Having/Not having Kids

[saximus]

So Megzz, same question - is that good or bad...or neither?

 

[Megzz]

So Megzz, same question - is that good or bad...or neither?

I wouldn't say its good or bad... its just scary sometimes. I hate the thought of getting older, and watching a little kid growing so fast right before your eyes is a real reminder that time is going by.

 

[cris]

Watch a movie called Idiocracy, its is the result of smart people thinking about having children :lol: It is also based on a principal that is actually true, stupid and uneducated people typically breed the most.

Another thing to consider is that you will most likely change biologically if you become a father and it will blind you to the fact that kids are pests :lol:

 

[waruikazi]

I'm getting really clucky reading this thread... scary.

 

[Megzz]

Another thing to consider is that you will most likely change biologically if you become a father and it will blind you to the fact that kids are pests :lol:

No no, not always the case. I am completely aware that my daughter is a pain in the bum. I dont much care for other children either

 

[saximus]

Yeah Cris I've seen it and my girlfriend likes to bring that up a lot. I suppose taking a walk through Riverlink in Ippy is as good an example as you'll get of that in practice.
A lot of people have said the whole world changes the second you see and hold your own kid for the first time. I guess the trouble is whether I want to get to that point in the first place...

 

[KaotikJezta]

Watch a movie called Idiocracy, its is the result of smart people thinking about having children :lol: It is also based on a principal that is actually true, stupid and uneducated people typically breed the most.

Another thing to consider is that you will most likely change biologically if you become a father and it will blind you to the fact that kids are pests :lol:

That's funny, my parents aren't stupid but are uneducated due to family commitments, ie: my fathers dad died after the war so he had to leave school and look after the family. I am an only child. I have landed in relationships with people from very educated, well off backgrounds and all of them had 4+ siblings. When I was studying all the private school kids were from big families,so that theory doesn't really work from what I can see. They may start breeding later but once they start they don't stop. As I said before being poor and uneducated doesn't instantly mean stupid either. I have two children, 10 years apart and I guess I was never hugely maternal and I am pretty selfish in a lots of ways but I don't regret either of my children, I did however enjoy them a lot more once I could have an intelligent conversation with them. I loved them when they were little but I didn't really appreciate them until their brains started to develop. My kids both call me by my name not mum and we are friends as much as mother/son and I couldn't imagine life without them now.

 

[Minka]

For me i had always been on the "I'm never having kids" side. I could never stand other people's children. School holidays make me want to shoot myself in the head (and they still do). By nature i am not a maternal person and having children seemed an impossible task to me. Everyone at some point has been stuck on a plane/bus/train with a screaming child - that to me is one of the most testing moments you have to endure in your life!

But then i had my son. And my out look changed somewhat... I still can't stand other people's children, School holidays and being stuck on a plane with a screaming child (even my own!) but i love my son more than anything on this planet and would lay in front of a train for him. In the beginning it was really hard, adjusting to the complete 360 degree life style change and having another life completely and utterly dependent on you for everything is very trying at times. But when he smiles i forget it all. He brings a joy to my life that no negative can outweigh. I do miss my freedom and the ability to do whatever i like when i like but i wouldn't change having him for anything. And i look forward to the fact it apparently gets easier the older they get...until they hit the teenage years that is

I should also mention i have not changed much about my lifestyle to accommodate my son - i still keep Elapids, my Dog's still have free range of the house as do the Cat's. They are just not obviously allowed into his bedroom.
Each to their own though Saximus. Your choices may change just as your circumstances might but you usually know what's right for you deep down in the dead of night. I wish you well in this thing we call Life

 

[sacred_DUC]

i don't want kids too much hassles nowadays and cost of living don't get me started.
i like my disposable children er nephews and neice so much better once they start getting grumpy just handball then back.

 

[waruikazi]

i don't want kids too much hassles nowadays and cost of living don't get me started.
i like my disposable children er nephews and neice so much better once they start getting grumpy just handball then back.

At 80 i wouldn't think you'd have too many swimmers left anyway. :lol:

 

[cris]

That's funny, my parents aren't stupid but are uneducated due to family commitments, ie: my fathers dad died after the war so he had to leave school and look after the family. I am an only child. I have landed in relationships with people from very educated, well off backgrounds and all of them had 4+ siblings. When I was studying all the private school kids were from big families,so that theory doesn't really work from what I can see. They may start breeding later but once they start they don't stop. As I said before being poor and uneducated doesn't instantly mean stupid either. I have two children, 10 years apart and I guess I was never hugely maternal and I am pretty selfish in a lots of ways but I don't regret either of my children, I did however enjoy them a lot more once I could have an intelligent conversation with them. I loved them when they were little but I didn't really appreciate them until their brains started to develop. My kids both call me by my name not mum and we are friends as much as mother/son and I couldn't imagine life without them now.

Fair point when i said poor and uneducated i meant for that to possibly mean 2 differant categories and i never said intellegent educated people cant have lots of kids, its just just not as common as the other stupid and/or uneducated categories. Kids are like adults its not all of them i find stupid and annoying :lol:

 

[cleobhp]

No kids for me can't stand them, ppl tell me once you reach a certain age and the biological clock starts ticking things will change well, nothing did, would rather breed animals then breed myself. Costs too much to bring a child into the world and would much rather spend that money on my animals.

 

[eitak]

Wow what a terrible outlook eitak. Each and every one of those points is vilid and true but for each bad point there would be 100 good points. That outlook is not the cup is half empty but the cup is completely empty, broken and will never hold anything again.

Haha don't get me wrong for some unexplained reason I still have the urge to have kids, but when I really think about it these are the main arguments against and I find them rather convincing

 

[fugawi]

I believe that if the relationship between partners is strong, you can see yourself still with her when you are 80 and you are financially stable, then all the other reasons don't enter in to it. So wait for the mating season, put the male in with the female, after successful mating let the egg incubate for around 9 mths and finally spit out a new Saximus hatchie. Then strap yourself in and enjoy the ride......daddy.:lol:

 

[Defective]

well i can't have kids because being an epileptic. if i go off the meds i could have a massive seizure, i get preggers on them i risk passing epilepsy onto my child and birth deformities from the meds. it's not a choice i made but when i found out my type of epilepsy is genetic it made it set i was never going to breed.
i love buying baby stuff for others and if my sister has kids i can expand my herp collection buy purchasing snakes and lizards/monitors for them and if they wanna feed them or anything, auntie Rhi will be around.

I treat yoda as my child, he brings comfort,love and pure happiness to my life and in return hes well looked after and i have a 'brag book' so yeah.

yeah i'll be the strange auntie but my neices and nephews will have a ball

For me i had always been on the "I'm never having kids" side. I could never stand other people's children. School holidays make me want to shoot myself in the head (and they still do). By nature i am not a maternal person and having children seemed an impossible task to me. Everyone at some point has been stuck on a plane/bus/train with a screaming child - that to me is one of the most testing moments you have to endure in your life!

But then i had my son. And my out look changed somewhat... I still can't stand other people's children, School holidays and being stuck on a plane with a screaming child (even my own!) but i love my son more than anything on this planet and would lay in front of a train for him. In the beginning it was really hard, adjusting to the complete 360 degree life style change and having another life completely and utterly dependent on you for everything is very trying at times. But when he smiles i forget it all. He brings a joy to my life that no negative can outweigh. I do miss my freedom and the ability to do whatever i like when i like but i wouldn't change having him for anything. And i look forward to the fact it apparently gets easier the older they get...until they hit the teenage years that is

I should also mention i have not changed much about my lifestyle to accommodate my son - i still keep Elapids, my Dog's still have free range of the house as do the Cat's. They are just not obviously allowed into his bedroom.
Each to their own though Saximus. Your choices may change just as your circumstances might but you usually know what's right for you deep down in the dead of night. I wish you well in this thing we call Life

i live next door to a childcare centre!

 

[Hetty]

I imagine it's quite tough when you have been with someone so long, it's one of the few 'deal-breaker' things. A wise friend of mine said to discuss these things before the relationship gets serious. At the time I thought it was madness and would scare any man away, I now don't think this is the case at all. It's not like saying "Do you want to have kids, now?", most people know if they want them in the future or not.

I want kids eventually, so I wouldn't go out with anyone who didn't want them. Just setting up for heartbreak. And yeah, some people change their minds, but it's a pretty big risk.

Anyway, Saximus, good luck making your decision. Just don't take forever then choose no if your girlfriend really wants kids, because it isn't fair to her.

 

[saximus]

Anyway, Saximus, good luck making your decision. Just don't take forever then choose no if your girlfriend really wants kids, because it isn't fair to her.

This is exactly what I'm afraid of. Some people may say six years is already too long to have taken but I guess I didn't know "for sure" until more recently
I said this before but there have been a few more contributors since so I'll say again thanks so much to everyone who has taken the time to give thoughtful responses. When I started this I only expected a few responses from the childless ones but I've received so much more info.

 

[fugawi]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the idea that your partner is interested in kids. It also seems that you are on the fence and have been for 6 yrs and are trying to find a good argument to delay or say outright "no kids". Take my advice and answer these three questions.......Is your relationship with your partner 100% stable for now and into the foreseeable future? Are your finances stable? Have you got a roof over your head? If you answered yes to all three then your life is just fine to have or not have kids. Now sit back and ignore all these posts because you are different to all these people and do what is in your heart.

 

[CrystalMoon]

I feel the biggest mistake you could make is being undecided and going through with becoming a parent to please/keep your partner. It is definately a personal choice, and probably the most unselfish decision you could make is one where if in doubt you decide to refrain from becoming a parent. There are way too many children in the world that have part time parents, neglectful or Zoned out parents. I live, sleep, breath for my Daughter and for me I could never imagine life without being a parent it has been a gift I treasure. However I truly admire those who opt for "out of the box" thinking and go with what is right for them not neccessarily society and it's (sometimes)antiquated views.

 

[Defective]

if anything i would adopt if i decided to have kids