How do I convince the other half we need more!!!

[Jeannine]

ill probably be flamed for this but hey has never stopped me before

so how come when one member of a family wants more reptiles and the other says NO the one against it must be talked around and made to give in, why cant people accept their wishes instead? i know in some cases once more do arrive the other person ends up not only accepting but in some cases agreeing or asking for more

but i fail to understand why the other person must be bullied into changing their minds, its almost like their wishes are dismissed as not the right ones

 

[Fantazmic]

Jeannine

We are on a reptile forum...surrounded by people who love reptiles...therefore.....it is only logical that everyone on this forum would beleive that it is perfectly ok to have more reptiles and that anyone who does not want any must be deluded and must be talked around to wanting more reptiles for the betterment of their health and general life enjoyment. That anyone who does not want any more reptiles doesnt know that they really do want more and are somehow stuck in a regressed life stage. As reptile lovers we have to do our duty and give ideas and suggestions to others as to how to shift this reptile regressed person on to the next progressed stage of reptile obsession !!

 

[yommy]

It better to ask for forgiveness then permission

That how i got the collection i have, the other half isn't a fan but has grown to excepted it.
It's me & me reptiles plus i've had them longer then her.

 

[Jeannine]

but its totally disrespecting this other persons wishes

is that the way to do things, to make people accept reptiles?

and yes i do realise this is a reptile forum hence my membership here but bullying someone into accepting reptiles doesnt sound right and it is bullying which a lot of people seem to think is unacceptable in any other circumstances

surely if you go into a relationship knowing your partner is NOT a fan of reptiles then bullying them into changing their minds is wrong? you accepted them as they are BEFORE you entered the relationship and if you were not accepting of their wishes then perhaps one shouldnt have entered the relationship though we cant always control who ends up with our hearts and in this case they have already given in and allowed their loved one to have one so its not like they have not allowed them anything

and yes **sigh** we all know how addictive they can be which did surprise me however my husband has said 'no' to anymore at the moment though i do believe some time down the track he may change his mind, if he does thats great but if he doesnt then i accept that without the need to bully or persuade him into accept MY wants

also there may be many other factors to be taken into consideration which we may know nothing about and he could have a genuine reason why he has said no

 

[BigWillieStyles]

Just tell him that snakes make you horny

 

[graffix]

COMPROMISE !!! In any relationship there has to be some compromising going on at some stage. Tell him you want 20 pairs of snakes and lizards. When he totally freaks out settle for a partner for your snake and a pair of dragons. He's happy to keep the tally down and you get what you want.

 

[Bel03]

but its totally disrespecting this other persons wishes

But Verity ISNT disrespecting his wishes........or she wouldnt even ask him! But okay, lets say she is being disrespectful by trying to change his mind........isnt he doing the same thing then by trying to stop her getting more? Relationships should never be one sided, & i think that is what Verity is trying to change, she wants more so she is trying to let the idea of more grow on her partner........thats not a bad thing!

I like the advice about 'its better to ask for forgiveness then to ask for permission'........it works well in my house anyway.......plus, my partner is a big softie, he either says yes to everything or he just doesnt answer.......& i take that as a yes anyway!

 

[RichardBing]

Just get the snake and say ' Look what followed me home honey ! ' :twisted: works for motorbikes too

 

[PMyers]

To the OP: Just do what I did when the other half wanted to put the foot down... remove said other half and get another one ;-)

 

[starr9]

@ Jeannine - I see what your saying and truth be told I didnt think of it that way, so thank you for that! But way before we got together I did tell him I was crazy about animals and that Id like to have as many as I can care for. If he said to me we cant afford to have more or its not fair on the ones you have Id re think my wants/needs. But at this stage he has given me a flat "No" and me being me I need to know why its just no! He comes from a family who's idea of compromise is one way or the other..... my family is all about talking it through and working out an outcome that all are happy with. So I guess thats why Im finding it hard accepting a flat out no.

Before I got Charli I did say Id like to have 2 -3 snakes, some beardy's and maybe some geko's and he never said at that point no. He think's a snake is a snake..... silly boy!!! Id like for him to at least look and hold a beardy and see if its for him so if anyone needs me to babysit for them let me know!!!! hahaha!!

@ PMyers - hes way to good (other than the no more reptiles thing!) to get another one!!! haha! plus before him I was very bad with my selection of partners!!! haha!!

 

[PMyers]

@ PMyers - hes way to good (other than the no more reptiles thing!) to get another one!!! haha! plus before him I was very bad with my selection of partners!!! haha!![/COLOR]

Fair enough. I suppose a few concessions are required for the sake of a "good one". But still, never underestimate the power of the nag.

 

[starr9]

hahahaaha! I will! Tho Im thinking of creating a cd with " Say yes to more pets" on it so I can play it when hes asleep! its the new form of Nag!!!!

 

[AirCooled]

I don't know why some people are taking this thread so seriously,Verity isn't asking how to remove a kidney,while her partner is asleep,to sell on Ebay or Gumtree.

 

[Fantazmic]

and yes i do realise this is a reptile forum hence my membership here but bullying someone into accepting reptiles doesnt sound right and it is bullying which a lot of people seem to think is unacceptable in any other circumstances

No No not bullying......gentle persuasion...........

hahahaaha! I will! Tho Im thinking of creating a cd with " Say yes to more pets" on it so I can play it when hes asleep! its the new form of Nag!!!!

Actually I think it is a form of hypnotherapy.......department stores used to do it with music playing in the background saying buy buy buy and it was made illegal.....so it should work lol.....

 

[Tildy]

Does he have a hobby that costs him money? A sport or something he really loves doing? If so, just point out that you are not curbing his hobby so he should afford you the same courtesy providing you are keeping it within the limits of your money and lifestyle. If you have warned him going into the relationship that it is such a big part of you then he can't very well be surprised about it. I tend to also take in slightly sadder cases, it pulls on my heartstrings and I just play up what I'm feeling so he understands how much the animal needs us.

 

[Jeannine]

im actually glad to see verity gets what i was saying and believe it or not i DO understand and yes a partnership/relationship is a two way street but its NOT like their partner has not allowed them to have a reptile and it seems a compromise was already reached with the first one

im going to be honest and sorry if i offend anyone and remember i DO have reptiles, i KNOW they are addictive but honestly some of the attitudes in here give reptile lovers a bad name and instead of 'talking' people around to YOUR way of thinking you are actually backing them up against a wall and achieving the opposite to what you seek

telling members in this site to ignore their partners, spouses, parents wishes and just go and get reptiles anyway is only making a situation worse and has the potential to cause serious trouble and perhaps even causing fights and the possibility for one to walk out on the other so do you seriously think its worth it?

how would it be, for example, if your partner loved an animal you didnt and you said they couldnt have any and they went against your wishes? would that be ok? what if you go into a relationship not wanting children and your partner knew this then she sneakily got pregnant and that upset you would it still be ok? i know some of these are a bit far fetched but similar scenerio

i hope verity gets an answer from her partner as to why its a dead set NO, maybe its his upbringing and she knew that going into the relationship and if he forces her to make a choice between reptiles and him will this forum be there to help her in every way she needs it? or just laugh it off and tell her now she can have as many as she likes and not be answerable to anyone

good luck verity

 

[MiddleOfNowhere]

You could always do what i did.
Get a Stimmy, couple months later "it's lonely babe, it needs a mate". Get a female...
Get 2 Carpets, 1 died so i had to replace the female, bought 2 womas and tried to pass them off as a single carpet. Made to sleep on couch for a while. Agreed that i had made a mistake and bought her an engagement ring... and then bought a female carpet. slept on couch a bit more.
Married her and was back in the good books... bought a couple beardies. i believe my perforated eardrums was from the sighing, and nagging. offered more loving. slept on couch... bought her a lutino rainbow lorikeet and a split lutino... as well as a frilly... currently in process of buying a sofa bed...

MON

 

[Chris1]

i tried being polite once a few years ago because my partner said it would be nice to be asked. (this was animals 6 and 7 or so,..)

so i asked, and he said no,...
i said it wasnt a question, you said you'd like to be asked, i was just being polite.

ive never 'asked' since

my favourite method now is to purchase what i like, then go downstairs and say, hey, im picking up some new snakes on whatever day it is,...i understand youre gonna have the ****s so i'll just stay outta ur way for a while,......
christmas eve was a great day to do that,...he didnt have a chance to sulk with all the families coming over and stuff, i'll have to remember that for next year, lol,....

 

[brisbaneboy]

chris i have the same method as you and yea it normally get me in trouble

 

[43nickw]

give him a reptile for his birthday and you will get a lawn mower for yours!!!!