Dad Jokes

[emmalene_bunny]

Ok, so I had dinner at my dads house last night, I started to explain to him how excited I was about going to the VHS Expo next month, I think he purposely misheard me saying that it was the Victorian Herp Society Expo, I thought it was ok me just shortening it to herp, but instead he heard Hemp..
The next 10 minutes came out with all of these ridiculousness sayings of, "Why would you go an expo just to smoke snakes?" "Do you put the snakes in your pipe and smoke it?" "Do you think you can get flavored papers that go nice with them?" "Is that why some snake enclosures have those fake plant things that look like hemp plants?" and it really went on..
I think it's safe to say that I will not be bring my dad to any events to ensure that no snake (or other reptile) is "smoked" :shock:

 

[sharky]

wow, there is no other word besides awkward :lol:

 

[Rob]

Bumpitty Bump Bump

 

[emmalene_bunny]

So glad you bumped this!!

Here you all go

View attachment 282702

 

[Stuart]

 

[christopherR]

lol

 

[=bECS=]

What kind of bees make milk? Boobees
What kind of pools are small? Nippools
What kind of cheese is not your cheese? Nacho cheese

 

[emmalene_bunny]

So I just finished having dinner with my dad.
PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS JUST A JOKE, don't read if you take things too seriously!

What's the hardest thing about cooking vegetables?
Getting the wheelchair in the pot!
:lol:

 

[borntobnude]

I started reading this thread thinking it was some great new joke , But it all seems perfectly normal to me the more I read ( Is this because I am one - these are MY jokes _sight gags -observations )
My local paper today had a humourus article on Gen Y but i dont think you want to read it as all it says is that their selfish ,demanding ,lazy and lack humour and the ability to recognise



SARCASIM:lol:


Having read this thread and gone away come back and thought about it , it really should not matter if your dad tells good jokes or bad .My father passed away 5 yrs ago, he died with an OAM for services to the comunity through Lions ,Surf Life Saving and a few other oganisations all of which he was President , he worked hard and provided for his family with money but his time was always given to others . I dont mean to take the humour away from this thread but you all should be greatful for Good , Bad and Average dad jokes and be happy your dad made jokes with you at all . I have learnt that my dad did have a sense of humour -------------but not around his family

 

[jacorin]

hell,i dont get past the first 4 numbers

 

[sharky]

lol

:lol:

I was expecting it to say "Adopted" :lol:

 

[Mitella]

what did the mother dinosaur say when she sat on a cactus?

mudergottasauras:shock:

 

[Rob]

 

[Stuart]

 

[Bluetongue1]

Why do elephants have red eyes? So they can hide in strawberry patches. Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in a strawberry patch? No. See, it works!

What is the black stuff between elephants' toes? Slow running natives.

What's green and hangs from trees. Elephant snot.

What is the difference between an elephant and a mail box? You don't know. I wouldn't send you to post a letter then.

Definition of optimistic: An ant climbing an elephant’s leg with a piece of confetti to wipe its bottom.

 

[Bluetongue1]

Tarzans last know words: “Who put grease on the vine?”

Why don’t ants have balls? …because they can’t dance!

 

[Stuart]

How do you get Pikachu onto a bus?

Poke em on

 

[Umbral]

What's the similarity between a monkey and a piano?


They both climb trees except the piano.

 

[borntobnude]

Why are Elephants big grey and wrinkled?




Because, if they small white and smooth they would be a panadol.

 

[andynic07]

First thing this morning there was a tap on my door. My plumber has a funny sense of humour.

what did the farmer say to the cow on his roof. GET OFF!!