I've had a bit of a rocky start to my working life. I left school with no idea what I wanted to do so, not wanting to bludge off Dad, I tried to get a job in anything. I ended up working in a bookshop because of my ability to remember book titles and authors, even if I'd never read them. No matter how much I love books, retail was totally the wrong job for me. The constant demands of customers were like baby birds screaming, "I want, I want, I want, I want," and a hell of a lot less cute. The consumerism made me want to throw up. Plus my health was deteriorating. I felt exhausted all the time and spent every weekend recovering but never catching up. I was on a downward spiral.
After two years of that full time, I finally got to uni with idealistic visions of doing a media degree so I could make films. I didn't get into the course I wanted and had to take my second preference instead, which was much less practical and bored me to tears. I didn't care about cultural studies or postmodernism and really should have transferred into something more appropriate, but I felt like that would be giving up. (Not true - if you discover you're in the wrong course, change now. Please.) So I stupidly stuck it out. (And I continued to work at the bookshop on weekends.)
So I ended up with a BMedia and still no clue. Again I searched for anything I could find. This time I ended up typing legal transcripts. It was supposed to be a stop-gap job and became anything but. (Let's just say when I finally resigned I got a long service leave payout.) It took only a few months for the novelty to wear off and then a few short weeks for it to become excruciatingly dull. At the same time we were transferring to digital sound, which was awful compared with the old-fashioned audiotapes, so I'd often end up near tears because I couldn't understand what people were saying. Quite a failing in an audio typist. Then, on top of that, I got RSI from the typing.
Determined to keep working, I took no time off work and pounced upon the company's offer of a new position - proofreading transcripts, something I'd wanted to try anyway. I'm naturally good at spotting mistakes in the English language and I thought it might lead into an editing career. At the same time I went through occupational therapy for about nine months to get my hands and arms back to some kind of normality. I went from having no idea what I wanted to do to having no idea what kind of jobs I could cope with. For some years I felt too scared to leave a position I knew I could handle, even if I hated it.
In the meantime I tried more studies, first a Graduate Diploma in Education, which I didn't finish, and then a Graduate Certificate in Editing and Publishing, which I did. Then I had a couple more health problems - some related to how much I hated my job, some not. I did start looking for work, on and off, without success. Then something happened that changed my entire life. Without revealing what it was, because I don't feel comfortable laying it out for the whole world, I discovered my self-worth and a fragile yet strengthening sense of confidence.
Two weeks ago I took a risk and quit my job, moving to Cairns to do a Bachelor of Science at JCU. I intend to major in zoology once I've passed my bridging courses. I live right by the rainforest - where I've always wanted to live - and I'm happy here. I have no job yet, but the possibilities seem endless. I have my proofreading skills and I want to hone my photography skills. I love animals and can see myself educating people about them - once I get over my fear of public speaking. I write fiction in my head all the time and want to try to publish some of that. Once I've got a bit of scientific knowledge under my belt, I could try my hand at science journalism. I now feel like I'm on the right track.
Speaking of writing, this post looks like I've just attempted to write my autobiography (although I've left quite a few juicy bits out). If you got to the end, thanks for reading.
Here's to following your dreams.
