APS Poetry Competition Thread

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If all the reptiles lived over the sea
what a good swimmer I would be.

I know I am not in contention but I would love you all if you gave me a calendar there is way to much talent for me to compete with.
 
I asked my wife for a snake
She said i better not for goodness sake
What she don't know, will never hurt
So down in the shed, lives my mate Kurt
He's black on the head
And he has a rock bed
But in the shed, he must stay
Until the wife takes a holiday
 
Head and tail, scales for sure
with inquisitive mind that yerns to explore.
A Preditory nature and detailed pattern on my back
but if you smell like mouse im going to attack.
if your here for a cuddle, your in the wrong place
you may want to try imported_varanus's lace
all in all at the end of the day
Im a python, with not much to say,
but please look, admire and appreciate for sure
but preserve my habitat for future generations to explore.

:D
 
My best mate has a horrible reputation as a gangsta rapper (white kiwi dunce:p) so I HAD to dig this up to share:

The names sneaky slither N i got something to say,
Pinkie mice, Fuzzy mice, they all taste the same.
Curled up in my Hide with a heat mat you’re too kind.
My owner knows his stuff, this gangstas reppin’ my kind.
I got a mate in a tank in the other room,
"OI Beardy D! you wanna say something soon?
I’m getting agitated and you’re making me cranky,
now go talk to Beardy before i get snappy.

Yo! Im Beardy D
My temprature is just right, one’o’five degress Fahrenheit.
Chillin under my light, Mmm makin my skin so bright.
bobbin my head up n down, my owner thinks I’m the ****e!
All my baby bearded dragons are stampin their feet,
runnin around like clowns, its like they been takin seeds.
you gotta watch these little ones, they like to go crazy.
runnin into the glass they still think its amazing.

Hey! over there! I’m a Gecko on the roof,
would you shut your trap before I jump. you sound like a goof!
im tryna catch myself a meal here,
a nice juicy fly and maybe steal a few of your sides,
your owner leaves the cricket box open..
they are there for the taking..
silly man was bragging about the money he was saving.
 
Deleted for being non reptile related !

yeah I had figured that, and was fine with it because I was just being funny, but then there have been a couple of other 'funny' and not serious replies been left up, so now my poem feels sad it was kicked out of the club :(
 
I asked my wife for a snake
She said i better not for goodness sake
What she don't know, will never hurt
So down in the shed, lives my mate Kurt
He's black on the head
And he has a rock bed
But in the shed, he must stay
Until the wife takes a holiday


Love it!!

You guys are all very creative!
 
There once was a coastal named Noodles
Of food, would eat oodles and oodles.
Chicks, rats and mice,
Are all rather nice,
But his favourite of course is small Poodles.
 
I thought it would be hard to score,
when 6 large snakes live on the floor.
Girls came in then ran for the door.
Then I met my wife who bought me more!
I think that's what I married her for.
 
Inspired by Rolf Harris :?....and my Darwin who was a cranky youngster


I'm Jake the snake deedle eedle eedle um
No rubber fake deedle eedle eedle um
Wherever I go in my nice home
My keeper always lets me know
There's Jake the snake deedle eedle eedle um
And he's no fake deedle eedle eedle um
From the day that I was hatched, oh boy, my breeder nearly gagged
He couldn't stopmy snappy mouth. a few times he was tagged
Cause I was born with attitude, and since that day begun
My loving keeper has had fun
I'm Jake the snake deedle eedle eedle um
I aint no fake deedle eedle eedle um
 
I love a Murray Darling
A python from Inland
That lives on rocky outcrops
Near the Murray river sand
I love their prehensile tail
for the ability to climb
One of natures finest
I'm proud to say is mine


(inspired by "I love a Sunburnt Country" - officially known as "My Country" by Dorothea Mackellar)
 
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i think this 1 ^^^^^^^^^ of Snapped is the best so far, good rhyme and verse, and if you use the lilt from "i love a sunburned country" it just flows like warm honey +++++++1 Snapped..................Ron
 
Ode to an Elapid...by Hoplophile


I love all of my Elapids, every single one,
Whether warming on the hot black tar, or basking in the sun,
Or cruising high amongst the branches feeding in the night,
But not when the little buggers decide they want to bite.

"Coz I really want my kidneys, and my neurons left intact,
And my erythrocytes all a-working and damn its just a fact,
That when you get too lazy and put you hand up way too close,
You find they've sunk their fangs in, and given you a dose.
 
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