Having/Not having Kids

[ShaneBlack]

My advice is dont have kids....Theres enough people in the world already. All they do is tie you down.....dont do it and spend the rest of your life travelling and being free. You only live once.

 

[Rainbow-Serpent]

Whilst I personally think it's different for everybody,

I have an Aunty who didn't ever have kids and I recently asked her the same question (out of curiosity), and she said that she regrets it deeply. And then I asked her brother, my uncle, who never had kids if he regretted it and he said, and I quote, "HELL to the no!!".
So I'm guessing that it's different for everybody, I have no personal experience with this matter (still in high school and don't plan on having children till I've finished university),
but my guess is that everybody is different and everybody wants different things.
Good Luck with whatever you decide to do!

 

[mark83]

just got a big hug from my nearly 3 year old daughter. worth every cent and second. she can turn the worst day into the best day. the wife on the other hand.....

 

[Jumala]

I was married never had kids (which was a good thing considering how things have worked out ) I never really had the desire to have them. Have lots of friends who have kids and I can always borrow them and hand them back realising why I never had them. Yes call me selfish but I want to be able to do my own thing whenever I want. It is much easier to get animals looked after for 6 weeks while you are away then work out what to do with a child lol.

But seriously - having children is a personal decision and one that is a lifetime commitment. It is not something that anyone should take lightly and the child should be wanted.

JMO

 

[reptilian1924]

l myself have never ever had any children of my own and most likely wont, the reason why is because its a lifetime commitment and l just don't feel l have what it take to be a father, unless you have access to a good home and plenty of money to help raise them to adult hood, why would you want to start a family just because your friends all have.

lts not for everyone from the way l see things here and l enjoy having my pets with me instead of children, that l have to buy toys-clothes-education-entertainment for, least with pets you only have to provide a good healthy home and food to them, aswell as the on occasion in vet cost.

l think there is to many humans on this planet we all share so why would we want to add more to the planet, espacially when alot of us are now struggling with food-utility-housing-health-education cost, and there is just not enough jobs around to employe us all full-time until where ready to retire from work.

 

[Indysmum]

Sometimes feelings do change as we get older, so depending your age(you said 'young') I just wouldnt make any perminant decision (nothing medical I mean).
If you are 100% certain, I suggest it be you rather than your lady to have op. Its far less intrucive. No rush for this either, plenty of contaceptions available
Personally I had no interest in kids, not even much when friends started having babies...but then something 'clicked'. And call it hormones or whatever..but it is different when they are your own kids. If the desire isnt there however, dont let anyone convince you. It would be far worse having a child and regretting it than never having any. Heaps more money spend on yourself thats for sure lol

 

[Naga_Kanya]

I've never wanted kids. I'm warming to the idea of spending time with friends' kids now they're starting to have them, and a fair bit of both of my jobs involves interacting with kids, but I still don't want any of my own. I think I'd make an awesome dad, but honestly I've also never dated a guy that wouldn't take a traditional gender role leaving me as "mum" if we had children, my otherwise-awesome current partner included, and I know flat-out I just wouldn't cope with that. That said, you can absolutely still have a life with kids; I grew up in 7 different countries because of Dad's job, and loved it - got carted up the Himalayas whilst still in single digits, rode elephants, played with snakes, all because my parents didn't see why a child should restrict them from having adventures. They were both highly educated and also passed the love of learning on to me early. Not all parenting has to be like it is in the 'burbs. As for the dreadies and piercings; I'm alternative, as are most of my friends, many of them parents. They've never had any problems with being alternative folks (mind you, most of us live in the bohemian bits of Melbourne, so we're not exactly considered "weird") with kids. I find kids adore me because I look exotic ("Your hair is RED!!! Are you a fairy?") - generally if anything it's the more sheltered suburban/country folk that even notice my appearance, and make an issue of it ("You don't LOOK like a ship's rigger..."). Every parent I know says your own kids are completely different from anyone else's, and I can see that, but I just don't want to be a Mum. All my maternal feelings get channeled into my animals; I guess I'm a bit of a cliche like that. But I am looking forward to helping my friends with their kids, building cool things for them to play with, and making adventures for them. I'm also looking forward to being able to give them back at the end of it. Nothing at all wrong with not wanting kids, or wanting kids, so long as whatever you do, you're doing what feels right. Good luck with whatever you decide; it sounds like a very difficult place to be in, and you've put your thoughts on the subject beautifully.

 

[Tristan]

personally i don't really care about babies but toddlers are cool like walking talking puppies.

I'm single at the moment (sad face) but im 50/50 on kids topic i can see me living a happy life with and with out them, and i can see the different life styles in each outcome, ultimately for me the decision will come to who/if i end up with the right person and what we as a couple want and if we decide to have them if i feel we are in a stable enough relationship and financially stable position to support the kids the way i believe they should be supported.

so as much as you can take advice from one person or another on the topic i truly believe you know whats best in your heart and what you really want, this may indeed change as you age or who you meet as well besides you can always try be for you buy (adopt )

 

[mad_at_arms]

I don't have kids of my own however I currently have 2 nephews living with me. Previously I had my eldest niece live with me when she was 18 (I am 5 years her senior). Right now the eldest nephew is turning 22 (from my closest(in age) sister) and the other is turning 21 this year (from my eldest brother.) I have had the eldest one with me for 5 years now (did 6-7mths over W.A before failing and returning).
The newest addition has been kicked outta of home then my eldest sisters place after 3mths and now on to me. For every sibling that has offspring I have had (or still somewhat have) hand in shaping the kind of person they are.

ITS A WHOLE LOT OF GODDAMN WORK!!
Heaven forbid I have my own.

 

[Daniel_Penrith]

I never wanted kids.... Then my mrs fell pregnant, so i said to hell with it why not, then the ultra sounds, i was keen on a boy, then found out it was a girl. Then the baby is born, then comes the late night trips to the hospital as a paranoid pair of first time parents, changing dirty nappies stayin in while my mates hit the nightclubs and drink themselves blind drunk. Now my daughter is 2 and she gets into everything, tells me no when she doesnt like me doing something but i wouldnt change it for the world and i want another 1 and a girl at that!!
Its a personal choice i guess, i got a mate who is 30 who lives with a couple of mates. He never wants a relationship and never wants kids. Each to their own.

 

[Banjo]

I would never want to know what my life would be without my two boys and my wife. Yes they bring heart ache at times but the good times certainly out weigh the bad, this is what being a family is about, sharing the good times and the bad times, makes the family ties grow stronger.
But it isn't for everyone so take your time too make your decision.
It is very sad fact that there are a lot of kids that are not wanted in this world.

 

[saximus]

It's interesting you guys revived this thread. Since I started it a lot happened on that front and we only recently came to a bit of a decision. Not sure if it's prudent to describe my entire personal life on here but basically it involved a few very difficult weeks trying to come up with a decision, one of the hardest weeks of my life and one very incredible girl who destroyed almost all of my fears in one conversation. For now, the future and direction of my life certainly seems much happier than I feared and will likely contain at least one child.
Thanks again for all your input guys and girls. You definitely all helped

 

[pythrulz]

Chirldren are all bueatiful a real blessing worth more than all the gold in the world obvisly both partners have to agree they can be naughty but most of the time lots of fun

 

[Renenet]

one very incredible girl who destroyed almost all of my fears in one conversation. For now, the future and direction of my life certainly seems much happier than I feared and will likely contain at least one child.

Is this girl your partner, Saximus? If so, you're very lucky and it sounds like whatever you do, you should hang on to her.

We get into quandaries like this sometimes. It's great that you've found the right path out of this one.

 

[saximus]

Is this girl your partner, Saximus? If so, you're very lucky and it sounds like whatever you do, you should hang on to her.

We get into quandaries like this sometimes. It's great that you've found the right path out of this one.

Yeah she is . Thanks. I guess it just proves yet again that you can't assume anything and talking about things generally works out much better than you expected

 

[fugawi]

As long as you and your partner are on the same page, whatever you both do TOGETHER, will be the right thing.

 

[texrex]

I have seen you with your kids Mr Black!! You love them immensly and are an amazing dad, i know you wouldn't trade them for all the money in the world. We may not often plan to have them, but i know personally, you could never live without yours!!!!!!!!

 

[Em1986]

I just saw this thread pop up again and wanted to say that i am glad you have come to a decision that both of you are happy with.
RRight now i am dealing with a terrible 2's child and it isn't much fun but i still wouldn't change it for the world! I have learnt so much more since having my daughter and it puts your life into perspective and makes you realise what is truely important in life
When i found out i was pregnant the shop i was working in was about to close down (i was going to quit anyway) so i guess it came at the right time. I now have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and even though things get tough, she is always there with a cuddle and a kiss and the funny things she says and does could turn the worst day of my life into one that is much brighter.