor, if they have control of the loungeroom, it'll be covered with mags and random bottles of nail polish. Your water bills will suck, and if one of them has an airconditioner, lay it flat out on the line that you will NOT pay for them to use it.

If one of them turns on you, then they probably all will.

...that's just what I've found, anyway.

 

[longqi]

Girls are great to live with

We had a little earthquake early this week
about 6.5 richter
Big Big night the night before so they were all in various bedrooms snoring
One guy=== me
5 half naked women to console and tell it was going to ok as they huddled in the courtyard

 

[kawasakirider]

Girls are hell to live with. Be prepared for that. Dishes will be unwashed, clothes left on the floor, if they have control of the loungeroom, it'll be covered with mags and random bottles of nail polish. Your water bills will suck, and if one of them has an airconditioner, lay it flat out on the line that you will NOT pay for them to use it.

If one of them turns on you, then they probably all will.

...that's just what I've found, anyway.

I already live with 3. My GF, and the girl I've mentioned in this thread and another that occupies another room. If the dishes are unwashed I will just put them on their bed, haha.

In all seriousness though, the girl that I met that is staying in the house (the other girl I met is moving) is mid 20's and very nice. She can hold a decent conversation which is very different to the girl I've been talking about in this thread. The room mates here don't do their dishes and they pile up, so I can't see how it would be any worse.

They reckon the water bill was like $12 each, I find that hard to believe, but I like long showers too, so if they're gunna do it and I have to pay an equal amount, then I will milk it also, haha. The magazines aren't too much of an issue, I read the odd "Dolly Doctor" haha, plus I have a ridiculous amount of moto and car mags that I can dress the place up with. Nail polish and supre clothing landmines I could do without, though....

Plus with this new place it's in Tarrigindi, which is like 10 minutes from QUT where my GF studies, I have my own undercover garage space, pets are allowed and there is an entertaining area outside, which we don't really have here.

Definitely looking forward to getting out of Ipswich and closer to the city. Hopefully the job opportunities are greater.

 

[Virides]

You don't need any reason to kick them out. On the form when it says "what reason" the only actual reason you can use is they are not paying rent. Otherwise you have to tick the without reason panel. To you it can be any reason under the sun, but it cannot be written on the form as a valid reason. The without reason panel refers to personal incompatabilities basically.

I have kicked out 3 insane stressful people in my time.

1. A woman from China that I should have met prior to letting her move in... she was nuts, she claimed that burning the benchtop was "natural wear and tear" She never paid for it... $350 there...

2. I was living with a criminal and never knew about it... Grant Lambert, fraudster. He was in jail a couple of years for stealing money from the government, and he was on parole. He did a runner and went to NSW (supposed to stay in QLD) and he owed me $900 in rent He was a horribly untidy chain smoker... rather than putting the butts in the bin I provided him... he threw them all into the tree near the back steps... which he wouldn't clean... I had to ... If you have this guy inspecting your place to move in, he is about 24, black hair, no upper front teeth............ this was by far my worst experience ever and it was 8months i wish i didnt endure.

3. A mate of Grant's who wasn't really that bad...other than being an alcoholic that would break into the house even though he had a key...

Since these hat trick group of mental patients... I refuse to have any housemates who are not either family of friends I know well.

 

[Elapidae1]

Maybe try and counsel her rather than him. Sitting on someone so they can't leave is physical assault, pressing or pushing someone up against a wall with enough force to move furniture in the adjoining room is abusive behaviour, he doesn't have to punch or slap her for it to be deemed abusive.

He sounds like an idiot.

 

[Bel03]

^^^^ agreed with above! YES, it may be foolish that she would come to his defense when you were clearly standing up for her........but after i myself spent 7yrs with a VERY abusive man, i can also understand why she did that.......to protect herself! Can you imagine what he would have said or done to her if she just let you abuse him, on her behalf, & she said nothing........it probaly wouldnt have been nice. I really feel for women that go through this, & the whole 'oh but he hasnt punched me'.........it DOES eventually get to that point if he is already showing signs of being an abuser. It may take years, but it is guaranteed to happen. Talking to or trying to counsel her may not help too much either though, i honestly was a very smart, head screwed on straight kind of girl before i got with my ex.......& although i cant explain how or even why, they do have the ability to 'change' who you are, you for some stupid reason believe it is your fault & no matter what anyone says to you, until you actually 'get better' in your own head, you wont make her see that what he is doing is wrong. I lost many friends & family members for this exact reason. Its great that you & your mrs are able to move on, hopefully things are alot nicer for you once you have moved. Maybe, if you do feel for this girl, which it sounds as though you may, & you do want to help if possible, just leave a number with her, your gf's would probaly be best, & let her know she can call you if ever she needs a hand.........or, do what everyone else does & just walk away, at the end of the day its not your problem, & she will hopefully get out herself before its too late.