Dad Jokes

[junglemac]

Again, that is your personal opinion, and if you read back to my original comments, I said each to their own in the first place, there is no point continuing a conversation when I was in agreeance with many points that she made and was simply trying to get the post back on track.

Lol, you have to take the last word don't you. I think Emily has plenty valid points, and the one repeating herself is you. Take a breath and listen to yourself, everyone must be entitled to an opinion even if you don't like her calling your dad mean. You stand up for yourself Emily

 

[emmalene_bunny]

Lol, you have to take the last word don't you. I think Emily has plenty valid points, and the one repeating herself is you. Take a breath and listen to yourself, everyone must be entitled to an opinion even if you don't like her calling your dad mean. You stand up for yourself Emily

Get back on topic already and get over it, I was never shutting her down & AGAIN I agreed with her on most points that she made, I've got no problem with her calling my dad "mean" so how about re-reading the entire conversation over again before you start jumping down my throat!

 

[Rob]

I'm stuck at work with no real holidays this year!

Best treat yourself to a day out at the VHS expo then.

 

[emmalene_bunny]

Best treat yourself to a day out at the VHS expo then.

I know I'm so excited! It will be my first time attending and I have already convinced many of my friends to come with me

 

[Rob]

I know I'm so excited! It will be my first time attending and I have already convinced many of my friends to come with me

You will love it. I dare say even your non-herp friends should enjoy it, just not as much as you.

 

[thomasssss]

Lol, you have to take the last word don't you. I think Emily has plenty valid points, and the one repeating herself is you. Take a breath and listen to yourself, everyone must be entitled to an opinion even if you don't like her calling your dad mean. You stand up for yourself Emily

bahahaha take a breath and listen to YOURSELF your moving in on an argument started by a kid with nothing better to do , there harmless jokes and anyone who cant see that then well i kinda feel sorry for you , no ones picked on the condom joke , you girls have no idea how that could knock a young mans confidence about but noooo all the girlys pick on the joke about ugly not washing off must be personal for you huh

 

[junglemac]

Get back on topic already and get over it, I was never shutting her down & AGAIN I agreed with her on most points that she made, I've got no problem with her calling my dad "mean" so how about re-reading the entire conversation over again before you start jumping down my throat!

What topic? She said the joke was mean, you said she had no sense of humor, she continued saying the joke was mean and some people should think before they speak, there is a no win situation with you. No matter how subtle one argues you can't let it go, I think this will be my last word in this conversation.

 

[Stuart]

Two cows standing in a field. One turns to the other and says, "Aren't you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?"
The other turns around and says, "It doesn't bother me, Im a helicopter".

Its a joke thread Ladies and Gents, the merits and perspectives of which can be discussed at length but at the end of the day a joke is a joke. Sometimes they offend, sometimes they don't, how you choose to respond dictates the major outcome.

Now, enough of the serious stuff, I was enjoying the thread

 

[junglemac]

bahahaha take a breath and listen to YOURSELF your moving in on an argument started by a kid with nothing better to do , there harmless jokes and anyone who cant see that then well i kinda feel sorry for you , no ones picked on the condom joke , you girls have no idea how that could knock a young mans confidence about but noooo all the girlys pick on the joke about ugly not washing off must be personal for you huh

i love nothing more than to fire up a youngster with troubles admitting faults. I'm having a gooood chuckle here

 

[emmalene_bunny]

You will love it. I dare say even your non-herp friends should enjoy it, just not as much as you.

I will be planning & preparing greatly of how much it's going to overwhelm me (and possibly my credit card)

Now Rob I have one for you

If you crossed a snake with a Robin, what kind of bird would you get?

A Swallow :lol:

 

[Elapidae1]

My dad had the annoying habit of running for the phone when we were expecting friends and later girlfriends to call.
He would answer with stupid jokes like the old "Pauls mortuary you kill em we chill em" or just random dumb business names. If it was a new friend or girlfriend often they would often just hang up and we would miss a much anticipated call. My dad thought this was hilarious.

If we were hurt. "Don't worry it won't hurt when the pains gone"

 

[thomasssss]

never mind , i wont feed the trolls

now back to the jokes people

 

[emmalene_bunny]

My dad had the annoying habit of running for the phone when we were expecting friends and later girlfriends to call.
He would answer with stupid jokes like the old "Pauls mortuary you kill em we chill em" or just random dumb business names. If it was a new friend or girlfriend often they would often just hang up and we would miss a much anticipated call. My dad thought this was hilarious.

If we were hurt. "Don't worry it won't hurt when the pains gone"

My step dad did the same thing to myself and my step brothers! He wouldn't let us to answer the phones so he could make up ridiculous pet names for our boyfriends/ girlfriends, sorry to my year 7 boyfriend who got stuck with Shawn the Sheep every time he called!

- - - Updated - - -

never mind , i wont feed the trolls

now back to the jokes people

This ones just for you!

What do you call a snake that builds things?
A Boa Constructor! :lol:

 

[Endeavour]

I thought my jokes were bad.


Kindest regards

Endeavour

- - - Updated - - -

Went to the doctors the other day and told him I felt like a pair of curtains, all the doctor said was pull yourself together. (point well proven I think).


Kindest regards


Endeavour

 

[emmalene_bunny]

I thought my jokes were bad.


Kindest regards

Endeavour

- - - Updated - - -

Went to the doctors the other day and told him I felt like a pair of curtains, all the doctor said was pull yourself together. (point well proven I think).


Kindest regards


Endeavour

I keep finding little snake ones that are as silly as possible/ hisss-terical
But I think you topped it with that one!
I love that I'm so easily amused it's getting me through this slow day at work

 

[Bluetongue1]

Think it must have been that era Elapid1. Dad used to occasionally answer the phone with: “Dis is da morgue. How can I help ya?”. My older brother took over from him. His favourite was “Helen’s Happiness Haven” (for some reason). The caller would usually ring straight back and start off with: “You know the strangest thing just happened….”

Had all but forgotten the ‘What do you get if you cross…?’ jokes. I still like the kangaroo crossed with an elephant – Flamin’ holes all over Australia. And for an unexpected change of pace… What do you get if try and cross a rooster with a rooster? Two very cross roosters.

Then there’s all the definition jokes. One of my favourites is a definition of “naïve”… The little old lady working in the condom factory, thinking she’s making raincoats for snakes. (Had to a put a reptilian touch in there). Enough for now. Don't want you wincing too much.

 

[emmalene_bunny]

Thanks for this Blue, raincoats for snakes:lol:

 

[Ralphee]

A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

 

[harlemrain]

Think it must have been that era Elapid1. Dad used to occasionally answer the phone with: “Dis is da morgue. How can I help ya?”. My older brother took over from him. His favourite was “Helen’s Happiness Haven” (for some reason). The caller would usually ring straight back and start off with: “You know the strangest thing just happened….”

Had all but forgotten the ‘What do you get if you cross…?’ jokes. I still like the kangaroo crossed with an elephant – Flamin’ holes all over Australia. And for an unexpected change of pace… What do you get if try and cross a rooster with a rooster? Two very cross roosters.

Then there’s all the definition jokes. One of my favourites is a definition of “naïve”… The little old lady working in the condom factory, thinking she’s making raincoats for snakes. (Had to a put a reptilian touch in there). Enough for now. Don't want you wincing too much.

Bahaha Raincoates for snakes!!! Lol, what do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a sheep? A wooley jumper

 

[emmalene_bunny]

what do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a sheep? A wooley jumper

Such a classic!! :lol: