Love Thy Retail Worker !

[bellany]

Ok so I spilt many a drink laughin my *** off with love thy customer, but can we also have some stories about the retail person being a twit too?

Mine -

Knock Knock.
Hiblaablaalaalaa Can I change your electricity provider.?
Me - Um I can't understand a word ur saying so um no..
Hubby - Going to the gym babe kiss kiss walks out
Indian Dude - Um miss can I come in side for ur water, I want to know you better please
Me - Say what? No dude, go away
Indian dude - But I need to know you better, hasssle hassle time goes by and he's tryin to get in my house
Me - Look my partner is due for his parole hearing tomorrow and you hassling me while he has his psychotic breaks and paranoia is not helping his manslaughter case, so please leave..
Indian Dude.. dude? duuude ... oh ur running down the street now?

 

[Dmnted]

Bah ha ha ha ha. ill use that one!

 

[CrystalMoon]

Just the other day..... Me to the petshop girl on phone- I am needing a product to kill snake mites(they sell reptiles)do you have any? her- I am not sure long pause.... me- Do you think you might be able to find out please? her- uhmm its down the back of the shop, long pause..... me- would you like me to ring back? her- uhmmmmm pause...... nah I spose I can go look... me- thank you... long long long pause she comes back and says yes we do have 2 products.... me- Ok great thank you, what are they and can I use them on the enclosure and snake? her- uhmmmm I cant remember what they are called uhmmm repti sumpfin.... me- repti guard? her- nup.... me do you think you could take a look for me please? her uuuhhhmmm you could come in and look at them.... Me, Ok that might be the quicker option...... her- (sarcasm was completely lost on her) Yes I think it would be definitely quicker for you.... me- Thank-you you've been less than helpful.... her- Your welcome ......... If nothing else it really made me laugh doesnt help they are the only pet shop here lol...........

 

[miss_mosher]

Me: "Do you have any idea what time it is?"
Indian telemarketer: "Yes mam, I actually do, I'm calling from Melbourne it's 7:30pm."
Me: "Yes it's 7:30 at night and I'm right in the middle of having dinner with my family!"
Indian telemarketer: "WELL HOW ABOUT YOU STOP EATING FOR 10 MINUTES AND SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO MY DEAL!"
Me: *puts phone on loudspeaker for all to hear*
*telemarketer continues with psychotic breakdown then tries to sell me her hotel deal*

Just the other day..... Me to the petshop girl on phone- I am needing a product to kill snake mites(they sell reptiles)do you have any? her- I am not sure long pause.... me- Do you think you might be able to find out please? her- uhmm its down the back of the shop, long pause..... me- would you like me to ring back? her- uhmmmmm pause...... nah I spose I can go look... me- thank you... long long long pause she comes back and says yes we do have 2 products.... me- Ok great thank you, what are they and can I use them on the enclosure and snake? her- uhmmmm I cant remember what they are called uhmmm repti sumpfin.... me- repti guard? her- nup.... me do you think you could take a look for me please? her uuuhhhmmm you could come in and look at them.... Me, Ok that might be the quicker option...... her- (sarcasm was completely lost on her) Yes I think it would be definitely quicker for you.... me- Thank-you you've been less than helpful.... her- Your welcome ......... If nothing else it really made me laugh doesnt help they are the only pet shop here lol...........

Makes you wonder how some people get by hey? Jeeebus...

 

[saximus]

I love screwing with telemarketers. If I'm in the right mood I can have them on the phone for ages. They seem to be getting snarkier lately though. I've had them swear at me or abuse me before hanging up. My favourite though was the guy was told me he was going to sue me for wasting HIS time lol

 

[JackTheHerper]

Guy Come To The Door
"hello is your mother here"
So i decided to mess around a bit, I said a few words in japanese, and i sh** you not... he knew japanese

 

[browny]

telemarketers are great fun if you have very young children......that have just learnt how to talk properly...and like asking question after question....and never stop

bwahaha

 

[miss_mosher]

telemarketers are great fun if you have very young children......that have just learnt how to talk properly...and like asking question after question....and never stop

bwahaha

Haha yes I have a three year old sister who does not shut up. So I usually just give the phone to her and when they hang up she frowns and yells out "how rude!" haha!

 

[Snakewoman]

No telemarketers have called here for a long time but if one did I'd love to tell them that the house they called is a murder scene... I wonder if they'd still try to sell me something after that?

 

[JackTheHerper]

If you ever catch a plane and someone starts a conversation with you "So what do you do for a living" "Oh i spend most my time Killing people... ya know" Just as good

 

[browny]

No telemarketers have called here for a long time but if one did I'd love to tell them that the house they called is a murder scene... I wonder if they'd still try to sell me something after that?

mate of mine does the....."where the hell are you the body's still in the garage" funny how they never stay on the line after that haha

 

[grannieannie]

I recently got an email that had a thing about telemarketers on it, where the chap told the telemarketer he was a police officer at a murder scene in the house of the man the telemarketer was trying to contact. He had this poor bloke just about wetting himself, the... police officer ... asking how he knew the occupant of the house, could he come down to the police station and be interviewed, what was his home address if he wouldn't come to the police station, so the cops could come to him....it was very funny !! Me personally.....I just hang up on them !!!

 

[CrystalMoon]

I recently got an email that had a thing about telemarketers on it, where the chap told the telemarketer he was a police officer at a murder scene in the house of the man the telemarketer was trying to contact. He had this poor bloke just about wetting himself, the... police officer ... asking how he knew the occupant of the house, could he come down to the police station and be interviewed, what was his home address if he wouldn't come to the police station, so the cops could come to him....it was very funny !! Me personally.....I just hang up on them !!!

I am afraid I am a little like Saximus, I tend to play with them... depends on my mood really I can really draw the whole scene out if I am feeling like it lol I will say the females tend to explode the Men usually just hang up lol mind you I think I am one of the few who can actually upset a crank caller ha ha ha ha

 

[JackTar]

[video=youtube;fl5uhjJFTiE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl5uhjJFTiE[/video]

 

[CrystalMoon]

[video=youtube;fl5uhjJFTiE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl5uhjJFTiE[/video]

that was hilarious.....

 

[grannieannie]

[video=youtube;fl5uhjJFTiE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl5uhjJFTiE[/video]

Yes, that's the video I saw....very funny !!

 

[Fantazmic]

When anyone rings up for a survey my Dad always sayd

Yes....I will amswer your survey....but before we start.....Id jus like to let you know my call out rate is $60 per hour or part thereof. They hang up really fast lol

 

[Manda1032]

Miss Mosher, Cleaning up the food that was sprayed everywhere from the laughter must have been a real B****!

 

[miss_mosher]

Miss Mosher, Cleaning up the food that was sprayed everywhere from the laughter must have been a real B****!

Luckily I invested in a small, rodent-like dog that also doubles as the house vacuum for when telemarketers call at dinner time hahaha

 

[Manda1032]

That post JackTar was GOLD!