boiling blood

[Chris1]

totally agree with the messy house messy mind comment, but its ur mums house,....

i hated that mine nagged about everything, room not tidy enough, shoes left not quite neatly enough at the foot of the stairs, (i took them off, what more did she want, lol,..) clean folded washing dumped on the floor instead of being put away, and worst of all when i left in the mornings she'd ask if i would be home for dinner and what i wanted,..

i envied kids with relaxed messy mums, i thought they were so luckyl,...


looking back, i was an idiot, i wonder if she'll still take me back, lol,..

geez, she cant be that bad, she lets you keep reptiles!!

also, if your mums picking fights with everyone she might be going thru 'the change',...approach with caution, lol,..!

 

[mumofsnakelover]

So here's my morning so far I say to my 8 year old son " can you clean your room it looks like a tip" the reply that followed from my 10 year son " we don't make the mess you do" now as he was saying this I was thinking what a rude p&$@k but I will excuse his rudeness as he is autistic and really has no idea, but revenge is sweet and I have just gone and gotten the biggest bin I could find and have proceeded to throw every bit of crap,clothes, toys and anything else on the floor into the bin..... All the while my son thinks this is funny until I took that bin outside and tipped it in the big bin, then he heard the Garbo coming down the road, he is now frantically retrieving his stuff before the Garbo takes it!!!! Revenge is sweet!!!!

 

[LizardLady]

^^^and a dish best served cold!

 

[dossy]

nah that would be too easy , wouldnt it be better to whine and biatch on a forum rather then doing something about it ?
btw , if u dont like pepoles comments then dont post it on a forum .

i didnt say i didnt like their comments just said if you dnt like vent threads then dont read it, kind of like dead reptiles and stuff.
also what am i ment to do about it, if anything gets moved we get yelled at and if we ask mum to move it she we get yelled at and the " im doing it " line gets thrown at us

im not the only 1 in the house who wants it cleand. dad my sister and i all want a cleaner house and we want to be able to sit down. at 1st i didnt mind the mess but nothing has happend to it for a long time. sis and i have spoken to dad and then dad talks to mum but it doesnt help, mum went out and sister and i started cleaning and thats when the trouble started. mum didnt like that we were cleaning her stuff so next time i was out was when she "cleaned " my room. my sister and i have already though about moving out a few times for a few difrent things and if if keeps up we probly will go.

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

i didnt say i didnt like their comments just said if you dnt like vent threads then dont read it, kind of like dead reptiles and stuff.
also what am i ment to do about it, if anything gets moved we get yelled at and if we ask mum to move it she we get yelled at and the " im doing it " line gets thrown at us

im not the only 1 in the house who wants it cleand. dad my sister and i all want a cleaner house and we want to be able to sit down. at 1st i didnt mind the mess but nothing has happend to it for a long time. sis and i have spoken to dad and then dad talks to mum but it doesnt help, mum went out and sister and i started cleaning and thats when the trouble started. mum didnt like that we were cleaning her stuff so next time i was out was when she "cleaned " my room. my sister and i have already though about moving out a few times for a few difrent things and if if keeps up we probly will go.

Dossy, at first i thought the post about hoarding was going over the top but after reading your reply i think Recharge could have a point. if your mum is possessive of her stuff, and it really is rubbish, not just rubbish in your eyes, she may have an issue. But then again maybe she is just feeling like things are getting on top of her atm. there is so many things that could be going on, but dont forget she's your mummy. the woman that gave you life, and loves you unconditionally.

 

[dossy]

oh also to the "your mum does evrything for you" comments, i lernt to cook at the age of 12 because mum was at uni and dad was at work and sis was out alot, now dad and i do the cooking between us, the other cleaning like dishes washing ect ect is split between my sister my dad and i. so that leaves mum with her mess she has been cleaning for 3 months and it still doesn get done.

to the is mums house her rules comments, its dads house and he wants it cleaner then what it is.

the laid back coments, yes my dad is very easy going aswell. and if dad asks me to do something ( lawns, mop sweep ect) then i would do it.

to the "looking for sympathy" comment, no not really i kind of figrd i would be flamed by some and under stood by some but life goes on

the"i bet you would notice her gone" comment, mum went over seas last year for 2 months. evrything in the hosue was tidy and things got done. when she got back it disrupted the way we worked and there was so much more mess. if i had a plate or cup in the top room i would take it down same with dad and sis. when mum got home she would have like 4 or 5 cups and a bunch of plates in the top room then another plate or two in the study and she would just leave it. it got to a point were she ate of papper plates because all the other plates were dirty ( dad was over seas i was at a mates on holidays and sis had work)

its not all rubbish there is alot of uni papers and stuff and i understand that, i was a student and i had a lot of papers so uni isnt going to be any less but along with the uni stuff and important papers there are alot of things mums printed off like crostich patterns and knitting paterns and just pictures of things in genral. our printed needed 3 refills in a 31 day period because mum printed so much junk off.

my sister and i think that mum has alot of issues but we do not know how to tell dad about them and we are telling him slowly so that he dosnt break down into a heap of rust and dust.

i suppose the good bit about the mess is i could get more reptiles and she probly wouldnt notice them for a while

i know a house will never be 100% clean but at least have it clean enough to function as a house

and btw i fell down the stairs again because the plastic sleves that i moved a few days ago have found their way back there againg

 

[CrystalMoon]

There are so many goods bits of advice and opinions posted in this thread....
I apreciate that this is your vent, and understand that it must be completely frustrating for you
I am concerned mostly for your Mother, this sounds to me like there are many underlying issues your Mum
seems to be going through? none of which we know/or need to know I feel as a family you all need
to encourage her to get some professional help(what ever level she needs)perhaps she needs a lot of understanding
at this point. It is sometimes easiest to deliver blame and accusations rather than nut out the problems.
Once she is understood and helped you will no doubt all benefit....
I hope you all find some answers and solutions to this problem
Kind regards
Crystal

 

[Wallypod]

I understand your frustration. My mother INSISTS that I HAVE to do all my cleaning around the house before I'm allowed to go out on weekends. Keep in mind I'm 20 and paying $120 a week board to boot. and god forbid you should try and tidy anything she's left lying around.

wish i could live at home an pay $120 a week. Way I see it is their roof their rules. Not trying to be harsh just real, I moved out because I wanted to run my house the way I wanted to. Now for that pleasure I pay through the nose for rent, power, food and all those wonderful things you get for $120 a week. Again not having a go, just something to think about.

 

[dossy]

someone on here must have had a talk with the mother...i walked out of my room and BAM the hallway is cleared, well almost cleard but i can see the floor and things are actuly getting moved

OVER JOYED RIGHT ABOUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
its about bloody time aswell

 

[slim6y]

Hands up the obsessive compulsives!

Messy house messy mind? Couldn't disagree more....

Einstein... Devid Bellamy... A kid I taught in school last year.... All messy people with BRILLIANT minds....

There's countless more where that came from - even Lord Rutherford of Nelson... Amazing genius - but the tiding ability of Cyclone Yasi in Tully!

Dossy - you sound just like my mother when I was 13!!!

As for constructive criticism... I can give no more than what everyone else has said....

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

Hands up the obsessive compulsives!

Messy house messy mind? Couldn't disagree more....

Einstein... Devid Bellamy... A kid I taught in school last year.... All messy people with BRILLIANT minds....

There's countless more where that came from - even Lord Rutherford of Nelson... Amazing genius - but the tiding ability of Cyclone Yasi in Tully!

Dossy - you sound just like my mother when I was 13!!!

As for constructive criticism... I can give no more than what everyone else has said....

Theres hope for me yet!! i am going to tell people from now on that i am brilliant and thats why my house is a mess! Thanks slim6y.

 

[slim6y]

Theres hope for me yet!! i am going to tell people from now on that i am brilliant and thats why my house is a mess! Thanks slim6y.

Unfortunately, although a fine line, there is a difference between slovenly and brilliance....

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

damn....

 

[captive_fairy]

I only have a 3 year old and a 1 and a half year old, but I know what I was like as a teen and in the last 3 years I have found a whole new respect for my mum. And you really can't appreciate it until your a parent yourself. (and mine aren't even teens yet).
My lounge room is covered in toys, But the kids have fun. And I'm teaching when it's time to clean up, if I have to do it, it gets chucked out.
I moved about 4 months ago, and still can't get the car in the garage and crap all over the house. I am getting to it, very slowly, but lifes to short to spend all your time cleaning.
I knew a lady who was soooo anal about having a clean house, and then she fell pregnant. The kid had a corner in the house with a mat and about 5 toys. We were told at partys to give money only cause they didn't want clutter. In my opinion, that's no way live.

Now on the other hand, My dad is a hoarder. He has a 4 car garage that, When i moved out, had the smallest walkway, but you could get to the back (just). It has a very high roof and the back quarter has a second level. The WHOLE garage is FULL. Wall to wall, floor to ceiling. Somehow my mum has managed to keep MOST of the crap in the garage. My brother, sister and I realise that we will be the ones cleaning it up (unless mum significantly outlives dad) but, it's his escape, and he clearly needs it.
If it really is that big a problem, maybe she needs something like dad's garage, I know that a garage may not be an option obviously, just an idea that you may be able to modify.

And as has been said, It's your parents house. If you don't like it move out.

 

[dossy]

I only have a 3 year old and a 1 and a half year old, but I know what I was like as a teen and in the last 3 years I have found a whole new respect for my mum. And you really can't appreciate it until your a parent yourself. (and mine aren't even teens yet).
My lounge room is covered in toys, But the kids have fun. And I'm teaching when it's time to clean up, if I have to do it, it gets chucked out.
I moved about 4 months ago, and still can't get the car in the garage and crap all over the house. I am getting to it, very slowly, but lifes to short to spend all your time cleaning.
I knew a lady who was soooo anal about having a clean house, and then she fell pregnant. The kid had a corner in the house with a mat and about 5 toys. We were told at partys to give money only cause they didn't want clutter. In my opinion, that's no way live.

Now on the other hand, My dad is a hoarder. He has a 4 car garage that, When i moved out, had the smallest walkway, but you could get to the back (just). It has a very high roof and the back quarter has a second level. The WHOLE garage is FULL. Wall to wall, floor to ceiling. Somehow my mum has managed to keep MOST of the crap in the garage. My brother, sister and I realise that we will be the ones cleaning it up (unless mum significantly outlives dad) but, it's his escape, and he clearly needs it.
If it really is that big a problem, maybe she needs something like dad's garage, I know that a garage may not be an option obviously, just an idea that you may be able to modify.

And as has been said, It's your parents house. If you don't like it move out.

yes it my perants house...but dad is my perant aswell and he wants it clean. we cant give mum a room or anything because she has taken over the entire house. we gave her the study for all her stuff but it ended up coming out.

its not the mess in the study or her room i cared about its the mess in the "common" areas were we watch tv or hve family friends over and stuff that gets to dad my sister and i. but as i said before its geting cleaned today.....still not allowed to touch anything but at least she cleaning it up now

 

[Australis]

Download hoarders tv series

 

[Sezzzzzzzzz]

Dossy, after reading all of this I just wanna give you a hug. It sounds like this has been an ongoing issue and goes beyond a few magazines lying around. I dont know how to say this any other way but bluntly, cos no matter how I say it i may offend you, but I really think your mum needs to talk to someone. I can see how frustrating this must be for you, as no-one wants there friends to come over and see piles of stuff everywhere. I think its very positive that your mum is cleaning it today.

I once new these 2 brothers and youd go to their house and deadset there were boxes of **** piled to roof and with one small viewing area for the tv in the lounge, one of the brothers bedrooms was stacked to the ceiling and covered his bed (he slept on the lounge) but goddamn you could ask for a paper clip and they could tell you exactly what box it was in even if it was 5 boxes deep. I hated going their it made me feel claustrophobic.

 

[captive_fairy]

yes it my perants house...but dad is my perant aswell and he wants it clean. we cant give mum a room or anything because she has taken over the entire house. we gave her the study for all her stuff but it ended up coming out.

its not the mess in the study or her room i cared about its the mess in the "common" areas were we watch tv or hve family friends over and stuff that gets to dad my sister and i. but as i said before its geting cleaned today.....still not allowed to touch anything but at least she cleaning it up now

If your dad doesn't like it, then it's up to him to bring it up with your mum. Maybe all of you can approach her together, but chances are you won't get anywhere by yourself, cause it's not YOUR house.
My parents house didn't originally have a garage and thats how it started at my place, their bedroom first, then the loungeroom, kitchen etc. So they built the garage.
As I said, I know it's probably not an option, but just an idea.
I missed the one about it getting cleaned, but good to hear.

 

[KaotikJezta]

All the comments about it's her house get over it or move out, should have read Dossys post properly. I feel your pain, my mother is not only incredibly messy and doesn't clean but she is a hypochondriac and a compulsive liar. The compulsive liar thing really got me in trouble as I would complain to my friends and she'd tell lies and say how sick she was and act like the coolest mother in the world then all my friends would think I was rotten to her. She couldn't be helped as she never and still doesn't admit she has a problem. She ended up moving back to Wales as she had stuffed everything up with everyone here and found out she had a rich cousin ;back home' and I have to say my life has been so much less stressful since she went. Just because someone is a parent does not automatically mean that they are in the right and their kids are being selfish. Having said that, I fall into the messy genius group and I feel for my kids as I am the first to admit I am domestically challenged unless it comes to something like reptile enclosures, but I also don't expect them to do everything I should be doing either. So the house gets a bit messy and I suck it up and clean it, it is my problem not my kids.

 

[captive_fairy]

I'm genuinly not having a go just stating experience, and everyone is different, so it may or may not be helpful.
I don't expect my kids to do everything I should be doing either, but if it's their mess, they clean it (they are only pre-schoolers, but that's the way it will be when their older), or I chuck it. If it's my mess, I'll get to it (probably after the other 50,000 things I have to do)
If there is an underlying problem, then the situation is different.
If it's just mess, then I think the comments of it's her house do apply.
As i said, if the dad has a problem with it, then it's up to him to work it out, or do it as a family.
Another thing to think about, I've had friends forced to live on the streets when they were teens. When I went to visit them, there were piles of (genuine) rubbish, piss etc. At least you have a roof over your head.
Ultimately it's a personal situation that noone on a forum will be able to understand fully without both sides of the story.