Random things kids say

[-Peter]

After an APS outing to Taronga some years ago my son heard a joke, "Went to this new zoo the other day, it only had a dog. It was a shiztu." boom boom. He recounted this several times. My daughter, then about 4 or 5, started to recite this joke at my mum and dads over dinner. I thought ok, its just word play, nothing to bad.
Her take, "We went to the zoo, it just had dogs, if was a f-expletive-d zoo".
Driving down the M5, overtaking another car my daughter says , "take him dad", as we move past she yells ""d%$#khead". Thats what aunty Clair says"
Do I win the $50?

 

[Tinky]

My 4yo one day said, “lean down mummy and I will give you a kiss on the forest”

He meant forehead.

I rolled around the floor laughing with a totally different visual image going through my head, (and before you ask, when I ask to kiss her on the forest she slaps me)

 

[Perko]

Time for some waxing or laser tinky!!! The forest, ewwww

My 4yo one day said, “lean down mummy and I will give you a kiss on the forest”

He meant forehead.

I rolled around the floor laughing with a totally different visual image going through my head, (and before you ask, when I ask to kiss her on the forest she slaps me)

 

[Virides]

I recall when I was younger like 4 or so, I was at my grand parent's house for lunch and I saw all these photos of my grand dad when he was younger (all black and white ofcourse). I came upto him and said "Grand dad, when did you become colour?"

 

[guzzo]

My friend got pulled aside because his little girl was repeatedly swearing at child care.......it turned out she was referring to their dog called Holly.....and all she was innocently saying was "Holly Sit! Holly Sit!"

 

[TigerCoastal]

My friend got pulled aside because his little girl was repeatedly swearing at child care.......it turned out she was referring to their dog called Holly.....and all she was innocently saying was "Holly Sit! Holly Sit!"

LMAO sounds like my step-daughter.... say fox 8 ten times quickly while holding your tongue and see what it sounds like... i used to always go to tell her off for it until i realised that she wanted fox 8 put on

 

[snakebag]

my son was playing with the dog one day, lifted up his tail and said "hey dad i found his belly button". Another time my son was playing outside i called the dog in and my son yelled "wait dad". He ran up to the dog looked in both his eyes and said " yep...hes got worms in his bum".

 

[Virides]

LMAO sounds like my step-daughter.... say fox 8 ten times quickly while holding your tongue and see what it sounds like... i used to always go to tell her off for it until i realised that she wanted fox 8 put on

I remember the "I was born on a pirate ship" with the tongue held..

 

[Rainbow-Serpent]

Well I realise that this is also a facebook group, but I've actually had a little kid say it to me.

A teacher at the primary school was pregnant and I went all the way over to the school to say congratulations - and I ran into a group of really little kids, so I started talking to them and the subject of the pregnant teacher and asked "What's in her tummy?"
So I told them that it was a baby, they looked shocked. They asked me if she loved it so I said yes, and they looked scandalized before asking "Then why did she eat it!!??"

 

[guzzo]

I remember the "I was born on a pirate ship" with the tongue held..

Just tried that as the boss walked in.....thanks man!!

 

[K3nny]

my youngest cousin (whose like 6) was playing with her friend (5) near my 30 yr old cousin (a girl)

friend: how old's you're cousin?
youngest cousin: oh, she's 30
friend: is she married?
youngest cousin: no...
friend: does she have a boyfriend?
youngest cousin: no...
friend: WOOOW, she's 30, unmarried, and doesn't even have a boyfriend???!
youngest cousin: i know rite?

all this within earshot of my older cousin, thank goodness im still 21 =.=

 

[dihsmaj]

Hah hah probably not I dunno.
Lets just say I know more than the average 11 year old...

You would'd want to know what I knew 2 years ago

I'm just going to say, when I was 4, I've been told I randomly exclaimed 'The bones of dead scientists are scattered throughout Melbourne.'

 

[Rainbow-Serpent]

Just remembered something that my little sister said..

Whenever we used to go to Woolworths or Coles, my sister (who was 5 at the time) always wanted to play on the railings between the registers, and she asked our mother if she could do so, but Mom told her "No honey, only ferals do that", so next time we were walking through a store, a child around 9/10 was playing on the bars and my sister so gracefully pointed and announced "Hey look Mom!!! There's a feral!!" loudy and infront of the entire store, so everybody saw.....

 

[Specks]

well i wasnt really a little kid when i said it but i was talking a about footy and i whent to say karmicheal hunt but said kah and mid word decided to change my mind and say hunt.
you know what it sounded like, btw i was like 12 and it didnt sound good at the dinner table

 

[Snakewoman]

My first year at Primary school, we had 'special person day'. I brought my Grandmother, and I showed her around the school. While walking past the toilets my Grandmother pointed to the sign on the girls toilet door and asked "What does that say?" I looked at the sign and replied F off. Somebody had scratched it into the sign

 

[longqi]

I was doing a show with a reasonable sized retic and a woman was plucking up the courage to play with it

She said ... "It wont eat me will it?'
Little boy [maybe son] about five... "No way Your bum wouldnt fit"

They left

 

[CrystalMoon]

I was doing a show with a reasonable sized retic and a woman was plucking up the courage to play with it

She said ... "It wont eat me will it?'
Little boy [maybe son] about five... "No way Your bum wouldnt fit"

They left

that is hilarious, I needed a good laugh

 

[Elapidae1]

upon meeting my wifes workmate who has rather large canine teeth my 5yo exclaims "You look like a vampire"

Went past a bronze statue when I was a kid turned around to my mother "wow he must of been dead for ages"

On the bus with my mum and another mother boards with a very new new born "uugghhh that babies so ugly and wrinkly" at the top of my lungs.

 

[Tristan]

when i was younger lets go with 5 or 6 in class one of the boys (usually a jerk) was sucking up to the teacher, so i just piped up with "The harder you suck the higher you go" of cause a few years later it dawned on me what that actually meant, i think the teacher was too shocked to do/say anything they just sort of said my name loudly and with surprise lol

 

[snakeluvver]

Wow lots of kids swearing! When I was 5 I knew that stuff but I knew that I shouldnt say them.
I just remembered, I was at my friends house and he said "He's got squirrel aids" (dont ask) and his 4 yr old sister heard, then for some reason she started running round yelling "I have squirrel aids, big ones!"