What will I do now.....?

[SteveNT]

I read a good quote today (that went something like this);

If a child has a problem with reading, we TEACH
If a child has a problem with multiplication, we TEACH
If a child has a problem with writing, we TEACH
If a child has a problem with behaviour, we . . .
PUNISH? . . . or . . . TEACH?
Makes you think doesn't it

Nup, get right and wrong sorted as soon as you can, pre-emptive strike. You cant let it ride for decades then change the rules. Thats just wrong.

 

[Wrightpython]

i get around the smacking by telling my two kids to smack each other when there naughty enough to deserve it. the youngest shore has a good swing on her.

 

[Jeannine]

there is a big difference between giving your child a smack and belting the living daylights out of them

some of these 'experts' need to get their heads out of those books which are usually written by so called other 'experts' who have NO idea about the real world

if time out works for you then thats great, well done however not all children respond to this

for example a child putting things in an electrical socket, some will 'understand' not to do it again but others will only learn by a gentle tap on the fingers not a hard one

i do not believe this garbage that smacking children turns them into bullies, or so mentally unstable they need committing or therapy for years, its a 'lets blame the parents for everything' attitude society can well do without

lots of us were smacked as a child and suffered no long time or ill effects of it, man when i was a kid the words 'wait till your father gets home' had me imaging all sorts of horrible punishments which was a lot worse then the actual events when 'dad got did get home' but now that would probably be viewed as 'cruel and unusual punishment' i can remember my uncle use to have a razor strap hanging behind his door which hung from a hook man i got 'threatened' with that many times, even got my mouthed washed out once with soap for 'swearing' :lol: do do that these days would have the cops coming around to arrest you and the kids get worse because they KNOW their rights and what parents can and cant do and they hold their parents to ransom with it

they are taking more and more rights away form parents and telling them they cant raise their children this way or that and wonder why we have a generation of 'brats' who have NO respect for anyone and yet on the other hand they want to hold parents responsible for the actions of their children? cant have it bloody both ways you morons

belting and abusing children NOT ON, a small smack usually on the bottom where there is a lot of padding is OK in fact a lot of children ive seen around need a good slap

 

[waruikazi]

As i was reading your first 2 paragraphs i was planning on asking you if you had an asian back ground. Asian parents sound scary as!

pffft, i've got smacked with rattan palm sticks (the stuff they use for wicker baskets n stuff) if i scored anything below 60% on any test. Grew up fine, got great marks back in school, and nothing more. If anything i grew up to respect anyone older, and i also understood after awhile that my parents meant the best for me.

And people wonder why younger kids today (not all, but some, i know there's a few mature ones here) act like spoiled brats.

The first year when i was renting one of my housemates had a young daughter, they HAD to make sure she had no signs of any external wounds or blemishes, anything that would indicate abuse (and no, they loved their kid to bits, it's just that people can and do speculate the worst in schoolyards apparently).

Back in SE Asia we have a traditional method of healing people with fever and chills due to bad weather, which involves rubbing eucalyptus oil and using a coin/blunt spoon to rub the back till its red like a pine tree pattern, opens up the pores, helps you sleep, and actually (i know some will scoff at this) does help. Thing is the redness left on the skin surface needs time to heal (like 2-3 days) and doesn't look pretty, very easy to mistake as "abuse".

When the little one once got sick i asked if they did this (because the family and i come from the same country), and with a horrified look they told me they'd risk jail time if they did that.

 

[MathewB]

there is a big difference between giving your child a smack and belting the living daylights out of them

some of these 'experts' need to get their heads out of those books which are usually written by so called other 'experts' who have NO idea about the real world

if time out works for you then thats great, well done however not all children respond to this

for example a child putting things in an electrical socket, some will 'understand' not to do it again but others will only learn by a gentle tap on the fingers not a hard one

i do not believe this garbage that smacking children turns them into bullies, or so mentally unstable they need committing or therapy for years, its a 'lets blame the parents for everything' attitude society can well do without

lots of us were smacked as a child and suffered no long time or ill effects of it, man when i was a kid the words 'wait till your father gets home' had me imaging all sorts of horrible punishments which was a lot worse then the actual events when 'dad got did get home' but now that would probably be viewed as 'cruel and unusual punishment' i can remember my uncle use to have a razor strap hanging behind his door which hung from a hook man i got 'threatened' with that many times, even got my mouthed washed out once with soap for 'swearing' :lol: do do that these days would have the cops coming around to arrest you and the kids get worse because they KNOW their rights and what parents can and cant do and they hold their parents to ransom with it

they are taking more and more rights away form parents and telling them they cant raise their children this way or that and wonder why we have a generation of 'brats' who have NO respect for anyone and yet on the other hand they want to hold parents responsible for the actions of their children? cant have it bloody both ways you morons

belting and abusing children NOT ON, a small smack usually on the bottom where there is a lot of padding is OK in fact a lot of children ive seen around need a good slap

+1

 

[waruikazi]

+1

This is why we have a like button now. You're about to get a smack young man!

 

[MathewB]

 

[junglemac]

I am totally against any form of physical punishment. What do you rely teach your child when smacking them? You do as I say not as I to kinda thing does not work. All you teach them is that when you font get your way you hit them. I have never hit any of my kids, and all though they can be a handful at home, they are all exemplary when out, very diplomatic, never fights( unless at karate training ). No people who smack does it in lack of other more civilized ways to sort things out. And need to learn new techniques

 

[lynchette85]

Me 2! There isnt anything wrong with giving them a smack on the butt.......there is a HUGE difference between smacking & bashing......someone just isnt understanding that!! They are also not understanding that their stupid laws are to blame for these 14y.o criminals that we now have large numbers of!!

Agreed!

Its because for some parents there is no line between smacking and hitting, but for some parents its also acceptable to have a house full of people 24/7, get off your face and pass out on the floor and let the kids fend for themselves.

Some people though should be sterilised.

Also agreed!!

 

[disintegratus]

Some people though should be sterilised.

Most people should be sterilised, and have to be qualified before they can breed. Hell, you need a permit for reptiles/wildlife, yet any idiot can get knocked up . I deal with Office of Housing tenants as part of my job, and seriously, NONE OF THEM should be allowed to procreate.

Who would have thought that dealing with people in need would turn me into even more of a heartless ******?!?!

 

[waruikazi]

I am totally against any form of physical punishment. What do you rely teach your child when smacking them? You do as I say not as I to kinda thing does not work. All you teach them is that when you font get your way you hit them. I have never hit any of my kids, and all though they can be a handful at home, they are all exemplary when out, very diplomatic, never fights( unless at karate training ). No people who smack does it in lack of other more civilized ways to sort things out. And need to learn new techniques

What are some other more 'civilised' methods?

 

[vampstorso]

I don't understand saying smacking a child teaches them that violence is the answer. How does it?

It just might, if all you do is hit children, and don't form an understanding for them of the ethics behind why they received a punishment.
But then again, the majority of children I see now, don't have ethics or moral understanding anymore, and hey, apparently they're not hit either!

It's gotten to a world where it's surprising to see a polite child (or person, for that matter), it should be the other way around, and once, it was. You lived in fear of the consequences of your actions, (even in public as it would get back to your parents); not anymore.

 

[Nighthawk]

Every child is different. My daughter is an intelligent little girl; she responds to reason very well, and even contributes to a debate with rather astute answers for a 5 year old. Precocious is the word, I believe. But if she does something serious (hurts herself or others deliberately, puts herself or others in dangerous situations deliberately/repeatedly, breaks a law...) then she gets a smack either on the bum or (as with the theft before) on her hand. Then she knows I'm dead serious; even then I will usually tell her repeatedly that what she is doing is wrong and why before a smack. As I said before, she knew taking the pic 'n' mix was wrong, I had told her why repeatedly (she had tried it on several occasions in other stores), so she got taken to an attendant and a tap on the hand. She hasn't done it since. As far as she's concerned a lot of the time reason can be fought with reason, and she'll argue you in circles before you realise she's stalling time out or an apology. A quick tap has been the only definitive method in telling her that there is no argument, she has done wrong and needs to rectify the situation and deal with the consequences.
My son on the other hand doesn't respond well to either reason or a smack. He responds best to a firm routine, not a daily one but a simple situational one. He's stubborn and straightforward, and when he does warrant a smack on the bum he barely notices, so the best method with him is to keep your cool and give the right responses/offer the right questions or statements and (if he is holding something dangerous) by no means make a move to grab it unless you know you can get it off him quick. If you can't grab it it usually goes:
"Give it to me please..."
"No."
"Then I'll take it"
"No, I want to do it... watch"
"I'm watching"
"There you go Mum."
"Thank you. Good boy."
"You're welcome."
Two completely different children who respond well to two completely different methods, raised by the same parents. There are no blanket methods as every child is different; this is why I despise those 'how to raise your child' manuals and 'what your kid should be doing at this age' standards. We're not cloning ourselves here... we're raising individuals.

 

[K3nny]

As i was reading your first 2 paragraphs i was planning on asking you if you had an asian back ground. Asian parents sound scary as!

i was actually half expecting someone to mention that sooner or later, yes indeed i am.
and that's pretty common, tv was reserved for weekends, up till 4th primary Saturday was a school day, i had up to 5-6 extracurricular activities at one point in a week, which included arithmetic, piano, painting, mandarin (which i promptly quit, actually i regret that now), and two extra tutorials on top of the mandatory extracurricular activity enforced by the school.

and that's still rather lenient, i know of at least one kid in my school back in junior high who'd cry if she got anything short of a 95% on a test, apparently it was expected by her parents but i think she got off with a simple scolding, i find most parents refrain from physical punishments when it comes to girls (and by physical i mean caning n stuff)

 

[cement]

Maybe no-ones realized yet that the rules about smacking etc are bought about by bad parents. Good parents have good kids, bad parents have bad kids. Good parents have mastered at least a bit of self control and if not then at least the ability to be able to apologize for losing it and make things better. They will explain things to their kids and actually spend time with them monitoring their growth.
Bad parents will be self absorbed to the point (drugs , alchohol, work, whatever) where kids get no attention, and are often left to their own devices, abused for stepping out of line, and will grow up not trusting the parents.
There is heaps of good kids around and it usually comes from a stable home environment, and there is heaps of kids around that all they need is a bit of guidance from someone that they respect... doesn't have to be a parent.

 

[Defective]

mum walked into the bathroom at roxby once while we were staying with family and cracked the razor strap.....i think my skeleton detached itself from muscles and i **** meself!!!

 

[vampstorso]

Love that so many of us have been threatened/hit with the razor straps hahaha
I remember them...always hanging in Nanas hallway, just waiting for a misbehaving smart alec child!

 

[Jeffa]

Would love to see the Baby Boomers thought on this one. They have seen both ends of the cane (so to speak). Me being a 33 year old and encouraging a good old fashion flooging to a spoilt brat sounds like the goods (happened to me) I turned out fine (so I believe)

 

[Darlyn]

My Mum used to hit us in a seasonal method. Winter time = slipper, Summer = thong. Ouch!

 

[lynchette85]

Maybe no-ones realized yet that the rules about smacking etc are bought about by bad parents. Good parents have good kids, bad parents have bad kids. Good parents have mastered at least a bit of self control and if not then at least the ability to be able to apologize for losing it and make things better. They will explain things to their kids and actually spend time with them monitoring their growth.
Bad parents will be self absorbed to the point (drugs , alchohol, work, whatever) where kids get no attention, and are often left to their own devices, abused for stepping out of line, and will grow up not trusting the parents.
There is heaps of good kids around and it usually comes from a stable home environment, and there is heaps of kids around that all they need is a bit of guidance from someone that they respect... doesn't have to be a parent.

So true.. Sad thing is there are so many self absorbed parents these days, and it's ultimately the kids that pay.. Not only their kids, but also the children of "good" parents who are bullied or lead astray by kids who know no better, because their parents couldn't be bothered with them.. It's a domino effect, and so sad because it's so preventable.

Like so many have already said, there is a world of difference between the occasional smack, where justified, and senseless abuse. In my opinion if you can't differentiate between the two you have no right bringing a child into the world. If these people wouldnt have kids just to abuse and neglect them then not only would the kids be far better off, but all us decent parents wouldn't have silly anti smacking laws to worry about