What No Church !!!!

[Bryony]

neither am I!!!!
lol
i'm going to force anti-christ on you
[addvertisment] anti-christ the repelent that keeps away those forcfull door to door bible bashers, and those ones in the city that chase you when you say politly 'no thanx' and last but not least it also repels the ones in town hall with the loud speaker casting biblical words all through the city
anti-christ it could save YOU!
[end advertisment]

please don't take offence to this i have been chased many a time in sydney city by people REALLY wanting me to be 'one of them'
its a traumatic experience

 

[moosenoose]

won't be baited into saying anymore...hummmmmmmm..no,no,no,no!

 

[Fuscus]

... i have been chased many a time in sydney city by people REALLY wanting me to be 'one of them'
its a traumatic experience

It is less traumatic if you are large bald and in a foul mood, as I was in St. Kilda (Vic). Funny thing, you would have thought the phrase "You have five seconds before I move you closer to God" would have caused much joy and enlightenment, instead of causing the guy to turn pail and scurry away.
Another good thing is to answer the door with a two meter water python wrapped around your arm. Works equally well with all denominations and the mother-in-law
I have to point out that most of the door knockers are, in fact, very pleasant and polite people (As SnakeWrangler seems to be) and a firm and polite "No, thanks I am not interested" is normally all that is needed. Once I even had a long and pleasent conversation about my parrot photos which
are framed and visible from the door way.

 

[SnakeWrangler]

Well, I'm back on a short intermission from the eistedford, I can see that there is no real point in continuing this discussion as each person will believe what they will, and so it should be.

It has been interesting to talk about, but I think it is time to let it die and get back to discussing our beautiful little and big pets.

Cheers.

 

[Bryony]

i have had traumatic experiences before: -
1) i was forced to go to an ex BF's church and it was a healing hail the lord one and all of it was set up!!! i never had 'the spirit entre me' and so i was put up on the big stage and they all started chanting (i was so freaked out by this stage) then an old lady put her hand on my forhead and said "let the spirit enter this lady" and then she proceeded to slam me on to the floor and then said "the spirit has entered her" but all she did was give me a massive headache

2) i was in centre point shopping centre and a nice man came up to me and said "are you with god?" and i said "i'm sorry i'm not interested, have a nice day" then he proceeded to follow me and read to me parts of the bible and follow me into the shops and then cornered me and thrusted the bible into my face and started yelling at me. Then the shops security threw him out.

3) old guy with a mega phone on town hall steps saying to everyone "your all going to burn in hell you are the devils spawn!" and as i was walking past he ran up to me and my friend with the mega phone in hand and screeched the same wods right in my ear i thought i was deaf after that.

there are more stories but don't have time to write them all

 

[NoOne]

The churchies look and don't bother so i never have to say anything to them.......except the occaisonal f#@$ off!

 

[africancichlidau]

I once answerewd the door in my robe and asked the JW's to come back once I'd finished having sex They never did come back, I wonder why???

 

[Greg]

Cause they're still waiting for you to finish Phil. They knew you were alone. :wink:

 

[Ella]

hehehe

I'd like some of that anti-christ please Bryony. It'll save me a lot of time and energy when I'm out clubbing. Itz kind of a downer when ur damned to the fiery depths of hell.

 

[Fuscus]

... old lady put her hand on my forhead and said "let the spirit enter this lady" and then she proceeded to slam me on to the floor and then said "the spirit has entered her" but all she did was give me a massive headache

Gee, All spirts that have entered me have done so via a bottle. Did get the massive headaches too.

 

[hey_im_sam]

LOL Bry!! :lol: You've had a pretty hard time of it!
The most I've ever suffered was getting a children's bible from my Gran for Christmas. Come to think of it though I think I got one about 4 Christmasses running... maybe she was hinting at something?

 

[Bryony]

oh and one more traumatic experience
my ex was the churchie (the one who took me to that horrible church where the lady hit me) and after that he gave me a huge lecture about how i was going to hell and how he will save my sole and then proceeded to make me watch a church dvd! yes thats right a church DVD!
not to mention i told him to go to hell and that i was leaving, so what does he do? he signs me up to the church mailing list!!!! then sent me bible pages with high lights of section that apparently "related" to me

 

[Bryony]

stupid bloody.......(mumble mumble)

 

[soulweaver]

whats a church?

 

[Bryony]

a creepy place where they tell you crap
sort of like being abducted by aliens

 

[moosenoose]

2) i was in centre point shopping centre and a nice man came up to me and said "are you with god?"

You should have said I went to church once and some cow almost sent me to him!

I agree with SnakeWrangler, I won't air my opinion on this any further.

 

[Pinkie]

2) i was in centre point shopping centre and a nice man came up to me and said "are you with god?" and i said "i'm sorry i'm not interested, have a nice day" then he proceeded to follow me and read to me parts of the bible and follow me into the shops and then cornered me and thrusted the bible into my face and started yelling at me.

This used to happen to me every day at Sydney uni - eek.

 

[Greg]

These two Mormon blokes came to our door one morning wanting to convert us or preach to us or whatever it is they do. (I usually let them start to get wound up a bit before cutting them off). I started telling them there's no such thing as God and stuff, like I do. Anyway, my youngest daughter (who was born with Down Syndrome) came to the door to see who it was. Well when these two clowns saw her, they said to me that God has punished us, that's why we have a daughter with DS. I kid you not. These pricks reckoned it was God's way of punishing mine and my wife's sins. Needless to say their feet didn't touch the front yard as I walked them out carrying them by their throats. I think the word spread about the big crazy bloke in number 3 cause we've never been bothered by them again.


Greg.

 

[instar]

"Ahem......Excuse me, Is this the Jewish section ?, I certainly dont want to be "electronically cummunicating with Samaritans! " :lol:

 

[frebib(69)]

has any 1 ever thought of this

we are all just a big bunch of germs that inhabbit a alien and we all just occured bcos of 1 of his mistakes...
and dinosaurs are bugs that have died on his skin and we have collected it all... i know it sounds dumb but my science teacher sed it... i dont agree with him at all but its a theory